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Members 8025Messages 2614116 Today 2 Topics 127542 |
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Homer to Lisa: "Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle." So fuckin classic....=) |
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hahaha |
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Not a Simpson line but still a classic Mickey: "oh right Mouth like the time you said Micheal Jackson used your bathroom" Mouth: "OK.Micheal Jackson didnt come to use my bathroom, but his sister did" the Goonies best 80's flix till this day |
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This is from the episode where Krusty bets with his daughters violin. He says, speaking of his daughter, something like, "She even fell for the got-your-nose bit." Homer: "My uncle still has MY nose..." I love homer. ^_^ |
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homer, when about to launch his second attempt at a rocket: "the word unblowupable is thrown around all too often these days" *KABOOM!* |
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homer's daycare episode: Homer (singing): if you're happy and you know it say a swear Nelson: boob Milhouse: hiney! Ralph: mitten! ralph rocks. ralph for president! |
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A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo? |
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Bart using his imagination which has been ruined by television: Skinner: "Children today instead of going to the box factory, we're taking a field trip to the.... box factory." |
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Homer: "Ahhh... Another day, another box of stolen pens." Homer throws box of pens into backseat of car, which is filled with boxes of pens. Ink stains on car upholstery.. |
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"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" |
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Homer to Lisa: "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." |
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Ralph : "And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life." |
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Nelson : AHH !! |
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must kill moe, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
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the old beardy dude.. "i´m getting mighty sick of this!" |
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[Apu is shot.] Apu: Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Bart: Milhouse, what happened?! You were supposed to be watching the factory! Milhouse: I was watchin'. First it started to fall over, then it fell over. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, your sexual harassment suit is exactly what I need to help rebuild my shattered practice. Care to join me in a belt of scotch? Marge: But it's only 9:30 in the morning! Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Lisa: I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad. Homer: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Marge: There's no shame in being a pariah. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- [On working at the DMV.] Patty: Some days we don't let the line move at all. Selma: Yeah, we call those WEEKdays. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Kent Brockman: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work! ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Bart: I've said it before, and I'll say it again...aye carumba! ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet? Homer: Well, it's not quite a mo |
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Dealer: 19. Homer: Hit me! Dealer: 20. Homer: Hit me! Dealer: 21. Homer: Hit me! Dealer: 22. Homer: D'oh! |
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as you can see, I gave up |
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Lisa: I like him! He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance... Homer: [walking by] My ears are burning. Lisa: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad. Homer: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip. Marge: Mmm... |
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Marge: So Mr King, what tale of horror and the macabre are you working on now? Steven King: Actually, I'm taking a break from horror for the time being. Marge: Oh, that's too bad. Steven King: At the moment I'm working on a biography of Benjamin Franklin. He was a fascinating man who discovered electricity, and used it to torture children and green mountain men. And that key he tied to a kite - it opened the gates to Hell! Marge: Well, when you go back to horror will you let me know? Steven King: Will do. |
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Homer: "Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button." |
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Homer to Lisa: "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such." |
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Homer : You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know what to do! FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINATOWN! ^^ |
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Homer: We have a kitchen???!??!?! from the potsmoking episode |
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one of the only things that makes me genuinely laugh out loud (even when im alone). these cheer me up. what genius those writers are. |
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I'll always laugh in that Halloween episode where Homer kicks open the door really fast and says "Hello!". That'd be such a cool thing to do. |
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Tons here also.... Bumpity Bump |
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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. |
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Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau? Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it. Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles. I love that one. |
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i wonder i someone have mentioned eat my shorts |
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Baron: Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. |
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Homer - "I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight." |
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Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants." Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son." |
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Been hunting for this thread so thanks to plaidzebra for helping me find it. This episode was on tonight and I love it, sorry if its already been in this thread but.... [the Simpsons are in an office with two FBI men letting them know about going to the federal witness protection program] FBI man 1: All right, Homer, now your name is Mr. Thompson, so when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi. Homer: Check! FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson. [homer stares blankly] FBI man 1: [pause] FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Mr. Thompson. Homer: Gotcha! FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson. [again Homer stares blankly] FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other] [hours pass by] FBI man 1: [frustrated] ARGH... Now when I step on your foot and say your name, you smile and nod. Homer: I got it. [stepping on Homer's foot] FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson. [Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds] Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he talking to you. |
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Lisa: Bart, I'm here for you, but I'm not going to break into somebody's house. Bart: All right, you're right, you're right, let's, let's just forget about that. Here: let me read to you from my play. Ahem. [cockney] "`Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithin's Day already?' 'Tis,' replied Aunt Helga" -- Lisa: I'm going, I'm going! |
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it may have been already said but here goes (it's worth mentioning multiple times): The dolphins are attacking and one of them gets trapped in a volleyball net: "They've got traps!, retreat!" (panicky) the main dolphin goes to the trapped dolphin and rips the net off him and slaps him. Im rolf at this point in time. |
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Bart: Man the torpedos! Grandpa: Did he say put on our tuxedos? Old man: I want some tacitos! (When Bart does community service) |
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Nelsons laugh is hilarious Everytime Homer opens his mouth I laugh but a scene that comes to my mind is when Homer is using Bart to try and get Burns fortune. He writes Barts speech complete with spelling mistakes. Although the paper reads 'Mr Curns', Bart notices this and says 'Burns'. Homer shouts to him 'It's Curns!' |
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HOMER - "Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?" |
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Grandpa - "I didn't die in World War II just to be pushed around by some pill hoarding hussy." |
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Homer - "I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb." |
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Lisa: You were in a coma, and we had to feed you through a hose (she pulls out a hose the size of a draining pipe, and a roasted chicken pops out) Homer: My body is like a temple (then he lights up a stick of butter) |
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Does anybody else have the DVD box sets and listen to the commentaries by the cast and crew? They're all really nice people, and frickin hilarious when they're in the same room. Al Jean and Mike Reiss are by far the funniest and most genuine. Both of them have really distinct, recognisable voices. The cast is really inspiring to listen to as well, Dan Castellaneta is so versatile in his vocal range. Sorry to not contribute an actual Simpsons line! That's a pretty poor effort considering I have seasons 1-5. Ahhh I'll think of something soon :) |
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episode 5 season 9 the scene when safetyalarm seller is selling an alarm to homer seller: a lot of companys provide systems that look good but dont provide any protection homer: oh lets get that seller: surely you cant but a price on your family lifes homer: i wouldnt though so eather but here we are and then the scene when homer is going to buy a gun homer: i want to buy your deadliest gun please seller: ill six next to the sympathi cards homer: waving with his gun and shooting at the seller seller: hee hoo be carefull homer: i dont have to be carefull i have a gun seller: you probably want the accesory kit homer: holster ooyeah silencer loudener speedcocker yeah seller: and this is for shooting helicopters homer: well i dont need anything like that YET homer: just give me my gun seller: well the law requires a five day waiting period homer: five days but im mad now fucking hilarious |
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Homer: "Hello, My name is Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me." Post Office guy: "What's your first name sir?" Homer: "I don't...knoooow." |
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