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closest you've come to SEX
 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 14:25 [#00226598]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to jand: #00226594



ahh, I'll try to avoid that cliche when it happens to me...


 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 14:27 [#00226602]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226598 | Show recordbag



it's impossible, mate...;)..

I think it may be genetic or something...it's like no-one
want to admit their are a virgin...

I'm sure if you went into a school class of 10yrs and asked
em if they were virgins, no-one would put their hands up...

(mind you, you'd probably be arrested or something if you
did that...)...


 

offline Taxidermist from Black Grass on 2002-05-20 14:31 [#00226611]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226592



Yeah... with another person. Masterbation does not count. If
it did I would have a list way too long :)

Jand; My first g-f knew I was a virgin well before we got it
on. Altho I was 15 at the time... so it wouldn't have been
that hard to guess if I hadn't told her.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-05-20 14:34 [#00226613]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I was 20, yes 20, before I gave my berry...I mean cherry
away. I told my girlfriend that I was a veteran porn star
and she really enjoyed it. Never underestimate the power of
suggestion.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 14:34 [#00226614]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



Taxi: Aha, I see, well, hats off to you dude

Jand: ten year olds? mmmmm, don't give me those ideas...


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-05-20 14:36 [#00226616]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I'd have sex with anyone or anything; man, woman, beast or
child I don't discriminate.


 

offline core from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 15:09 [#00226659]
Points: 1536 Status: Lurker



i'm 32, i've been married to the beautiful and horny Jane
for eight years, and I suppose in answer to your question,
the closest I've come to sex is, er, the last sixteen years
of my life.

how old are you?


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:12 [#00226664]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to core: #00226659



give us some more details, dude!!!!! Add some flavour to our
dull office day!!


 

offline manicminer from Paris (France) on 2002-05-20 15:16 [#00226673]
Points: 1423 Status: Lurker



I'm 48 years old. I once got married but we never had sex,
simply because I only discovered that sex existed after we
were divorced.

I was brought up in a remote forest in the centre of
Newcastle Upon Tyne and I was never told of the "Facts of
Life". When I was integrated into society at the age of 23,
it was presumed that I would have learned of the pleasures
of the flesh already, so I was never told.

My wife just presumed I wasn't interested in sex, so she
never mentioned it, and we eventually divorced.

I first found out exactly what sex was about 4 years ago. I
have been unable to think of anything else since, and
consequently am bed-ridden and spend my days wanking myself
raw. It's great.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:20 [#00226681]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to manicminer: #00226673



Ahh, the joys of being open and honest to your friends, and
here we were thinking you actually were a human being,
manicminer.


 

offline manicminer from Paris (France) on 2002-05-20 15:22 [#00226684]
Points: 1423 Status: Lurker



I think I am human.


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 15:22 [#00226685]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226496 | Show recordbag



Don't they also have the song 'I kicked you in the stomach
because you were pregnant'?


 

offline polar bear from United Kingdom on 2002-05-20 15:23 [#00226686]
Points: 327 Status: Regular



shave your balls!!! my god i wouldn't trust anyone to do it
let alone myself (i can't even do my face without cutting
myself!). ANd going down on someone makes me puke, i'm
allergic to fish and it just brings on that post-allergic
reaction, i have tried so hard!!!
I have to say group sex is the way to go but just make sure
it's not with your pals!!!


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:26 [#00226689]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to giginger: #00226685



manicminer: ha, ha. Try harder!!

gigi: yes, something like that but my favourite is "I got an
office job for a sole purpose of sexual harrasement",
closely followed by "I became a counselor so I could tell
date-rape victims they were asking for it"


 

offline Peter File from the future!!! Ooooh chase me! on 2002-05-20 15:28 [#00226692]
Points: 2020 Status: Lurker | Followup to giginger: #00226685



Some Anal Cunt song titles:

You're Old (Fuck You)
I Pushed Your Wife In Front Of The Subway
I Made Your Kid Get Aids So You Could Watch It Die
I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked
For It
I Fucked Your Wife
The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get
Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt
I Made Fun Of You Because Your Kid Just Died
I Sent A Thank You Card To The Guy That Raped You
I Sold Your Dog To A Chinese Restaurant
I Got An Office Job For The Sole Purpose Of Sexually
Harassing Women
I Like Drugs And Child Abuse
Laughing When Leonard Peltier Gets Raped In Jail
I Convinced You To Beat Your Wife On A Daily Basis
I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To America's Funniest Home
Videos
I Paid J. Howell To Rape You
I Lit Your Baby On Fire
I Intentionally Ran Over Your Dog
Your Kid Commited Suicide Because You Suck
Hitler Was A Sensitive Man
You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You're A Cum Guzzling Fag





 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 15:30 [#00226695]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



shit...They've fucking nicked my CV and made a career outta
putting it to music...

bastards...


