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EpicMegatrax writes more bullshit
 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-18 15:47 [#02571804]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



maybe something like this you feel me


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-19 07:25 [#02571836]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



sorry not good not good maybe something like a new wave
track more upbeat?


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-19 07:29 [#02571837]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



epicmegatrax! bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum


 

offline mohamed on 2019-03-19 18:15 [#02571844]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline mohamed on 2019-03-19 18:38 [#02571846]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02571804 | Show recordbag



according to your music your mouth is infinitely larger than
your arsehole, i must affirm


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-19 18:43 [#02571847]
Points: 14044 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02571804



Very retro porn.


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-19 18:43 [#02571848]
Points: 14044 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02571846



Isn’t that the right way?


 

offline mohamed on 2019-03-19 18:44 [#02571849]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Followup to RussellDust: #02571848 | Show recordbag



lol. i havent reasoned in those terms.


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-19 21:12 [#02571863]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



my mouth is larger than my asshole yes


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-19 23:09 [#02571876]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



do u like synergy?


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-03-20 00:12 [#02571880]
Points: 9966 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



middle sounds like someone flicking an erection.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-20 00:44 [#02571884]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



pray for my soul; i am doomed


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-03-20 02:00 [#02571886]
Points: 9966 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02571884 | Show recordbag



Don't buy an MPC and stop sending messages to yourself.


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-20 08:42 [#02571890]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



i woke up and thought "what is xltronic up to i wonder let
me check" then i thought "nah, i'm sure it's only
epicmegatrax writing more bullshit" and went back to sleep.
lol i'm only a joking sorry


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-21 01:31 [#02571922]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



more or less, this thread started off as a courtesy: i'm
lousing up threads with my rambling; let's draw a line and
plant the true tangents in their own private zone so only
those who actually give a crap are exposed to it. there's
not really much point if you react to me here like you did
when i did it in unrelated threads; may as well poop
everywhere if you won't allow me a private stall

that being said, this thread took on a certain momentum
after a while, and certain rambles just inherently feel like
they belong here. i guess it was a failed idea that resulted
in a different, but still valid idea


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-21 01:44 [#02571923]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



also, i'm not mad. you can write whatever you want here.
heck, that's what i made it for, right? and that's part of
the fun of xltronic. it's harder to get in a supermodel's
pants than it is to get banned, here, and it's even harder
to actually make a new account, these days. part time-warp,
part insane aslyum

mermaidman ~ i feel like you are on stimulants, alcohol, and
psychedelics. i know this because i remember my xltronic
posts in 2012. take care of yourself. you're not quite as
good as jivver, but this place would still be far more dull
without you

russelldust ~ i sent that to a good pal of mine. when i was
out of work, broke, ubering, some idiot lady changed lanes
into my car, he took me in for three months. in that time, i
bought another car with the insurance money, found a job,
got an apartment. i had to sell off most of my synths due to
being out of work, including the first proper synth i ever
had, a korg x5d. bought for me by my dad's godfather, "uncle
ken." he'd insisted to my parents that i had the hands for
piano, and he also bought me one of the first keyboards i'd
ever had, a yamaha portasound in the late 80s. it was one of
the first things i circuit bent

anyways, i took a class called "introduction to digital
music" in high school. i literally could not bang a
tambourine on time, but with the computer, i could take
something in my head and have it be something other people
could hear. i was hooked. the class had korg x5ds for every
workstation. i remember asking about things like "how can i
load my own noises into it" and being told "that's sample,
they don't do that"

he had a korg x5d in a closet, and he just gave it to me.

i'd also used korg wavestation as a VST for years, and when
i told him this, he also had one in his closet, and said i
could have it. life was busy and it was only last weekend i
was finally able to visit, get it. along with the power
supply for the mixer he'd given me, and my 1099 health
insurance whatevr


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-21 01:53 [#02571924]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



a lot of my music gear, that which did not have resale value
when i was under financial pressure, was effectively stolen.
my dad was dying, i was emotionally incoherent. i was
renting a room from a friend in cape cod; i went back home
to be with my family. i'd had a storage locker on and off,
but i was broke, so i asked him if i could just leave most
of it there for a while; transported what i could back home
and such.

eventually, i come back, and ask to come get it. "oh, yeah,
i tried emailing you but you didn't respond." i read my
email. i did not buy it

turns out he'd just started taking bits of it, gave half my
music gear to his uncle. i desperately said: i just want my
mixer back. my yamaha. i've had that since high school. it's
half-knackered anyways, why would anyone want it?

never saw it again. along with my xbox, my digitech metal
master, etc.

the mpc, though, i had to sell.

