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EpicMegatrax writes more bullshit

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-06 11:14 [#02634626]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

that i'm not even sure what the full interreddit bayesianism
thing is, nor do i actually want to. it's very clearly some
nice but misguided gentleman iterating up a networked
quantum fundament they all share together. sometimes. i bet
the banhammer has mental health issues there some days

i started from, really: "i want to write stupid stuff on my
website" and also, from that r. a. wilson book, was
automatic writing, but then i actually already knew of this
and that was finally enough to...

switch off my brain and PORNTIPSGUIZZARDO and there you go.
that's just what came out and i didn't pick that and it's a
simcity 2000 cheat code. i can tell you reasons that were
involved in why it got chosen but i'm ultimately rather
vague on the matter. and i could root into it and figure it
out but i will learn nothing from this so [plays noise SC2K
makes when you try this cheat code on the windows version
where it doesn't work]

and i'm writing stuff like this for ages, years. then i
start to, like "oh right, fuzzy logic with wilson" and "well
this feels 0.7"

and these guesses were crap at first and a lot still are.
but after enough "was i right? why?" or "how did i screw it
up that time" the picks are becoming more specific and
almost useful. that i've worked through this bootstrap
process with any number of... brain things... and alright,
we've made first contact, it sort of works. sort of

and now it's up to "it works alright" and i use this only in
conjunction with thinking things through like a normal
human. really? it helps a shit-ton when i'm stuck on
something, most big ups there

but i stick to, like... 0.2, 0.5. that these are really just
nerd notation for 0-100% i guess and it's rare we even get
15% it's just like 10 50 70 80 etc

she is a good tinkertoy and will keep develop. but it's just
a very good guessing machine and not some mainline into
life's secrets


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-08 11:20 [#02634673]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634617

but i click in when it gets interesting

it did. but first:

magic the gathering, casual as one can be casual with
such a thing and still consider themselves a member.

i would like to formally withdraw this. when it comes to
M:TG i am a diletante that succeds by leaning on theory --
unless someone is actually good.

In NIN - Starfuckers, Reznor momentarily stops his brutal
industrial electronic track to break into "You're So Vain"
by Carly Simon. To mean, this is the most succinct way to
separate out someone who knows music theory... from a

Music theory doesn't teach you how to do this. Schools also,
however, require praxis, and -- no, practice alone doesn't
do it either, even though you won't get anywhere without it.
Practice is also about understanding your mistakes... and a

played some Magic:The Gathering this weekend. First off, it
seems i'm a fossil time-warp microwaved back from fifth or
sixth edition MTG. What's a legendary card? "Commander?"
Slow down

...we do a draft.

the functional description on one card is so complex they've
had to cut multiple corners to make it even fit on there,
"At the the beginning of your end, take the top card..."

...and with annoying questions, I manage to understand the
card in, I dunno, two minutes. However, in the time it took
me to decode the card, he's through over a dozen of them.
some even more complex.

and i dfhjgkdfhkjg, "Augh, I don't have the vocabulary you

[I can handle these concepts, but I'm learning some of this
shit on the fly when you've seen it all many times before]
[How can I build decks if I don't undertand] and then
[If you know hundreds of cards you can DJ them from memory]
[I have to hunt through the crate for ages like a blind
autistic mole] and [I still won't pick like you]

...but the Reznor/Simon thing. That nails it. MTG, I know
the theory, but I'm not a musician


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 03:14 [#02634756]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

he asked me, like: "should i bring over some magic cards?"
and i say: "ohhh nahh i have plenty -- but maybe tarot

and the answer was something like: "ohhh nooo i only have
[incredibly specific tarot thing?] unpacked i'll just bring
some cards" and then his backpack is very heavy after the
train and i offer to trade for my empty backpack and he
refuses. sometimes you simply have to someone be themself.
he's a good man

but i do have cards. my cards, then the cards at least three
people have been all "oh here i'm never doing this no more"
including my sister.

...anyways, i never use blue cards, because i've had trouble
fathoming how to make a blue deck work because... alright,
so when can i play this, um... instant, and... he's off on a
firehose of... i meant this to be a simple functional
question with an answer only slightly more complex than yes
or no, and wat, halp, i'm drowning. i then point out this,
and the firehose reboots and blasts again. then i try to
explain, like, the thing i was saying about chess and
communication and always feeling like i'm on a 56k modem?
you're having the same problem right now, can't you see?

no. i'm being negative. what. no, i meant... and, ok, back
to normal -- me having this problem.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 03:24 [#02634757]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

...anyways, i do have cards. my cards, then the cards at
least three people have been all "oh here i'm never doing
this no more" including my sister.

so then i'd break down the cards by color and split off the
mana and into the box. but entire decks go into the box at
once, if they're single color. unshuffled. perhaps even
stacked in the order representing the state of the last game
played, sans lands.

