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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2016-12-30 18:08 [#02509741]
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hello, i just discovered theres a spider in the corner of the ceiling, its medium-small big, with transparent legs. its not annoying but i dont want him to grow too many webs, there are some already. freqy, what to do?
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freqy
on 2016-12-30 18:23 [#02509742]
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hi
I would get a glass pint size or wide jam jar.....and a piece of paper
put a chair underneath, stand on chair, place glass over him and slide paper between glass and ceiling to capture him....then you can take him outside. : )
unless you want to keep him as a pet?
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2016-12-30 18:30 [#02509743]
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that some rescue mission i have to do there. its too high for just a chair, will use a stair. ill leave him there for now, maybe next year. thanks for the advice freqy merry new year
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2016-12-30 18:37 [#02509744]
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(i still kill stink bugs, those mothercukers)
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2016-12-30 18:39 [#02509745]
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couldn't correct a motherfucking f
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freqy
on 2016-12-30 22:13 [#02509746]
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thats o.k dont shed a tear even if spidey climbs in your ear if he climbs out the other side do not fear as long as he doesn’t eat your brain ..you can still cheer
oh spidey dear, oh spidey dear, look after mohams and eat dont make to many cob webs this year.
: )
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2016-12-30 23:44 [#02509758]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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the other night a moth was inside as i was kickin' it outside (violin solo). i almost just mashed it. oh... you poor bastard. should i get a jar? no, no, i've done that. it will not end well...
jarring moths is a pain in the ass. they don't appreciate being liberated at all. if you fail to capture them by surprise on the first jardown, the subsequent chase will almost certainly get your pulse up. once you've got it, you take it outside, and... shake. shakeshake. shakakaa. C'MON. maybe if i blow on ipppPPFFF shit. the littl' jerk refuses to detach from the mayonaise jar i've lovingly selected to carry him to freedom! fine. be that way. leave jar out on porch. six hours later, moth is still in jar. no, no sir.
so, perhaps it should be a squish. can't save 'em all. only fat kids chin-up at the end of bbq bag... but, heck, i don't want to make freqy sad. i stared at it for another half second before, as usual, the goopy oils that power my thoughtproccers filtered down through the sedement and collected in a giant tank labelled "engineering metaphors." oh! i know
i opened the turkish door ever so gently, and began to line up my shot. i think i even squinted dramatically, even though no one was about except me 'n moth (violin solo). but, heck, i use this door more often than i shit. i know its harmonic friction coefficients and this absolutely must be copacetic. there's no excuse for it not to be. heck, why am i even worrying? i got this
WHAM
the moth flips a shit. flies off of the inside of sliding door and starts dodging the jar i don't have. gets fucking confused. disoriented. in times of confusion, moths seek the light. it was daytime. the moth flew out the door. i deftly slid in and closed it shut before the littl' jerk knew what was upside solo
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2016-12-30 23:45 [#02509759]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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the metaphor was: percussive maintenence
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2016-12-30 23:49 [#02509760]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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untangent: neal stephenson had a lovely passage in cryptonomicon about how absolutely impossible spiders are to fool. try to poke their web and get their attention.... and, yes, the spider will flatly ignore you right up until you lose patience and move to poking the spider instead of its web. spook a spider? you'd have more luck trying to bum cigarettes off of kanye west
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-03 21:00 [#02509981]
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i just throw a stink bug out of my room. yes we're in january and they're still here. anyway, i did one of my rescue operations with the broom, if you put the brushes near the stink bug when it flies near the light it sticks inside them, i dont know why but they are attracted by it, it always worked since i was a kid. then you can calmly throw it outiside. i shared this story cos before i activated with the broom i had a quick look at the spider hoping he would take care of it.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-05 21:39 [#02510066]
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lol, the spider is gone. must have been the strong wind this morning while i left the window opened
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-05 21:43 [#02510067]
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now i can take those fucking webs off
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-05 21:46 [#02510068]
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strange that the wind carried him somewhere and the webs are still there, are they that resistant? maybe he saw the sun and fled from the room by his own
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-05 21:47 [#02510069]
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good luck, spider!
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freqy
on 2017-01-06 00:21 [#02510077]
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Happy sailing Spidey, good luck on your flight in the wind this new year.
