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EpicMegatrax writes more bullshit
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 16:32 [#02634065]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634005



then i got in my car and put that album on and drove a
few hours out to see Dan and the civic had replacement
speakers that weren't quite right; impedance mismatch. if i
turned the stereo up it would start to get distorted instead
of louder. then the AC doesn't work and this is july or
august or something and so it actually winds up that chris
clark is the only music possible to enjoy in this car at
90mph driving to see future Dan because that ceramic
transient everyone argues about was the only fucking thing
that actually cut through in a satisfying way


...and, christ, yes. impedance is AC resistance and
the AC doesn't work. that yesterday i'm already deciding
there's some secrets about time dilation and psychedelia and
the mammal brain in the transients in music; the gating.
then, it's like: the impedance mismatch between the
aftermarket car stereo and the shit wrong offbrand speakers,
this will actually have some mathematical reason that ties
into why clark was still clark through that barrier, and
this is also what i want for that thing about transients,
and there will be more than that in there, and this is where
my fail at calculus stops me from getting too into
electrical engineering but now i'm getting a sort of
synaesthetic visualization about the difference between DC
and AC resistance and maybe i'll take another stab at analog
circuit design. or at least reading about it and attempting
to get further than i have


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 17:05 [#02634066]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



crows again

i have crafted a unix command ~/bin/decrow that allows me to
specify a few parameters like frequency and duty cycle. this
then goes up to pi 4 in the attic connected to an amplifier,
a loudspeaker, and cameras.

i'll sit there and experiment with which frequencies
irritate crows the most. i've learned that certain
frequencies will set all the neighborhood dogs off. i avoid
those because i'm trying to be polite [except when that nosy
guy is having his stupid dogs take a dump on the lawn again,
sampler brain is just adamant i startle them mid-poop with a
*thwoomp* sound effect from a 90s video game, but no, i
cannot start trolling people with this, that is not what
it is for and it will just get me into trouble
]

i'm on the porch now and doing it the old, manual way.
where, it's like the austin powers "zip it" scene -- wait
until someone is about to speak; start to talk over them.
nail the timing enough times in a row and it's the most
incredibly annoying thing ever
but it's all about
timing. if you can't nail the timing you cannot pull it off

nailing the timing is a chess game of minds involving layers
of all the previous rounds of timing. and so i've learned
that certain mouth noises, so quiet you couldn't hear them
unless you were standing in the yard, used with such timing,
can actually drive off crows far enough that i can no longer
hear them.

but that takes patience. up to two or three minutes of being
clear-minded and nailing the timing and not getting mad. and
i did it again just now, i drove them all off. and i can
tell when it's working because the noises they make become
decidedly more crabby and annoyed and i have you bitches
now. but for most days i have a loudspeaker


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 17:08 [#02634067]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



now, i'm thinking: i've tried to come up with a way to
program a computer to do this for me. there is still timing
going on when i trigger the loudspeaker; i'm still doing
that manually. i simply don't have to get off my ass and go
outside [AGAIN, ugh].

going into this design; how do i program a computer to do
this same thing... i get lost in stacking timing layers and
i've never really cracked it; come up with a way i could sit
down and turn it into working code. and now -- i think i
need a quantum computer for that level of rhythm.

the flip side of that coin is that's why they interrupt my
thought so badly. i think crows have a bit of quantum too.
they live for years and have families of sorts and if
they're bad enough i'll go out on a walk and stare at them,
they know you are staring and it bothers them and eventually
they fly off. after a year or two they know me now and this
actually makes them leave quicker when i start to rastle
them


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 18:07 [#02634068]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i think it's also just part of everything i'm working on,
and, as an operational amplifier of sorts, that is important
and i need it and so it makes it extra easy for them to make
me lose my train of thought. then it's bothered me a lot and
this has been research and study going back to 2016 and i'm
reading like "no one is really sure if" and i'm sure to the
point of "are you kidding me, that's all you have? i didn't
even want to learn this"

this flock, this round, i even recognize a few individual
crows. there's this big aggressive one with a nicked left
wing and i swear to god that's the brains behind the outfit.
because once he started toying around with hanging about but
not being so loud, that's when it started to more become a
thing with the rest of the crows

and i'm okay with that compromise. it was never about trying
to destroy them, just solve how much the noise bothers me