...but i never use blue cards, because i've had trouble
fathoming how the fuck this shit. so all the unwanted blue
cards went into this section as, sometimes, entire decks

...and what if that could be like.. to anyone else, it would
be useless noise. but in the context of me pulling it out
and being in a game with these cards that... even the
pictures bring back a little. and, yes, i think she played a
blue deck by the TV in one of those borrowed relative house
situations in vermont.

this is my brain saying "...mmm, yes, you asked if i could
use this little scrap of organized information from the past
to dredge up something specific? well, here is the strongest
result i have" and it's that. and i think it is probably
right; it's uncanny like that. and it's simply because i
asked for it; i did not have to do anything -- all the
hindbrain's diligent work. however, it's a guess -- it could
be completely wrong.

i am not interested in figuring out whether or not it's
correct. i'm trying to understand how i got a result that
solid at all [without having to sit there and try and fish
it out; think about it].

it's good enough, actually, that... my gosh, i'm asking
myself nosebleed nerd questions about combinatorics and i'm
seeing it as... not quite a visualization, and... yes, i
see. then i back off, and... that was not quite math? i
don't fully understand why that would be correct? so it sit
there and work it out on paper and it is. badass


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 03:34 [#02634758]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

...but i never use blue cards, because i've had trouble
fathoming how the fuck this shit. so all the unwanted blue
cards went into this section as, sometimes, entire decks.
unshuffled. perhaps evenstacked in the order representing
the state of the last game played, sans lands.

the result my brain gave me -- "yes, i think she played a
blue deck by the TV in one of those borrowed relative house
situations in vermont" -- is really about, like -- yes, she
played a blue deck. yes, it's possible it could have gone
into the box unsorted and remained that way for, honestly,
20 years. but it's had a lot of chances to get de-shuffled,
and this is just about "well it could be this [memory still
frame comes up on slide projector]" and it's because yes,
she did play a blue deck [70% sure] in that location [50%
sure] and it could be a strange informational time capsule
in that box [???% i do not even try, i know better]

next day, like: fuck, shit. PISS. neal stephenson has
cleaned my clock again. he had this too. the card game in
cryptonomicon. the keystream. that's catchy; i might use

but he built a blue deck out of my blue cards. and now that
i know how counterspells work, i've shuffled them all. how
fascinating! it's an informational time warp! [shuffles
cards nonchalantly]

who has time for such things, really? i want to prove a
point we were arguing over -- that, fuck, i should have bet
-- about larger decks. i want to make a goofy fat 100 card
blue deck. it could be good a deck, even. but more likely:
it will be legal, serviceable, and bizarre [like me]. the
point here is to take something that, surface level, seems
like the opposite of a good strategy, that in fact this
should be a complete train wreck, and then it isn't, and
halp, what have you done to reality

but i'll never get him that card... er, hard. he went off on
his own tangent about some red cards. he's way better at
this than me. yet he still doesn't believe me


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 03:46 [#02634759]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

today, i thought... "oh, i'm smarter than all of them put
together. or a few of them put together. or... well, how
many precisely?"

and on the automatic writing of unfiltered, conscious, best
guesses from the hindbrain to the forebrain... tip... i get
an answer: 2.4

this was a lol. before i can go any further up my own butt
with this: "could five of them together figure it out?

2.4, yessir. before i was about to continue on to thinking
it through myself. this absurd, stupid giggle of a somewhat
vain train of thought. when i say i am smarter than all of
them -- well, honestly, that's not much of an
accomplishment. they're miserable robots. and... all of
them? hmmmm...

this answer, honestly... my immediate reaction was: "that

i'd been feeling it'd be more three or four, really. but i
suppose i was being a bit vain

this is a perfect example of where "baysianism" or
fuzzy-logic thinking automatic whatnot.... what's most
impressive is that you always get an answer. a best guess.
it can even be uncanny

but then, in the context of my mind wandering yoga --
apparently i am as smart as 2.4 of these people at once.

what shit. lol


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 03:49 [#02634760]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

but i suppose key is that i didn't mean to request a quote,
i was sent back 2.4 like an involuntary reflex, and the
number then kind of made me raise an eyebrow -- because i
was figuring three or four perhaps. and lol. guess i'm not
that smart

i love this thing to death. it's my buddy. but, lovely as it
is, well, it would certainly try to win the lottery for
me... but we'd both lose


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 03:55 [#02634761]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

but i click in when it gets interesting

it did. but i'm keeping those cards to myself


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 04:22 [#02634764]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

so we compare that guess (2.4) and... it could mean other
things than numbers, really. that i'm equivalent 2 four. or
that it's about reflecting people off of each other and
there's some sort of doubling involved

this is different than the game of giving things
probabilities. there, it's more a useful thing. a proper
guesser. if i've spent time assigning probabilities to a
particular category of thing, and analyzing why i was
right/wrong. a feedback loop to calibrate it from a flappy
noisy ungrounded thing to a thing that does a reasonable job
of approximating something in reality.

similar to how someone's name will pop into your head. and,
you haven't seen of them in perhaps ten years? but unless
you've sat there and worked out the calendar math, boom,
you've just done the baysianism crap yourself. because you
saying "oh, jeez, it's been at least ten years" -- well, if
it were as large as twenty, you'd say twenty. if it were
last year you'd think last year. i figure everyone does
this, yes?

