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shy and quiet people \|« « 1 2 3 4 » »\|

Baron Von Picklefoot from From my "special" place on 2002-01-23 02:05 [#00073911]

ok!!!!!!!!!THE BARON HAS SPOKEN!!!!!!

The_Funkmaster from Newfoundland, Canada on 2002-01-23 02:07 [#00073912]

I used to get so depressed about my shyness... I got to the
point where I was holding a bottle of aspirin or something
like that, and I was ready to down it... but I was too
afraid... and since then, it's been all up hill... you just
need to look at yourself in a lot of depth... get to know
who you are, and look at yourself, and your differences as
being great... this is I guess all buddhism is, finding
salvation within, but here it's just learning to love
yourself... once you get past that, the rest is pretty
easy... there isn't a method... you just gotta do it... just
because you might be different, that's not a bad thing...
just because you mighten fit in with the "cool" people, who
cares? Personally, I'd rather be different and unique then
the same as everyone else... You just gotta find that
confidence within yourself...

Hmmm, I sound like Tony Robbins or something... some
motivational speaker anywas... :)

The_Funkmaster from Newfoundland, Canada on 2002-01-23 02:10 [#00073915]

but it's true though... You just gotta be yourself... get
past the shy thing, and be yourself... don't be concerned
what someone will think if you say a certain thing... or do
a certain thing... anyways, I've said enough...

Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2002-01-23 02:14 [#00073918]

I'm not lacking confidence in myself, I just lack confidence
in everyone else... they're all so STUPID!!!!! I know a few
people like me, and they're great to be around.

Shyness can be a curse, that's true... if you let it. I
don't feel a need to be popular or accepted, so I don't
really care.

laughable butane bobby on 2002-01-23 02:49 [#00073924]

i'm a lousy, uncomfortable liar, and a lot of conversation
seems like a bunch of bullshit and lying, so i suck at it,
nor do i enjoy it. and when i try to be less serious, i
just end up confusing people.

people say i should talk more but they do not want to hear
what i say, unless i just agree with what they are saying,
which i don't. most conversation is just agreeing and
saying the same things over and over.

AMinal from toronto, canada on 2002-01-23 03:40 [#00073936]

yes exactly ophecks.. laughable butane bubble..

although im very shy and not good w/ socializing
(bullshiting) with people.. i think im more self confident
than most
i dont feel the need to conform to stupid conventions or to
surround myself w/ bullshit socialization.. but then im not
one of those people who tries really hard to do the opposite
of everyone else cus tahts just as bad..
but then when it comes to actually talking w/ people.. or
even walking down the hallway in front of girls its so
hard...

but then when i do socialize.. i realize im not missing
much
most of what people think/say is such shallow bullshit
trivial stuff like gossip..
most of the time peoples thoughts are just like the
equivalent of a screensaver for their mind.. (sorry for the
stupid analogy)

AMinal from toronto, canada on 2002-01-23 03:42 [#00073938]

sorry, i meant:
laughable butane bobby

laughable butane bobby on 2002-01-23 04:48 [#00073956]

"most of the time peoples thoughts are just like the
equivalent of a screensaver for their mind.. (sorry for the
stupid analogy)"

i think that is a good analogy.

conversation that i never relate to, or are good at...

the fake platitudes ...
"hi, how are you? hows the job? hows the wife and kids?"

translationed to what they are really saying above... " i'm
pretending to be nice because i'm such a nice guy, but you
know that i'm just pretending because you are not important
enough for me to care about so don't get any ideas. your
job prospects are inferior, so now it is time for you to
make up some bullshit about how you job future is bright. i
expect you to lie, because that is how we play the game"

or even more irritating is the fake discussion... where the
point and conclusion is already foregone, usually a simple
cliche or stereotype, but they can't just come out and say
it because it would sound stupid. it is just that if you
make some rationalizations, and everybody acts like they
agree, it makes it all right.

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 14:12 [#00074045]

Oh my God... funkmaster, I really don't want to come to that
point where I'm so depressed I don't see any other way out
then an overdose of medicine... That's just terrible, I'd
like to say I feel very sorry for you, but then it seems
like for you it turned out to be a good thing because it was
the start of a more positive chapter in your life, so... :-)
That's actually pretty great.

