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coronavirus
 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-17 19:55 [#02597479]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to RussellDust: #02597471



Morgan Freeman sold Batman technology overseas instead of
destroying it. Really puts his sanctimonious little speeches
into perspective!


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-17 23:57 [#02597492]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



yelling drones


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-18 00:19 [#02597493]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02597492



"go home! be a family man"


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-18 00:20 [#02597494]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02597492



this is a real peak of the future isn't it, fucking drones
harassing you with adverts and government propaganda


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-18 00:20 [#02597495]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker



peek


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-18 00:46 [#02597496]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



either version of the word works.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-18 00:48 [#02597497]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



cannabis panic


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-18 15:31 [#02597505]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



memooop


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-18 16:38 [#02597510]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



the Wetherspoon goblin speaks

He pointed to Wetherspoon sales which have been
“positive in the last few weeks in spite of storms and
health scares” as evidence that this position would be
“in tune with the robust instincts of the nation.”

"Lockdown delays the inevitable and destroys the tax base at
the same time, which will cripple the NHS and the
economy,” Martin said.



 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-03-18 16:46 [#02597511]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



girl just walked into a house across the street,
wearing a furry onesie and carrying two bottles of corona


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-18 17:59 [#02597514]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



monday: paper towels, TP cleared out. canned goods low, but
present. prepackaged cheese missing some types, low on
others, but mostly fine.

today: canned goods gone. cheese all gone, except for some
odd bricks. never seen shelves so empty. the only thing they
had that i wanted was more sugar-free red bull, and there,
they did not have packs, just individual cans. i took six
and stopped there to leave the rest for someone else.

i figure there is a sort of siphon effect in this sort of
situation: people see the shelves emptying, and think,
"fuck, i'd better get stuff now!" and buy more than they
usually would. seeing stuff they'd usually get gone, they
start panic buying shit they normally would never bother
with

in any case, there is officially no longer a point in going
out to the store. at least for a good few days


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-18 18:30 [#02597516]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02597514



yeah its like reaching the event horizon of a black hole,
before you realise the situation its already too late

people are panic buying now because the people who
previously panic bought caused the scarcity in the first
place, so now you have to stock up otherwise you wont have
anything.
Having said that I haven't really bought anything yet


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-03-18 18:43 [#02597517]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



skipped shopping from fri to tuesday,
heard there were empty shelves,
figured ill just wait awhile, let goods be restocked on
monday,
folks trample the shit out of each other on monday and
tuesday
and just do groceries on wednesday (today)

so, today we went to two arabic grocery stores to get
veggies, fruit and goat cheese, the marketstall to get eggs
& potatoes, the new environment friendly store that sells
unwrapped goods only to get my bottle of milk & noodles and
the bakery to get a bread. every shelve was filled to the
top, hardly any to no queues.

worked out rather well, once people stocked up, theyre done
with it and go get some ice cream, really sunny today.

next hurdle for us to take is to avoid contact, as in going
to the mall, taking a stroll in crowded areas, having corona
parties and meetups every day, storming the hardware stores
and plant markets
because if we ignore the quarantine the state gave us with
closing lots down, we sabotage the purpose of it,
which government says would lead to a real quarantine and
house arrest for everybody who doesnt need to work in
critical jobs as mo experiences it in italy right now.

we re good for about a week or two and have no absolute need
to leave the house. we have cancelled visitors and try to
stick with it. hopefully doing something good in helping
preventing the spread.


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-18 20:18 [#02597521]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



Looking forward to the London lockdown


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-18 21:40 [#02597523]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



i just played some corona-sim. doesnt look good
LAZY_TITLE


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-19 17:36 [#02597546]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



The military arrives in Bergamo to take the coffins.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-03-19 18:17 [#02597548]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02597546 | Show recordbag



terrible isnt it, seems to live into an underdeveloped
country

guess who had the most commercial relatioships with china


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-19 18:25 [#02597551]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02597548



Off the top of my head I'd guess the US is China's biggest
trading partner, if that's what you mean.

