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IDM Core Rulebook (2nd Edition)
 

offline virginpusher from County Clare on 2004-10-04 14:35 [#01353067]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #01353024



My dearest alex,

I am sorry. I have been drinking things because it is my
sisters birthday. I am also going out later but the point is
that above all these rules is grant wilson-claridge.

grant wilson-claridge makes or breaks everyone. He runs the
entire music scene as we know it


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 14:37 [#01353073]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to virginpusher: #01353067



this, ofcourse, is not true.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 16:12 [#01353171]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



IDM Core Rule #0.02

Get the idea in your head that emotion perceived in music is
inherent to the music.

Make a division in your mind between Music That Is Brimming
With Emotion and Music That Is Cold And Emotionless.

Then go a step further and the make the following
equations:

Music Has Melody = Music That Is Brimming With Emotion

Music Without Melody = Music That Is Cold And Emotionless

Now try to prove your point by giving examples of both and
try to make it come off as if it's not subjective at all,
but plain hard fact.


 

offline defpoint from Silicon Valley (United States) on 2004-10-04 17:19 [#01353244]
Points: 38 Status: Lurker



IDM precept:

Esoteric behavior denotes skill.


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2004-10-04 18:12 [#01353280]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #01352856



thats my favorite rule.


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2004-10-04 18:14 [#01353286]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule 666

Always claim that Aphex Twin is shit, even though you used
to love him.

666 a.

In order for you to seem smarter than everyone else and
actually verify your logic that Aphex = shit, make sure you
claim that Autechre is the best group ever no matter how
much you dont understand their music.


 

offline deepspace9mm from filth on 2004-10-04 18:30 [#01353292]
Points: 6846 Status: Addict



IDM Core Rule F: Smell your fingers, Subsection F33.

Do your fingers smell like:

A) Success
B) Success
C) Dirty Fannies

If any of the above, you comply with Wank3000. Well done.


 

offline mappatazee from ¨y¨z¨| (Burkina Faso) on 2004-10-04 18:31 [#01353293]
Points: 14291 Status: Lurker | Followup to deepspace9mm: #01353292



No funny detected.


 

offline deepspace9mm from filth on 2004-10-04 18:38 [#01353298]
Points: 6846 Status: Addict | Followup to mappatazee: #01353293



Shit. Either i'm drinking again or i'm drinking again.
Either way, my legs hurt pretty bad.


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2004-10-04 18:50 [#01353311]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule 10023v

You are impressed with anything over 200bpm that contains
more sounds rushing past your ears than your brain can
process while a weak/repetitive melody is being played* in
the background.




* melody is most likely sampled from elsewhere



 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2004-10-05 20:02 [#01354237]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule 3039

When posting on IDM related forums, make sure everyone knows
that your opinion is valued more than others.


 

offline thecurbcreeper from United States on 2004-10-05 20:07 [#01354242]
Points: 6045 Status: Lurker



qrter is most awesome.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-05 21:13 [#01354300]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to weatheredstoner: #01354237



this is more a general forum rule, though.

I'm sorry, your rule has been.. SCRAPPED!!!

TO THE SCRAPHEAP WITH YOUR RULE!!


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2004-10-05 21:17 [#01354301]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #01354300



NO, 'Tis IDM RELATED


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-05 21:21 [#01354304]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to weatheredstoner: #01354301



ON THE HEAP OF SCRAPPINESS IT NOW RESIDES!!

HA HA!!



Attached picture

 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2004-10-05 21:27 [#01354306]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #01354304



OH NOES!

I cant fine my "Revive" spell in this pile of
crap.


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-06 05:07 [#01354341]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



IDM Core Rule 976-4q
The following terms must be used at least six (6) times in
any discussion regarding Intelligent Dance Music:
-melody
-beautiful
-pretentious
-the 'tronica' suffix (see: folktronica, rocktronica,
treetronica, crabtronica)
-underrated
-underrated melody
-beautiful underrated melody

IDM Core Rule 480.a beta 6 (The Anti-IDM Rule)
The listener is prohibited at all times from disliking any
music that is not regarded as Intelligent Dance Music, or
that is presented as being "fun", "silly", or any similar
term. Failing to adhere to this rule will result in a
vulnerability to the remark outlined in the text IDM
Discussion: References and Quotes (Belch & Pusher, 1996),
pp1085
.

excerpt
"You don't like it? Oh, I guess it's not intelligent enough
for a pretentious IDM nerd like you, is it?"


 

offline Taxidermist from Black Grass on 2005-02-14 04:43 [#01497880]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule 97-4a

During any discussion about said music, the term
'electronica' must be used at least once, wherein the use of
that word and the person using it will get abruptly
disreaguarded by all others in said discussion.


 

offline furoi from Udine (Eriko Sato's undies) (Italy) on 2005-02-14 07:25 [#01498011]
Points: 1706 Status: Lurker



i've never seen these rules
wonderful!
haha
they are the truth lol


 

offline mappatazee from ¨y¨z¨| (Burkina Faso) on 2005-02-14 17:12 [#01498934]
Points: 14291 Status: Lurker



didn't you know that richard d james made most1 of spice
girls music when they where still alive?

what about them apples.


Ahahah. Good.


 

offline fleetmouse from Horny for Truth on 2005-02-14 17:18 [#01498939]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker



i like my bum


 

offline brokephones from Londontario on 2005-02-14 17:30 [#01498940]
Points: 6113 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule 830 (Revision 2)
When asking a producer of IDM who their musical influences
are, said producer must

a) state that they do not listen to music
b) ignore the question
c) claim a random pre-83 acoustic musician as their main
influence


 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2005-02-14 17:31 [#01498941]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



IDM Core Rule #1.6.8-III through VII

The early stuff that you heard ten years ago, is the best
stuff they have ever done. Notwithstanding, if hereafter,
said artist re-releases original material, you reserve the
right to claim a "sell out" and to revert to rubbishing
early work that you claimed before was superiour.