...but it makes the point well. you could sit there and
stress over and nail down how many years, precisely... but
you already have a machine of sorts in there, that works
well enough few people even notice. or think about tuning

...but then maybe 2.4 means "i'm equivalent to 2.4" or "i'm
equivalent 2 four" or "i'm equivalent to 2-4" or back to
it's a floating point variable?

so even the numbers, like... aren't precisely those. more
the tip of an iceberg

anyways, i was asking myself questions about probabilities
in a game of magic: the gathering. and i got something that
felt like a visualization, but then i realize it isn't, and
i've lost it, but i know the answer... ? and work it out,
it's correct.

this has happened to me a few times before. it actually
feels more like this thing's native tongue. but i have to
get it to happen a few more times before... well, i can
deliberately get it to happen at all. and, yes, any


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 04:35 [#02634765]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

try to think of the logistics eminem has to deal with as a
rap god. as shown in the video, he is hooked up to a
gigantic robot library pulling references. to feed what
condenses into flow.

does eminem spend time considering where all this stuff
comes from fuck no. there's no time for that.

the robot pulls what he needs and out comes a fragment of
chubb rock or something.

ask him about this fragment later, he might say a whole
range of things: "that's chubb rock, of course." but maybe
it's foggier and he says "hmmm, ummm... ohhhh, that's chubb
rock" or if a rap god could be so troubled by such matters,
he'd finally crack it three days later, in the shower
"ohhhhh, hey! so that's where that was from" and text it to
you over fone

so rewriting stuff. being prompted and prodded. the robot is
just pulling things off the shelf for me. it wasn't designed
for me to fight upstream like this.

but i'm trying to improve flow rate


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 05:12 [#02634766]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634764

i'm off for some yoga after the previous few posts. and i
get to this bit

so even the numbers, like... aren't precisely those. more
the tip of an iceberg

so even the numbers aren't real. they're not... real

this sounds like a solid hint of some sort. but maybe that
sounds irrational to you. i*(dgaf)


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 09:33 [#02634780]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

magic: the gathering cont'd

the functional description on one card is so complex
they've had to cut multiple corners to make it even fit on
there, "At the the beginning of your end, take the top
card..." etc

...and with annoying questions, I manage to understand the
card in, I dunno, two minutes. However, in the time it took
me to decode the card, he's through over a dozen of them.
some even more complex.

most of them aren't this bad, but it's far from rare. and
there's new lingo. and he's hardcore The Rules and i've no
problem with that here except it gets into rules i didn't
know about, rules i never understood, and rules that didn't
exist for concepts that didn't exist...

and my primary challenge, really, is not driving him mad
waiting. this was round two, the draft. the first one, he's
rapidly building a blue deck and hey wait! but he was right,
it was faster for me to simply see it in action.

even though i didn't see that yet, i shrugged and began
updating the only serviceable deck i had, thinking: "i
cannot remember the last time i even used this, but i am
still screamingly annoyed by very specific problems i
remember this having"

but then i have to be quick. and i could be slow. and we'd
just had lots of talk about the strategic advantage of
smaller decks and i get fucking deep up my own butt
calculating odds. and i could be slow

oh, fuck it. lol whatever. i'm just throwing a shit-ton of
cards in and lol. i think my idea can work. and i win 2/3
with this, i dunno, 80-something card red deck

but this was a pre-baked thing i fully understood and was
updating, against something he just threw together with some
of my cards


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 09:39 [#02634781]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

doing a draft, this is a problem, though. because remember

"the functional description on one card is so complex
they've had to cut multiple corners to make it even fit on

and in a draft, you open two card packs. you take a card and
pass it to the other person. who has taken a card from the
other pack, and passes it to you. and on you go, until their
are none left. like how people pick teams in sports

this is part of the depth of it all, really. not just are
the cards complex like that, but now you're expected to
build a deck from a bunch of random cards, where you're
passing it back and forth, picking the cards in turn. like
teams in sports

like teams in sports, that's obviously quite a strategic
thing. that you're not just trying to gank the best cards
first, you're trying to develop a strategy out of what
you're seeing is available... and trying to clock what your
opponent's strategy might be by what cards go missing... and
obviously trying to cockblock them in any way possible

and how the fuck. can i keep up with this?


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 09:55 [#02634782]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i conclude the only way i can pick cards at a rate fast
enough to not drive my friend insane is: pick cards
without bothering to try and understand what they are and
what they do.

...and, actually? fuck yes, this is me

alright. first, i am grabbing any SHINY card. they're called
"foil" cards, but i've banned myself from thinking that
much. SHINY. ...and FIRST CARD IN PACK. IS SHINY. grab

the shiny card is the first in the pack, reducing the amount
of time it takes me to pick a card even further. brill!

what next? it's just a continued collage of "whatever
strikes my fancy" and mmm, well, some of the card art is
kind of hot, so many were chosen because i appreciated the
picture. others because a word in the title of the card. the
only hint of strategy, i lean towards certain colors more
than others

then we're down to the last five or six, and i begin to
finally process the card... casting costs, even. and one is
like "11 mana to cast" and fuck off, i won't last long
enough to use this. then it comes back, twice, and my
options are boring, so i laugh and think "lol, well, if it
does go that far, this card could mean the difference"
between winning and losing. so grab

from an external view, i'm picking cards about the same pace
as him, and there's no real hint i'm doing anything
abnormal. i ignore his advice on sorting the cards and
picking and he doesn't notice

then, yes -- i almost. won. and the last fucking card in my
hand? the 11 mana, 9/9 game winner. and if i could have
lasted one. more. turn... maybe two... i would have won.

then he's talking about "my strategy" and saying here's your
card back and... this is my card? and "yeah, when i saw that
i knew your strategy was..."

he'd used some card that lets you gank a card off your
opponent and didn't get to see what card he ganked. so when
he played it, i didn't actually know it was my card.
meanwhile, he didn't know strategy was sheer impulsiveness


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 09:58 [#02634783]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

that was picking magic cards with magick, yep. that i did so
stunningly well that way he thought i had some strategy
that... i still do not understand, actually. but he won
because he actually knew what he was doing and that
will, ultimately, always triumph. but i can come close