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 18:10 [#02634069]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i guess that's essentially shamanism at its core. cringe


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 18:57 [#02634071]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



multiple times when i've gotten a cold i've thought back to
some moment immediately, and said to myself "that was it,
right there, that's where i got infected"

and to be fair, many times i have no fucking clue. or it
comes to me later... but eventually, it began to happen,
like: shit, i think i may have just caught a cold

i've climbed up the spiral far enough to recognize the
pattern from some sort of cues my mind is sifting through.
and then i sift through what it's sifting through and
nothing is outrageous here at all

this guy has been working at the liquor 'n' groceries nearby
for... years, perhaps. he could be my age but looks ten
years older. i really think he does coke. it's not just that
he's always seemingly snorting and coughing into his hands,
but it's the way he talks, the pattern of eye contact, and
just a sort of ground-down attitude i recognize from a spurt
living with some blue collar sorts who were stuck in a
spiral of doing coke after work at their dead end job and
then it's ten years later and it's very depressing at that
point because well at least they have coke but that's what
keeps them in that pit. and he's not lit out of his mind,
probably not even high on the job. but he was up late last
night and his immune system is run down and he doesn't give
a fuck about anything

and just now. fuck. that'll be the second time... and i'm
blowing my nose. i think: yes, this hasn't happened yet, for
sure. but this is the point where it could. and clear out my
nose. that i'm recognizing the pattern and if i just assume
it is correct straight off [and not a warning] i will
blindly follow the pattern like a reliable plan and come
down with a cold

and i still may but this attitude is my best shot out of it.
and getting some extra sleep and a vitamin pill


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 19:46 [#02634073]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



so, back to the crows. this one crow for which i get this
sense of, "that one's in charge" but it's actually more like
"he's figuring this out and the others are following" and
this is from the part of my brain that is just vomiting out
an unfiltered conclusion i do not entirely understand
myself. and i have to explain it. and perhaps that's where
he's at too. the conclusion to be around my house, but
actually not make any real noise, sort of just vomited out
and he's trying it. and the rest of the crows are the back
of his brain figuring out what he's doing when he's done
such a strange thing as to perch here and not CAW CAW all
the fuck over like is his natural wont. since he's quiet the
other crows don't caw back. then off somewhere another crow
spots a dog and CAW CAW and i hear it off in the distance
and switch on the crow annoyer and as he's flying off he
things "oh, i see"

so perhaps, using a hive mind of sorts, you can do a slower
version of the quantum matrix. or they have the same thing
but it's far more primitive and enough to come to the table
but i never get the sense that it's hard to outsmart these
things. they're just persistent as all fuck


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 19:50 [#02634074]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



then i recall when i discovered the mouth-noise trick. lying
in a sleep fog at 5am trying anything to make them stop that
would not be loud enough to wake anything else. since 5am
was that flock's favorite time to be literally right outside
my window, and i am not a morning person, i am repeatedly in
this situation where i am half asleep and doing this
rhythmic chess thing to get them to fuck off. and i start to
see them all in a 3D sense, like, oh, there's one over here,
one over there, that one's further off. then it clarifies to
the point of "that's the leading edge" and "if i can piss
that one off..." and sure enough, i focus my rhythmic
fuckery on him and when he gets pissed and leaves, the whole
bunch rolls off like a tumbleweed. and then i got into
writing how they're sort of like a cluster of neurons
perhaps

it's obviously a few orders of complexity atop of neurons
but that's still about right


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 19:55 [#02634075]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i've been seeing them in the cameras as i've been writing
but they've gotten the hint for now and i haven't had to
turn the speaker on. who knows how long it will actually
last