the joke i was getting at, i suppose, was that i loved all
that music gear so much, that i neglected the rest of my
life. i was just on another fucking planet, working a room
full of hardware for 14 hours a day. three days a week, i
would actually do a job, working from home. more or less, i
should have given it five days. put some away for later.
but, no, bills are paid, time to write music. meanwhile, a
four-year relationship was also being neglected. that went
first, then i was redundant and out of work

gallows humor, really. mocking myself for doing that shit.
but, really, i doubt i'll do it a second time, even if i do
buy an MPC.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-21 02:11 [#02571925]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



the whole weasel thing came out of the ashes of
that, i suppose. so you get into this sorta shit,
where the neurons that had been doing music for 14 hours a
day engulfed the part of my brain that was responsible for
driving a car like some sort of tentacle virus


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-03-21 04:21 [#02571927]
Points: 9966 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02571924 | Show recordbag



That's really sad, I'm sorry mate.


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-21 08:13 [#02571930]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



no but i was really just joking i like the epicmegatrax
writes more bullshit column


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-23 04:16 [#02572108]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



athletics visualization ~ the best-known name so i'll just
borrow it

if you're a well-adjusted human, you've probably spent time
throwing crumpled-up paper into wastebaskets, at least a few
times. myself, i don't sit there and waste paper to throw it
out like i would when i was ten, but i do still relish when
i can have a legitimate excuse to more or less do the same
thing. you know, i really have to throw this paper out, so,
heck...

after a few years, i noticed that i got the best results if
i focused on the image -- no, scratch that, sort of like a
short animated gif of the ball of paper going into the
basket. the desired goal.

shortly thereafter, i also noticed -- when i was worried
about missing, i often did.

i propose a crossfader between "focusing on what you want to
achieve" and "doubt." doubt gums up the works. focusing on
what you want to achieve focuses your mental resources more
completely. it does not guarantee success, it's more about
operating at capacity.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-23 04:24 [#02572109]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



sports visualization exports sports elaboration; the next
word in your mind is


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-23 05:03 [#02572110]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



cleaned up

the difference between Thoreau, and Emerson... Thoreau would
repeatedly revise his shit, while Emerson would sort of
braindump & publish. I remember being assigned to read both,
in high school. Finding Thoreau pleasant and lively to read;
Emerson thick and dull.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-23 05:14 [#02572111]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



it's entirely possible i reversed the two writers. what made
an impact was this: my starkly different reaction between
one and the other, then finding out that the one i found
pleasant instead of painful was the one that compulsively
re-edited his writing to death.

i can't edit on xltronic; that has its own sort of value.
more of a genuine snapshot... but, i guess, weaselpedia is
more or less this thread, compulsively re-edited to make
proper sense

(as much as it can, anyways)


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-24 05:43 [#02572176]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



spamming in the dark; canned u hear me?


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-24 12:35 [#02572190]
Points: 14044 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02572110



Ooh you’re talking about Thoreau and Emerson. Ace. I too
prefer reading Thoreau.


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-24 13:43 [#02572197]
Points: 14044 Status: Regular



I don’t always agree, but I like the transcendentalits of
back when in the shtates. ‘On civil disobedience’ really
touched me at the time I read it.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-24 20:05 [#02572211]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



when i lived a little closer, i used to go for walks in
walden pond. i'd say ask people "is this walden?" and point
a point. no one ever got it unless it was someone else i'd
driven there with me. much more entertaining was a lady's
dog wilding out and getting her super. mad. because he won't
come back out of the muddy water. if dogs could lol, he
would have been doing it. i think i actually have some
video; posted about it here


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-24 20:06 [#02572212]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



*point to a pond


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-24 20:50 [#02572217]
Points: 14044 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02572211



He he!

Oh, as for a dog in a muddy pond... I saw a vid not long ago
but I think it was Facebook


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-09 02:40 [#02573880]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



so i get a call from lewis just now, 10:30pm. he's been
kicked out of his house, he's in his pajamas can he come
over and stay?

yes, but, ugh. i have work tomorrow


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-19 04:47 [#02575073]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



has anyone else ever felt a correlation between the
emotional tension in a song and the buffer distance you
leave between yourself and the car in front of you?

no, scratch that, let's just build it up ~

when you drive a car, or whatever, you leave a certain
amount of space between yourself and any vehicle in front of
you. there are laws about how much distance, etc. but in
america, these laws are seldom enforced.

