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 (nobody)...and 737 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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hurt can feel nice if you learn to savour it's subtleties. |
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i dont suppose you feel like giving any kind of information AT all about what the situation is do you? How can we tell you what you should do based on the tiny bit of information that she keeps going on about ghosts?! Does she obsess about them and talk about nothing else? Is she so terrified of them that it controls her life? Or is she just interested in them? Either way, you've got to decide how much it actually bothers you. If you love her like you say you do, and you love having sex with her, surely that's more important than her being interested in ghosts. Personally however, I don't think you do love her at all.. if its so easy for you to just say "fuck it.. i wont ever talk to her again" then you've got a serious lack of real feelings for her. I think the whole thing about you not being behind the wheel of your emotions means that you don't seem to have a clue what you want. It's nothing to do with you losing your mind, but more like you should think for yourself and decide what you want instead of doing what people on xlt tell you to do, who are some of the least experienced men I have ever spoken to when it comes to relationships and sex. Also, ignore larn. That thing about women liking bastards is absolute bullshit. Women like people who are normal and balanced. They don't in general like to be treated like a princess cos it's just a bit sickening. We don't want someone draping themselves all over us and acting like slaves or some kind of love-sick puppy. We also however, don't like being treated like shit. If we do get treated that way you'll either be told to fuck off, or we'll stay with you because we're too weak to break up with you, but actually hate you. The best way to act is to be normal, and treat a woman as you'd treat a best friend. Be kind to her and do anything for her within reason, but don't spoil her too much or be a cunt. |
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Thank you, let me expain what she's about more. she doesn't like ghosts from what i can see because she lives in an dormroom complex that is supposedly "haunted" by what other people have been telling me, and she has said. So it probably has to do with that as well. The other thing is that She is a very independant woman, knows what she wants, who she likes, what she likes about a man. She told me that (and she uses English in a broken-way) she wants a guy to "lean" on. not justy ohysicaly, but emotionally. She also said she wants an older man than her, which i am not. I don't think her being into ghosts REALLY frieghtens me, it just worries me that we might be SO different culturally or in age that she seems to know more or you know be more experienced with human emotion or experience if that makes sense. After we had sex i was really afraid of her and didnt want to talk to her because i knew i felt too stronlgy about the whole situation and about wanting to be her boyfriend. Also when we had sex, the first time i was being very irresponsible and was not using a condom, i quickly stopped though and we went and bought condoms. it was a dumbass thing to do and very wrong to her. So after this she told me (in ehr own unique way of speaking English) "I used to think of you as brother, but now, i see you as man." I don't think she wants a relationship with me, besides schools starts back up in a few days so im sure she doesn'r want any distractions. she seems to be be very driven and indipendant andi told her that theese were all qualities i admireied about her! i want her to be herself, and that means that we are just friends, then fuck it. (thats what i mean when i say fuck it) i am just pissed that i cant be an older man for her to lean on. She made me feel like she was my girl alot, so i thought you know we were dating, but i think we just took our friendship one step further. I really like her, i don't know if its love, but lust. But i want her in my life |
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also, this might be immaturity speaking, but, my whole expeerience with her is totaly captured in the song "Ziggy" by aphex twin. And ok, we watched the movie I am legend together, and it was the Alternate ending version, where the zombie man is upset about his woman-zombie dying. and the whole butterfly theme. so Jin (the korean woman) looked at me and asked in a ver innocent,beautiful way "what is butterfly", exaclty like that. I just knew we were gonna start kissing and, i said goodnight to my friends and just feltyou know like Locked into this feeling that i've never felt before. I stayed with her until 5 in the morning which was when i had to get up for work, it just felt like - this is my life, and i will die one day, and this is one of the most specail days in my life, being with this woman in the moments i was. It fetl like for some reason, we were making love and i loved it. and now i just know it wont work and i hate myself and feel like i will never try making love again and just be by myself, maybe out of pity, who knows. i just dont want to deal with this stuff. maybe idont love her. |
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why dont you just ask her what she wants instead of trying to figure it out for yourself. As you've said culture might be an issue, in that if she acts in a certain way, you might think that she's not interested in you, when in fact she is. The only way to know for sure is to ask her. The worst that could happen by asking her how she feels about you is that she tells you she just wanted to be your friend, which you've already said you would be willing to happen. On the other hand, in the best scenario she could tell you that she likes you as more than a friend, in which case you will be over the moon! It's a win win situation really, as even in the worst case, you'll still be friends and you will know exactly how she feels, as opposed to just trying to guess. Also, why would you never sleep with another woman just because this situation hasn't worked out exactly how you might have wanted it to? I know it hurts when something like this doesn't work out, but you can't let it put you off being with women at all in the future. If everybody let their failed relationships stop them from ever being with anyone else, only a minescule percentage of the world would be in a relationship, but thats just not the case. Everybody goes through difficult experiences like this at one time or another, you just have to take it as experience and move on if it doesn't work! |
