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 (nobody)...and 100 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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i could be wrong though don't think i am though |
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The 2013 study (coauthored by Florence J.M. Ruby, Haakon Engen, and Tania Singer) argues that not all kinds of self-generated thought or mind-wandering are alike. The data collected from approximately 100 participants took into account whether their thoughts were task related, focused on the past or future, about themselves or others, and positive or negative. What this study found was that, yes, negative thoughts brought about negative moods (no duh). Self-generated thought in depressed people tended to cause and be caused by negative moods, and “past-related thought may be especially likely to be associated with low mood.” But all hope is not lost. The study also found that “by contrast, future- and self-related thoughts preceded improvements of mood, even when current thought content was negative.” “Daydreaming has aspects that will allow us to think originally about our lives,” Smallwood told me. “But in certain circumstances, continuing to think about something might not be the right thing to do. Many states of chronic unhappiness are probably linked to daydreaming simply because there are unsolvable problems.” |
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lets say that in condition of extreme difficulty you can go mad and start daydreaming, which is the parallel reality your survival instinct built as the only acceptable mental environment, but the question is, how much difficulty and therefore how much daydreaming is acceptable for your brain to survive? |
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you are the rambling madman in the 'rabbit in your headlights' u.n.k.l.e video in this thread |
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lets say that in condition of extreme difficulty you can go mad and start daydreaming, which is the parallel reality your survival instinct built as the only acceptable mental environment, but the question is, how much difficulty and therefore how much daydreaming is acceptable for your brain to survive? ulillillia said something like, "i won't ever be able to get a driver's license, because i'd start playing my 'brain games' while driving and crash the car." i used to get so lost in thought about computer programming or whatever while driving that i would almost miss stop signs, red lights, etc... but, never actually did, just had to slam on the brakes very suddenly. somewhere along the line, that stopped being an issue. i was thrilled with this development, and i wanted more. so i began a rigorous meditiative/mindfulness study of my driving, and the results are detailed throughout this thread. i could link the posts if you want |
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point being, too much daydreaming can be deadly unless you have refactored your muscle memory and carefully trained your weasels to rhythmically multiplex |
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at some point along the line, the sphere of context became plane |
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well thats not much to bullshit about driving, you have to have a thousand eyes and be always focused. |
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with all the stuff going on, with all the crap people pull, i view it as nothing short of a miracle that cars and driving work so well. how little actually goes wrong. can't blame me for wanting to know how that all works at all works |
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The microarchitecture does not allow memory references, including speculative references, that access higher privileged data when running in a lesser privileged mode when that access would result in a page fault |
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i examine my pod of cookies ("biscuits") from its position on the shelf. rotate it, so the courtesy flap is accessible. examine the cookies ("biscuits") from the resulting angle. "the center cookie {'biscuit'} looks like the primo {'biscuit'}," i thot to myself as i flipped the courtesy flap. flap as i reach for the cookie, my brain becomes a game show. you are the cookie*. of. the moment!!!1. a simulated audience cheers with delight. i devour the cookie (biscuit) and reflect upon the game show. why had it suddenly appeared? it would be more understandable should i have been doing something tedious... my mind wandering off into a daydream... but, no, i was eating a biscuit (cookie). things are like this for me. sudden strange pyrotechnics. i suspect my brain was just happy to be fed a cookie (biscuit). *biscuit |
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biscuits are the balance of life |
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if i had a VR setup i could probably recreate the immersive game-show experience i had. i wish i could, really. would be sort of like how people paint their dreams to make sense of them. i'm sure the sounds 'n' visuals were all odd parts culled from my life experiences. the camera angle, the lights... i'm sure i saw it on tv somewhere. it's on the tip of my toungle. i get that tingle of aphasia i've been becoming increasingly familiar with, letting me know that, yes, there is an answer, but it's too foggy. i can't see through to the answer. i want to say it was from wheel of fortune, but i really cannot be sure |
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This thread does not exist. |
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this post is not about itself. |
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You are not yourself because you have not created yourself. You are an effect of something else, and that cause is who is you, while you yourself are just a shadow/ghost/after-image of that process. You don't exist and you don't read this sentence. .uoY |
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i wrote posts about this very thing in this very thread. i found a snappy quote that's in the ballbark, somewhere on page nine: but, really, read if you wand the full mindhacker experience |
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ok this is managable as a baby, your mind has no language. you're around your parents and soak up their harmonics, rhythms, and feelings until enough has built up for you to learn to speak by exploding all that you've heard into little bits and stitching it back together to express yourself. i've joked consciousness is a just really long tape delay with the feedback turned up slightly past unity... kernel of truth, there. the voices of your parents are fed into an empty delay with the feedback slightly past unity. it gathers and spirals around until you break the wall of language. other voices flow in: relatives. sesame street. over time, a unique individual emerges as your spiral gathers the inverse of entropy. your parents' spirals were initialized by the voices of their parents, and their parents by their parents, and it's like a tape loop of rhythmic data being passed from one generation to the next like an olympic torch. --post #02503301 |
