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The Ultra Rambo
 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-16 10:37 [#02051007]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker



Think if there was an army of like 1000 Rambo clones. They
would form into a giant rambo, each rambo would be one of
the muscle strains, with a gun. It would shoot from all
directions Think of all the rambos talking in unison, in
their jargoned nonsensical brooklyn mumbles. It would be so
disgusting, when rambo lifts and eyebrow it would be one of
the rambo arms painted in army mud, as to look like an
eyebrow. and every now and then the rambo that signifies the
ultra rambos lower lip falls off from time to time, due to
the fact that when rambo talks its like someone put
antifreeze in his lips. And when the ultra rambo steps on
people, the rambos that form its feet actually start
punching and strangling the people it steps on. Think of one
of the victims gets stuck between two of the rambo toes. it
would be getting beaten so badly. It would get so toe rambo
jammed. In the upper head, there is one rambo inside that
you cannot see, and its the brain rambo, it gives orders on
where to walk and what to do, when he says something, all
the others repeat it, and it causes a reverberation of
stallone mumbles that cause them to move in muscular
movements. All the teeth would be rambo heads in white
bandanas, their bodies jammed tighty in the rambo gums. so
when someones being eating by the ultra rambo, the last
thing the person would hear before they get crushed by rambo
craniums is "uhh!! uhh!", retarded but complex stallone
mumbles. And the rambo digestive system is actually a bunch
of arm muscles tensing the body into minced meat. this ultra
rambo would literally shit out the person it ate as fleshy
diahrea. But the rambo intestines would take whatever ammo
the crushed body has left, and circulate the bullets to the
surface, to use for one of the many machine guns the outer
rambos wield.


 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2007-02-16 10:38 [#02051009]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



Your doing shrooms again aren't you buddy?


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-16 10:39 [#02051010]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker | Followup to 010101: #02051009



No, this is just my sense of humour.


 

offline EVOL from a long time ago on 2007-02-16 16:48 [#02051255]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker



i hope that's just a draft, if i had the time right now i'd
edit it myself. why? because i like it.


 

offline swears from junk sleep on 2007-02-16 16:54 [#02051260]
Points: 6474 Status: Lurker



awesome


 

offline Drunken Mastah from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-02-16 16:56 [#02051261]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



hahahaha!


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-16 17:42 [#02051292]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02051261



Then adriane from the rocky series gets stuck in the rambo
body and getting squeezed to death, and the stallones are
screaming "ADRIAAAANE!!!! ADRIAAANE!!!! HEEELP ME, I CAN'T
STOP!!!"


 

offline cx from Norway on 2007-02-16 18:02 [#02051305]
Points: 4537 Status: Regular



woooot!


 

offline Feld from surrey (Canada) on 2007-02-17 00:32 [#02051389]
Points: 89 Status: Regular



The rambo clones within his body would all fight each other
for supremacy of the higher faculties
in the superclustered rambo brain. This virtual mission with
every gametype would be provided as a training sub-directive
to help hone rambo skills.

Since he is so good, he trains to improve his marksmanship
even while he's in a live mission with real odds. Rambo
isn't perfect though, so to improve his odds in the live
mission he may have to outgun other clones by joining teams
-for varied times depending on the threat- to survive and
get an advantage in higher risk situations. but since
there's only one rambo in the live mission, it's every clone
for rambo's self. so all individual rambo in training take,
at times, exploitative chances to destroy even their own
specific team of rambo.

the bases in his training match would primarily take place
in his skull, which would actually be filled with mostly
air. this environment would give the clones good range for
sniping positions, teleportation pods and other covert op
techniques.

the largest bases would be in the most open terrain, which
would represent rambo's peformance when stripped of all
equiptment/weaponry and surrounded by other clones. rambo's
superclustered brain would be within the most open terrain,
with only one teleportation pod known to get there, held as
the ultimate weapon by the best, unbeatable rambo. this
rambo is so seasoned, no other clone has ever even witnessed
him move. as far as the other rambos were concerned, he
might as well have been the teleportation pods themselves.

that rambo could have field day with all the other clones
any day, using only his fists(and maybe -for fun- a throwing
knife thrown in for good measure). this legendary rambo
apparently captured all the bases using the supercluster,
though some of the clones were begginning to suspect that
maybe the supercluster was only a myth.



