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EpicMegatrax writes more bullshit
 

offline kei9 from Argentina on 2023-05-24 18:21 [#02627889]
Points: 378 Status: Regular



someone needs to code a crawler that gathers every epics
post and then use them to train a chatbot, then ask it to
write an autobiography


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2023-05-24 18:53 [#02627890]
Points: 39148 Status: Regular



someone needs to code a crawler that gathers every epics
post and then use them to train a chatbot, then ask it to
write an autobiography

I 2nd that!


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-01 06:51 [#02628998]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular | Followup to kei9: #02627889



someone needs to code a crawler that gathers every epics
post and then use them to train a chatbot, then ask it to
write an autobiography


i have every post scraped and llama.cpp working locally. the
flaw with your plan is that it can't handle that much text
at once. nor can any other AI. this is not a
self-deprecating joke. even the best ones, that you have to
pay for, have like a 75k context window or something.
they're not designed for a small novel


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-01 07:02 [#02628999]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



anyways, i'm avoiding derailing the stop-motion thred
mermaidman loves so dearly, here --

that i'm trying to remember when i saw that gumby thing. the
spooky bit. and my brain is waffling between old house
(until 8) and new house. then, well, i suspect i saw it in
both places -- because the fact that i can't tell which
house i was in when i reach back for the memory, tells me
it's an old memory i'm having trouble talking to. so both.
but the old house first.

and that i'm having trouble with which house, means i wasn't
eight, that i'm really not sure. i could have been as young
as 4.

and, interesting points:

1) there's a very distinct sense of falling off a cliff when
i try to reach that far back into my timeline. science has
research and a term for this, that i cannot recall. brain
hits a critical period and that's effectively where your
memory begins; before that it's very fuzzy and vague if
accessible at all
science has research and a term

2) it blows me away how regularly i remember where i was,
when something happened.

examples for 2)

A) when mum told me, "your dad was all 'i can take it if the
kids are ugly, but i won't be able to stand it if they're
dumb" we were in the car, about three minutes away from an
I-90 access point. i can take you to the exact physical
spot

B) would you like to be taken to the exact physical spot
where i learned the word 'myriad' ?

C) when syro had just been released, i was out walking, and
i had a sudden diarrhea explosion in my pants, and i can
take you to the exact physical spot.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-01 07:07 [#02629000]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



for 2 ~ i think memory might be fundamentally built on your
sense of where you (and your limbs) are at. either that, or
it's very flexible, it can be built many ways, and mine
happens to be built on physical place

for 1 ~ so when does my memory start?

i've figured out a lot of tricks in there, but i've zero for
sorting this one out. it's the sort of stupid tangent i
could genuinely drive myself mad with, so i'm going to say
"put this on simmer somewhere in the back" to my brain and
it'll find spare moments in the shower to casually chip away
at this

perhaps there isn't a precise cutoff. that's kind of why i
want to find it. particularly because, if there is a precise
cutoff, did i retain anything of what it was like in my head
the moment that happened? and if i could find that in there,
that would be fucking dynamite

but, no, simmer. this is a hobby


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-01 07:39 [#02629001]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



so i thought about it just a little. and i'm only a few
tangents deep when i get to: if we can ever record the
mind's eye to an MP4 video¹ the absolute first one i want
to upload is from kindergarten:

we get back from lunch, we are all sitting in front of the
teacher, quietly, she's saying something, and this one kid
very abruptly stands up. like, it was plain weird; everyone
kind of stopped. he didn't say a word. he just stood there
for a moment...

...and then he began to projectile vomit this frothy mixture
that was... well, effectively, he was a firehose of what
looked like strawberry milkshake.

"RUN FOR COVER!" i yelled aloud to everyone, and dove under
a table with one of my classmates.

about 25 years later, that guy was diving off the wrong
cliff and was quadraplegic with after that.

on the other hand, we did the thing where moms arrange it
and there's the thing where i'm hosted over there once and
he was hosted over at old house once. and i was like: "cool,
when are we doing that again?" and mom's answer effectively
was: "we're not, because we're not jewish enough." i asked
what that meant and mum laughed.

exact physical location: sitting in the car parked in the
driveway of old house

then the guy's dad...