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the thread is so big that i'm reposting stuff i posted pages and pages ago because otherwise no one will be able to find it. heck, i had trouble finding it... and now it's getting worse, with copies of bits of itself filling it up further in a computationaly explosive attempt to reference itself in order to explain itself further |
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You are not yourself because you have not created yourself. You are an effect of something else, and that cause is who is you, while you yourself are just a shadow/ghost/after-image of that process. You don't exist and you don't read this sentence. .uoY anyways, back to this. it could be considered true in a literal sense as per extending the stopped clock illusion to the rest of conscious awareness. then there's a whole thing about the subconscious mind being a mirror. i've reflected on that one for a while now "you" is also a second person pronoun in english. du hast |
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this thread is for xltronic as botox is for a woman's face |
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it's been a while since i've written about driving. i do a lot of it. driving, i mean, but writing too long highway drives have certain concerns, amongst them "where is the right exit?" i figure most people have wandered off into thought after an hour or so, and this where missing your exit can occur. i dislike missing exits, so i set up some neural pathways to avoid this scenario. first step: what's the exit number? 8, ok. next, how many miles is it? 58, ok. i then look at my car odometer and do the arithmatic to determine what the odometer reading will be when i am in the process of (not) missing my exit. the digits sum up to 100, yes, that's a very easy number for me to remember, i think as i drive, early stage, about twice, i flick open my phone and double-check my math. i'm sure it's right, but going over it a couple more times sets up redundant pathways. i occasionally glance down at the odometer and eyeball about how many more miles i have remaining, setting pathways for the same goal, in reverse. when i get to the proper point, my brain explodes. i've been over exit 8, odometer reading LSD 100, six ways ten different times and there is no way i am missing it, no matter how lost in thot i am. i've drawn a repeated circle of intent around this situation and the way the brain works is stuff bubbles up when it's relevent |
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with radio, all the stations are floating through the air at once, but you only listen to one at a time. you select a precise frequency and amplify it... listening to music, i'll do the same sort of thing with my focus. i'll decide the bassline sounds interesting (or whatever) and focus my ears on the bassline. then perhaps i'll zoom out a bit and listen to how the snare drum and the bassline relate to each other... it's fascinating to me how many different ways you can hear the same song... keep coming back to it and hear it a different way... sometimes even spot a noise i never noticed in a song i've been listening to for years. the first few listens are a particularly interesting thing. this is when you're most in the hands of the composer, letting them drag your focus around where they please. it's only later, once you know the track, that you start to listen past the velvet ropes. |
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i've been working on a very dense jungle musics, recently, and this (context: above post) has all become frustratingly relevant. i'm trying to cram a ridiculous number of events into a sonic meltdown at the end, and it's driving me bonanonkers. i sit down at the start of the day, play it back, and say: great! what a rush! but it sounds a bit muddy, here... i promptly start tinkering with it. fail hard. it's so complicated! i can't even tell which sample is doing what. i'm just ruining it. twenty minutes of fiddling; playing the same little bit over and over. eventually, somehow, i can actually hear the individual sounds, and some progress is made. ...or is it? i don't know. i've been working on the same five seconds of music for forty minutes. i play it back and find i've made a very nice sounding bit that sticks out like a sore thumb. drat and here is the nub of the issue: when i'm doing those micro-edits, i have no conception of how they'll sound in the flow of the song. when i'm focused on the flow of the song, the micro-edits go to goulash. consequently, i spend a large amount of time listening to completed sections of the track simply so i can hear if the uncompleted sections work or not. i've actually gotten very good at judging how far back i need to go to reset my ear, and as such, i can watch it get worse over the course of a few hours. at a certain point, i simply cannot hear the global flow anymore. i often think the track is a horrid mess. then, i wake up the next morning, with fresh ears, and find that purgatory of hex goulash last night actually resulted in some pretty decent work. i say: great! what a rush! but it sounds a bit muddy, here... halp. |
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there are momentary triumphs. stuck, frustrated, i go outside to smoke a zigguraut. halfway through, an idea comes to me: i need to go change this one single note in this one part from a C to a D# and it will be owsum and i don't even finish the smoke i run inside, upstairs, to change this single note, and it is exactly what i wanted. if only it actually solved the issue that got me to go outside for a smoke too related: the moment back in 2014: lying in bed at 2am, unable to sleep. convinced -- convinced -- i've forgotten a single semi-colon in my PHP code. "this is stupid," i think. "i can't sleep because i'm worried about a single semi-colon. stupid as it is, though, i'd better go check on it, because i won't be able to sleep until i do." i checked it. i had forgotten a single semi-colon. i fixed it. if i hadn't fixed it things would have been broken when people got to the office in the morning this is why i am a good computer programmer, and also why music can destroy my life (because i lose the ability to do anything else [including sleep] once i get deep enough into either) |
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bullshit, you are a good programmer and a mediocre music maker (up to date) |
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thats why you are here, because you didnt find self affirmation over at watmm with your nutty site and your 64 albums, and you have just begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the latest shit you posted here. because of xltronic. |