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 15:31 [#00226698]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Followup to Peter File: #00226692 | Show recordbag



Bless sensationalism for Sensationalisms sake.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:32 [#00226700]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to Peter File: #00226692



Peter, I have here complete lyrics to their last album. Need
them?


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 15:33 [#00226701]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226700 | Show recordbag



My names not Peter but I'd love them


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:43 [#00226712]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to giginger: #00226701



I was talking to Peter file, but check your email anyway,
gigi


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 15:44 [#00226714]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226712 | Show recordbag



Yeah just got a text message saying it had arrived. Thanks a
lot.


 

offline corngrower from the fertile grounds of Iowa, w (United States) on 2002-05-20 15:45 [#00226716]
Points: 4404 Status: Lurker



three weeks ago I fucked this girl named jackie in my buddy
alex's hotub, If you call that close


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:48 [#00226722]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to corngrower: #00226716



you mean you made love to her?


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 15:49 [#00226723]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to giginger: #00226714



gigi: no probs


 

offline manicminer from Paris (France) on 2002-05-20 16:02 [#00226738]
Points: 1423 Status: Lurker



Corngrower: what's it like? Is it nice? How does it all
work "down there"?


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-05-20 16:05 [#00226745]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226722



One time in uni I was over a friend's house, a friend who
had gone a bit mental. We all went around his new house for
a house-warming gathering (it hardly deserved the title of
party). We were discussing sex (always seems to end up that
way with me for some reason) and I refer to it as making
love. Two female friends said that was a really sweet way of
putting it and this guy went really mad saying it didn't
matter what you called it. He threw a wobbly and ran
upstairs. He sulked up there but nobody went up to see what
was wrong. He came down after about five minutes then threw
a wobbly a bit later and started throwing shit around.

Why have I just bored you with that? What was the point?


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 16:10 [#00226753]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Followup to jonesy: #00226745 | Show recordbag



It makes a point though. Everyone sees it in a different way
and that affects other things in life.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-05-20 16:11 [#00226754]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to jonesy: #00226745



I dunno, but I'm off now and to the post-office to mail you
you-know-what. see ya all, everyone!!!


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-05-20 16:12 [#00226755]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



19, but I've only really ''made love'' to one girl. Luckiest
girl in the world? I'd have to think so!

Now to go on never having sex again, as usual. Gyargh!


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 16:14 [#00226757]
Points: 26325 Status: Regular | Followup to Ophecks: #00226755 | Show recordbag



I'm 19. I've had sex with two people. But to me only one of
them counts. That's because I loved her. Now my ex but not
by my choice.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-05-20 16:23 [#00226777]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00226754



Oh my butt-plug!!! Meho you are a darling. Your 12" Black
Mambo will follow shortly my dear boy. Take care.


 

offline nanotech from Sukavasti Amitaba Pureland (United States) on 2002-05-20 17:32 [#00226842]
Points: 3727 Status: Regular



i came very close to participating in a orgy here in
seattle...there's this "sex club?" here where couples can
swing and what not...and there was a posting on their
buliten board at their building about the orgy...

so i showed up, and there was a few girls, and a little more
guys, but there was this one guy that looked sooo fucking
ugly....and the only two rules were to let anything happen,
and that everything stays inside the walls. I'm a bi-sexual,
so guys can be very sexy at times, but i wasn't going to let
this guy even see my wang.

and there were some girls that i wouldn't even look at twice
if the circumstances were diffrent...but it was an orgy! you
can't expect to have an orgy w/ all models!