 

offline Feld from surrey (Canada) on 2007-02-17 00:33 [#02051391]
Points: 89 Status: Regular



naturally, the story went that: after beating all the other
clones, this legendary rambo took control of the higher
falculties stored in his atrophied lip and depressed eye
sacs (which was one of the features of the supercluster).
only one other opponent faced this unseen master after
stepping into that pod.

it's hard to believe, but, at that moment rambo actually
unleashed his supercluster. anxious to at least see the
weapon in action, that clone tried desperately to see, but
could only catch a ghostly reflection of his elusive killers
face.

from this story, some clones sometimes speculate
that the aforementioned rambo must have just been an idiot
who caught himself in shock during a teleport death.

game stories and conspiracies aside, what's of real value
and importance is that the real rambo running the training
program(who may or may not be the foretold legend is content
knowing that his clones think he's just sylvester stallone,
in a rich house, with a distinct history behind his deformed
face; living it up in his invisible place in the game match
that his warring clones cannot find while the leads the real
mission at hand, beyond what we know as the corporeal.



 

offline pigster from melbs on 2007-02-17 00:55 [#02051394]
Points: 4480 Status: Lurker



i want to see a movie.. or a series of movies based on the
ultra rambo.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-02-17 01:58 [#02051405]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



BUT JUST THEN the Ultra Chuck Norris Appears from behind a
building, immediately karate chopping all the bullets
sprayed in his direction. Agitated by his new rival, Ultra
Rambo concentrates all his fire into a solid metal beam,
leaving a charred gaping hole where 8 Chucks used to be in
Ultra Chuck's abdomen. The chucks surrounding the hole climb
inward to fill the gap, causing a chain reaction of inward
movement that shrinks Ultra Chuck Norris's body a little
bit. Even more pissed off than usual from the attack, all
the Chucks begin taunting Ultra rambo in unison.
"mmaAAaaadrriiiannnnnMMmmnnnm!!!" all the rambos mutter in
anger for running out of ammo due to the blast.
and then some other stuff happens, like something involving
rambo's using their knives and charging and maybe when they
collide the two twist up into a homogeneous mixture of
individually battling chucks and rambos for awhile before
their individual auras suck them back out into two seperate
beings again.
and the building turns out to be ultra Urkle pretenting to
be a building and every single Urkle says "did IIiiii do
thaaaat?" in EXACT unison which is the loudest thing in the
galaxy EVER and causes an enormous earthquake and melts all
the cars, but as the "aaaa" vowel rings out, it is so loud
that all the molecules on earth that were tranmitting the
sound fly out of orbit, getting sucked to the moon from
gravity.


 

offline Combo from Sex on 2007-02-17 03:17 [#02051409]
Points: 7538 Status: Lurker



Rocky VI


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-17 11:12 [#02051591]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02051405



The Ultra Urkel is the only known form of existence immune
to such an annoying resonance, so while the Ultra Rambo and
Norris are down (down being temporaily seperated), Urkel
clumsily trips around, squashing individual stallones and
chucks.
Final Measures must be taken, a secret organization in a
huge black minimalistic room begin to talk around a table
carved with their secret insignia. "Everything is going
according to plan", "Yes, we have awaited this for so long",
"The subhull is beginning to collapse, this is 3rd impact".

Back above ground, a single rambo stands on a heap of melted
vehicles, staring at a single norris standing on some rubble
(which is slightly higher than rambos platform). They stare
into eachothers bloody eyes and realize what needs to be
done. All the norris' and rambos run into eachother and
begin to form the ultimate symbiosis, the ultra confluence,
the almighty form, Norbo Rambis.


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-17 11:59 [#02051599]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker



But then the question arises, who controls the brain,
norris? rambo? both? For their command functions to align,
they must shed off all alpha male hostility.


