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IDM Core Rulebook (2nd Edition) 1 2 » »\|

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 10:28 [#01352694]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #15a-2.0

If more than 100 copies of an album are pressed, said album

can NEVER be Very Good.

IDM Core Rule #15a-2.0.1 - sub-section

It is IMPERATIVE that when 100 copies or less are pressed of

an album, the holders of copy or copies of said album NEVER

make any CLEAR statements about said record.

If this ever does happen, said album IMMEDIATELY decreases
in quality, to a maximum of Kind of Good, In a Historical
and Dated Way.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 10:28 [#01352695]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #4398f (revised 1995)

Never reveal what records you actually own in case someone
from a higher IDM strata points out that they've got an
original unedited / promo / extra tracks / master tape
signed by the artist / import / better quality version.

researched by dog_belch

hobbes from age on 2004-10-04 10:30 [#01352699]
Points: 8168 Status: Lurker

*checks qrter's xltrecordbag*

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 10:31 [#01352700]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #09.a

For the use of titles and/or aliases, scrap almost ALL
vowels from the alphabet at that time in use.

IDM Core Rule #09.a-1 (revised 1998)

For the use of titles and/or aliases, create prosaic
sentences describing some form of image that preferably has
little to do with the actual audio created by the artist in
question.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 10:50 [#01352725]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #54.54++ (formerly "The Wang Gambit")

Claim that all an artists best material is the stuff that
hasn't been released, coyly hint that you have access to
this material.

virginpusher from County Clare on 2004-10-04 10:53 [#01352727]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker | Followup to dog_belch: #01352725

IDM Core Rule #54.54++ (subsection a1b)

Also make small vague comments to interested
users/individuals about said release and then provide no
further information. Make subtle hints that you might/could
be friends with the artist and that you "respect" their
wishes.

cuntychuck from Copenhagen (Denmark) on 2004-10-04 10:53 [#01352728]
Points: 8603 Status: Lurker

i hereby conclude this ridiculous.

roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2004-10-04 10:54 [#01352730]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker

daddy loves his babies

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 10:54 [#01352731]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #9

Make tracks that sound exactly like facsimiles of Boards of
Canada, but claim to have never heard them and that you're
only influenced by 80s electro, traditional japanese Gagaku
court music and an obscure / made up artist from the 70s.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 10:55 [#01352732]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #33a - 0.1.1.

When having bought one of the 4 remaining copies of some
supposedly Oh-So Very Excellent recording by any artist,
mention at every turn that you have said Ridiculously Rare
record and make VERY SURE that you do NOT make a high
quality rip to mp3 to share with the world.

Possible exception: make a very low quality mp3 rip, no
higher than 32 kb/s. Also make these rips edits of 60
seconds AT THE MOST.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 10:58 [#01352737]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #2

formerly known as the "King of the Hill" rule

When a new record is released in a Nauseatingly Limited Run
of 66 copies, buy at least 12 copies yourself, leaving 11 in
their wrapper, saying you are planning to give them away.

Wait at least four (4) years before selling these 11 copies
on eBay.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 11:01 [#01352740]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #8

Feel free to have all your mp3 backups of ultra rare
unreleased for family only tapes in your shared folder, but
by no means share them.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 11:22 [#01352756]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #8-1.1 (The Dobbin/Autechre Exception)

Offer to share said mp3 backups of ultra rare unreleased for
family only tapes to any person who obviously is NOT
interested in said artist AT ALL, thereby making sure that
said person will NEVER download said mp3 backups of ultra
rare
unreleased for family only tapes.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 11:28 [#01352766]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Followup to qrter: #01352756 | Show recordbag

Ah, as in "I was dobbined oooh, back in 1993, Rich was
offering around this tape of something called BOC. I'd had
heard enough of shit demos and put it straight in the bin.
Now of course I realise what a cunt I was".

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 11:37 [#01352777]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to dog_belch: #01352766

yes, or perhaps like this..

Aph3Xkid: fcuk I love robbie k
syphon911: okay
Aph3Xkid: man how he whips it up in uu8:hhder is just
so amazing
syphon911: right
Aph3Xkid: fukc I mean uu8:hjder LOL
Aph3Xkid: hey I have some ultra-rare choons of his
Aph3Xkid: if youd like
syphon911: oh
Aph3Xkid: I normally dont share
Aph3Xkid: but if youd like
syphon911: yeah okay sure
syphon911: whatever
Aph3Xkid: brb
..
Aph3Xkid: theyre shared now
syphon911: ?
Aph3Xkid: I shared thoserobbie k home tapes
syphon911: ?
Aph3Xkid: look in folder devils kitchen tapes
syphon911: oh
syphon911: right
Aph3Xkid: let me know when your done
Aph3Xkid: hello siphon
syphon911: yeah
syphon911: sure

ISayNothing from Mt. Pus (Sweden) on 2004-10-04 11:39 [#01352778]
Points: 575 Status: Regular

didn't you know that richard d james made most1 of spice
girls music when they where still alive?

what about them apples.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 12:07 [#01352806]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #444¹⁰

Really rate something that everyone else thinks is shit
(Smojphace, Gantz Graf, Ultravisitor) giving the impression
that your cultural sensibilites are that much more refined
than anyone else (even if you've only ever listened to half
of it, once).