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 19:57 [#02634076]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



for a while i'd bug them even if i simply saw them hanging
about, because in an operant conditioning sense, that sinks
it in deeper... but then that's also getting towards
vindictive. and maybe aiming for a stalemate is less work in
the long run


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 20:29 [#02634077]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



oh, that clerk has done that whole thing to me before. i
don't think i got sick that time. i'm only this deep into
analyzing who he is because he's been working there for two
years at least and from just going in to buy a drink i've
accumulated a lot of data and had countless times to stew on
it as my blood is pumping fully on the walk home. and so
we've far more thought that i'd usually put into a clerk at
the store


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 20:55 [#02634078]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



current feel ~ in a sense, yes, i am caching stuff in and
out because this is too large for me to have in my head all
at once... but that also that process of caching things in
and out is the process of me assembling the pieces of
the pieces into slightly larger pieces. it's both, they are
the same. probably

because i think i had it much more directly this time -- AC
resistance, an impedance mismatch leading to poor power
transfer, why clark's music still comes through in a system
like that where turning it up makes it more distorted, not
louder, and how gating and transients may hold the secrets
to really tripping people the fuck out with music. and i'm
not sure i was that far last time; that needed the whole arc
with infected mushroom, which leads back to IDM Dan and that
being what i would retroactively call a halfway
synchronicity. it wasn't really one, but it was most of the
way there and the odd coincidence delighted me and i began
banging on it. and it's still not really a full
synchronicity but things got weird with my writing

but loading all that through, alright, back to the science
of hearing. and how audio happens so fast that using stereo
timing differences between ears to judge direction shouldn't
be possible due to the timing, but somehow happens anyways.
my theory was/is that it's a running context and it's more
about a fuzzy running summary of all sounds that.. leads to
a cue in the running stream of data, allowing us to make
assumptions, guesses, in a strategic way, and thus beat the
clock.

so now, here, perhaps this also uses the quantum matrix. and
what is the refresh cycle of this thing? is there one? or is
it just sort of a constant glow? and i haven't defined these
yet because i know to just sip at this, and that's where i
start to need to actually understand some physics


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 20:57 [#02634079]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



the crows farted off again as i was writing that. they're
about a few houses down, i have to keep switching
frequencies for a bit before they fuck off


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 20:57 [#02634080]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



it's someone wokking a dog. standard


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 21:16 [#02634081]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634078



so now, here, perhaps this also uses the quantum matrix.
and what is the refresh cycle of this thing? is there one?
or is it just sort of a constant glow? and i haven't defined
these yet because i know to just sip at this, and that's
where i start to need to actually understand some
physics


...and then i have, like, this feels like the right puzzle
piece, no physics yet required: the one time i experienced
thought loops on mushrooms, yes.

that whatever i thought would move around -- clockwise,
actually! -- and loop back and i'd think it over again. i'd
giggle and think, "ahaha i'm in a thought loop, wicked" and
then i'd think, "i'd better be careful what i put into it"
and then a bit later i'd again think, "ahaha i'm in a
thought loop, wicked" and then again decide to be careful.

i suspect if you had been able to lean into my brain
precisely then and ask, "if you're in a thought loop, how
are you controlling this in a sense that there is any sort
of forward progression?" it would have done anything from
snap me out of it immediately to send me into a complete
psychedelic meltdown because i'd have gone into a loop about
contemplating the loop

so i'm throwing things in -- never mind how -- and enjoying
watching them loop back, and they're starting to overwrite
the earlier layers, like a space echo. and obviously my
natural instinct is to throw sounds in there and get some
wicked noise going, then i mess up a bit and there's a photo
of billy corgan looping around there in the noise. later i
checked the image and he's clearly tripping with a photo of
an ouroboros behind him

then i examine the looping rate, and i slooooow it doooown
to microtime levels and i'm examining what happens when a
sound is faster than you can hear and THEN i'm knocked out
of it and THIS IS A GREAT IDEA FOR SYNTHESIS and yes someone
has that it's called granular synthesis

and alright, i think that has something to do with the
refresh rate of this matrix thing


