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DADONCK
from here on 2020-02-04 23:57 [#02594332]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02594323
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success, success, fucksass sounds to me like you're badassely kicked dark matter in the puss
and succeeded with that
i hope you are able to celebrate these achievements
i took a bath today and drank some wine after i decided to pay off all my dept
it wasn't much left but i had to pay retarded assholes which isn't easy
i think i focus more on the money i could loose, than on the money i could make
i have to change that
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-05 00:06 [#02594333]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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oh, god, settling the credit card bill was legitimately sketchy as fuck. it was some boiler room operation that had bought my credit card debt and they send me letters and call.
once i have the money, i take a look. their website has no login, no account, just type in some numbers and it has payment options. very blank wall. i'm like: is this a scam? their google reviews are terrible (what do you expect for any collections agency?) but they do seem to be real. i debate just paying with a virtual check.
i'm glad i did. apparently, if i'd tried to do that, it probably wouldn't have worked, they tell me. so i start working through some process and we're most of the way there when the call disconnects. i call back in a panic, worrying i'm going to have to do this all over again -- i'm doing this over my lunchbreak. at a bar, to help my sense of patience. by some miracle, i am connected to exactly the same obese black lady (judging from the voice and mannerisms) as before. "oh, yes, all our computers went crazy" she informs me.
i get a confirmation number, address, instructions. bite my lip and blindly mail thousands to this crappy place. wait. freak out a bit. wait
then i get a release from debt letter. ok, this could still be faked? is it clear? i run a credit report, and, thank god, it is.
to make it absolutely clear i've paid it, they just sent me an IRS form a few weeks back. apparently, if you settle a debt for less than the original amount, the difference counts as a profit and you have to pay taxes on this profit
god bless america.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-11 05:33 [#02594681]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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LAZY_TITLE
“This is almost like a shooting gallery for the virus. It doesn’t make sense and is almost cruel,” said Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security.
The initial decision to quarantine the entire ship was an attempt to strike a difficult balance between protecting Japan from exposure and safeguarding the passengers and crew. The infected have been removed from the ship and put in hospitals. But experts argued that the growing number of infections — which now exceeds the number of people with the virus in the rest of Japan — calls for urgent action and a new plan.
i've always had nothing but contempt for cruise ships. i have seen countless news article about virus-outbreak-on-cruise-ship, and, even before that, the idea of being trapped in a floating hotel where you can't go around the corner and pay 7/11 prices sounds like disney dollar shit
however, now, ironically, this doesn't seem bad to me. stuck in a 10x12 cabin with a laptop, unable to leave, i'd probably write some good tracker shit
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-11 05:58 [#02594682]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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LAZY_TITLE
a virus hijacks a cell's replicative machinery to make copies of itself until the infected cell is so stuffed with copies of the virus it explodes and spews the copies everywhere
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-11 06:06 [#02594683]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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LAZY_TITLE
oh my god, this guy is so full of shit i feel like i'm choking on cotton
on the fence as to whether to post it here or in one of the trump threads
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2020-02-11 08:42 [#02594684]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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I’ve had like 3 weeks worth of work cancelled because of this thing. Really annoying.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-02-22 21:51 [#02595691]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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in italy
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-02-22 21:58 [#02595692]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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im lolling hard thinking at my flatmate's face when i questioned him today about his flu
he kinda rejoyed when i told him i broke my tooth
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RussellDust
on 2020-02-22 22:13 [#02595695]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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I have no flu symptoms but my hands, arms and jaw have been trembling today.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-23 03:11 [#02595698]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i got a frickin' upper respiratory whatever again, but this time it was quite mild, was feeling it thursday nite, friday proper, today it's more distant. but, jeez, i only had another cold, like, a week ago. i blame lack of sleep, public transit, and working in an "open office" with loads of people
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2020-02-23 06:45 [#02595709]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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Bloody Chinese eh, nightmare they are.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-02-28 21:14 [#02595961]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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i had something to lol today as i shaved my moustaches, the skin reddened a bit and i went to the supermarket to be singled out from the cashier saying, 'is everything alright???' with some courage as he is always a man that stands behind
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-02-28 21:44 [#02595967]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02595961
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haha
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-02-28 23:53 [#02595976]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker
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38% of Americans wouldn't buy Corona beer "under any circumstances" because of the coronavirus, according to a recent survey.
this does not appear to be a joke
umbro you're a prophet
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-02-29 00:29 [#02595980]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tony Danza: #02595976
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saw that before, if its real we are fucked as a species aren't we
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-29 00:55 [#02595981]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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CARONAVIRUS will DISAPPEAR like a MIRACLE
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DADONCK
from here on 2020-02-29 02:24 [#02595998]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular
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it will get pretty drastic soon. i think i might be able to stay home for some time
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-29 02:55 [#02596003]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to DADONCK: #02595998
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LAZY_TITLE
if that picks up over the weekend, trump is going to be furious about what news coverage of it does to the stock market next week
at a certain point, i realized it was no use. after sharpiegate, i recalled some comedian's response to applegate: trump was trying to spin his reference to tim cook as "tim apple," and, yes, "it's like when a little child comes up to you with marker all over their face, and you ask them: 'did you draw on yourself with marker?' and then the little kid adamantly denies it." now, there is an actual incident with marker. can you see it yet? no? ffffu
his voting herd are in so deep they've found ways to rationalize each and every bit of absurdity, with fox news to fill in the blanks. meanwhile, the stock market is not his voting herd. money is on the line, and trump has repeatedly made claims he's not followed up on. even if the US doesn't corone, it's effecting the factories in china that make all the apple chips, and thus, still, the stock market.
