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EpicMegatrax writes more bullshit
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-04 18:34 [#02536604]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



i could be wrong though
don't think i am though


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-09 01:35 [#02536992]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



The 2013 study (coauthored by Florence J.M. Ruby, Haakon
Engen, and Tania Singer) argues that not all kinds of
self-generated thought or mind-wandering are alike. The data
collected from approximately 100 participants took into
account whether their thoughts were task related, focused on
the past or future, about themselves or others, and positive
or negative. What this study found was that, yes, negative
thoughts brought about negative moods (no duh).
Self-generated thought in depressed people tended to cause
and be caused by negative moods, and “past-related thought
may be especially likely to be associated with low mood.”
But all hope is not lost. The study also found that “by
contrast, future- and self-related thoughts preceded
improvements of mood, even when current thought content was
negative.”

“Daydreaming has aspects that will allow us to think
originally about our lives,” Smallwood told me. “But in
certain circumstances, continuing to think about something
might not be the right thing to do. Many states of chronic
unhappiness are probably linked to daydreaming simply
because there are unsolvable problems.”


boredom


 

offline mohamed on 2017-11-09 19:38 [#02537027]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



lets say that in condition of extreme difficulty you can go
mad and start daydreaming, which is the parallel reality
your survival instinct built as the only acceptable mental
environment, but the question is, how much difficulty and
therefore how much daydreaming is acceptable for your brain
to survive?


 

offline mohamed on 2017-11-09 19:56 [#02537028]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



you are the rambling madman in the 'rabbit in your
headlights' u.n.k.l.e video in this thread


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-09 23:29 [#02537052]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02537027



lets say that in condition of extreme difficulty you can
go mad and start daydreaming, which is the parallel reality
your survival instinct built as the only acceptable mental
environment, but the question is, how much difficulty and
therefore how much daydreaming is acceptable for your brain
to survive?


ulillillia said something like, "i won't ever be able to get
a driver's license, because i'd start playing my 'brain
games' while driving and crash the car."

i used to get so lost in thought about computer programming
or whatever while driving that i would almost miss stop
signs, red lights, etc... but, never actually did, just had
to slam on the brakes very suddenly.

somewhere along the line, that stopped being an issue. i was
thrilled with this development, and i wanted more. so i
began a rigorous meditiative/mindfulness study of my
driving, and the results are detailed throughout this
thread. i could link the posts if you want


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-09 23:30 [#02537053]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



point being, too much daydreaming can be deadly unless you
have refactored your muscle memory and carefully trained
your weasels to rhythmically multiplex


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-09 23:40 [#02537056]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



at some point along the line, the sphere of context
became plane



 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-09 23:48 [#02537058]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



that'll do


 

offline mohamed on 2017-11-10 21:51 [#02537116]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02537052 | Show recordbag



well thats not much to bullshit about driving, you have to
have a thousand eyes and be always focused.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-11-10 23:38 [#02537133]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02537116



with all the stuff going on, with all the crap people pull,
i view it as nothing short of a miracle that cars and
driving work so well. how little actually goes wrong. can't
blame me for wanting to know how that all works at all works


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-01-06 08:18 [#02541902]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



The microarchitecture does not allow memory references,
including speculative references, that access higher
privileged data when running in a lesser privileged mode
when that access would result in a page fault


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-25 05:01 [#02545103]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



i examine my pod of cookies ("biscuits") from its position
on the shelf. rotate it, so the courtesy flap is accessible.
examine the cookies ("biscuits") from the resulting angle.

"the center cookie {'biscuit'} looks like the primo
{'biscuit'}," i thot to myself as i flipped the courtesy
flap. flap

as i reach for the cookie, my brain becomes a game show.

you are the cookie*. of. the
moment!!!1
. a simulated audience cheers with
delight.

i devour the cookie (biscuit) and reflect upon the game
show. why had it suddenly appeared?

it would be more understandable should i have been doing
something tedious... my mind wandering off into a
daydream... but, no, i was eating a biscuit (cookie).

things are like this for me. sudden strange pyrotechnics. i
suspect my brain was just happy to be fed a cookie
(biscuit).

*biscuit


 

offline mohamed on 2018-02-25 10:37 [#02545119]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



biscuits are the balance of life


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-25 21:32 [#02545140]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



if i had a VR setup i could probably recreate the immersive
game-show experience i had. i wish i could, really. would be
sort of like how people paint their dreams to make sense of
them.

i'm sure the sounds 'n' visuals were all odd parts culled
from my life experiences. the camera angle, the lights...
i'm sure i saw it on tv somewhere. it's on the tip of my
toungle. i get that tingle of aphasia i've been becoming
increasingly familiar with, letting me know that, yes, there
is an answer, but it's too foggy. i can't see through to the
answer. i want to say it was from wheel of fortune, but i
really cannot be sure



 

offline RussellDust on 2018-02-25 22:14 [#02545141]
Points: 14182 Status: Regular



This thread does not exist.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-26 02:56 [#02545146]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



this post is not about itself.