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 10:15 [#02634784]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

man(a). that's probably already difficult to get through. i
think i'll just stow the rest

suffice to say i got a surprisingly massive amount out of
that sesh

this is why you need to actually try ideas out regularly.
[rather than endlessly tinker within a thread of bullshit]

it's also shaping up like i should ban myself from writing
about proper math here unless i'm totally cornered

because i'm bad enough already....
and, without being able to use math notation
or knowing how much i can presume someone knows...
gosh, yes, that's even more of mess than usual

it is quite usual for me to think, "oh, that's shit" and
delete a large chunk of something i've just written. but
there's a large probability that if i try to write about
probability, it will probably be shit. if i write it,


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 10:50 [#02634787]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634782

thinking stuff is easy. thinking about stuff is much harder.
writing about stuff is even harder than that. then, as worse
as writing about thinking about stuff is, writing about
thinking about writing about stuff is worse. er. WORST?
worstest. wat

so when he played it, i didn't actually know it was my
meanwhile, he didn't know strategy was sheer

or, well, that was the nexus of it, but at this point, my
impulsiveness has actually become [able to be used as] a
more fluid and continuous thing, like the way you process
events when you're driving a car.

and i'm not even sticking to my own strategies completely,
as described. that i begin thinking "maybe you could even
read something about someone's strategy simply from them
switching two cards around before picking some other card."

sounds good. i impulsively swapped two cards.

a bit later: i think i'll cut it a third in.
this time, there really wasn't anything behind it other
than... that feels good. proportionate

in between i spend some idle moments watch him finger the
cards around. but i don't consciously extract anything

then we get down to that 11pt, 9/9 behemouth and i think
"fuck off, the game probably won't last that long" and then
it's here again and "well, you know what? if the game does
go that long, this will matter" and grab.

roughly, i get the sense -- a strong hunch; nothing more
concrete -- that these were actually has thoughts i had.
he'd rejected that card because he didn't think that long.
but maybe it will, and if it does, that matters. and you can
see how that would come in through the card order, seeing
him fussing around out of the corner of my eye. and then
come back out as "oh, that feels about right"

i should note i was not trying to do anything other than
keep my friend/opponent from dying of old age as i fussed
over cards.

i suppose i had some hope it'd do something like that. but i
didn't think about it


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 10:53 [#02634788]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

if i ever make some scary spooky uncanny pick, like -- the
bloody hell did he learn that from? who the fuck told him?

or the more usual "i can't tell if he knows anything or not.
was that a deliberate reference? how would he even know that
anyways?! but fuck me this is the fifth time now"

well, previous post, that's about the formula


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 11:14 [#02634789]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

seems reasonable that, by, i dunno, being like water, as
bruce lee would put it... i became a mirror. he was thinking
properly about his picks. he was thinking about me thinking
properly about my picks.

then we're a few rounds in and he's decided i have a
strategy. it is, in fact, actually his strategy, since i'm
just being a mirror.

then i clicked back in when it got interesting. then i
stopped being a mirror. and over two rounds i've made a
decision for myself and ganked that card. which probably was
the pick he wanted for himself next round. DARN!

it's all theoretical, really. but now i have the opportunity
to think this: wellll, if it is working like that... can i
ever beat him? because, having both, he'll always have the
best one first?

and yes, it did come down to one or two turns. and that
being the last card. and he's almost dead himself

so, tactics! is there a way to hack the mirror and nick even
more off of a clever opponent, who is projecting cleverness
onto my vapid childish puckish daydreaming space cadet

probably need to do something other than then be a mere/or
satellite dish


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-11 11:14 [#02634790]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

M:TG is turning complete?
they're not bullshitting at all.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 03:25 [#02634832]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

deep in the earlier pages of this thred, i once joked,
"driving while weird is a pull-overable offense." the
faders-to-the-red example is driving a hippie art car with
thousands of strange greebles glued to its exterior; a
rolling art piece. every time i see one of these going down
the road, i think: you must be really cool with getting
pulled over by bored cops all the time. the only more
surefire way to get pulled over is to have one of your
tail-lights out [so if it's a bad night to get pulled over,
and your tail-light is out, don't. fucking. drive]

[[ tangent: bored cops will bully some hippie basehead
(wearing loud american flag regalia {adjusting his and/or
her gear on a traffic island}) because this person is loud
and obvious and cops look for anything out of place and
harass it out of their sight; arrest it if it won't leave --
especially if they're bored ]]

i think i described getting my first [and so far, only]
"move along" from a cop in this thread as well. i'd pulled
over in some country club parking lot to fuss with my music
playlist. but it's a country club at 1am and the cop car
actually emerged into this lot from somewhere deeper inside
the complex. i gather he was more or less a security guard!
because... nevermind

i've never quite gotten pulled over for being weird in and
of itself, but, yes, so many times -- a bored cop sees me
and starts hovering on my bumper because he's bored and he
can tell i'm at least a little weird. but then my tail light
isn't out and my driving is fine and eventually this boring
outlasts the weird and the cop pulls his last card. turns on
the flashers. i change lanes out of his way [and/or pull
aside] and he roars past. he has no reason for the lights
other than it's the last thing he can do to shake loose any
sort of illegal behavior that might be going on. but i
appreciate being able to call 911 if i have to and i just


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 03:43 [#02634833]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

man. do they have, like... a unit on boredom at the cop
academy? or a whole class?