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 21:43 [#02634082]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



oh. hey. yes. that early in this particular wave i'm on
about how i got the crispest sense of time dilation i have
in over a decade, no psychedelics, just listening to NIN and
meditating

and when i was in the car accident, that was the clearest,
thickest time dilation i can possibly think of. it's as if
all of reality slowed down and i feel like i have the time
to contemplate my foot not being fast enough to get to the
brake in time, and about halfway over, no, we're not going
to get there in time, what is our next move?

and this is a life or death situation opening all the valves
in my brain and time slowed down because the coherency of
the matrix ratcheted up. then meditating to NIN i was able
to get things stable enough that i felt a much more
transient sense of time dilation -- but still the same
sauce, i'm certain. so this means i already have enough
fragments of experience to try and establish contact with
the mechanism... now that i've written this


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 21:51 [#02634083]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634081



that whatever i thought would move around -- clockwise,
actually! -- and loop back and i'd think it over again. i'd
giggle and think, "ahaha i'm in a thought loop, wicked" and
then i'd think, "i'd better be careful what i put into it"
and then a bit later i'd again think, "ahaha i'm in a
thought loop, wicked" and then again decide to be
careful.


that i realized it was a loop; then decided to be careful
essentially formed the stability of it, actually. the
thought of "be careful with the loop" was a dampening
thought, right after the "i'm in a loop" accelerating
thought. then i'm off in the middle for a bit. then it's
been stable enough for a while that it becomes like a space
echo and i'm tinkering with it

so this is, actually, like when a VCR tape is paused and the
head keeps spinning, reading the same stretch of tape over
and over [giving the sense of a paused VCR frame still
somehow being alive and in motion].

that this probably needs to be an analog thought loop of
concepts, perhaps, and you need to sort of get the analog
bits nudged into just the right state.... like the
difference between "just two sine waves" and "spinning
animated lissajous pattern" on an XY oscilloscope. didn't
clark do something with XY scopes? i used to have a
tektronics RM503


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:04 [#02634084]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



time flows clockwise, obviously, big hint there. i spared
you the whole part i've written for my metaphor of the
mechanism of time perception, where it's like the zen garden
water feature where a bucket drip drip fills and past a
point it tips itself over and empties itself out. and
slowing the drip down to a crawl was how i began to get
granular synthesis audio output. because it was less a loop
at this point, and more a stable thing i was actively
manipulating more as one would work with a synthesizer; that
kind of re-emerged in an analog sense as the loop
stabilized. and oh i've written it again but woven it
together

anyways, it was clockwise, somehow, this thought loop record
spinning around. time. slow it down, time dilation. i wanted
to fill in where i made that leap


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:09 [#02634085]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



oh. it's a constructed, stabilized loop, and i'm building up
quantum coherency within the loop, dilating my perception of
time. so i could, perhaps, construct a different loop? a
larger one, that's more a general-purpose jet engine rather
than a fantastic trip toy?

but that's back over from "this is wonderfully powerful and
can search every train of thought but i feel like i'm
limited to simply being clever in what probability
distribution i ask for" -- if i can construct something like
that, perhaps i'm not stuck with that. but it's meditatively
difficult

writing in loops to build up coherency helps though


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:37 [#02634086]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



the other day, i'm all "...what OTHER records has Tony's
klepto friend stolen?" and i'm thinking: this is another
list for my ridiculous website. which needs an update,
actually

now i'm realizing that when i did this in my head i
implicitly filed it under the html table i'd put elmer in
charge of without really thinking about why i put it there;
i just did. so, alright, elmer is in charge of figuring that
out too, and what does that mean? standard is for me to just
think of the answer 15 minutes or a day later or anywhere in
between as i'm taking a piss or something


