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larn has been healed by love leave him alone |
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"Dear Deidre" |
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You're right to say that people are a product of their environment, of course if a person has been brought up with good loving parents that person will have the same loving qualities. But you can't escape the powerful influence of the environment and how it conditions us to act and think a certain way. As we know the media plays an important role and so does are past traditions and values which get passed on through time. I am not saying British women are bad by default, I'm saying they are conditioned to be a certain way by a chain of events which have simply occurred by chance. The same goes for british males, we are such neurotic and private people, and this is all because of our environment and social conditioning throughout the years. So in short there is not a better human being by default, so at least we both agree on this... I have found that a typical chinese women will treat you differently to how a british women will, and the reason for this goes back hundreds of years. Many women respect life and nature because they have been raised with Buddhist or taoist philosophies. When it comes to marriage, this is very sacred and the man must be looked after and will be her first priority. this conditioning by chinese traditions and values makes for a perfect woman. she will be submissive, loyal, kind, and dedicated to making you happy throughout your whole marriage and to the very end. While I was there, i didn't see people drinking or being loud and obnoxious, I noticed that people are not neurotic, they are very open and free despite the propaganda you hear on the news You go out on a saturday night in your city or town centre and tell me you would let your children walk through alone? In china a young girl can walk alone at night pretty much anywhere, any time and not have to worry about any imminent danger. The streets are safe (apart from the odd moped packed with bamboo going along the sidewalk) and you have a feeling of community and care among people, everyone treats each other with |
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..respect |
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lets just agree to disagree, this is a very open ended and complex subject which can also become subjective and because of that reason, neither of us will be absolutely right. For example, my friend likes women who are fiery and dangerous, the type of girl who might cheat, because it's fun and exciting. To me thats crazy and i would say that's a terrible type of girl, but to him he loves it so it's all subjective. |
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By the sounds of things, you just surround yourself with wankers. If you made a bit of effort you could find people in England who are open and caring.. and submissive, if that's what you're into. Finding people in your own country who match those criteria would be much easier than forging some kind of incredibly long-distanced relationship with a Chinese girl. It seems that you think all Chinese women are fundamentally the same, in their beliefs, and if so, that seems to take any kind of meaning out of a relationship-if you could just close your eyes and pick one and be happy with the result because she was Chinese. Yes, the media does play a role in how people develop, but as I said to you in your other thread, if she's the kind of girl who meets men on the internet, she's obviously far from sheltered from Western media. Yes, Chinese women have been taught to be submissive through hundreds of years of "traditional values", some of which still take place in rural areas- for example foot binding, arranged marriages and female infanticide. How lovely. Having a woman bow down to your every whim, because over hundreds of years their cultures have taught them that they are inferior to men, doesn't sound like the ideal basis of a relationship to me. Additionally, Yin is symbolic for dark, passive, insubstantial, cold, wet and negative... and feminine. Women are represented by Yin, whereas men are represented by Yang, which is the complete opposite. Surely this gives you some further indication of how women are fundamentally viewed as inferior in the Chinese society, rendering them submissive. If you view this, and these "traditional values" as a good thing, then fair enough. I just think that the reason that your experience of Chinese women acting in this way has far more unpleasant roots than the romanticised view that you hold. |
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i dont get it. what larn said to pulseclock isnt wrong (if a little bitter) also to generalise men or women into catagories might not be entirely correct but its not completely off the mark either. i think its worth noting that larn is decent enuff and smart enuff to know better than what he's saying there, i just dont think he was in the mood to delocately propose all sides of the argument. |
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i know nothing of chinese women but western girls have an awful lot of 'self' to define (and i think what really fucks it up is highschool). it gets lost and needs get tangled up. its all about hurt and filling in the gaps, and i think young women get hurt a lot here (even if its simply not feeling quite pretty enuff). women have to build up so many defenses, so much of there self image is defined by sexuality and how others judge it. im just saying that you can generalise to an extent |