 

offline welt on 2018-02-26 10:20 [#02545152]
Points: 1995 Status: Regular



You are not yourself because you have not created yourself.
You are an effect of something else, and that cause is
who is you
, while you yourself are just a
shadow/ghost/after-image of that process. You don't exist
and you don't read this sentence. .uoY


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-28 05:25 [#02545341]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict | Followup to welt: #02545152



i wrote posts about this very thing in this very thread. i
found a snappy quote that's in the ballbark, somewhere on
page nine:

but, really, read this if you wand the full
mindhacker experience


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-28 05:29 [#02545342]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



ok this is managable

as a baby, your mind has no language. you're around your
parents and soak up their harmonics, rhythms, and feelings
until enough has built up for you to learn to speak by
exploding all that you've heard into little bits and
stitching it back together to express yourself.

i've joked consciousness is a just really long tape delay
with the feedback turned up slightly past unity... kernel of
truth, there.

the voices of your parents are fed into an empty delay with
the feedback slightly past unity. it gathers and spirals
around until you break the wall of language. other voices
flow in: relatives. sesame street. over time, a unique
individual emerges as your spiral gathers the inverse of
entropy.

your parents' spirals were initialized by the voices of
their parents, and their parents by their parents, and it's
like a tape loop of rhythmic data being passed from one
generation to the next like an olympic torch.


--post #02503301


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-28 05:37 [#02545343]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



the thread is so big that i'm reposting stuff i posted pages
and pages ago because otherwise no one will be able to find
it. heck, i had trouble finding it... and now it's getting
worse, with copies of bits of itself filling it up further
in a computationaly explosive attempt to reference itself in
order to explain itself further


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-02-28 06:09 [#02545346]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict | Followup to welt: #02545152



You are not yourself because you have not created
yourself. You are an effect of something else, and that
cause is who is you, while you yourself are just a
shadow/ghost/after-image of that process. You don't exist
and you don't read this sentence. .uoY


anyways, back to this. it could be considered true in a
literal sense as per extending the stopped clock illusion to
the rest of conscious awareness.

then there's a whole thing about the subconscious mind being
a mirror. i've reflected on that one for a while now

"you" is also a second person pronoun in english. du hast


 

offline mohamed on 2018-02-28 19:38 [#02545428]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



this thread is for xltronic as botox is for a woman's face


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-08 00:46 [#02548521]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



it's been a while since i've written about driving. i do a
lot of it. driving, i mean, but writing too

long highway drives have certain concerns, amongst them
"where is the right exit?" i figure most people have
wandered off into thought after an hour or so, and this
where missing your exit can occur.

i dislike missing exits, so i set up some neural pathways to
avoid this scenario. first step: what's the exit number? 8,
ok. next, how many miles is it? 58, ok. i then look at my
car odometer and do the arithmatic to determine what the
odometer reading will be when i am in the process of (not)
missing my exit. the digits sum up to 100, yes, that's a
very easy number for me to remember, i think

as i drive, early stage, about twice, i flick open my phone
and double-check my math. i'm sure it's right, but going
over it a couple more times sets up redundant pathways. i
occasionally glance down at the odometer and eyeball about
how many more miles i have remaining, setting pathways for
the same goal, in reverse.

when i get to the proper point, my brain explodes. i've been
over exit 8, odometer reading LSD 100, six ways ten
different times and there is no way i am missing it, no
matter how lost in thot i am. i've drawn a repeated circle
of intent around this situation and the way the brain works
is stuff bubbles up when it's relevent


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-27 07:10 [#02550277]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



with radio, all the stations are floating through the air at
once, but you only listen to one at a time. you select a
precise frequency and amplify it...

listening to music, i'll do the same sort of thing with my
focus. i'll decide the bassline sounds interesting (or
whatever) and focus my ears on the bassline. then perhaps
i'll zoom out a bit and listen to how the snare drum and the
bassline relate to each other...

it's fascinating to me how many different ways you can hear
the same song... keep coming back to it and hear it a
different way... sometimes even spot a noise i never noticed
in a song i've been listening to for years.