rather, how to handle boredom. to sit in a speed trap
by the side of the road and wait. and wait. and maybe no one
goes by for 45 minutes, and then they're a grandma 10 under
the limit. human personality has a range of tolerance for
this sort of thing [that varies from person to person]
before the mind will literally hallucinate something wrong
with some car, any car because fucking hell we've
been here two hours now

i think back to one of my dad's better yarns -- a cop rang
the doorbell of a place his place [in the 70s] with this
tale about... dad's roommate selling drugs, his other
roommate a prostitute, and my dad is the pimp. or

the woman roommate had a hippie art car. the bored cop had
followed it home. eventually the household collectively
realized what the cop really wanted was a date with the
hippie chick owner of the art car. to defuse the situation,
she went on one polite date with the cop. that was it and no
one got arrested. but that's what an art car gets you

...and the crazy story he'd come up with, my dad called that
"cop logic" -- when a cop comes up to you thinking you're
doing... what the shit?! that's bizarre. are you joking?

and the cop is not joking. the cop is just human, and he's
been sitting there watching the same patch of road for two
hours, and his mind has created something interesting for
him to do out of sheer desperation they have a whole class on how to handle that? i'm not
stakeout material myself


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 03:56 [#02634834]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

Hallucinating Illegal Behavior

it's not only a good album title, it's the future of AI


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 05:36 [#02634835]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634459

what's brilliant about being... i dunno, not a crackpot, or
a kook, but -- flattering myself -- [[that guy that lived
with his mum and cracked some insane planar geography or
topography problem out of nowhere and they show up with a
giant check, here is an award from math!! and he promptly
tells them to fuck off and slams the door]]

is that i'm not sitting in one corner of anything, obligated
to pin something down with proof. inside my hed, meditation
-- if it works, it works. if it doesn't, it doesn't. i'm
always trawling for new things to try, to see if they work.
since i don't have to prove shit and it either works or it
don't, i can run with theories that are cobbled together

[to arrive at a thermodynamic definition of metaphor, you
need to phrase it in terms of lambda calculus, tiered
hierarchical caching through astrocytes and other glia, my
brain is a quantum computer made of meat, etc]

and either it's going somewhere or it isn't. so in that
spirit ~

Destruction of Brodmann area 34 results in ipsilateral
Loss of the ability to smell may lead to the loss of libido,
but this usually does not apply to those with olfactory
dysfunction at birth.

that smell brings back memory like crazy, right? but if
you've been smell-blind since birth, your memory will be
based on [this, that, maybe all at once] instead of smell.

the loss of libido is because you've been basing memories on
smell since birth, sex is inherently chemical, and we're all
imprinted like the lorenz ducks. and you've lost your
connection to your sexual imprinting. i've never tried E but
i imagine that'd be the right tool to reboot things

anyways, all my previous talk about what's the index of
actually, well, i think it's metaphor. location?
that's still a metaphor of sorts. that weird visual i got
while stewing on combinatorics? that's the guts of a
metaphor. or so i suspect. still haven't seen it again since


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 05:55 [#02634836]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

what is the neurological basis [definition?] of a metaphor?

i mean, i now have my engineering definition of
consciousness [serpentine belt in an automobile], my
physical definition of (human) consciousness [a quantum
computer made of meat on top of a neural primate brain {on
top of lizard brain blood flow direction}] and an actively
gestating mathematical definition [TLDR]. still not even
touching the philosophical definition, but i've gotten this

and... i have the neurological basis for "if you have to ask
if it's racist, it probably is" roughly. and things like

but neurological basis of metaphor? that's just... so
software and hardware all at once. so basic, but so
everywhere. that it's a stone you hit early on the path and
i've been jumping over it for so long it really didn't

because, i dunno, maybe that's the within the bailiwick
quantum matrix?

answer, i suspect, is: "sort of, yes, both, etc"

that the quantum matrix is there to analyze and optimize the
mammal brain, and yes, i suspect metaphor is the grammar
used for this dialogue

but this is not a fully-formed theory yet


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 06:20 [#02634837]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

MRIs don't read neurons. did you think all these science
studies about brain scans in humans were scanning neurons?
ha! you have to take a rat brain half apart and keep it
alive in a cage, hooked up to apparati to read even a bit of
actual neural fire

MRIs read blood flow. neural fire pushing 10ms, maybe 5
[milleseconds] and blood flow takes hundreds of

that my tiered astrocyte caching thing, that's actually the
lizard brain [blood flow as a decision process].

but the lizard brain does form the basis of the mammal brain
[neural fire to direct blood flow].

so if you read [lizard brain / blood flow], you get the
"average" of the mammal brain. mathematically, it's more
like [perhaps even somewhat literally] the [calculus]
derivative of the neural mammal brain

and an MRI reads this. chunkily. it uses a statistical
sampling algorithm to generate a 3D image [voxels] and a few
years back science realized someone got their math wrong,
the algorithm is wrong, we have to go back and re-do all
these brain scan science studies because it got the voxels
30% wrong

and that's reading blood flow, which is, like, the layer
below the mammal brain. atop which sits the quantum matrix

eat my dust MRI


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 06:25 [#02634838]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

5ms. the tubules something something quantum 5ms and stable
and that's within a dog whisker of eminently usable as the
physical basis of the quantum matrix. this was a computer
simulation, though...

i need to look that up again. along with, like... oh, shit,
you know what? i never checked how much penrose had here,

my quantum computer made of meat churns the CAM and, yes:

it was a handout in a low-level class in AI by a hilarious
little man [dana ballard] with the messiest OSX desktop i'd
ever seen. and here's the penrose, quantum, etc. and that
was a lecture and some homework. then, from there, i dunno,
i've just kept tabs on it? and that simulation, 5ms, need to
look that up.

if penrose has already invented, and i've reinvented...
some... good sign. following in the footsteps. if he's
gotten it all already -- well, fuck, bugger -- but at least
i'm catching up


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 06:38 [#02634839]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

Ballard (2015). Brain Computation as Hierarchical
Abstraction. Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press.