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western girls at least have the capacity to be the kind of person THEY want to be, rather than being conditioned by generations of bullying fathers in china to be the daughter they want them to be. i've known quite a few chinese girls personally and yes, they are curteous, respectful and also utterly terrified of displeasing their family, especially their father. it just made me feel really sad for them. pakistani culture is very similar too. larn, you're making yourself out to be a misogynistic idiot, who wants an object he can control rather than an actual person with their own identity and desires. for all intensive purposes, you may as well just have a relationship with a robot you can program. yes, i realise i too am generalising with this post, but come on... if you seriously think that all western women are the same, then you need to expand your search further than the end of your street. go to university or get a job in a field where a lot of smart, inteligent women are active... one of the most beautiful and caring girls i ever met was at my university and despite being very confident, she was also incredibly shy and timid in other aspects - i tried for ages trying to "figure her out", but the fact is that people aren't (usually) 2 dimensional and you can't understand all their is to know about a person or indeed a culture just by a few fails on your part. |
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i dont think its that simple |
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indeed and thats the whole point. |
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Women are naturally submissive and they do play a more passive role in society, many women won't accept this and they demand more power and status. This is the reason that things are pretty messed up in Britain with relationships and marriages. It all started in the 60s with the women's rights movement, which i think was a good thing, but it got out of hand! now the young men of today are test pilots for this new bread of woman who demand us to be sensitive, but not too sensitive, kind, strong, intelligent, faithful, funny etc etc and they really expect allot from us! And this new bread of woman is strong, aggressive and powerful like how men are, now they want a piece!! and also men are becoming more sensitive and feminine like how i am!! I have been abused by a girlfriend physically, she used to hit me and take the piss all the time and eventually went off with my best friend. Then I became scared of women, and stayed single for many years protecting myself. Now I have finally freed myself and you are criticizing me for finding a way to be happy! I am going to give Ying a chance to be equal to me, and she will be treated like a princess, i would of done that for an english girl too, but in that situation i would of been used and walked over! If you are lucky enough to find a good girl then fine! I don't have the same luck so i traveled to the other side of the world, so what?? I was on a quest, a mission! a romantic adventure!! and it was fun and exciting. the experience has changed my life and i feel proud to be with Ying! She will be shipped in soon enough |
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HAHAHAHA i can't even tell if you're being serious anymore, but man if you are, then god help you sir. no wonder your waffle business failed, you probably refused to serve half of your clientbase (women) still, if you're both happy, then fair enough i say. good luck with your life. |
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Bread of woman |
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thank god for western democracy and its cultural advancement |
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oh come on, we both know that women are a walking psychological paradox, i can't believe you man.. have you not noticed how women like the 'bad guy' rather than the more sensitive caring one? if you are an alpha male, then i guess your fine |
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now fuck off, i wanted to defend you but that's just ridiculous try to see men and women as people, not some abstract naturally opposing forces |
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but its not that simple |
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I think you guys are too young to have a fully comprehensive argument on this matter. yes there are good and bad people generally, men hurt women and women hurt men, but the problem is that the good girls always go for the bad guys!! and never the more sensitive kind one. why? it's because of confidence, the bad guy is more confident and that's what women are attracted too |
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i know that i'm not saying that men and women aren't conditionned to see themselves as different or opposed but the "naturally submissive" bullshit is bullshit |
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im young but its not that simple. |
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how are they good girls? |
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i dunno if it is. i think love, sex, men, women is quite nicely summed up by audition. its a bloody good film that |
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so that's why you always hear about women complaining about men being selfish pigs, because they are attracted to the selfish pigs, and that attraction is imbedded in their subconscious minds. at the fore front of their minds, they are saying " i want a nice caring man, to treat me with respect" this seems right, but naturally (subconsciously) they want the more powerful alpha male, who is strong, but this kind of man is dangerous. the reasons the woman want this type of man is genetic, the woman wants to produce a stronger baby. |
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oh fuck of larn, you're a prick who knows fuck all about life. Just because you're in your late 20s doesn't make you any more experienced than anyone else. Judging from your ridiculously narrow minded, bigoted, masochistic views, you know very little. If girls liked bad guys or dickheads, women would be all over you. They're not. I think you're repulsive, go fuck yourself. |
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By good girls i mean the ones i am looking for but never find because i am too nice for them. but guess what? in china the good girls actually appreciate being treated nicely and they respond to it in a positive way. |
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I'll tell you something, the woman wants to produced a baby that's not got a cunt as a father. It makes genetic sense that they want a man who will stay with them and protect them and their child, not treat them like shit and fuck off as soon as they find someone more attractive. |