the first few listens are a particularly interesting thing.
this is when you're most in the hands of the composer,
letting them drag your focus around where they please. it's
only later, once you know the track, that you start to
listen past the velvet ropes.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-27 07:20 [#02550278]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



i've been working on a very dense jungle musics, recently,
and this (context: above post) has all become frustratingly
relevant. i'm trying to cram a ridiculous number of events
into a sonic meltdown at the end, and it's driving me
bonanonkers.

i sit down at the start of the day, play it back, and say:
great! what a rush! but it sounds a bit muddy, here...

i promptly start tinkering with it. fail hard. it's so
complicated! i can't even tell which sample is doing what.
i'm just ruining it. twenty minutes of fiddling; playing the
same little bit over and over. eventually, somehow, i can
actually hear the individual sounds, and some progress is
made.

...or is it? i don't know. i've been working on the same
five seconds of music for forty minutes. i play it back and
find i've made a very nice sounding bit that sticks out like
a sore thumb. drat

and here is the nub of the issue: when i'm doing those
micro-edits, i have no conception of how they'll sound in
the flow of the song. when i'm focused on the flow of the
song, the micro-edits go to goulash.

consequently, i spend a large amount of time listening to
completed sections of the track simply so i can hear if the
uncompleted sections work or not. i've actually gotten very
good at judging how far back i need to go to reset my ear,
and as such, i can watch it get worse over the course of a
few hours. at a certain point, i simply cannot hear the
global flow anymore. i often think the track is a horrid
mess. then, i wake up the next morning, with fresh ears, and
find that purgatory of hex goulash last night actually
resulted in some pretty decent work. i say: great! what a
rush! but it sounds a bit muddy, here...

halp.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-27 07:33 [#02550279]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



there are momentary triumphs. stuck, frustrated, i go
outside to smoke a zigguraut. halfway through, an idea comes
to me: i need to go change this one single note in this one
part from a C to a D# and it will be owsum and i don't even
finish the smoke i run inside, upstairs, to change this
single note, and it is exactly what i wanted. if only it
actually solved the issue that got me to go outside for a
smoke too

related: the moment back in 2014: lying in bed at 2am,
unable to sleep. convinced -- convinced -- i've
forgotten a single semi-colon in my PHP code. "this is
stupid," i think. "i can't sleep because i'm worried about a
single semi-colon. stupid as it is, though, i'd better go
check on it, because i won't be able to sleep until i do." i
checked it. i had forgotten a single semi-colon. i fixed it.
if i hadn't fixed it things would have been broken when
people got to the office in the morning

this is why i am a good computer programmer, and also why
music can destroy my life (because i lose the ability to do
anything else [including sleep] once i get deep enough into
either)


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 18:19 [#02550287]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



bullshit, you are a good programmer and a mediocre music
maker (up to date)


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 18:23 [#02550288]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



thats why you are here, because you didnt find self
affirmation over at watmm with your nutty site and your 64
albums, and you have just begun to see the light at the end
of the tunnel with the latest shit you posted here. because
of xltronic.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-27 18:48 [#02550290]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



trolololll


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 19:03 [#02550292]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



wouldnt that be great? ....whatever


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-27 19:13 [#02550293]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



watmm was great for the phase of my life when i never left
the house; smoked synthesizers and played weed all day

anyways, can't remember how many times i've said this, but:
i like writing stuff. most people like xbox or something
instead; i figure i'm doing alright with this stuff really.
you can read it or not. replies are nice, but i have zero
expectation of anything... except, of course, some italian
guy who works in a call center or something taking out his
personal frustrations with life out on me. presumably
because i seem somewhat satisfied with what i do, something
you've probably never felt


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 19:16 [#02550294]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



booo hooo... im crying.. haha... fuck off


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-27 19:18 [#02550295]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02550294



sounds like mixed mania. you should get that looked at


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 19:19 [#02550296]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



is your mum available?


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 19:39 [#02550307]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



how come many americans are not fond of mo? but elusive
threats mo good


 

offline mohamed on 2018-04-27 19:40 [#02550309]
Points: 28469 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



recycle threats mo good


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-29 05:25 [#02550503]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



00:25 ~ setting the channel volume at 30 vs. 35 has a
noticible impact on The Funk and that i have to go back a
minute or two in order to hear this minute dynamics tidbit
strikes me as somewhat insane, but i do it anyways. it
simply has to be done


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-29 05:26 [#02550504]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