...and, yes, you see what i mean? i think about it just a
little; and we're through all that. this is too much
spaghetti to heft. moving on now

¹ i would prefer something lossless like ProRes please


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-01 09:29 [#02629002]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



then the guy's dad... that i'd stopped there and out
of nowhere this came back on me. the guy's dad, when we were
also in kindergarten, dove into a river and saved someone
that had fallen in, was on the news, etc. and he was
randomly talking about it in front of the class, and,
genuinely, guy was solid. that was mad cool.

but then his son fucks himself hardcore doing some macho
ballsy dive off a cliff... and, christ, you can have great
parents and they can still fuck you up, i'm thinking. that
he wants to be like dad and he probably had a long history
of being stupidly aggressive diving into water -- guessing
-- because dad did that mad cool thing when he was 5. and i
utterly get it, and it's kind of scary how we're so blindly
sculpted in dangerous ways by even genuinely heroic acts

that, while it was a thing -- my mom was trying to explain
to me that they were fucking snobs, and i think it may have
actually been my first time on that tip? -- the the thing
about my family being goy central and gtfo was all sorted
out above my head. at the time, i simply thought it was
strange and bizarre; what is 'jewish' and why does it
matter? [redacted] and i had a chill time

my attempts to understand it were met with the same
amusement as a husky dog trying to talk and getting
frustrated because he can't


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-01 09:54 [#02629004]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



oh, it's popped into my head again. my brain is saying:
you're asking about the start of your timeline, your first
memory, and remember your konrad lorenz? this guy's dad had
a memorable impression on you, and, as it was his dad, this
could have been a serious imprinting window for him. and,
see? these tangents matter

to which i reply: "matter" is relative and i'm not getting
paid for this. i'm not posting anything more you tell me
after this, even if it's fucking dynamite, ok?

ok.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-05 20:45 [#02629033]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular | Followup to recycle: #02627890



> someone needs to code a crawler that gathers every
epics post and then use them to train a chatbot, then ask it
to write an autobiography


so i'll clarify my response, here -- you could take my
"corpus" and build a custom model on it, sure. i actually
haven't tried that level of it, yet. however, then what
you'd get is a chatbot that talks like me, in the way i talk
in response to you. input is some xlt thred, output is epic
post, train it on everything, boom, you have absolutely the
last thing everyone needs.

if you then got it to write an "autobiography" -- it would
get lost in some fragment of some fragment for a few
paragraphs and then go insane. it would not be a satisfying
result


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-05 20:52 [#02629034]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



i could link the thred where i was having llama.cpp attempt
to simulate belb. it had sparks of... atta bot! but mostly
crud, because i was simply feeding belb's last few posts on
it and some long post he wrote about porn just took over
everything the bot said because it was longer than all of
his other posts combined. it can't summarize more than a
page or three, at least with my weedly lil' macbook air


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-23 05:08 [#02629306]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



i was momentarily lost in thought for normal business
reasons -- just making an internal agenda -- and then out of
the corner of my eye I see what looks like a goose wearing a
poofy jacket in monochrome; black on yellow back. it looks
like a logo on a poofy jacket, really! and this wound make
sense, because i see what looks like a brand: "GOOSE..."

...band? i don't quite get it. because then my eyes snap
back into focus and it's instead my eyeball 3 inches away
from the part of my 303 that says "NORMAL MODE"

i hope this post has taught you a lot about how the mind
works, so far. let's continue

i'm not sure if the contrapositive of NORMAL MODE is GOOSE
BAND, but as i cannot rule it out, i have to rule it in that
it was actually GOOSE BRAND and that would make much more
sense, yes! that it started as a fuzzy blob. my brain
eventually decided to perceive it as a goose. at that point
i consciously take over and think: "it's a goose wearing a
poofy jacket, it looks like a logo on a poofy jacket" and so
then the part of my brain that made it a goose in a poofy
jacket in the first place said, "oh, alright" and the text
GOOSE BRAND begins to bleed up into the image i perceive.

i hope you've learned a lot about how the mind works from my
post so far. let's continue: then i lost focus, and actually
focused my eyes. i'm just left with GOOSE... ...band? ...and
it kind of computes that, if i'm not operating in normal
mode, i'm operating on goose band

but my brain insists: we've finally figured out what the
opposite of normal mode is, but that's not what the other
word was

and it's taken me writing this all up to get to: ...oh, it
was BRAND. and it was not finished bleeding through the
membrane, yet.