after much thot, what i feel it boils down to is reaction
time. as a computer meat sack, i have a hard-limited
reaction time to absolutely everything. i don't see the gap
between me and the next car about safety, so much as a
reaction buffer. a sort of address space in which i'm making
numerous interrelated suppositions. keeping an eye on the
luxury mobile looking to cut me off, while watching my lane,
three or four cars ahead, to know if i need to know to brake
before i really need to. recently, to chemical brothers, but
before that, i was on a big driving to fatboy slim kick drum
marathon


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-19 05:08 [#02575077]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



driving fast... not, like, stupid fast, just toeing the
15mph above the speed limit threshold that is the unwritten
rule of speeding in america, on a nice hill, with curves...
i am having a peak experience. if i haven't driven my car and
started legitimately tearing up within the last few weeks,
it is time to deeply re-examine how i've been living my life
as of late.

i've posted about it somewhere here, before. i remember, a
phrase popped into my hed: "bloviate verklempt." i posted it
to twitter (because it had a nice ring to it) and considered
the matter settled.

but, over the next week, the phrase kept popping up in my
brane. it was legit haunting me -- hey, there i am, thinking
of that stupid bit of idle nonsense again. i have a lot of
nonsense like that, and it doesn't usually persist like
this. what does bloviate mean, anyways?

Slang To discourse at length in a pompous or
boastful manner


"ok, yeah, this is me," i thot

verklempt?

it turns out it was a yiddish word meaning "to be overcome
with emotion." like, you know, the level of joy you
experience during the birth of your first child, or the joy
i experience a few times a month (if i am taking proper care
of myself) driving my car to the right music.

i took two or three semesters of german class, but i've
never been exposed to yiddish at all, really. always adored
how the phrase haunted me until i finally researched it;
understood why it was so insistent. i see fragments of where
it came from, bit it was just so bizarre -- english doesn't
have a matching word for "verklempt." my brain needed such a
word. and i spout out a yiddish word on twitter, it haunts
me until i realize it's that thing i sent ya


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-19 06:09 [#02575078]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



most frustrating to me is after THIS_CRAP, i have
cheap-peace-of car, right now. it's, like, 11 or 12 years
old, but it only had 60k miles when i bought it. judging by
this, and its generally garish appearance, i surmise it was
previously owned by an indian-american grandma who drove it
like, never. the model had trims with far superior engines,
but i do not have one of these trims. it's ok; i don't care
about raw power. i care about tension and release. but i did
smell the brake pads when i got back just now; think i need
to start plotting my exit from this stupid indian grandma
car


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-19 08:21 [#02575081]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



dklgdjfgjdlkfg. dfjgkjggg990g. fjfsdf. it has been , like, a
week or three since i've had a solid day to myself. i take
off last friday, monday, because taxes are complicated due
to my past negligence. that does get more or less taken
care-of, barely, but lewis has a paranoid episode and it is
a whole drama i won't get into. end story, he flies off to
california, because, i guess, he just feels the need to
escape, and the best thing for him is to just let him do it.
meanwhile, i'm rather bummed about it, but his ex-girlfriend
is flipping out, even though she has a new boyfriend, so now
i've been hanging out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend
and it's like hanging with a strange female version of
myself. it makes perfect sense, it's just weird


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 16:14 [#02576093]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



woke up angry. just angry at everything. the neighbor's dog
barking was like stabbing bombs of "fuck off" in my brain.
clearly, something had to be done. i got out in my car and
smoked a had, but then so many people out. everything was in
bloom and my car had been covered in things from the tree
stuff, and this also annoyed me. i wanted to have a
cigarette but there's, like, some kid festival, and i feel
kind of crappy doing it right there, and so i want until the
last minute and only barely crack the window and stupid
fucking people everywhere

traffic is really slow. no one's fault, just stupdppdigh.
none of this is leaking out into my driving, however.
externally, i'm driving very (po)lightly and smoking a
cigarette.

smokes didn't do it. cigarette didn't do it. driving is
crap. stuck at a red lite, i disgard half of the cigarette
on to the pavement, out of protest to life itself

there's a junction point i target because of an odd u-turn
maneuver that a) i love, b) people rarely even think to do.
but, again, promptly, some audi is doing my thing, and doing
it, like, you could walk faster

i get around him a moment later. i am free of all the
people. i feel like a caged bird finally being able to
spread its wings. the song now is "the sunshine underground"
by the chemical brothers, and all the trees are in bloom,
and it's perfectly suited to the music. i'm sure you can
imagine.

i exit the highway, and as a redlite looms, i sigh, knowing
that was probably the best stretch i'd get out of this run.
but, then i correct myself -- no, don't call it. whatever
happens, will happen

and it promptly keeps going, albeit slower. the other
drivers finally feel in sync. i see three cars queued up,
and say, "yes, that's about the length of this breakdown,"
and it fits.