obviously, coronavirus is a conspiracy, put on my democrats and the media, who are you, fucking seedy sea or whatever, scaring my stock market. that's my gold star. who are you to fuck with my gold star
yeah, it could get a bit drastic. at least i have enough bog roll to last it out
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-03 01:00 [#02596180]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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bog roll rush
sitting pretty and feeling smug
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-03 01:11 [#02596183]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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y'all got took
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-03-03 08:02 [#02596187]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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every day i cross a supermarkets parking lot and for about a week now it is packed. people buying shitloads it seems. we hardly give a fuck though and i havent met or talked to anybody who does either. there was a pic in the local papers of empty shelves, all the while telling us not to panic. its weird having 80% of the pages filled with corona and apart from that pic i feel well informed. while it most likely wont kill any more than any other flu i feel somewhat anxious to see how difficult it is to prevent a virus from spreading. i live in a very densely populated area. dont really want to imagine being closed in in a shut environment with 5 million people storming the markets.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 00:59 [#02596204]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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The two Iranian men who defied coronavirus warnings when they videotaped themselves licking holy shrines in Qom could face prison and flogging.
The now-viral videos of the two men began circulating over the weekend as Iran continues to work to contain the spread of the novel coronavirus. Officially known as COVID-19, it has killed at least 77 in the Middle Eastern country.
on the one hand, i should probably be respectful of other religions and cultures.
on the other hand... licking a holy shrine? really, that is your religious culture? lol
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 01:00 [#02596205]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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flogging!
double flogging!
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 01:08 [#02596206]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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LAZY_TITLE
shit, do it, bro, do it. fellate that fucking shrine
(shit, he's doing it)
also
Then, suddenly, the stillness was shattered, as a sent-home-from-school-early Mewes kicked the Rec door open, marched into the building Groucho Marx style, and proceeded to fellate everything somewhat phallic in the room.
Walt and I watched with wonder as Mewes grabbed a pool cue and pretended to suck it off. Losing interest, he ran up to the phone on the front desk, grabbed the receiver from the cradle, and pretended to suck that off. He grabbed the flag pole and did the same. He grabbed a whiffle ball bat and did the same. This went on for twenty minutes, with seemingly no regard for our presence whatsoever. He never looked at us as if to say “Are you seeing this shit?” He never looked at us at all. He didn’t seem to care that we were even there. This wasn’t a show for our benefit. It was as if he’d been walking around Highlands moments earlier, took a gander at his watch, and was like “Wow – it’s two o’clock. I’d better get down to the Rec and suck everything off.” The kid had an agenda, and he was actively fulfilling it.
It was when he finally reached the Rec’s only video game – a standard “Asteroids” kiosk that time had forgotten – that he finally paused. Studying it momentarily and finding nothing dick-like to pretend to suck off, he seemed stymied. There was no joystick to give him purchase; just a roller ball and a fire button. Walt and I watched with great curiosity, waiting to see how he’d overcome this unforeseen obstacle.
After what felt like five minutes, Mewes shrugged, bent down to the game controls, and started working the roller ball like it was a clit – his tongue darting in and out of his mouth, lapping at the orb as he spun it with his f
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 01:21 [#02596207]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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someone described kissing the blarney stone to me, and i thought that was retarded as well: you're relying on other people to dangle you over the edge of precipice so you can kiss some rock thousands of other people kiss each month? that is both dangerous and gross. and i don't need it. i'm half irish and talk too much already
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 01:35 [#02596208]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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maybe, however, performing cunnilingus on an ornate fence would benefit me spiritually
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 01:37 [#02596209]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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Iran temporarily released more than 54,000 prisoners in an effort to prevent the spread of the coronavirus outbreak in the country’s overcrowded prisons, as the disease has killed dozens in the country and infected 23 members of the Iranian parliament.