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:39 [#02634087]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



then when i decided that was a thing on the site, it was
merely my riced out yugo bat signal going off, like: as a
world-class magpie for the ridiculous, i find this marvelous
and that was it; i'm demanding a list. no further thot.
whatever that is


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:42 [#02634088]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



the origin of the written word in ancient china began as
divination. they would carve religious glyphs into bone and
then carefully bake it in the fire until it exploded. then
they would examine the fragments and use this for
divination, crop planning, etc.

when i read this, i thought: you're computing the answer as
you spend all that time in a concentrated state carving in
the glyphs and the exploded bone bits are simply the result
printout

it's just a scale model of thot itself


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:45 [#02634089]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



as the looping rhythm of music builds coherency, with a
focused enough mind, time begins to dilate and aphex sounds
better than snares


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 22:46 [#02634090]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



...but, no, if your music is apt [as possible] to pull
someone down into time dilation, well, what's your next act?
transients, there needs to be more to find down there or the
track is tapped out and dull


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 23:01 [#02634091]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634086



the other day, i'm all "...what OTHER records has Tony's
klepto friend stolen?" and i'm thinking: this is another
list for my ridiculous website. which needs an update,
actually

now i'm realizing that when i did this in my head i
implicitly filed it under the html table i'd put elmer in
charge of without really thinking about why i put it there;
i just did. so, alright, elmer is in charge of figuring that
out too, and what does that mean?


somewhere in here i've probably written how i was once at a
bar and staring off into space, designing a new GUI widget
in my head, idea idea of which was to select between three
competing drives, and then compute a centroid, and this is
all an elaborate trick to extract a customer's preferences
without wasting much of their time.

and alright, create a blank workspace. and how about like
this? no. and what colors do i want? i definitely need a
three-color gradient. the company colors would be too salad
here, hmm. then i'm done with my widget and i'm building out
a demo interface in my head and in between this i'm stopping
to think "i need more beer" and i catch the waitress's eye
and wiggle my glass and "alright where was i" and then a few
minutes later the beer shows up and "thanks" and "alright
where was i" and then when i get back home i draw the whole
thing out into a notebook to nail it down and start typing
shit up on my computer

and i was always kind of good at that sort of mental
designing, but i have spent two decades doing software
engineering and it's become quite a beast

so i literally have that whole discordogs site in my head,
and when i say i put it in that table without thinking, i
mean i sort of opened up my workspace and put that in the
site there and then later i'll just transcribe it into the
computer. a lot of my posts also work like this. written in
my head in a bar or on a walk; i drop in and out and handle
reality fine


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 23:10 [#02634092]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



sampler brain says tony's klepto friend has stolen at least
one of my favorite infected mushroom records and that sounds
good to me.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 23:20 [#02634093]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



that "infected mushroom" is one of those clever joke names
because the way the kick plays off the air in between things
gives this sort of cardioid shape and it's like you're
inside a mushroom-shaped room and this isn't psychedelics,
just some weed in 2014 or something. and then i just thought
of it as "gating" because it wasn't until 2021 with that
gentle speaking man talking about transients on youtube that
i began to develop an ear for them. which begins to show you
how i can be on it but also not quite because i don't have a
thread like that on tap yet


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 23:44 [#02634094]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



that video had to be in the thick of the other time with
infected mushroom and one of the synchronizing time points
is when this domain name is due for renewal because this has
me on a regularly timed loop coming back to it. which,
theoretically, trails off of xltronic's spiral, because this
place is what prompted me to impulsively register it and
whatever the timing that was it spun out of here.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 23:55 [#02634095]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



pinning it all down obsessively is a trap. i've always felt
this and now i know why, more or less, and now i see one
that is tactically advisable for once: what did i post in
this thread around when the domain was last due? and
2023-03-15 ~