Or you mean Italy imports the most barrels of Chinese
phlegm? 🤮


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-03-19 18:30 [#02597552]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i mean in europe, maybe

we've got whole football teams sold to them, thats how you
measure commercial trade in italy


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-19 23:23 [#02597574]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



italy now officially has more cases than china

some italians don't seem to give a fuck
LAZY_TITLE

the measurements in china will never be applicable in
europe. if we won't get a vaccination we will be fucked.
this will fuck up the whole 2020, definitely
LAZY_TITLE

this fucking sucks. hard


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-19 23:24 [#02597575]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



fuck


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-19 23:58 [#02597577]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to DADONCK: #02597574



jesus, they ain't playing

the level of organization everywhere else is "yeah whatever"


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-20 00:23 [#02597580]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



if people don't stay home they harm their country

italians and spanish people need to get their shit together
no fucking socialising anymore. for 2 months
LAZY_TITLE

people say british and german people are similar culturally,
but i hope germans are as contact unfriendly as their
reputation these days


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-20 00:24 [#02597581]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02597577



i don't wanna live like that :/


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 00:54 [#02597582]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker



Its very depressing to get a increasing death toll each day,
I had people on facebook saying the flu kills more people
per year, yeah it would if the rate of infection stays the
same for corvid but it isn't, its going to increase
dramatically we only have tens of thousands of people in
each country badly effected, imagine when it gets to
hundreds of thousands and millions, then people will really
fucking panic hard, the virus worries me but the behaviour
of society really worries me more, Ive seen a few photos of
elderly people trying to do their shopping but their is fuck
all available for them, there are some right bastards doing
this, they should record them all and when its all over fine
them for creating a supply crisis


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-20 01:14 [#02597584]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



a vaccine will take 12 to 18 months
until then ill try to stay home as much as possible

everyone in prague needs to wear a facemask already


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 01:34 [#02597585]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to DADONCK: #02597584



yeah it seems like we are in it for the long haul, where I
an in the north west there is a relatively small amount of
deaths so far, London is not surprisingly the epicentre, I
think we are a few weeks behind Italy on the curve which is
a frightening thought, there is no escaping whats going to
happen it seems


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-20 04:57 [#02597586]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



the npr said "we are two weeks behind italy" and perhaps
that is about accurate.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-20 05:01 [#02597587]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



mo,
how is life in the future?


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-20 05:29 [#02597589]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular



The Guardian manages to at last find the angle they were
looking for, that "communities" will be hardest hit, by
delivering Fears that cancelling exams will hit BAME and poor pupils.... It was only a matter of time...


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-20 05:42 [#02597590]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular



My mate just texted me saying did I fancy going for a walk
in the park on Saturday which i thought was a good idea,
lots of space, don't have to go bear anyone. Then he
followed it up with "and then we can go for a couple of
drinks". No, No... no we can't. We'll buy some cans and
drink them on a bench like civilised people.

I feel a bit fatalist as my partner's coming back from
Australia today, via fucking Doha, and has said her plane
was delayed as they had to take coughing people off, so,
without wishing to seem self-centred, that's me fucked
unless I tell her to bugger off for a fortnight.


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-03-20 11:06 [#02597594]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02597590 | Show recordbag



where else would she go for 14 days without being a risk to
others?
maybe you ought to just cave in for 14 days together and get
your neccessaries delivered if you run out of anything.
unless you count yourself into the risk group for any reason
of course.



 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-20 11:25 [#02597595]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02597590



via fucking Doha

*roger turning the epidemic over and over like a puzzle
piece in his hands trying to fit it into his worldview*

kuh... koranavirus?


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-20 11:53 [#02597597]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



for myself, i see this shit more like worldwide scabies,
that are very hard to get rid off but. people with chronic
conditions are at risk, but roger and his girl will be fine,
even if they catch corona, assuming they don't have other
sicknesses

I'm sick right now but its not very bad. I don't think its
corona, but I stay home as much as possible, I just put
myself under quarantine. I don't need officials telling me
what to do. When I get breathing problems i call the doctor.
If i can't get a doctor on the phone I call the emergency.
But that won't happen.