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-06 00:23 [#02510078]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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put a sultana or raisin with eyelashes for legs into its web and it will think it has a territorial rival, and should soon up sticks and move on
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-08 12:20 [#02510161]
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hes still here, on the opposite corner of the room
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-08 22:52 [#02510167]
Points: 21419 Status: Regular
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Cranberry cracker crack, specificially designed for crackers to eat with cracker crumbs. There's 3 flavors. Marmaset Marshmellow, Cranberry Crack Crush Crunch and Titberry Marmalade Meaty Treat.
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-08 23:55 [#02510170]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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id rather have a bowl of coco pops
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-08 23:55 [#02510171]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02510161
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jump in its web with it and bounce around
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-09 17:27 [#02510178]
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he disappeared again.. lurking into one of the room deepest corners.. always on the move..
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 00:53 [#02510222]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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^ when your asleep he is getting into your underwear draw and crawling around the gusset of your y fronts for fun,
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:04 [#02510227]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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guesset y fronts. isn't that a wagon christ track
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:06 [#02510228]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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i know a track called porno shirtwee
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:09 [#02510229]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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that track gets repetitive fast
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:10 [#02510230]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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guesset y fronts is a sample of feelings of a new level of low-down-ness that has been achieved.
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:11 [#02510231]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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yeah when you said repetitive i wondered if it was the one with the annoying woodwind thing and it is
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:13 [#02510232]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02510230
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well if your talking about ones with intractable skid marks in then yes
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:14 [#02510233]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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it does the yo-yo motion pleasantly; it does. but then one becomes so yo-yo'd out: yo, no more yo-yo! turn that yo down
into low down
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:15 [#02510234]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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skid marks are determined to have been sampled from four spinning discs somewhere north of cornwall
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:18 [#02510235]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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some gentlemen are very selective with their fronts and disco spinners. others need da whistle 'cos da whistle go woo. yo
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:20 [#02510236]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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you know, i can't think of a single luke vibert track about spiders. perhaps that's the secret to the man's popularity
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:23 [#02510237]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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a fate worse than death?
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:23 [#02510238]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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LAZY_TITLE
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-17 19:25 [#02510511]
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we met in the bathroom this morning, he was standing on a corner, then i went to take a shit after coming back from work and i find him trapped in the bath tub, trying to climb it but falling down cos its to slippery for his long legs, so i did one of my rescue mission with a piece of toilet paper i take him out then he falls down from the toilet paper to the ground, didnt want to come back on it, i wanted to put it inside the junk room but i did leave it to his destiny.
i the meantime i killed a stink bug, saved some
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-17 20:00 [#02510521]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02510511
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i started reading that post thinking you were speaking about luke vibert and i got to "to [sic] slippery for his long legs" before i realized i'd made some sort of grave mistake in constructing the sphere of context through which to view mohamzle's po'tizzle. at least he stilled a think bug
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-17 20:02 [#02510522]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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but, really, who hasn't come home from work to find luke vibert trapped in their bathtub once or twice. with his long legs
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-17 21:04 [#02510528]
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haha
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-17 23:54 [#02510584]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02510522
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he looks more like the sort that would break into your garden shed and use it as a hovel
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-18 00:00 [#02510588]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i'm sure he would, if he could get out of the bathtub
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-22 20:02 [#02510940]
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he moved from the bathroom back to my room, i saw him standing in a corner yesterday, today in the opposite side of the room, low, neat the heater. anyone with a name for him?
heres a pic: unnamed spider
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-22 20:04 [#02510942]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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maybe jeremy or ezequiel?
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-22 20:09 [#02510945]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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Rupert Miles bonepad the 3rd
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-22 20:34 [#02510960]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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Archibald St. John Smythe
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-22 20:35 [#02510961]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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Leonardo de ragno Ravenelli
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-23 19:48 [#02511031]
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hhaha
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belb
from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2017-01-23 20:06 [#02511034]
Points: 6384 Status: Lurker
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call him spidey mcspideypants
or dobbin
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-23 20:07 [#02511037]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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yes dobbin is good
Sir Dobbin Josephat, Hieronymus Blanchard of the resplendent knock knees
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-23 20:19 [#02511044]
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lets go for dobbin archibald mctits
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2017-01-23 20:22 [#02511045]
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Sir dobbin archibald mctits josephat
lulz
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