....holy, wow. he died in 2022. i could have sent him
this thread.
and that's a beautiful thought, because
he's arguably to blame for it on many levels [CAM!]. but now
it's too late, by two years, and that's actually rather

i should check out his final book, here, to see how much
i've re-invented. again. but also because he'll be funny in
there somehow. a tiger can't change its stripes


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-13 06:40 [#02634840]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular


thanks for... penrose, CAM, neural oddities like the vision
mask that makes your field of view upside down, the optic
nerve compressing data before it runs into the brain, and...
could go on.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-15 04:45 [#02634887]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i think i've actually had a useful thot about chess. when it
comes to "how good am i?" the answer is: an even vaguely pro
chess player would utterly destroy me, thanks. but against
anyone in my usual life -- not hardcore players -- i usually

chess is all too often viewed as this computer simulation
thing. the poker aspect is disrespected. playing the man
across from you. in the opening stages, first moves, it's a
lot of noise. there's a lot of rote mechanical responses.
nothing has happened yet; so you can't clarify your
strategy. you are, by default, sitting there and waiting for
your opponent to do something... stepping outside of the
rote mechanics of chess opening moves. then the poker sets
in: is this a strategy? is it a ruse? or is it merely a
mechanical pattern i don't know yet? [this is where pro
chess players would ruin me]

so the one strange exception where i could really juke the
odds; punch above my weight -- beat a pro player -- is if
that person was my friend i knew them incredibly well. and
their freaking chess science would fall aside and i'd just
giggle and think "oh, you" and not fall for whatever. and
then they're talking about how i used some [strategy i
cannot comprehend] and they should have seen it or they
would not have lost and... wait, what is that? i was simply
playing you, not the game


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-15 04:51 [#02634888]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

if we could stick a pin in this as a metaphor ~

in life, in a situation where the details are bloody
impossible to untangle, you can always just... fuck it, the
people are simpler than the technical maneuvers. play your
moves from nothing but innocent heart and wait for a rook to
disappear. now you know, somewhat, what you are dealing with


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-15 05:13 [#02634890]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

who are those tiresome cunts who apply to literally hundreds
of software jobs, perhaps using some $50/mo AI service? why
are you doing this? do you give that little of a shit about
what you spend your life on? hell, how do you even get
through the day with yourself? you tiresome. cunts.

i am not someone who has the patience for this shit. and
software engineering is now like... unless someone parts the
velvet ropes for you, you're stuck in some stupid AI coding
test bullshit and eat shit. no. then even if someone does,
it's eight interviews because you're fine but maybe they can
get someone better, cheaper... if they stall long enough
maybe you'll get more desperate on salary... and eat shit.

so, oh, being a lawyer would be cool? and i go back and
forth. in the end, i think i would be bloody superb at it,
but... it wouldn't fulfill me like all my science nonsense
does. maybe it would be enough, combined with the money...
but then the money, to go to law school, what is that? $360k
or something? i don't know. i'd have to find a good doctor
to sue for malpractice or something otherwise i may never
see that sort of money

and screw it. i'm probably stuck with sucking software. bleh


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-15 05:27 [#02634891]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i have a much more practical life hack: the stool stool

i'd always read something something, humans were designed to
squat 'n' poop, not sit 'n' shit. but then, don't recall
something wherever, i eventually hear, around early last
december: if your knees are below your hips, that totally
closes the passage off. and this does so much to explain,
perhaps, why i finish, and, shit... again?

so i finally grabbed an amazon box and put my feet up on it
as i pooped, and, wow, alright. this shit is no joke. the
box has not left the bathroom, it's been perhaps five months
and i should probably sort out a stool stool that isn't
cardboard shitting by the toilet.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 04:57 [#02634932]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i suppose i can be a bit... tantra yoga ~ tantra yoga,
loom, weave, metaphor, metaphor metaphor, weaving neural
wiring, but they don't know crap about neurons. it's a really best effort from... a medieval
perspective? ok. let's just consume this like i do pie where
i eat the filling and fuck off crust. i never even liked
it... before i found out, do you know how many wicked many
calories are in there? my gosh you dodge half the worst of
pie by leaving it alone, sometimes more [if it's fruity and
not cheesy] and people scream at me, it's the best part! and
it's the worst, in a junk food sense. and i never liked it

then neurology. that's better. i think brodmann areas are,
like, alright, now you're almost as bad as the people
obsessed with conway's life giving ever more esoteric names
to shit that is increasingly... you've stopped researching;
now you're a dungeons and dragons meet

but really, i am just borrow neurology's ferrari. with the
same fuck-the-crust attitude. i sneak out in the middle of
the night and it seems, well, shit, i actually can do
this? and the trouble starts when i've somehow set some mild
course record, and now i might be in trouble because i
wasn't supposed to be in the car in the first place. but i
don't mean to say it's even a good record

it's more -- oh, hell, this is elegant; i've really got
something and... i'm not supposed to have an opinion here?
i'm not allowed, even? that imagine the neighbor is a
neurologist and it's his record you have beat. with crates
of evidence. on camera. you imposter. why did you joyride
the ferarri. and beat my time?