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who ya gonna call? |
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I don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that I fear most I'd rather have a piece of toast And watch the evening news. - DES'REE |
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AMPI, ha yeah boyyeeee that was one of the first singles i bought, on cassette i may add! i'm gonna get pick on now aint i?! bring it on u cunts. beatdowncar : do it fall in love, become totally besotted with her, worship her, roll around in the grass together it'll be ace, then when it turns out shes jus another whore woman (they all are) you'll be able to feel miserable and it'll be shit as hell but u can blame all the bad times on the ghosts. plus sounds like she is a money wanting foreigner, i dnt trust asian woman that want white blokes, or asian men that want white blokes for that matter. ur better off falling in love with urself then finding a chick to use for ur own self satisfaction. |
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i bet indeksical had it in that bag o shite tapes. |
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i hope not, its a shame his friend did that, there coulda been some gems in that bag. like a bag full of shit, whos to say that one of the shits didnt belong to a jew who kept diamonds in his bum bum, all you gotta do is sift thru it all befor u discard it. |
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well there are things like 'Fan Death' in Korea, which according to the news over there is completely real. Leaving a fan on during a hot summers night will chop up oxygen molecules in the room so you suffocate to death. barmy and another thing, they administer acupuncture to themselves (prick there finger) in order to alleviate an upset stomach. |
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well if she likes older men, i'm 28... put her on to me and be happy for her |
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thank you. i really am just in a state of total confusion and frustration, i will talk to her, but i have a feeling i won't be able to be friends, i like her too much. but if it is just that cultural difference, and age difference, then i feel better, but i feel like i never want to love again. It just seems too trivial to just put all of that feelign into something that can just flip over on its side and leave. |
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chemically, love only lasts about a year so no trouble if you do fall for her |
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post a pic of her with her rat out. |
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OK, what does it mean to "fall" for someone? Like falling in love equals what , chemically? I really feel out of sorts lately, is it because of this? It's like everything seems connected to me, and i'm connecting everything together too much. It's really freaking me out. Please help. |
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falling, as in once you've let go there's no going back if you fall for that lady it's going to take a while to get over it. by the way i'm slightly confused by what you're saying and not sure if you're joking. if you are being serious then my first question would be, how many drugs do you take a day? |
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i take no drugs, but i think it is because i am a late bloomer. hopefully. what do you mean there's no coming back and its gonna hurt? like i will enter a new realm of some kind? |
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i mean you will lose control of your emotions. they will take over and your logic will be gone. i assume you've found a pretty lady for yourself. i suggest you research the word 'oneitis' |
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i don't want her to not be the one though. I'm not gonna stop her if she doesn't wanna be with me though. It's just i hate that people have been telling me "Just be prepared for the heartbreak, man" or "Everyone has their first love" What the fuck does that mean? Is A first love just a rite of passage or something? I feel like she is so good for me, and i never want to lose that. maybe i have oneitis. but what can i do? just know thats its already over? Life is stupid then, there is no point to life. |
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there's only one way to find out never be scared of making mistakes |
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can i give you some advice? if you're both just friends then definitely don't tell her you like her vocally. this will always fail. instead you need to make a physical move. you need to make it seem like it 'just happened' and you hadn't even initially looked at her in that way. this is golden advice by the way. i had to learn the hard way. multiple times. |
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also choose the right moment when the tension is bubbling |
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no we've already been intimate with each other |
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well then romeo do what feels right |
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i'm just scared for some reason, does this make me gay, to be scared of falling in love? |
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definitely |
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then i guess i'm gay |
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Svalx does speak some truth, but take it from me, a man with some experience. if you want to keep her, you have to back off and act uninterested a little... i'm not saying to treat her like shit, i'm just suggesting to stop chasing her and let her chase you, and you have to be more confident in yourself and not care too much about her feelings... remember this if you do not remember anything else i say: men desire women and women desire mens desire! so don't desire her and she will want you, it's a paradox like everything else in the universe... what she thinks she wants with her conscious mind is the opposite to what her subconscious mind wants. so basically yes she wants a man to treat her nicely, to be gentle and loving. But really what they are attracted to is the opposite, fucking paradox bullshit got me into a mess a few times in the past... |
