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 Now online (1)dariusgriffin ...and 124 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613412 Today 4 Topics 127499 |
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talks about synthesis but cant reply in less than 5000 words. |
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reading his posts when i have the patience is like sifting through a quarry full of sand to find the occasional nugget of interest it would be unfair of me to pick on him as im sure he is quite fragile like the rest of us in some regard i like the fact we have such varying personalities on here, i must admit i have no idea what he is talking about 75% of the time but they again i have a preponderance to talk absolute bollocks |
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epic #MAGA tracks epic he's the good posts guy |
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seriously though don't go in on epic, he's probably the least malicious person here, and he's thoughest poster (only xltronic kids will remember thoughest poster) |
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he talks like he had a pronounced forehead. |
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a fivehead, even |
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the beautiful and terrible thing about a situation like this is you're free to go back to 2011 or 2012 when i drunk, tripping, and acting like a complete asshole at times. only at times... i remember i was on xltronic, essentially liveposting when the boston marathon bombing happened. that was not one of my asshole days... but, yes, quite a few were, back then. at the time, i believed in myself and what i was doing (hauling ass in the studio) but i was frustrated i wasn't getting more attention for it. my life was beginning to fall down around my ears because i'd plowed everything i had into the studio and let everything else go to shit. letting work go undone. getting fat. a five-year relationship on the rocks because we encouraged each others' drinking and i was getting fat, making less money, and disappearing into the studio for days on end. yet, during this time, i produced some of the finest stuff i've ever written. this is not hindsight; i more or less knew immediately that it was a cut above what i'd done before. i feel like i could have gone further had things not fallen apart... so, when they did, yes, i was pretty angry. by 2013 i had a lot more asshole days. 2017 ~ the last few years have been horrid, frustrating shit. a long, slow slog cleaning up the huge mess i've made for myself. i'm deeply in debt, still... behind on work... tax season looms; so does an anxiety attack. other peoples' shit can be even worse than mine: my parents were always certifiable, but now they're getting old and have become genuinely terrible. but i'm not fat anymore. i quit drinking. got laid a couple times and got over my ex. i'm still pretty angry, frustrated, and depressed, some days, but now i dance for two hours instead of being a whiny cunt like AMPI. zang |
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anyways, i have a pretty good memory. having a good memory means remembering your asshole days in crystal clarity. that's more or less what keeps me in check these days |
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good to hear, hope you manage to get out of debt can be a massive mill stone around you neck, have you thought about becoming an internet evangelist, you would probably get out of debt quite quickly |
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like the creflo dollar prick, if he can do it anyone can |
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do you have health insurance? i get depressed quite often, i never get angry for some reason, i havent been angry for about 15 years its great |
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ive come to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with the occasional depression, its definitely part of the human condition, i would worry if i was getting angry, my dad got angry alot when he drank. i think that needs eliminating whatever is causing your frustration, it gnaws away at your health |
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epic thinks he's onstage at TED --fleetmouse i've said this on here : this is more or less a form of therapy for me. it's more or less the same as smoking weed: i'd tell myself, "goddamn it! stop wasting time on this shit! get your life together!" and i'd quit one or both for weeks or months and feel horrid and "relapse." eventually i realized that a bit of both each day is super-critical to my well-being (along with lots of exercise) and i've stopped beating myself up over it. i just let go and spew whatever comes to mind. you're free to read it or not. i obviously appreciate it when people plow through the mess. heck, it surpises me anyone does there are fringe benefits i never anticipated: i can google my thoughts from 2011, link them in threads, weave everything together a little better... if i were imagining myself speaking at TED, it'd be |
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ive come to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with the occasional depression, its definitely part of the human condition, i would worry if i was getting angry, my dad got angry alot when he drank. i think that needs eliminating whatever is causing your frustration, it gnaws away at your health both drink and depression are complicated matters, and interwoven. if your best mate buys it in a plane crash... well, shit, if you're not depressed, you probably have deep psychological issues. this is normal. it's unpleasant, but it's not a problem. it is a problem if you take it out on others, though -- if you get mad instead of depressed and decide the airline is to blame for your friends death; start harassing them... well, that's being an asshole to deal with your grief, and it's not fair to other people. alcohol will stave off the misery at the expense of doubling it when the booze wears off, as drains your brain of happy chemicals. alcohol in and of itself never made me angry, but it did cause a cycle that resulted in me being more angry in general thank god my parents don't drink; never have. if they were alky i'd probably have wound up a smackhead or something |
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yes my dad was quite a bad alcoholic, think the post war british drinking culture didnt help |
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bit of a jekyll and hyde persona, when he was drunk his frustrations would come out, put me off booze for life |
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jesus christ |
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im gonna take a deep breath and try to read that |