gradually looping around a long curve, trees all flowery, i
actually start to cry a bit. it's just so beautiful

this is what i do when i feel angry at everything.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 16:47 [#02576096]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



it has not always been this way. at first, i didn't even
stop to think that there was anything wrong, the anger would
have me, and i'd do obnoxious things. once i noticed the
pattern, well, it took years to learn how to stop it. from
there, i'm still angry, and you get into a deep pit of
stages with modular strategies.

if the anger is allowed to keep going, eventually, i'll wind
up in a pit of depression. holed up in bed for a week. as an
allegedly responsible adult with a normal job and a long
commute, i don't have time for that.

after the drive, i was still coasting on adrenaline. i found
myself writing the above post in my head, and, as i did, i
actually started crying again. i let it go fully at this
point, since i wasn't behind the wheel anymore, and cried
out of joy for a bit. then out of sadness. then i found
myself laughing. then i felt incredibly drained.

this annoyed me. dammit, i have things to do. i don't have
time for this. then i'm analyzing why this happened. i'd had
a dream about my usb sleep charger being broken and then i
woke up at like 8 am. i had a glass of water and went back
to sleep. this -- i think -- was my mistake. i can get
crabby when i oversleep, and i think my brain was trying to
warn me.

these sort of post-analysis sessions are how i develop all
these strategies in the first place. iterative improvement


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 16:52 [#02576097]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



after that, i was still just sort of standing there, so i
thought, "it'd probably help if i started typing it up" and
then i'm doing it and "a cup of tea would be nice" and
"let's have something to eat" just now. there we go. it's
warming up


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-27 17:08 [#02576099]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i had 3 cups of tea accompained with 12 biscuits each least
night


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-27 17:09 [#02576100]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



missed the 5 1s, congrats


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 17:18 [#02576101]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



this is also how i manage myself on the train, in a sense.
i'll jam headphones on my head with "the sunshine
underground" and i'll flash back to that moment, or
others... but, usually, it's no particular moment, it's just
the general feeling. then suddenly there are just waves of
:) all over and i'm not really on the train anymore. i'm
somewhere else.

it doesn't always work. sometimes, i'm beaten down into the
state where i'm angry at everything. i usually manage not to
let on, though, and the walk home is 3/4 of a mile and that
generally helps calm me down

it is like playing a chess match with my brain. i've taken
most of its pieces, but i still can't pin down his king. the
endgame can be right irritating

perhaps, at some point, my situation will change -- what if,
i'm now driving to work? i have to engineer a new routine
and appropriately distribute the strategies. figure out
multiple routes to suit my moody needs. one normal,
straight-to-work route, another long, winding, "i need to
chill a bit" route, and perhaps a backup for each of those
in case of traffic. eventually, it becomes modular, and i'll
just add as much as i need, or selectively dodge blocks of
traffic

my job is software engineering and this is how you have to
think for software engineering. i know it sounds strange and
autistic, but i'm not autistic at all, just strange,
possibly bipolar, add, etc.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 17:19 [#02576102]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02576099



that's a shit-ton of biscuits!


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-27 17:20 [#02576103]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



then im shit thin all the same


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 17:25 [#02576104]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



do you have clif bars over there? that's what i just had.
it's sort of like somewhere between a granola bar and a
biscuit, more healthy a breakfast but not too healthy :)


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-04-27 17:53 [#02576107]
Points: 12543 Status: Addict



i went out for a drive again, in significantly better
spirits, this time. just a sort of booster shot, and a full
cigarette. i skipped past the last 30 seconds of "the
sunshine underground" and "out of control" was next. after a
minute or three, though, i decide that it's clashing. i like
the song very much, it's just wrong for the vibe around me.
i press "next track" and this comes on. i found it
quite apropos, given all i've just written... and it synced
up much better.

then this, which i also found very appropriate

If we stand here together
We can laugh at what we've done
All our time has been wasted
And there's nowhere left to run

There may be trouble up ahead
Will we be sleeping in our beds
Or will we arise to a new world



 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-28 10:52 [#02576172]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02576104 | Show recordbag



nowhere to be seen


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-04-28 11:31 [#02576173]
Points: 5599 Status: Regular



maybe they hid them in the back somewhere so you don't see
them


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-29 15:00 [#02576241]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



you mean they stick them up the ass and that EpicMegatrax
does it too?


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-29 15:36 [#02576247]
Points: 28366 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



have you noticed how listening to a shit stream on the radio
is like listening to a cd with scratches on it?


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2019-04-29 15:40 [#02576248]
Points: 3461 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02573880



Poor lewis and poor you, you seem to have bad luck. Do you
have any good luck stories?


 


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