 

offline swears from junk sleep on 2007-02-17 18:23 [#02051702]
Points: 6474 Status: Lurker | Followup to Feld: #02051389



fav+ new member


 

offline swears from junk sleep on 2007-02-17 18:25 [#02051704]
Points: 6474 Status: Lurker | Followup to swears: #02051702



Actually, he's been a member for a while, but y'know...fav+
member who doen't post that much.

These arsing around threads are great, IDM is boring anyway.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-02-19 19:40 [#02052355]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



*crack* one of Norbo Rambis's's's insane eyes open as he
awakes from his slumber. As his mighty pupil focuses, all
the air in its sight turns black and falls out of the sky,
too scared to be in his vision. Due to his extra mass from
combining, all the clothes of the previously seperate ultra
chuck and rambo were ripped off and lying on the floor, so
his 50 enormous, permantly erect steel penises (peni) could
be seen.

Without Norbo Rambis so much as moving a muscle, every male
within a 50 block radius dehydrated into a pile of guk and
bones and every female was instantly impregnated with
septuplets (all male who would grow up with herculean
strength).

Back underground in the Undecagon (a secret version of the
pentagon) where they were safe from the testosterone waves,
Don Fernando McPeanutbutter, the leader of Team 'F', pushed
the button that controlled the microchips in every one of
Norbo Rambis's's's's individual bodies. "It worked, the half
microchips we secretly implanted in the Rambos combined with
the half microchips in the Chuck Norrises!", said the peanut
butter sandwich that Don Fernando McPeanutbutter used to
communicate with since he was just some eyes and ears and a
brain floating in a jar and had no mouth to speak with
himself. "Now we have the ultimate weapon on earth. With
luck we can use it to defend humanity from Ziggle Zopius,
the evil alien from Galaxy 99999999999999993 who will be
attacking shortly!"


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-02-19 19:44 [#02052356]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



Well, obviously Don Fernando had his peanut butter sandwich
push the button, pff, because, pff, I mean he didn't have
any hands like I said, pff.


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-19 20:55 [#02052365]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker



I think cygnus should make the theme song for ziggle zopius'
arrival.


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-02-19 21:04 [#02052368]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker | Followup to Feld: #02051391



If what we're talking about is lets say, metal gear solid,
you've just described metal gear solid 2.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-02-19 21:15 [#02052370]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



iwanttodie


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-02-19 21:16 [#02052371]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



i like to watch pornotube videos and talk to my mom on the
phone simultaneously


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-02-19 21:19 [#02052373]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular



My soul is made of cottage cheese.


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2007-02-20 07:22 [#02052491]
Points: 7840 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



"aki ra mbo"


 

offline swears from junk sleep on 2007-06-07 15:17 [#02091381]
Points: 6474 Status: Lurker



bump


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2007-06-07 15:19 [#02091383]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker



There are too many Long Posts in this thread.
Therefore, I didn't read any. Thanks a bunch!


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-06-07 15:26 [#02091385]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #02091383



That cut me deep, man. I spent the past hours of my life on
this.. *weeps*


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2007-06-07 15:40 [#02091388]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02091385



You filching piece of shit!!


 

offline jkd from Twitch City (Canada) on 2007-06-07 15:44 [#02091390]
Points: 1138 Status: Lurker



This thread is highly entertaining.



 

offline Fah from Netherlands, The on 2007-06-07 16:21 [#02091404]
Points: 6428 Status: Regular



i lolled atleast once


 

offline gyroscope on 2007-06-08 15:47 [#02091752]
Points: 896 Status: Regular



Rambo is already pretty Ultra.


 

offline oscillik from the fires of orc on 2011-01-27 04:12 [#02404756]
Points: 7746 Status: Regular



just saw the trailer for this film, pretty fucking hilarious
anyways but at about 6mins30secs they have [b]blatantly[/b]
ripped off this thread

Enthiran


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2011-01-27 04:18 [#02404757]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker



Where is my money?
There's royalties in this!
Coincidence? I think not.


 

offline oscillik from the fires of orc on 2011-01-27 04:20 [#02404758]
Points: 7746 Status: Regular | Followup to Gwely Mernans: #02404757



fucking for real man, you should sue


 

offline jnasato from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2011-01-27 09:05 [#02404761]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



This is a good thread.

+


 


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