this is why i try to hang onto it and freeze when i wind up
in this by accident. i knew as soon as i moved my eyes, this
goose thing would immediately snap out of existence and be
replaced by... well, normal mode. i hope you've learned a
lot about how the mind works from reading my post


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2023-07-23 13:08 [#02629309]
Points: 10669 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



Jesus


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-24 05:25 [#02629322]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



jesus didn't have soto zen and a wikipedia's pages on
neurology, so we can't be too hard on him over his
conclusions.

perhaps jesus tried mushrooms and experienced the thing
where he's drawing -- aimless scribbling, actually -- and he
thinks: I wasn't trying to draw anything in particular, but
"that really kind of looks like a goose"

jesus keeps drawing as he thinks this, hand seemingly on
autopilot. the goose gradually appears on the page in
clearer detail. "that looks like the start of a hat," jesus
thinks, and the disembodied mushroom hand of jesus dutifully
sketches in the hat. "now the goose is at a tiki bar," jesus
tells himself -- however, this time, he's lying. he didn't
see a tiki bar. he just wanted to see if his hand would
still draw it. it did

but, never mind jesus -- in addition to lacking soto zen and
neurology, jesus didn't have electronic music production.

because, if you walk this over from drawing "...looks kinda
like..." to music "...sounds kinda like..." it's a logical
leap that mushroom hand could turn the knobs without you
having to consciously think about it, leaving you free to
focus on composition.

like jesus, you haven't touched mushrooms in at least ten
years now, as you eventually came to realize it was actually
something you always did in the first place, and mushrooms
simply pointed it out

... because, well, if you hold your eyes fixed you'll start
to visually hallucinate after you've held it for long enough
to all become its own afterimage? soto zen had the idea,
neurology backed it up? and can you imagine how mad
mushrooms would be if i wrote all this up as tediously as
jesus did?

Christ


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-24 05:38 [#02629323]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



[i was hovering 3 inches over my 303 with my glasses to the
side because:

(i was moving some cables around, then i realized i needed a
flashlight, then i went off to think where my flashlights
currently were, and do i need to go downstairs for one?)]

...and, boom, one or two seconds of thinking about
flashlight logistics, and then i'm into GOOSE MODE. as i
stated in the post about GOOSE MODE, it took writing it out
to solve the part i was having trouble with.

i'm actually very organized in here, thanks. i suspect the
reason seems to even be able to understand how dialed in my
shit has become is because i'm having so much fun. neither
scientists nor monks are allowed to have any fun, right? so
i can't possibly be doing any of that!

no, it's more like when richard feynman went to the library
and asked, "Do you have a map of a cat?" and everyone in the
whole library stopped what they were doing and turned over
to give him a weird look: Did you mean an ~anatomical chart~
sir?

Sort of. He meant whatever the fuck fancy words these people
use instead of "map." He also knew precisely how they'd
react to "map" and did this shit to everyone, all day long.
In a blue-collar new york accent, which further unnerved
"scientists"


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-24 05:39 [#02629324]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



i hope you've learned a lot about how my posts work from
reading my mind.

Bob Dobbs


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-24 07:06 [#02629325]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



that, oh, while i'm pulling over for my quarterly attempt to
actually explain myself, the full timeline with some
judgement calls would help:

1. T+0 [2023-07-23, the stroke of midnight] I am
shoulder-deep into a maze of cables, eyes open but being
tuned out, when I lose the target cable in the rat's nest
for the third time. I need a flashlight, OK. Where are my
flashlights?

2. T+5sec ~ I spot the blob that would eventually become
"GOOSE BRAND" out of the corner of my eye. I freeze my eyes,
everything, and let it develop as described -- not because I
feel obligated to, but because I fucking love this
shit.


3. T+10sec ~ I lose focus and move my eyes, popping the
bubble.

4. T+15sec ~ I'm haggling with myself about whether GOOSE
BAND was the target, and every fiber of my gut feeling says:
That's clever, but it's wrong.