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it was a good read actually, except the usual self pompous shit about the music you have never shown. |
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I don't like the cunt. The fact that he's fat, in debt and can't get a shag just makes it funnier. Oh but, sure, he can be meta about synth manuals, that'll keep you warm at night. |
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this is all a bit like schoolyard bullying, you can deny it all you want but just reflects that you might be sociopaths or something so your the real cunts |
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i must be mad to post on here fucking hell how old are you lot |
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change ur avatar or i give you a dead leg |
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"of course i'm going to get some shit for writing that up," i thought. "of course ampi will not appreciate it; that will take a few years." then i saw SignedInToLoL had SignedInToLoL and i was stroking my chin: how is he going to react? we had quite a few spats in those days... i figure he understands better than ampi does, though, so i didn't expect anything too harsh. now that i've read it, i'm just wondering: did he skip the second half of my post, or did he read it and then pretend he didn't? am i supposed to come back and insist: no, it's just the debt, the other two issues mentioned (fat, unlaid) have been taken care-of |
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change ur avatar or i give you a dead leg your puppy teef won't get through my socks. they're put on too properly for that |
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last night, one of my roommates suggested i put some of my cardboard art up for sale on etsy. i shit you not (remember? i'm too high-velocity? or something like that) |
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I would like it too if you could change avatar. I really hate it. |
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I never imagined you as having roommates right now. Is it a sitcom life? |
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mohamed's doing it to me too: am i supposed to come back and insist: i've posted lots of my music. 3/5 of the best stuff from 2011-13 is and . i meant to release the other 2/5 but my life went to shit and i haven't had time to arrange it into albums. i've posted a bunch of the unreleased fings here or does he know that already |
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~ hey you guys! hey you guys! listen2metalk! isigneduptolol! a mix of fondness and sadness in that one, which is one of my favorites. the whole of "dorsal nexas" is rather depressed and stewkeying in its own autistic farts but beautiful cage seemed tolerable to people anyways |
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yeah i know that, i dont like your attitude with music as you seem to speak like you were actually squarepusher but nm, its my conviction that should be humble |
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I never imagined you as having roommates right now. Is it a sitcom life? more like a psych ward. we even joke about it... both of 'em are my friends; not strange moroccan ladies. we're splitting it up purely for financial reasons. known one for two years and the other for three. all three of us have mental health issues. a paranoid schizophrenic and a pair of ADD/depression cases. we're quite the team. everyone pitches in for the dishes and they never pile up. one day someone just decides to clean the bathroom because it needs cleaning... then, other days, we're all having flareups and it's like a page out of jung's red book i definitely prefer to live alone but you can't argue with the economics |
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yeah i know that, i dont like your attitude with music as you seem to speak like you were actually squarepusher but nm, its my conviction that should be humble this is another kanish situation. it's an ungettable reference. it's a joke. the joke is this: 1) squarepusher is the joke 2) i am squarepusher 3) i am the joke i'm not actually squarepusher. i can't play bass for shit. just, you know all the jokes about squarepusher that people post on the internet? the bulk of them tend to apply to me just as well as him |
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is there a post of yours that isnt actually a joke? |
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I knew I had found the one when I first walked into my shrink's office and saw a rather lovely edition of the Red Book more or less on display. It's massive! |
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Easy now! |
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and an arguably more "gettable" squarepusher joke |
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im gonna listen 2 ur spam now epic wait a sec |
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yeah, i will listen to them later as well |
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the cover art is photos i took of cardboard bits around the house collaged together in photoshop. zilty was very much on my mind throughout that album. |
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russel's already heard dorsal nexus, i vaguely remember. he's off the hook for my feigned ampi max histrionics when you guys get back to reply after a listen |
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hatahathat passed my humbleness test, he can pass on to the next xltronic level |
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Yes I remember it all well, and talking of remembering: I will always smile when I think of the title Ebeneezer Bees. |
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quite a music library. nice cover art. i downloaded 'dorsal nexus' as you mentioned it, will check track 4 quickly before going to bed |
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sounds about right. |
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why is everyone converging on epic all of a sudden? he doesn't bother me. I've gotten used to scrolling past his walls of text. He's a little self serving, but then who isnt? If posting here helps you get through your shit I'm all for it. Even if it does indirectly hurt people's feelings. |
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I guess it's some kind of millennial thing where people attempt to overcompensate for that that they don't possess (being unemployed, fat, unfuckable, witless, having done nothing and are unlikable), so they just post obfuscation and verbose dissemblance in a bid to disguise they have little or nothing to say. Cute, but dull. |
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it was epic to tingle ampi first. thats why i felt the right to check if he was one of those passive aggressive assholes. |
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