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fuck her again, bro |
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your korean babe is in that match dot com ad on the right side of the page. |
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she wont fuck me anymore, she got a korean dude. hes all rich and shit. what askank |
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good for you! that whole ghost crap sounded like a waste of time anyways. excuse me my bluntness, but a very independent woman who tells you she needs someone she can lean on is either out on fucking up your mind or is fucked up in her own mind. probably both. |
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i thought you were a GIRL |
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explain THAT |
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the only thing i can explain is your crappy avatar |
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"Dear Deidre" had to tag it before Indeksical did |
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um you DREW my avatar |
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um you ALTERED my drawing |
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it was a collaborative effort |
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Who would have thought that you, a man with some experience giving such ludicrous broad strokes advice, would six months later be travelling half way around the world for a desperate shag off some submissive, controllable poor girl. Good thread. |
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Truth. |
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Ying is a strong woman... i treated her with respect and kindness, no games! my advice is really coming from a sick mind from being treated poorly by british women. my opinion now is that specifically chinese women are different. you can treat them with an abundance of love and they will just love you back 10 fold. you try doing that to a british women, she will abuse you and eventually dump you |
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Ying is my baby, she is not a sex pet and cook |
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You have an incredibly warped and presumptuous world view. I hope that changes. You've met and been in in relationships with women from every country of the world? You've met and been in relationships with enough British women to make sweeping judgements about their psyche? You've met and been in relationships with enough Chinese women to know they're all the way you perceive them to be? Are you hundreds of years old? |
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P.S. I hope its going well! |
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i have only had 6 british girl friends. and 1 chinese each british girl displayed a similar psychological habit, that was that the more i was into them the more they went off me. to keep them interested i had to act aloof and not interested. Perhaps you are right, maybe i should not make my assumptions so quickly, but my ideas come from an internal logic which i happen to believe based on my observations. I have been researching about relationships, having late night discussions with my 2 friends and we have decided that there is a big problem in the UK in regards to relationships and marriage. you may be surprised to know that we have the biggest percentage of failed marriages in the world. i have also looked into the success rate of westerners marrying chinese nationals, and so far the data looks good. since i met ying my whole world has changed, she responds with such kindness to my love. and she was so kind to me. i know it's early to make my judgments but i feel like i didn't need to play games to win her love. I am willing to discuss this further, or open a new thread if people want to talk about it, i have just had the most amazing experience of my life in China and I would like to share it. Unfortunately my tummy hurts now and i have to rest. but i will be back later, sorry if i am rambling on, i feel tired and strange |
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sorry i repeated myself in the third paragraph |
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also looked into the success rate of westerners marrying chinese nationals, and so far the data looks good |
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hahah Sam.. <3 Larn.. what the FUCK are you talking about? I don't know how many times I have to tell you this.. Lots of British women are whores and bitches.. but so are lots of Chinese girls and lots of African girls.. and Greek girls etc etc etc. Similarly, lots of Chinese girls are loving and caring, but so are lots of British girls and girls from all nationalities. Index is absolutely right, how on earth can you base this shit that you're saying, on your tiny experience of relationships with the female population? Perhaps because you have such a ridiculously narrow minded view of relationships, you scare off normal women who would be a loving partner, who would care for you and treat you right. Perhaps it's the very fact that you possess all these weird opinions about women that you scare the shit out of them and make them go off you. Just because a group of women come from the same country does not mean they have the same views, and will display the same behaviours. And you're incredibly misguided and naive if you think they will. The way that people behave is a result of a lot of different factors, including their genes, the way they were brought up, the school they went to, their parents, their friends.. everything. I for example, put up with things in relationships that a lot of my female friends wouldn't, and equally, disagree with a lot of the things that they do in their relationships. To suggest that we would act in the same way, because we are all British, is completely idiotic. I can tell you right now, that the more attention and affection I get from a lover, the more I give back. If I get the feeling that somebody doesn't like me, I don't want anything more to do with them. That seems to go completely against your view of British women.. perhaps I'm Chinese. |
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