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agoording to thos "coogle flaps" apphonlication, the slogan for one duckin donuts corp is "Energy For The Fun of It" ...and you can tell the meetings were like: "Our brand is about ENERGY! and FUN" and we went up at "Energy For The Fun of it" and this one, well, it's still one of the worst i've seen and i think this every time i see it. Energy For The Fuck Off their coffee tastes like trucker balls. or so mermaidman told me |
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how would i fix this? i would market it like Dunkin' -- Keep on Dunkin' and their name is dunkin and the slogan is keep on dunkin with dunkin at dunkin keep on dunkin maybe they tried this and robert crumb rightfully sued. |
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it's pretty hard to lose if you turn your brand into a verb -- like, "brb, gonna dunk" which is where it lands for brevity after people have been saying "brb, gonna dunkin" that you have a name that is easy as shit to do catchy things with, and... Energy For The Fun Of It? fire the dumb bitches that picked that immediately. i'm sorry. truth bullets |
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while i'm recycling gripes -- i hate the app-era class of tech startup names. where they are shooting for a 4 or 5 letter thing where they've deleted a couple letters because you're a dumb monkey on a phone who cannot type more than five characters without losing your fucking mind. e.g. "Track your poops with Ploprâ„¢" and it sounds like plopper like poop but it sounds like phone instead, get it? no? you're clearly still using Wankrâ„¢ then |
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i try using Ãœbrâ„¢ and the price it shows me is... really? really? "oh, it must be doing the shit where this isn't the real price, and as soon as i order it, it'll hang and i have to try again and the price will go back up to normal" but no, this is some Brand New Shit. the call goes right through and it's making like it has a car on tap and... "Would You Like To Upgrade To Not Waiting For A Fucking Car For $5" and i say fuck off. then it's continuing to say: oh! a car! ...wait, shit, nm and then it picks a man who... not only from the name, am i certain this car will be a foul miasma of ethnic B.O. but he's so far out that the place could fucking close before he finishes a trip, drives through a shit ton of rush hour traffic, then drives me through more of the same so that was the scam. the low price was a lie and now you're jerking me off because i didn't upgrade. i get vocal with my fone in these sort of contexts, and i literally yelled "STOP FUCKING JERKING ME OFF" and i open the competing app, Mstacheâ„¢ and it gives me a price that is not great but entirely within the bounds of normal and i say sure and it says a car will be there in three minutes and i have just enough time to cancel the other shit before it's been long enough for them to say they can charge me for cancelling. when it'd take that B.O.mobile a half hour to get here, for real that is precisely how you take someone who went to you first choice, drove them off; put them in a position where they may not go to you first choice next time. dara whatever-his-name, you pampered ivory tower shit. go back and read the steven levy article about yourself again |
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and i literally yelled "STOP FUCKING JERKING ME OFF" mm, no, not quite literally. it's more like, i was quietly using my phone, and if you had been at the kitchen table lost in quietly reading the paper it would have been like "STOP FUCKING JERKING ME OFFâ„¢" and it would have jolted you mildly in contrast to me just working on my phone in quiet like a normal chap. but no, that wasn't really actually a yell |
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Uber® -- Stop Fucking Jerking Me Off™ Visa® -- If You Can't Buy It With Visa It Must Be Some Kind Of Fucking Bullshit™ Wayfair® -- Overhiring Means The Furniture Must Be Owsum™ Amazon® -- Smile Like Glasgow™ i think there's another thread in this! [...he says. as if we need another] |
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