the answer is luck, not giving a fuck [i was never trying to
beat anyone] and freeing myself from the normal daytime


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 05:44 [#02634935]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

wikipedia. people talk about social media addiction, would
it make sense to say i have to ban myself from wikipedia at

no? let's watch some sanctimonious thing about jewish people
stuff by/from michael cera? sure ok. but i'd prefer chess


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 06:10 [#02634936]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i don't have, i guess.... insomnia insomnia. if i say
up for two days i will conk out hard like anyone else.
problem is when i don't; when i try to keep a normal 9-5
schedule. my brain does not want to sleep yet. my brain is
chattering forever. we are chatting forever. we're not
trying to avoid sleep, we're just... shit! again. stop it.

pranayama breathing and exercise helps. alcohol -- like, a
nightcap, no getting smashed -- has really, i dunno, felt
like a net gain?

but then i'm getting older and i really do feel [slightly]
better if i say fuck it entirely. but then sleeping
normal hours

and last night i am in a hypnogogic haze, lost in Cool Band
Names, Cool Gay Band Names, and... nevermind. Cody. that's a
pretty fucking gay name, but how do we make it gay-er? Kody?
sure. Codie? yes but that starts to lose coherency... and,
honestly, i can't fucking remember most of the variations
because i'm not sure they actually made any sense. i was
half falling asleep finally. but somewhere in there, i
think: CHODI! the xltronic guy. he seems really gay. i think
his name might be cody

so this is my "epics simulates an L[ol]LM" update ~ here is
what fragments a distant space probe sent back from the Cool
Band Name generator as it was getting sucked into the event
horizon of sleep

it's cool but i bought some more goon tonight. tired of not
being tired


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 06:35 [#02634937]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

but not even time for that, yet. i'm just amused how... i'm
pretty sure i've written that same hypnagogic up before
here? e.g. that's not the first time i saw the band name
generator fall into the event of sleep horizon same precise
way; similar name arc.

if i am delighted with anything i have trouble explaining,
it's how consistent i am with stuff like this. i'm not
trying at all and some almost asleep moment happens over
again the same way because... well, i just do things quite
consistently and wind up same place sometimes. what's
delightful to me is that... oh, that's charming. i think
that was almost identical. and i was half asleep. very
little i could do to cheat here except on deeper
subconscious levels i don't quite have access to yet


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 06:48 [#02634939]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

too consistent, though? stuck in a loop. no consistency? a
random walk; still surprisingly profitable in a math sense,
but... no, also no good

writing this bullshit seems sort of like a compiler.
rewriting sort of like linking. but this doesn't have to
keep going; i need to stop and fuss about my previous
conclusions for the new ones to gel. then i get disrupted
and where were we? and perhaps i have to a bit again over


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 06:55 [#02634940]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

the practical, though. i tried a curious new angle with...
GPS weasel; will not summarize. beyond: i've tried to use
this to plan a daily agenda. its usual job is to never miss
a turn on a six hour drive when i'm lost in thot, and it
does this OWSUM JOB AMAZING. but trying to program my day
agenda like those highway exits? fits and sparks, but
overall, just... no.

at peaks when i was actually focused on... meditation like
you'd get on a big wave with some fighting video game like
street fighter... i would be able to GPS weasel enough
day-planner stuff that it felt like: OK, this can work, but
it isn't going to be quite the same way

that i use it in limited ways all the damn time: "refill the
water pitcher next time in the kitchen" and i'm holding the
image in my mind firmly and there i am in the kitchen with
this image and refill the pitcher

and this happens fine. generalization, though... i can train
myself to "refill the pitcher every time" but "refill the
pitcher at the optimal time" is something that requires
conscious thought; it depends very much on the circumstances
of the day and the hour. so trying to GPS weasel this turns
around and says: no, this is a new weasel -- refill the
pitcher at the right time weasel.

...and, again, this can be done. the pitcher gets filled at
the right intervals. but only because it's my house and my
pitcher and i don't have roommates fucking with my weird


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 06:58 [#02634941]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

recently, however ~ i was meditating one morning, and i'm
fresh off that whole "entanglement" tip, and i think: i have
a new way to do this, perhaps. that the issue is that "do
the dishes" is this multi-stage thing involving rinsing,
loading, and -- wait, we forgot we need to unload the
already clean dishes. and there it is. we can't just GPS
weasel "do the dishes, laundry, reply to that email" because
we get tangled up in "reply to that email means checking on
that thing first" then "we're thirsty and there are no
glasses and we didn't do the dishes leads to "there's some
clean ones unloaded into the dishwasher"

and this is how i find myself apologizing about how it took
45 minutes to reply to an email because i was thirsty and
the dishwasher was unloaded and

this, alone. can you blame me for be a dedicated
self-hacker? i fucking need it to manage


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-17 07:06 [#02634942]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

so i'm meditating, and, ok, this is the problem -- i'm
trying to automate things that have all these little niggles
i need to solve consciously, and i've not planned for them.
that, in fact, trying to sort them out into a coherent
agenda is even a fucking nightmare because if i take a
shower right after putting on the laundry, the water won't
be hot, but then the dishwasher too, and that takes two
hours, and i'm thirsty, should i run the dishwasher or take
a shower?

and fuck the order. this is the issue. all these things need
to be done. and they are all their own things. so i need to
GPS weasel, like... oh...

and i sit there, meditating, first thing in the morning...
i'm in the kitchen. i'm looking at the stuff needing doing.
i'm seeing: oh, this depends on that first. then i'm in my
office, i'm checking on the thing, oh, it depends on the
other thing. then... etc etc

and rather than try and program it in an order like highway
turns, i just spazzily fly all over my house, my office, my
emails in my head, and think about i need to do, and find
these little sub-tasks

and then i just let my body go and... fuck, this works! that
somehow [continuing the above for sake of example] i have
unloaded the dishwasher before i am thirsty, it's running as
i reply to the email in a timely manner, and by the time
that's in dryer phase i wander off for a shower and that
works fine

and wow! everything is like... THIS IS HOW I HAVE ALWAYS
WANTED IT TO WORK! i feel so functional!