35 won, btw.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-29 05:27 [#02550505]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



in order to hear this minute dynamics tidbit

...in the right context


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2018-04-29 05:38 [#02550506]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



i mean, i guess it's not too absurd, in a different context.
it's the start of a new phase of the track, and i am
stressing over the volume of the 303 bassline. i don't want
to tip my hand on the jungle pad melody early, as i have
"the drop" already programmed ahead. the 303 bassline hides
under the jungle pad melody, so i can't use too much of it
before "the drop." yet, the space feels too sparse. it needs
a bit ~more bassline.~

i throw on some more bassline. it sounds good, but it's too
much. it robs "the" jungle pad melody "drop" of its punch. i
prune some bassline. i prune some more bassline

i am left with two single notes of ~more bassline~. it seems
about right... but, i am not sure. i leave the track alone
for a couple days.

ok, no, that's still too much bassline. i delete the second
note. play the whole song back. no, still too much. shorten
the release. still too much. needs to be quieter...

...oh, no, that's too quiet. little louder.... oh, no, a
little more louder... ok, yes, that's good.

there are other things like this going on all over the
track. welcome to my self-made purgatory


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-17 16:44 [#02571775]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



i really love driving. i'm about here, musically.
going over 50, smoking a cigarette with one hand, and i
think: i want to do this next part like the way beams of
sunlight gradually fade when going through a shade or
something being gently moved by the wind.

i'm coming out of a right bank, uphill, and there's an
upcoming left bank, as it shifts down. i'm going to hang it
wide left, then, at a particular angle, switch right with a
sort of logarithmic envelope, then let it go wide; correct
in a slow motion.

when you switch from a left bank to a right bank, the car's
suspension will lag. there are similar things going on as
you switch from up to downhill. if i had to describe the
motion in a more technical sense, it's like three wireframe
rectangles sliding over each other in a particular motion,
at least from side-to-side. adding the third dimension to
the description would take a lot of mulling; i'm not even
sure cubes would cut it

of course, i'm not thinking about any of this. the music is
just reminding me of those motions, and as i'm focusing on
them, from somewhere, i just know how to get that out of the
car.

a lot of it is practice. that i drive this route all the
time; have all the potholes memorized. early sunday
afternoon and no one else on the road. i felt a bit foggy
and crabby when i went out, but now i feel fired up. driving
really gets the best out of me. it is essential to my mental
well-being


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-17 19:21 [#02571776]
Points: 14182 Status: Regular



That’s incredible, EpicMegatrax!


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-17 20:27 [#02571777]
Points: 5701 Status: Addict



can someone write an opening song for epicmegatrax writes
more bullshit like mr. rogers


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-17 21:33 [#02571781]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



less incredible was, on the way home from doing some adult
nonsense i didn't want to, but did (flawlessly!), i'm in
traffic. driving rather boring; nothing of note. then i hear
bzzzzz!

i'm looking around for the motorcycle, when i realize...
shit, that's me, isn't it.

oh well. in the name of positivity

- it didn't die, i didn't need a tow, i didn't get hurt,
there's not even loss of power. i could probably just keep
driving it if it weren't so loud i'm worried about getting
pulled over
- it had the decency to ruin a boring moment instead of a
good one
- i got my errands done first

but now i have to find a proper garage since the old-skool
one the burb used to flock to is no longer a thing. probably
schedule time off work, because i'll be crazy without my car
by mid-week


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-17 21:37 [#02571782]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



90% it's the pipe that connects the muffler to the front of
the car. it's rusted out and blew a hole. is that the, er...
b-pipe? i think?

i know lots more about driving cars than car internals. for
the latter, just a vague overview; i've learned to not let
myself diagnose them too far because i always go into some
hypochardriac tangent


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-03-17 21:40 [#02571783]
Points: 12746 Status: Addict



i also need new brakes, and the tire pressure sensor has
been throwing an indicator light for weeks. apparently, it's
just the stupid sensor in the back left wheel, and not
actually any sort of functional problem, but i suspect it
might fail me on inspection in a few months

it's starting to get tempting to get a new car. i got this
old shitbucket as a temporary measure anyways, when i was
out of work and some hair lady changed lanes without looking
into my much nicer car

i figure if i have to put more than $3k into it to fix these
problems, and the exhaust, then perhaps this is the moment


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-03-18 08:47 [#02571793]
Points: 10075 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



Does your condition have a name?


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-03-18 12:51 [#02571799]
Points: 14182 Status: Regular



EpicMegatisis


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-18 13:09 [#02571802]
Points: 5701 Status: Addict



or a slow r&b song maybe like

epicmegatrax writes more bullshit baby, oh yeah
anytime you feel like reading more bullshit baby, oh yeah...


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-03-18 13:10 [#02571803]
Points: 5701 Status: Addict



it needs a good funky bassline and a saxaphone solo


 


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