_________
in retrospect, you can see it condensing like beads of
water on a toilet: this shit is too much for snoop. it's a
battle. it's a history thing... ..and yes, you can see it,
there's a pattern: all of these are conservative totems,
arguably: vietnam. watergate. finally i get to "gettysburg"
and again, just running my mouth "aaaugh i am so close" that
i still don't have it, i can just... like when you're really
sure someone's staring at you, i'm sure i'm a hair
away.


and, of course: custard's last stand. snoop's last stand.
because it knocks him the fuck ova

and the only reason i'm continuing here is to make this
point ~ at the end of the day, it was a pun off of
"custard's last stand" and because it knocks dogg ova, yo.
but what i'm getting is "snoop's vietnam" and no that's just
kind of ugly and then "snoop's watergate" and i genuinely
thought that was just my subconscious goofing off but

the dark cluster of neurons missing from the equation was
custard's last stand. that i could tell something fit,
somewhere over there.. where other neural clusters like
"vietnam" and "watergate" were lighting up and then i get to
"gettysberg" and i am saying "aaaugh i am so close" after
saying "it's historical, it's a battle" and turns out the
one i wanted happened, i dunno, 15-20 years after
gettysberg, definitely closer than vietnam or watergate

but none of that had anything the fuck to do with snoop, or
the stand/knock da fuck ova joke. that was just the answer
to the equation, and what i got was a series of breadcrumbs
leading me up to the thing i know i have, but don't know
what is, like a james cameron movie
-----

and around some of this is two month gap between nerd posts.
right. that worked as i thot


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-26 23:56 [#02634096]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



...and that was me naming a new imaginary strain of weed
called Snoop's Last Stand, for reference. because it knocks
him da fuk ova


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 00:17 [#02634097]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i can't remember when i came up with this visual of that bit
of the start of "For Wolves Crew" but it's like these trees
made out truncated lumpy spheres and coupled with the rhythm
this is an algorithm about blood diffusion, three
dimensions, calculus, related rates, and i'm just seeing a
little cluster of three lobes and the rest of it is rather
blurry. and i came up with this long after first hearing the
track but i think of it every time i hear the track now and
it's been so many times hearing that track it feels
particularly hopeless to try and figure out when i first
came up with that visualization. good thing i know that's
irrelevant or i'd be quite irritated


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 00:20 [#02634098]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



well, there you go. i'm not worrying about it, but if i sit
up one day and [realize i theoretically know how to tear out
the truth of when i first did that, and that i can do it in
a crisp and immediate way that doesn't involve manually
checking every store at the mall for Larry] that means i
theoretically could do the same thing and pull back every
time i've listened to "nothing comes easy" by infected
mushroom. because that track is definitely ground zero of
that arc


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 00:22 [#02634099]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i'm thinking of the 303 line in that track and i want to
robot dance right fucking now. i've not been putting that
album on but i simply have to hear that track now. i don't
expect anything interesting i just really really want to put
it on and i will


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 00:49 [#02634100]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



apparently i actually have discord logs in a literal sense

$ grep -ri iannis
grep: Forum/XLT/cod_zilty/tb666.pdf: Permission denied
Dumps/Discord/2020-11-13/package/messages/73662279458593185
0/messages.csv:770567946149560330,2020-10-27
08:41:54.822000+00:00,"i remember a very early mushroom trip
when i was so excited at an idea i had, then i'm still
tripping and going on AIM and i manage to explain it to
someone, actually reasonably for the state, then i'm
googling around. then i'm pissed because some guy named
iannis xenakis beat me to it in the 60's or something, story
of anyone past the 70's probably




the site clearly needs the AOL Instant Mess log i know i
have saved where i am all "this fucking jerk iannis xenakis"
for a section like "best-of psychedelic near misses 2007-8"


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 00:54 [#02634101]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



you could, perhaps, search the logs for the deleted discord
on discordogs. that's hilarious and now -- that i see i had
the foresight to dump discord knowing it might get lost --
it's arguably technically straightforward. and hilarious.

part of having thad's post search there is just seeing how
much offering that little tanks that mint tin of a server's
capacity we'll see if this can fit