...and then it ran out of road. i had only done this as an
experiment; i started getting into complex tasks i hadn't
prepped in meditation. and i'm getting tangled. and shit
sorry i lost about the email i lost track of time vacuuming

i have been too busy with work n stuff, to try it again,
actually -- but this is how GPS weasel itself started. this
is hard, but it... worked? it fucking worked?

and it'll get easier


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-25 04:11 [#02635050]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02506672

> spheres are nagging at me. feels exactly the same as
the nagging feeling you get when you worry you've left your
car unlocked, and it progresses to the feeling that happens
right as you begin to realize your coffee is absent because
it's on your roof...

“I did my PhD in France on making a spherical
shell swim. To make it swim, we were making it collapse.

It moved like a [inverted] jellyfish,” says Adel
Djellouli, a researcher at Bertoldi Group, Harvard
University, and the lead author of the study. “I told
my boss, 'hey, what if I put this sphere in a syringe and
increase the pressure?' He said it was not an interesting
idea and that this wouldn’t do anything,”
claims. But a few years and a couple of rejections later,
Djellouli met Benjamin Gorissen, a professor of mechanical
engineering at the University of Leuven, Belgium, who shared
his interests. “I could do the experiments, he could do
the simulations, so we thought we could propose something
together,” Djellouli says. Thus, Djellouli’s rubber
sphere finally got into the syringe. And results were quite


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-26 02:19 [#02635066]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

have you ever left the window open when you're asleep, and
then it starts raining, and you have this dream about a
waterpark or getting firehosed or something? but it's just
rain misting in through the window, interpreted through a

it was like that. i was lost in thot, and the waitress was
eyeing me if i'm ready for another pint, and it intrudes
upon me being lost in in thot... precisely like that. and,
no, i'm good for a moment. but was very beautiful to catch
it bleeding through like that; thanks anyways


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-26 02:29 [#02635067]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i mean, that was good shit. good salad for sitting at the
bar with beer and fries

in addition to the above, there was the moment i heard i
heard a louTHONK wat? and i turn around, and vaguely, catch
something that is like... keyword: derp

but it was just some bit of derp i caught out of the corner
of my eye in addition to the sound of what could only be a
125-185lb woman plowing into the door as if it ain't. then i
catch helicopter chatter -- she didn't see it at all -- kept
going -- yep, i caught the aura of drugs, that woman might
well have been tripping balls

then it's a slow night but gradually heating up. the barback
is bored. his buddy has showed up. they might have been as
old as i am; they were talking about slim shady. didn't
look. but they're mostly like... "someone on facebook" then
"like four shots before a red sox game" and i think ~"oh i
guess 'pre-gaming' literally is a sports thing, from getting
wasted before you go to the sporting event -- to get even
more wasted"

and this the sort of bar chatter that's kind of man bites
dog. very yawn. but the woman and the door. i'm glad i
didn't catch much but the sound and then couldn't be arsed
to look any further; just guess based on everyone
chattering. like a bunch of old marketing shits trying to
figure out what the kids like these days


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-04-26 02:45 [#02635069]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02603862

the city was actually quite quiet, carwise... but, prime
parking choice was filled up. i made a snap decision not
planned upon to park illegally a bit of the way down. ran in
with my box and my screwdriver. getting in was no hassle, no
temperature check. but the elevator does not give me a
choice of floor, it takes me to the wrong floor, and all the
doors are locked. i start cursing audibly. then i take the
elevator down to the proper floor, and my key card

i stumbled on this fragment just now. going into my former
9-5 office place to "clear out my stuff" but it's this
post-apocalyptic feeling of, like, "they're all gone now"
and "absolutely no one will give a shit if you utterly rob
the bin of discarded USB dongles like watmm's Fred McGriff
robbing Taco Bell of their fire sass"

to this day i regret not stacking another LCD monitor on top
of the one i grabbed, like a double whopper. but i was
illegally parked and the apocalypse is here and let's not
push it with boston cops


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-05-18 23:16 [#02635545]
Points: 24463 Status: Regular

i was just thinking, i've about maxed chess out. like, i'll
never beat a professional, but really all i have to get out
of it is more esoteric patterns and scenarios and everything
else -- playing the player -- is more efficiently gotten
somewhere else at this point. i haven't played go in a long
time and maybe i should take a look at that again

more magic tomorrow. he's coming over for another game and
it's going to be proper. because this time i know enough to
put an actual strategy over, he knows what it is, and he's
even me bringing me cards i need to fill in the gap.
including a full playing set of the "battle of wits" card,
which is simply, "if there are over 200 cards in your deck,
you win the game."

i've heard it's possible to whittle it down to as little as
three moves.


offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2024-05-18 23:25 [#02635548]
Points: 4780 Status: Lurker

elon musk: chess is a simple game.

(no fog of war, no tech tree, lol)


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