 

offline Thelonious Punk from *fap fap fap* on 2002-05-20 17:46 [#00226852]
Points: 581 Status: Lurker



DUH! Orgies are notorious for having 80 year old fatties and
farmers with pigs.. YUCK! I totally don't want to be
involved in one unless its an invitational Hollywood star
fucking. Which I'll never get invited to but still..


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 17:49 [#00226853]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker



80 year old fatties!? man, I can only dream..


 

offline Thelonious Punk from *fap fap fap* on 2002-05-20 17:51 [#00226855]
Points: 581 Status: Lurker



Nudist colonies are also notorious for having fugly
members.

Pfft, there's no point in such things.


 

offline nanotech from Sukavasti Amitaba Pureland (United States) on 2002-05-20 18:29 [#00226887]
Points: 3727 Status: Regular | Followup to Thelonious Punk: #00226852



i can't believe that...i once found a pretty hot dominatrix
here in seattle via this BDS&M connections service on the
net...it was some of the best sex in my life...

which reminds me of a topic i need to post...


 

offline nanotech from Sukavasti Amitaba Pureland (United States) on 2002-05-20 18:31 [#00226889]
Points: 3727 Status: Regular | Followup to Thelonious Punk: #00226855



and btw, i dig ur pic, bill gates as a white house
puppet...prettly clever...how's that working out for ya?
being clever?


 

offline REFLEX from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-05-20 21:26 [#00227083]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular



closest? uh....... I lost my virginity when i was 13. it was
kinda bad but whatever. im 19. I have a healthy relationship
with a good girl, so that means lots of sex. Sex isnt
anything new..?


 

offline smokehammer from Saigon (Vietnam) on 2002-05-20 21:36 [#00227091]
Points: 1463 Status: Lurker



REFLEX you obviously da man :)



 

offline Zombiekev from Ardmore (United States) on 2002-05-20 21:39 [#00227092]
Points: 2857 Status: Lurker



some of you guys should turn to prostitutes.



 

offline REFLEX from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-05-20 21:42 [#00227094]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular



well, as long as your not a big nerd, fat guy, loser or
whatever then sex shouldnt be a problem for ya. I mean......
everyone wants to have sex, usually. It was never a problem
for me. And never will be... and it sure as shit isnt a
problem now.


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 21:42 [#00227095]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker



I don't want THE aids!


 

offline smokehammer from Saigon (Vietnam) on 2002-05-20 21:42 [#00227096]
Points: 1463 Status: Lurker



!!!!

oh, i see turn TO prostitutes

I read it as turn to , as in "Into".....

but hey, theres another idea.. :D



 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 21:46 [#00227099]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker | Followup to REFLEX: #00227094



what are you moderetely big fat nerdy loser? =)


 

offline smokehammer from Saigon (Vietnam) on 2002-05-20 21:49 [#00227103]
Points: 1463 Status: Lurker



REFLEX ,

lotta fat nerdy losers here then.
apart from you.
you normal big bollock dog you :D



 

offline license from out of nowhere on 2002-05-20 22:12 [#00227132]
Points: 865 Status: Lurker



damn. I thought my sex life was pathetic. I haven't got laid
for 10.5 months.
so, sex is about the closest I've come to sex. the last
chick I was with was pretty terrible, but I had a girlfriend
in high school that completely rocked my world and we had
fabulous sex. I'm beginning to think that was a
once-in-a-lifetime thing.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-05-20 22:16 [#00227140]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



yeah, REFLEX is OBVIOUSLY the man right...


 

offline grinningcat from london (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 22:26 [#00227152]
Points: 1073 Status: Lurker



im 18.
Dancing very closely to shit music with one of my sisters
friends is prob. the closest ive done. Sisters friends
always seem like such attractive prospects dont u think??

anyway, "religion" stops me from shagging birds out of
marriage, which is a bit of a bugger.



 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-05-20 22:34 [#00227161]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker



"Sisters friends
always seem like such attractive prospects dont u think??"

hmm yes but don't let the thought police take you away! (if
they are younger)

argh religions for people with morals!


 

offline Din from The bushes in your front yard. on 2002-05-20 22:37 [#00227166]
Points: 221 Status: Regular



what the fuck, im only 14 and i get more pussy then you
guys? maby it's just because i go out with a lot of sluts,
but still...


 


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