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 12:14 [#01352812]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #7 (Completed Version)

Dislike new music produced by much-loved veteran artist.
Claim that it is "artsy-fartsy wank" and say things like
"where has all the melody gone!?".

Propose that said much-loved veteran artist should return to
their roots and make the EXACT same record they made when
they started out in 1991, except change one letter in the
title. Expect that this a very fair comment to make.

VERY IMPORTANT: When following the rule explained above,
NEVER see this as Your Own Problem. ALWAYS
hold the artist responsible, even better: BLAME the
artist for Ever Changing, The Bastard.

deepspace9mm from filth on 2004-10-04 12:21 [#01352832]
Points: 6846 Status: Addict

IDM Core Rule #44a Subsection A-B

You are encouraged, nay, authoritatively ordered to
use reversed samples. If anyone calls you unoriginal, make a
joke about them not being "intelligent" enough to "get" your
music. This statement must be followed by either a winking
smiley, or the phrase "j/k". Feel free to let your creative
wounds fester, though.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 12:23 [#01352837]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #7.1 (Law of Never being happy)

When artist does go back to their roots then complain
bitterly about lack of development, say there's a lot of
kids doing better stuff than this with just floops, it's
just not the same etc. Take time to mention several
non-existant German net labels.

giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-04 12:23 [#01352839]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #69b-8.3f^{2a^7j1t}

When talking about an "IDM" artist you must always insert a
rumour/lie so as to increase the mythological status of
artists.

For further details please see section 14i

1^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^9¹⁰}}}}}}}>

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 12:26 [#01352846]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #11, section 3.8B

Once every two weeks, pick one of the more reknown labels
and say they are Shit, for either not signing the artists
you'd like to see signed OR for not producing the same music
they were bringing out ten years ago. If so wished, both
reasons can be used at once.

Mention some lesser known, preferably completely unknown
labelnames to balance your statement. These labelnames are
allowed to be completely made-up. Noone cares anyway.

epohs from )C: on 2004-10-04 12:27 [#01352849]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker

IDM Core Rule #¾

If you don't like it, you just don't get it.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 12:27 [#01352851]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #59438

If your label has an act on its roster that no one likes,
but you still want to put out records by them, create a
"buzz" by saying thier new release is by an "unknown, secret
artist". Then get pissy if someone has the temerity to
suggest you were misleading people into buying something
shitty.

giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-04 12:30 [#01352855]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

1^{2^{1^{222^{3^{4^{5
^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4
^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3
^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2
^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211
^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876
543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^{9^{109876543211^{2^{3^{4^{5^{6^{7^{8^9¹⁰}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 12:31 [#01352856]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #1027 - v1.8

(latest revision added 02/2004)

Acquire serverspace encompassing something around 1 Gb and
start your own "netlabel".

Do everything in your power to make the name of said
"netlabel" to sound like a Real Label.

Talk about every bunch of mp3s one of your friends has made
and is being put up for download on your 1 Gb server as An
Album and/or A Release.

Make sure to never make the available mp3s of any quality
higher than 192 kb/s.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 12:32 [#01352857]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to giginger: #01352855

Very Pretty.

evolume from seattle (United States) on 2004-10-04 12:38 [#01352864]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular

IDM Core Rule # 777.6

The guitar shall not be present in any true IDM track with
the following exceptions:
1. The guitar is sampled.
2. The guitar is heavily processed, reversed, and/or burried
in it's own reverb.
3. The guitar is played by somebody who can't actually play
guitar. and is then heavily processed, reversed, and/or
burried in it's own reverb.

!!

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 12:38 [#01352865]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #ANALORD

Only the Grand High Wizard of IDM is allowed, after 3 years
of near silence, to release a series of mail order only 12"s
to be collected in an office ring binder. All lower echelons
(ie everybody) must content themselves with digipacks,
braile stickers and fold out booklettes of computer aided
design.

evolume from seattle (United States) on 2004-10-04 12:45 [#01352869]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular

IDM Core Rule # 8 26.9

Artists produce 'tracks' or 'trax' but only in rare cases,
'songs.'

evolume from seattle (United States) on 2004-10-04 12:50 [#01352876]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular

IDM Core Rule #44b-1.1.2

Remixes shall sound nothing like the original track.
Remixes shall always try to upstage the original track.
Remixes are to be more pretentious than the original track.