Judiciary spokesman Gholamhossein Esmaili told reporters certain inmates were allowed out of prison after testing negative for COVID-19 and posting bail. “Security prisoners,” sentenced to more than five years, would not be let out.
i'm sure those 54,000 people will be responsible citizens and promptly report back to prison once the panic is over.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 02:03 [#02596210]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i was in israel on a business trip and they were kind enough to set me up with a tour bus to jerusalem one weekend. there are many points of interest, but here i would reference bethlehem: what a fucking dump. they drove us to some famous church and the people there were obnoxious, demanding everyone take off their shoes and take off this shirt or whatever to show the appropriate respect. i really have no idea what's going on, i'm just happy to be out of the scorching summer sun. they harass me about my shirt or something. eventually, everyone queues up. i have no idea what's going on. finally, it's my turn, and there's just this fucking hole in the floor. or maybe there was something in it, i don't recall. but it was just a missing tile inside a shrine and down into the dirt, and i had no idea what was going on. i looked at it, trying to appear reverent, and then moved along. later i learned i was supposed to stick some widget in the hole to bless it or some crap; totally missed the boat there. the wall you wedge paper into made much more sense to me; i nailed that one
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-04 02:04 [#02596211]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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a part of me is all "be nice, be nice" but another part of me wants to force-feed religion cotton until it shuts the fuck up.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-03-11 20:30 [#02596891]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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been to the doctor today, had a lol when i came back home cos there was a sick patient speaking from outside the building saying they won't do the test on him and keep on telling 'why, why' in a funny accent since he was a foreigner
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DADONCK
from here on 2020-03-11 21:35 [#02596895]
Points: 3523 Status: Regular
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i almost finished my studio, just need a midi merger and a few little things that i will order tomorrow. tomorrow will also be my last dentist visit. my new tooth is modeled and ready to be put into my face
corona, come at me bro. im ready to just sit at home for a month, to only go outside to buy food and toilet paper. a month at home in quarantine. payed. can't wait.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-12 04:56 [#02596920]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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LAZY_TITLE
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Portnoy
on 2020-03-12 07:54 [#02596922]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular
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SA only has a few confirmed cases but my wife is now in quarantine as per her work's instructions, as she was in contact with travelling foreigners. So here we are.
Also, Tom Hanks has corona virus. I like Tom Hanks.
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Portnoy
on 2020-03-12 07:55 [#02596923]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02596891
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Hang in there mo. Wife's mum lives in Pesaro. She's very worried.
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RussellDust
on 2020-03-12 12:20 [#02596926]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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It’s getting a bit mad here. Only a couple of hours from northern Italy so shits getting real. I have a heart condition, asthma and emphysema so I’ll probably have a rough time if I get it. In the other hand I rarely (if ever) get the flu so maybe my immune system isn’t too shabby.
Must be crazy in Italy, mo...
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-03-12 12:31 [#02596928]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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pandemic apart should be always like this, i mean the streets, empty like in a post-apocalyptic scenario
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Roger Wilco
from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-12 12:31 [#02596929]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular
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Do you kind of get the feeling we should all start saying goodbye and, in some cases, fervently apologising?
*coughs, sweats and farts all at the same time*
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-03-12 12:33 [#02596930]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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nature advances in this scenery, with lack of sound and air pollution its all about the birds
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-03-12 12:34 [#02596931]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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we enter into supermarkets in a row
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-03-12 12:37 [#02596932]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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its the new chernobyl
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-03-12 12:51 [#02596933]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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in case i die, last album i bought was Inspektah Deck's Chamber 9
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RussellDust
on 2020-03-12 12:58 [#02596934]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02596929
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Maybe, yes... I’m sorry I shagged your mum, Roger.
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RussellDust
on 2020-03-12 12:59 [#02596935]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02596928
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Must be spooky.
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-03-12 13:45 [#02596938]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker
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Friends, I've a dry cough. Sorry for all the people I've tortured online, and I accept Jesus into my life as my Lord and Saviour.
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Roger Wilco
from Mo's Beans on 2020-03-12 14:16 [#02596939]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular | Followup to RussellDust: #02596934
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If you did shag my mum, it's me that should be sorry for inadvertently introducing you to the miserable, hatchet-faced old crone.
I've got a bit of a dry cough too.... *lets loose another weak fart*
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-12 14:25 [#02596943]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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my prayers are with the bartenders who will miss my generous tips
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Portnoy
on 2020-03-12 16:15 [#02596947]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular
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I'm still trying to get my head around how to disinfect properly. Ran out to the shops today, bought: tobacco, papers, fruit, a bread and a 500ml Fanta. I come home, wash my hands, yet I worry that everything else could still be contaminated. So many people had their hands on it, including the lady at the till. What difference does it make? And the arsehole standing in line at the tobacco shop was all up in my face too. No respect for the bubble.
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RussellDust
on 2020-03-12 16:26 [#02596948]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker | Followup to Portnoy: #02596947
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I guess wash your hands after drinking your Fanta and eating your bread. ;P
And don’t pick your nose or rub your eyes.
A guy the other day was telling me how he’s a hypochondriac and if someone sneezes near him it ruins his day. As he was saying this bits of his spit were going in my bag full of groceries, on my jumper and on my face. The nausea started to creep in...
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Portnoy
on 2020-03-12 16:34 [#02596949]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular | Followup to RussellDust: #02596948
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Too late! Yer fucked
Difficult not to touch your face. Somethings always itching.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-03-12 17:11 [#02596951]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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my russian cow orker has a habit of getting too close and spitting as he talks, occasionally grabbing away my computer mouse. it irritates the shit out of me under normal circumstances, but, last monday i almost fucking punched him
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