 

offline pomme de terre from obscure body in the SK System on 2005-02-14 17:35 [#01498947]
Points: 11941 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



IDM Core Rule: MSTR-P:09

You may only enjoy hip hop music if the emcee is caucasian.

______________________________________________
The section for official use only.


 

offline brokephones from Londontario on 2005-02-14 17:36 [#01498948]
Points: 6113 Status: Lurker | Followup to pomme de terre: #01498947



Really?


 

offline brokephones from Londontario on 2005-02-14 17:39 [#01498950]
Points: 6113 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule #1; The brokephones Insight
If you are Telefon Tel Aviv, all music made by you must
suck.


 

offline pomme de terre from obscure body in the SK System on 2005-02-14 17:52 [#01498957]
Points: 11941 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



IDM Core Rule: #2b

White men only please.

Caveat 1: Exceptions for women are made only when
they are bound by law to a successfull I.D.M. producer



 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2005-02-14 18:03 [#01498962]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule 7Fa

Any female that enjoys IDM is actually just a male
pretending to be a female, because as we all know, women
dont like anything but pop music.

IDM Core Rule 7Fb

Any woman that makes IDM music has only done so on accident.


 

offline iLoveIDM from London (United Kingdom) on 2005-02-14 18:13 [#01498967]
Points: 563 Status: Addict



http://boardsofcanada.iloveidm.com/x000.jpg


 

offline mappatazee from ¨y¨z¨| (Burkina Faso) on 2005-02-14 18:18 [#01498970]
Points: 14291 Status: Lurker



Caveat 1: Exceptions for women are made only when
they are bound by law to a successfull I.D.M. producer


Ahahah.


 

offline aneurySm from Ypsilanti (United States) on 2005-02-15 11:40 [#01499970]
Points: 1699 Status: Lurker



-- |IDM Core Rule $A000h| --

After spending five years or more listening to IDM create a
sarcastic rulebook making sure no one knows where anyone is
coming from. Attach random images that make you feel
better. Call the audiophyle fashion police and pray you
never back down from your convictions. Tell everyone you
know that pop culture makes you depressed and you would
rather spend time using fancy, mystery words like 'esoteric'
to create a cultural segregation.


 

offline aneurySm from Ypsilanti (United States) on 2005-02-15 11:49 [#01499973]
Points: 1699 Status: Lurker



-- |IDM Core Rule $A000h| --

After spending five years or more listening to IDM create a
sarcastic rulebook making sure no one knows where anyone is
coming from. Attach random images that make you feel
better. Call the audiophyle fashion police and pray you
never back down from your convictions. Tell everyone you
know that pop culture makes you depressed and you would
rather spend time using fancy, mystery words like 'esoteric'
to create a cultural segregation.


 

offline dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2005-02-15 11:58 [#01499980]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Followup to aneurySm: #01499973 | Show recordbag



"spend time using fancy, mystery words like 'esoteric'
" you could have replaced the words "fancy, mystery"
with the word "esoteric". Fancy that. But then you'd have
had to have put another word in place of "esoteric",
possibly "absterge"


 

offline Taxidermist from Black Grass on 2005-02-15 14:28 [#01500049]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker | Followup to pomme de terre: #01498947



IDM Core Rule: MSTR-P:09

You may only enjoy hip hop music if the emcee is
caucasian.


I think you forgot the core rule:mstr-p:09 subsection a
clause that states that the prestated rule does not count if
the emcee is MF Doom


 

offline aneurySm from Ypsilanti (United States) on 2005-02-16 02:15 [#01500726]
Points: 1699 Status: Lurker



IDM Core Rule: [autopilot] poopgroove

One must first forget what the IDM acronym stands for and
shun any who argues any artists' tracks "not danceable" or
"lacking any signs of intelligent musical design" i.e.
having a beat at all or utilizing ones understand of the
cross-calibration of melody, harmony and rhythm.

True patriots know indiginous people suck.


 

offline Exaph from United Kingdom on 2005-02-16 02:42 [#01500739]
Points: 3718 Status: Lurker



IDM Rore Cule: #02.30

Any long-awaited release by over-hyped 'artists' must have
at least 3 leaks and/or hoaxes of the said long-awaited
release in order to qualify for universal acclaim.


 

offline Exaph from United Kingdom on 2005-02-16 02:50 [#01500741]
Points: 3718 Status: Lurker



IDM Rore Cule: #02.30.10

New releases should be titled (or tilted) to accommodate
dyslexic fans, or fnas.


 

offline furoi from Udine (Eriko Sato's undies) (Italy) on 2005-02-16 03:20 [#01500762]
Points: 1706 Status: Lurker



[B]IDM Core Rule #stardate 49650.4[/B]

be sure to use a software dedicated to the generation of
random track titles, otherwise use your fucked mind when you
are drunk.



 

offline denniscpearce from Canada on 2005-02-16 03:29 [#01500768]
Points: 1562 Status: Regular | Followup to furoi: #01500762



what do you think this is? phpboard


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2005-02-16 03:39 [#01500775]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



Wow giginger exclamation mark How did you do that question
mark

rule # 43: qrter is a fag and is never to be associated with
idm or be an authority for its rules. If anyone sees a
qrter, immediately dig a large hole and push it in, being
careful to hold your nose and then bury him with grandmas
and dirt.


 

offline furoi from Udine (Eriko Sato's undies) (Italy) on 2005-02-16 03:41 [#01500778]
Points: 1706 Status: Lurker




teach me if you want
;)


 


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