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i'm one of the good guys who treat women with kindness. i can see that you are an aggressive alpha female which scares me . if we were in a relationship you would control me and always put me down. and i would be upset and probably end up crying |
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too nice? Are you kidding? |
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the only reason you don't think I am not a nice guy is because you are offended by my reasons for looking for an alternative woman. If you knew me in real life you would see who I am. you have created a character in your mind which is false. perhaps i have of you too |
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Surprisingly, I'm not. I like to be looked after and protected by a man. I don't like to be treated like an inferior though. I never ever wear the trousers in a relationship, and put up with far more than I should do from men, but fucking hell, if you ever spoke to me like you have done in this thread, I'd kick you out before you could finish your ridiculous sentence. |
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ok, i guess that confirms it then. larn is a troll/alt along with a few others in this thread (ampi/sam l jigsaw) shame theres nothing better to do through the day than type shit on xlt eh? oh well. |
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People's views and beliefs make people who they are, not what they look like in person. I have seen yours and I don't like them. Just because this is a conversation occurring over the internet doesn't mean that either of us are saying things we don't actually mean and it would be different in "real life". |
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I am expressing how I feel, and i seem to have offended a few people, i have never used fowl language or said nasty things have i? I always respect you guys and listen to your opinions, but please don't insult me because it hurts my feelings |
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no i dont think so |
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I can see that you are a nice girl who is very friendly and approachable, it would of been nice to meet you at that party, but actually the reason i didn't go is because i am too shy and would need time to get to know people before i open up! so your idea of my personality is probably all wrong |
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you don't need to use foul language to come across as a narrow minded misogynist, which is a trait that people find offensive. |
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dont rise to it. relax a little :) this is fun you can show it to the chinese grand kids. |
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Look I don't have this image of you being a macho-man or an extrovert. I can completely imagine you being quiet and shy. I'm not saying you're a horrible person, or don't deserve to be happy, but I just don't like your views of women and relationships, and the fact that you blame your short-comings and bad luck with women on the women themselves, and their society |
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larn have you tried koreancupid.com? |
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think its lol that when some 8 yo kid googles misogynist+definition this thread will come up |
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no offence aimed at anyone in this fred but as i've read all i've thought is YELLOW FEVER and larn its true all the stuff bout gals wanting the bad guy, the alpha male. All u gotta do is man up a bit and stand your ground, eventually theres gonna be some caste offs that the alpha guys dont want or a nice gal that an alpha guy fucked over and she gonna move down the ladder a bit, she'll settle for the dude whos happy to stand upto the alpha but never dominates him. jus keep on trying. Svalx ur blunt as fook. thats a good quality to have. larn, i think ur funny. i'd hump ur leg a little if i was a lassie. "the man must be looked after and will be her first priority. this conditioning by chinese traditions and values makes for a perfect woman. she will be submissive, loyal, kind, and dedicated to making you happy" you can get all that from a good pro too. jus take her in and feed her junk habbit at a level that lets u remain in controll. |
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i'm sorry, i think i understand how you feel but i'm a little lost i'm going to talk out of my ass for a second, we'll say it's a poem women may be conditionned to want to be with bullies, because under the veneer we're still a very sexist society and they must be submissive etc but it's not a natural thing even with the wanting a stronger baby stuff i don't think wanting a stronger baby automatically implies that you'll want an alpha prick for some being gentle and kind, being someone who treats people like people, is a better asset and, i don't know, it's good for the baby but we're taught that violence works and most don't question it and get into unhealthy relationships and power things but some want to get away from that and be with people they can actually talk to i don't know don't feel victimized don't pursue idiots don't think woman naturally want to submit not any more than men it's more complex than wanting a strong man for a strong baby |
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why 8 year old, i'm jus bout to google it too. |
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this fred isnt on the first page of the search. |
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misogynist someone who holds a hatred or contempt for girls. |
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if you think about "girls" this much your probably sexist |
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misogynist in fact |
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well yeah |
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