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 04:44 [#02634124]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



TLDR ~ in all my discussion of memory path searches, i'm
using "we've lost track of larry and we're looking for him"
as a metaphor. we check across the street before we bother
checking in starbucks

and i do remember thinking: alright, who are we looking for,
here? because i'm writing this bullshit and i need a someone
to be looked for to write this. and i pick larry and i never
think about where larry came from very hard

so larry is hyperflake's christmas cactus from 2019. and
i've found larry


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 05:43 [#02634129]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i suppose it's about time to take a moment for us to all
remind myself how much fun i have with all of this, how i
feel i genuinely do get something out of it, that i am
psychologically comfortable -- calmly bemused -- about all
this weird shit... but yes, maybe if someone is actually
keeping track, this might trip you out a bit. don't worry.
it'll wear off eventually


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 05:44 [#02634130]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



but then no one probably is following. and that's fine. i'll
just try and keep the flood in the proper threads


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 06:14 [#02634131]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



that with all the ceremony of water condensing on a toilet,
oh, right, it looks like there might actually be some pure
computer science in this. i've left that on the other side
of the wall, but something NP complete, searching a penrose
tiling, and then we get into the analogy of how the helical
scan head in a VCR will keep spinning and re-read the same
bit of tape over and over as diagonal stripes, sort of a
frozen moment in time, and that's something to do with
turing machines and the halting problem. and that's all
condensing on the toilet over there somewhere. if it gets
far enough perhaps a drop will plop down onto the bathroom
floor and it'll be some douglass adams improbability drive
moment where i suddenly have a very serious and coherent
paper. but that sounds like a lot of work and i'm not
exactly trying to coax that toilet into sweating


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 06:16 [#02634132]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



as serious as donald knuth's toilet paper was. you know?


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 06:43 [#02634133]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



yes, we wandered into that one nicely. that i really can
sort of feel a vague, half-assed theory that has something
to do with teaming a classical and a quantum computer
together, but... it's not quite a thing yet. i don't know if
it will be a thing, it's just shaping up that, well, hmm!
that's looking kind of like... something

yes, we've gone polymer. i'm able to understand that is an
element in the equation and that things are going on with
it; it's developing somehow. that if such a thing were to
develop to a certain leading edge, then i'd maybe have
something interesting to say about algorithms. but it may be
something someone else has already. and that i don't even
have to go through the effort of re-inventing it; it's
faster to simply leave it as some condensing blob over there
and not get distracted

and yes, alright, now the loop is stabilizing


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 07:02 [#02634134]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



"we've gone polymer" -- oh lord. is that what it means to go
plastic? have i just gone plastic? or polymer. that what was
just describing was a sense of leaving that lump of thought
incomplete so i can work with it like a polymer and not get
pulled down into the weeds. free myself up to operate


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 07:18 [#02634135]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02634097



i can't remember when i came up with this visual of that
bit of the start of "For Wolves Crew" but it's like these
trees made out truncated lumpy spheres and coupled with the
rhythm this is an algorithm about blood diffusion, three
dimensions, calculus, related rates, and i'm just seeing a
little cluster of three lobes and the rest of it is rather
blurry. and i came up with this long after first hearing the
track but i think of it every time i hear the track now and
it's been so many times hearing that track it feels
particularly hopeless to try and figure out when i first
came up with that visualization. good thing i know that's
irrelevant or i'd be quite irritated


then by writing that, i've gotten myself stewing on it. it
bothers me that this visual is like... sort of 200x200
pixels on your standard monitor and the rest of the screen
is just kind of like youtube's "ambient mode" and just
splashes the colors. why is it this little thing?

and alright, the first time... totally different. acid and
mushrooms. i'm in a giant dark warehouse and bits of barbed
wire and light and... then, yes, i am not sure but i think
that little patch, that frustratingly alone on a mostly
blank screen patch, is a bit of shifting light from later in
the song... rendered through blood flow...