I believe this is true and news that post other stories are
just in for the clickbait
LAZY_TITLE

I'm afraid of my mom getting it, because she doesnt seem to
care about it too much and she can barely walk 200m. just
found out through my sister that she took the kids of my
cousin for the weekend…





 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-20 12:06 [#02597598]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to DADONCK: #02597597



That is a dumb and irresponsible article. Most deaths in
Italy are among the old and people with underlying
conditions because they're the ones getting triaged out of
treatment with ventilators. Doctors are prioritizing people
with a better chance of survival. That doesn't mean young
and healthy people aren't getting so sick they require
hospitalization and ICU. Many are. And they're crowding out
the old and infirm.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-20 12:09 [#02597599]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02597595



I honestly believe drinking steadily, staunchly, stoically
and heavily, wards it off.

Breakfast: Wine.
Lunch: Wine.
Snack: Wine.
Dinner: Wine.
After Dinner until going to bed: Wine.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-20 12:10 [#02597600]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular



And eating prawns.


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-20 12:11 [#02597601]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02597599



If you keep at it alone in your apartment, with occasional
curt nods to drinkers across the way, then yes.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 12:11 [#02597602]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker



Roger I thought you would be self isolating in Wetherspoons


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 12:14 [#02597603]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker



My brother said he saw someone with 24 loafs in a shopping
trolley

Then he said he saw some guy with 8 tins of cat food and
when he got to the till he was told "sorry but you can only
have 4"

the guy replied with "don't apologise to me.. apologise to
the cat"


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-20 12:17 [#02597604]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02597602



I rarely drink in the pub, far too expensive. Even a godless
budget Wetherspoons. I'm working from home, just a
bit more wrecked than normal. Productivity is as erratic as
ever, moments of genius between vast lacuna of "will this
do?"


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 12:22 [#02597605]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02597604



that frazzled twat has the place still open, probably cos he
knows it will go bankrupt in a few months.

Yeah my brother is working from home, he seems to be
inundated with emails and whats app messages, I think he
secretly prefers it cos he is get hassled by lecturers less


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 12:23 [#02597606]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker



Hope your partner is alright, last place you want to get
coughed on is a flight from Doha, probably diseases on that
plane that are new to science


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-20 12:26 [#02597607]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02597598



hmm, you have a valid point there. they are already in
catastrophe mode… argh


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-20 12:28 [#02597608]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02597606



Well this is it, I mean, I know I am deeply Islamophobic and
irredeemably racist, but... come on, Doah... I just know I
am going to get it now, apparently people were coughing the
whole flight.... and it won't just be Coronavirus, it'll be
as Danza says, Koranavirus, which is doubly galling for a
crusader infidel like myself.


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-03-20 12:29 [#02597609]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular



my friend, who is a bit younger than me had a very hard time
breathing on the morning and went to get tested today. he
will know tuesday next week


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 12:33 [#02597610]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02597608



they have MERS (middle eastern respiratory syndrome) which
is much more deadly than corona, but thankfully doesn't
spread far cos it kills the host quickly, I think you can
get it from being too near camels


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-03-20 12:35 [#02597611]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to DADONCK: #02597609



all the best for your mate, its not something anyone at any
age wants even if it doesn't kill you, my mates mum has
suspected corona, she has been in ben all this week


 

online belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2020-03-20 13:00 [#02597612]
Points: 6384 Status: Lurker



better than ben being in her all week, amirite

(i'll get me coat)


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-20 13:00 [#02597613]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



holy shit holy shit

Click through and watch the video. Note that the balloon
head things are not ventilators. A real ventilator is when
they stick tubes down your trachea. That's what they're
short of.

The Bergamo hospital's survival rate for corona is 50%


 


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