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trolololll |
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wouldnt that be great? ....whatever |
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watmm was great for the phase of my life when i never left the house; smoked synthesizers and played weed all day anyways, can't remember how many times i've said this, but: i like writing stuff. most people like xbox or something instead; i figure i'm doing alright with this stuff really. you can read it or not. replies are nice, but i have zero expectation of anything... except, of course, some italian guy who works in a call center or something taking out his personal frustrations with life out on me. presumably because i seem somewhat satisfied with what i do, something you've probably never felt |
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booo hooo... im crying.. haha... fuck off |
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sounds like mixed mania. you should get that looked at |
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is your mum available? |
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how come many americans are not fond of mo? but elusive threats mo good |
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recycle threats mo good |
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00:25 ~ setting the channel volume at 30 vs. 35 has a noticible impact on The Funk and that i have to go back a minute or two in order to hear this minute dynamics tidbit strikes me as somewhat insane, but i do it anyways. it simply has to be done |
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35 won, btw. |
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in order to hear this minute dynamics tidbit ...in the right context |
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i mean, i guess it's not too absurd, in a different context. it's the start of a new phase of the track, and i am stressing over the volume of the 303 bassline. i don't want to tip my hand on the jungle pad melody early, as i have "the drop" already programmed ahead. the 303 bassline hides under the jungle pad melody, so i can't use too much of it before "the drop." yet, the space feels too sparse. it needs a bit ~more bassline.~ i throw on some more bassline. it sounds good, but it's too much. it robs "the" jungle pad melody "drop" of its punch. i prune some bassline. i prune some more bassline i am left with two single notes of ~more bassline~. it seems about right... but, i am not sure. i leave the track alone for a couple days. ok, no, that's still too much bassline. i delete the second note. play the whole song back. no, still too much. shorten the release. still too much. needs to be quieter... ...oh, no, that's too quiet. little louder.... oh, no, a little more louder... ok, yes, that's good. there are other things like this going on all over the track. welcome to my self-made purgatory |
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i really love driving. i'm about , musically. going over 50, smoking a cigarette with one hand, and i think: i want to do this next part like the way beams of sunlight gradually fade when going through a shade or something being gently moved by the wind. i'm coming out of a right bank, uphill, and there's an upcoming left bank, as it shifts down. i'm going to hang it wide left, then, at a particular angle, switch right with a sort of logarithmic envelope, then let it go wide; correct in a slow motion. when you switch from a left bank to a right bank, the car's suspension will lag. there are similar things going on as you switch from up to downhill. if i had to describe the motion in a more technical sense, it's like three wireframe rectangles sliding over each other in a particular motion, at least from side-to-side. adding the third dimension to the description would take a lot of mulling; i'm not even sure cubes would cut it of course, i'm not thinking about any of this. the music is just reminding me of those motions, and as i'm focusing on them, from somewhere, i just know how to get that out of the car. a lot of it is practice. that i drive this route all the time; have all the potholes memorized. early sunday afternoon and no one else on the road. i felt a bit foggy and crabby when i went out, but now i feel fired up. driving really gets the best out of me. it is essential to my mental well-being |
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That’s incredible, EpicMegatrax! |
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can someone write an opening song for epicmegatrax writes more bullshit like mr. rogers |
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less incredible was, on the way home from doing some adult nonsense i didn't want to, but did (flawlessly!), i'm in traffic. driving rather boring; nothing of note. then i hear bzzzzz! i'm looking around for the motorcycle, when i realize... shit, that's me, isn't it. oh well. in the name of positivity - it didn't die, i didn't need a tow, i didn't get hurt, there's not even loss of power. i could probably just keep driving it if it weren't so loud i'm worried about getting pulled over - it had the decency to ruin a boring moment instead of a good one - i got my errands done first but now i have to find a proper garage since the old-skool one the burb used to flock to is no longer a thing. probably schedule time off work, because i'll be crazy without my car by mid-week |
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90% it's the pipe that connects the muffler to the front of the car. it's rusted out and blew a hole. is that the, er... b-pipe? i think? i know lots more about driving cars than car internals. for the latter, just a vague overview; i've learned to not let myself diagnose them too far because i always go into some hypochardriac tangent |
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i also need new brakes, and the tire pressure sensor has been throwing an indicator light for weeks. apparently, it's just the stupid sensor in the back left wheel, and not actually any sort of functional problem, but i suspect it might fail me on inspection in a few months it's starting to get tempting to get a new car. i got this old shitbucket as a temporary measure anyways, when i was out of work and some hair lady changed lanes without looking into my much nicer car i figure if i have to put more than $3k into it to fix these problems, and the exhaust, then perhaps this is the moment |
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Does your condition have a name? |
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EpicMegatisis |
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or a slow r&b song maybe like epicmegatrax writes more bullshit baby, oh yeah anytime you feel like reading more bullshit baby, oh yeah... |
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it needs a good funky bassline and a saxaphone solo |
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