Exception: Remix is just the original track with an
accompanying house/acid/techno/etc... 4/4 beat pattern.

!!

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 12:51 [#01352877]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Followup to evolume: #01352869 | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule # 8 27.9

2 - 18 tracks/trax = EP

There is no such thing as an IDM single, only EP.

giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-04 12:51 [#01352878]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

Unofficial Core Rule which is printed in invisible ink:

You shall like everything by The Bug. Unfortunately this
rule is ignored by most people.

giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-04 12:52 [#01352880]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

Unofficial Core Rule which is printed in invisible ink:

You shall like everything by The Bug.
Unfortunately this
rule is ignored by most people.

DJ Xammax from not America on 2004-10-04 12:52 [#01352883]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker

IDM Core Rule # 708 408 10 43

You may directly rip-off Autechre, but you must first be
prepared to admit you are a completely boring bastard when
required.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 12:55 [#01352889]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule # 9038928BBBB (Hafler Trio remix)

8 minutes of aimless, uninteresting drone knocked out in 5
minutes then sold for $30 is entirely validated by
fancy, collectible sleeve artwork.

giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-04 12:55 [#01352892]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #798y

You must name your trax stupid names and sometimes even
nonsensical garbage.

DJ Xammax from not America on 2004-10-04 12:56 [#01352894]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker

IDM Core Rule # 16v17

You may push friendly American photographers when asking
politely for a snap, even if your refusal to comply is
unheard/misunderstood.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 13:01 [#01352905]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule # 16v17+

In fact, being a terrible cunt, is mandatory (unless
employing the Vibert Waiver)

giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2004-10-04 13:04 [#01352908]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #5N4R35

If lacking in talent you must release as many albums as
possible in the shortest time frame available so as to
maximise your potential as a seeling artist.

DJ Xammax from not America on 2004-10-04 13:08 [#01352915]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker | Followup to giginger: #01352908

pf from Finland on 2004-10-04 13:15 [#01352925]
Points: 3316 Status: Lurker

I'd have to say that these rules do not just apply for idm,
it goes for all "indie" music in my honest option

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 13:19 [#01352927]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #RDJ

You must forcibly interject Humour into your music/titles
etc.

VERY IMPORTANT: The earlier mentioned Humour must
under no circumstance actually be Funny IN ANY WAY. It must
be terribly tedious, disgustingly self-referential and
possibly laddish.

Possible exception: people who know the artist
DIRECTLY may possibly find the Humour as presented by
the artist Kind Of Agreeable, althought aforementioned
people who know the artist DIRECTLY are most likely Lying
Their Fucking Arse Off, to pander to the excrementally
unfunny artist.

see also: Forming Ones Own Mythic Persona Through The Use
of Non-Humour

Skink from A cesspool in eden on 2004-10-04 13:40 [#01352960]
Points: 7483 Status: Lurker

I would try to think of some but i can't so please post some
more these are hilarious.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 13:47 [#01352973]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

IDM Core Rule #448b/4

When presenting a new release as a label (note: this
concerns Real Labels only), be sure to provide with a
Regular Edition and a Limited Edition. The Limited Edition
must be something unuseful like: it's basically the same
album, this time in a digipack or a little but unwieldly
booklet.
The Limited Edition must cost fractionally more than the
Regular Edition of it's powers to take effect.

Be sure to print a LOT of the Limited Edition, so that in
the following 10 years to come the Limited Edition will
never sell out, thereby in no way actually being Limited.

At the 8-year mark, lower the price of the Limited Edition
to just over the price of the Regular Edition, to
further infuriate Loyal Fans.

qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 13:49 [#01352978]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to qrter: #01352973

ERRATUM re: IDM Core Rule #448b/4

In the sentence "The Limited Edition must cost
fractionally more than the Regular Edition of it's
powers to take effect.", the underlined "of should read
"or".

virginpusher from County Clare on 2004-10-04 14:10 [#01353017]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker

CORE RULE:

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wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge
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wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge
grant wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge grant
wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge
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wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge
grant wilson-claridge grant wilson-claridge grant wils

virginpusher from County Clare on 2004-10-04 14:11 [#01353019]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker

grant wilson-claridge
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omgomgomgom
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qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2004-10-04 14:13 [#01353024]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator

yes, Brian, I don't think you've grasped the concept of this
thread yet.

dog_belch from Netherlands, The on 2004-10-04 14:32 [#01353058]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag

IDM Core Rule #09940

Unless you're going to make a career out of it, you can only
release one noise based recording. Granular
breakdowns count as 2 points towards a total of 10
points before a fine is incurred.

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