and i've lost it. just now, that, meditating, took a grab.
and that was really really working for a moment. then the
quantum weasel supercooler took a dump and shit i've lost
it. i would compare this to having to make a series of
difficult parkour moves in an unbroken combo. and that it
was going for a moment and shit wait what's going on

good sign.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 07:20 [#02634136]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



all through writing that i'm feeling this massive side-suck
of "you've done this before" and it's like, i think that
machine is starting to become counterproductive, if i'm
working with thought polymers of course we've done lots of
this before in varying degrees


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 07:28 [#02634137]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



a stronger part of my initial visualization -- a stronger
percept -- from the first time i'm listening to for wolves
crew -- i'm listening to it again later, and that strong bit
emerges, but i have no idea it's that specific bit firing
off, and so my conscious mind re-renders that incomplete
memory as an entirely new visualization; the mind creating.
the waveform collapsing. it's stuck in this little animated
tile in my field of view because i was in a dark warehouse
and that was a bit of light and that's where it was in my
field of view. and it's not even from the same part of the
song

slippery devil in there


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 07:30 [#02634138]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i switch over to "well can i do the infected mushroom song
thing now too, even vaguely?"

my brain very much: christ bro i have no idea let's go out
for a cigarette


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 08:04 [#02634139]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



all through writing that i'm feeling this massive
side-suck of "you've done this before" and it's like, i
think that machine is starting to become counterproductive,
if i'm working with thought polymers of course we've done
lots of this before in varying degrees


but maybe we want to keep that. something about that thing
where, at our worst, we can be like an llm with a very small
context window. something about, we need to keep running
track of our progress. because nevermind the surprisingly
productive mathematics of a random walk, that's not what we
want here


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 20:02 [#02634148]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



the discovery of what neuroboffins call "grid cells" in the
brain won some people a nobel prize, and i think that
deserved it for a reason i've never seen anyone else bring
up

that, for thousands of years, going back to... Plato, i
think?

...that, going back to the discovery of geometry [or, at
least, deciding it was a thing] there has been a debate
about whether geometry is built into our brains or if it's
just a thing we've come up with.

and grid cells are about cells that form grids of hexagons,
and this is how we keep track of our location. tile the
bathroom floor with hexagons, then move one hexagon at a
time, like a board game [cataan in particular]. this is how
our brain keeps track when we're hiking in the woods.

and this is physically built into our brain; hexagons are
physically built into your brain, and are a fundamental part
of how the hardware itself is built, which means the
software [your mind] has to follow along

and it's been thousands of years and we've finally answered
a question posed by the chaps that actually invented
geometry
[or, at least, declared it a thing] and no one
gives a rat fart.

why do we have things like BOC's hexagon sun? this. and
other neurological structures. that psychedelics suppress
the mechanisms that suppress noise; unfinished conclusions.
once you open all the valves, hexagons are flowing into
hexagons and you get psychedelic form constants in the shape
of geometric hexagon mandalas like a kalidescope and no one
gives a rat fart. like, i doubt BOC even gets this or cares


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 20:08 [#02634149]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



so with that as an introduction, i note the inventor [or at
least the person who declared it to be a thing] of the tech
singularity died a few days ago.

i [jokingly] asked a few years ago: if the mind
automatically, furiously wires around however i decide it
works, if i decide it's based around algorithms i know from
computer science, will that then make those algorithms a
physical part of my brain, and thus effectively qualify me
as bionic?

and i doubt anyone gives a rat fart, but that's starting to
look like less of a joke now. what if, instead of a tech
singularity, there could be a meat singularity? that we may
be capable of building that merge of human and technology in
our heads, without surgery or brain scans -- just carefully
structured thought and praxis

but i doubt anyone gives a rat fart


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-03-27 20:08 [#02634150]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



and to be clear, i'm not waving the "mission accomplished"
banner, i'm just saying it's starting to seem less like a
joke.


 


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