5. T+20sec ~ I've concluded I need to go type this out if I
really want to know this.

6. T+25sec ~ If I followed all of this crap every time, I
would get nothing done, and, right, I have ADHD, and it's
important to stop myself and evaluate before I impulsively
run off to a different floor of the house to post about
GOOSE B[R]AND

7. T+30sec ~ I'm still thinking about it, but since I'm
leaning towards "yes" I seem to have gotten up and started
moving towards my computer. This was not a conscious
decision, but something I noticed later

8. T+40sec ~ Okay, yeah, I'm sure now. This won't take long;
this feels like a cherry one to open [if it were a loot
box]. Due diligence: check

9. T+9min ~ I've written the post I wrote, figured it out,
and I'm already lost in thought about something else by the
time I'm back upstairs with the flashlight I chose at
T+5sec

10. T+etc ~ My hands mostly do the cabling. Occasionally my
collar is pulled to solve something my hands can't, but by
and large, I'm not even paying attention.

However, can't recall what I was thinking about at that
point, because I didn't write about it


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-25 00:55 [#02629353]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02629004



oh, it's popped into my head again. my brain is saying:
you're asking about the start of your timeline


so if you read [#02629306 #02629309 #02629322 #02629323
#02629324, #02629325] in that order, you're then built up
into a context to go back and re-skim #02629306 and say:
this is strange, but it does actually make sense now.
#02629306 was a breakdown in a logbook of an event i thought
worth breaking down.

so it is with the post i'm replying to with this post, which
is the end of another arc: #02628999 i'm trying to more
accurately place a distant childhood memory on a timeline,
eventually i'm into: can i get back to the very first
point?

and it's strange. years ago i realized the earliest memory i
have is of my dad walking into the room and telling me i'm
going to have a sister. the timing of this would mean i was,
at most, a year and a half old. i remember i thought: "i
know brothers are supposed to mean to sisters, but that
doesn't feel good, so i think i'm not going to be like that;
i'm going to be a nice brother"

why didn't i yank that right out, when i was writing all
that? and the answer is, effectively, "it needed some more
time in the oven" [a state of affairs i'm becoming oddly
comfortable with]

that the scientific community generally agrees there's a
critical period around this age, and it's very hard for
anyone to remember anything before that. and i'm on this
because "if i can find the very first one, maybe i'll have
something left of what changed" and science would actually
care about this, i figure

so: i think that may be the first point on my timeline
because that's the first point i experienced an emotional
challenge strong enough to trigger introspection,
subvocalization, talking to myself. that i was probably
doing this a bit already, like a child saying words without
really knowing what they are... but yeah, a serious
emotional jolt lights up the network and burns in a couple
fuses to configure the network


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2023-07-25 03:45 [#02629354]
Points: 39148 Status: Regular



R.U.O.K.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-07-25 13:21 [#02629364]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



after a few days of thinking "i should find that tape
recorder" -- the one in the vid -- and then getting
distracted, i finally find it. it only then becomes clear
that i didn't actually have a reason to find it.


...

but already technical problems. the bell needs... i
dunno, wd-40? how do you work on a vintage... well, i don't
even have words to classify bells. it's red. you wind it up.
it's fucking loud. it needs servicing


...

brain updates:
 1. we saw this bell once in a youtube video years ago
and were blown away someone else had one too. we never
followed up past that and so now we have no idea how to find
the video (which we could describe, but won't)

 2. the bell used to have a sticker with, like, model
info, and it's old and the sticker fell off and it didn't
seem right to just throw that out so we threw it in the bag
of things like that we haul out when we do collage art. and
hey, yes, this helps, right? it's in the bottom of a ziplock
bag stuffed full of things like that? i can tell you where
the bag is too

it's sort of like when the daft judge wig guy in 5th element
tosses bruce willis the pool ball instead of the grenade:
"oh, um.. .. super, thanks"

i'm not going to get the bag out of... why do i even need to
type where it is

it used to be worse. ten years ago i would have actually
gotten that bag out.

how do you fix vintage windup bells from... the 60s? maybe?


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-08-15 01:30 [#02629820]
Points: 22902 Status: Regular



i don't mean to get anyone's hopes up. but i think i found
the thing that shuts my brain up. what i'm doing wrong with
my breathing and what to do when i get into that. it was
there right after figuring out how to make myself bubble
with giggles at will, then remembering something about how
this was merely a distraction along The Path and fuck their
route but i can take a hint, and, alright, that's cool,
let's move on. this was after a few days spending a lot of
time meditating. it's a few days later and i've not been as
intense, but i can still find it. starting to become more
automatic. cool


 


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