I don't feel very depressed, actually. Most of the time I
can "ignore" many of my problems and fears, and just be
happy about little things. It's just when I think things
like "what am I going to do with the rest of my life?" that
I see a huge mountain of problems and I have no idea how to
get around that, and that can be very depressing.

I'm finding it very hard to learn to accept myself... I
don't really know where to begin. Some people tell me that
talking to a psychiatrist could really be helpfull to me,
but other people tell me I should stay away from that as it
will only make my problems worse. But in the end... either
way I have to do it myself... no one can make me love myself
for me, I have to do that bit on my own... I am trying, I
just hope I'll eventually get there.

"Personally, I'd rather be different and unique then the
same as everyone else..."

I know, I tell myself that all the time. And it's true, I
also believe in that... but it's like there's also a part of
me that REALLY wants to belong and fit in more with the rest
of the world.

"Hmmm, I sound like Tony Robbins or something... some
motivational speaker anywas... :)"

Haha, you sounded just like Emiel Ratelband, altough you've
probably never heard of him. But anyway I thought you said
really intelligent and beautiful things :-)

"don't be concerned what someone will think if you say a
certain thing... or do a certain thing..."

I've always thought that I wasn't concerned about what other
people thought about me... I've been telling myself that for
many many years... it's only lately that I've been starting
to think about it, and started to realize that actually I'm
hugely influenced by how other people look at me (or to put
it another way: how I think people look at me)... it sucks.
I know I should care about that sort of thing, and yet I
always let myself be influenced by that.

Fernz on 2002-01-23 14:15 [#00074048]

Im kinda quiet, yeah.

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 14:19 [#00074052]

Yes, I'm really starting to appreciate the Baron more and
more...
That bit about being poked by so many fingers that you don't
care anymore, and the demons that hide behind the walls...
it feels like that one was especially written for me... it's
really crazy because it doesn't seem to make alot of sense.
And yet I can really relate to it, and it's like that post
describes exactly how I feel!

The one about a portable pride protector and an affordable
lie-detector was also wonderful... man, if I had a portable
lie-detector and would know what other people were think I
would feel ALOT less insecure

Some people probably underestimate how valuable
communicating on a screen can be for someone like me... but
really, I can't even begin to say how important that screen
has become for me. Sometimes it feels like that is all I
have... and either way I'm sure it's the perfect way to
learn and practice a little with talking to people and such.

The_Funkmaster from Newfoundland, Canada on 2002-01-23 14:20 [#00074053]

yeah, I would never be able to do something stupid like
that, but the fact that I was there considering it was scary
enough... so I said screw this, and like I said, it's been
up hill since...

grinningcat on 2002-01-23 14:31 [#00074054]

thanks for the reply 'surrounded by demons', and others.

what i meant about the 'making silly faces' thing was about
how all the really confident people, the 'life of the party'
people all seem to be good at impressions and stand up
comedy...

i guess i was just talking about the contradiction that
exists in me; i want to be the life of the party, the centre
of attention, but at the same time i hate being at the
centre of attention.

i am trying to express myself better as a person instead of
just being quiet. im so f*cking sick and tired of people
judging me like that; 'the nice quiet boy', 'very quiet and
concientious person', and family used to tell me all the
time that i shud try to open up more and all this and that.
i just didnt know how. im getting better by the week i
think. but i think for really gaining confidence like that u
have to go out meet lots of people and experience lots of
new things.

im 18 right now, and hoepfully when i go to uni next year i
can do that.

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 14:46 [#00074059]

I agree that many conversations that people are having
everyday (and I can hear them talk on the train and stuff...
I listen to conversations all the time) are really very
boring and shallow and meaningless.

But then I'm also starting to discover some sort of a
"pattern". Of course the "Hi how are you?" question is
really stupid, and people don't really care and are just
saying it to be polite... but it IS a way to start a
conversation with someone. The conversation can go in any
direction from that point.

So whilst I'm always secretly laughing at people for making
all those stupid remarks, I'm also beginning to see that
many people just use them as a tool to help them, because
they are also a little nervous to talk to people, and "hi
how are you?" can break the ice, so to say. Hm... maybe I
should try that, and see what happens.

When someone asks me how I am doing I can never say anything
besides "pretty good" or something like that. I guess you're
supposed to talk a little about what's going on in your
life.

PS. this is the last time I clicked that "notify me of
future replies" box underneath here! All the mails are
driving me crazy :-p

grinningcat on 2002-01-23 14:55 [#00074063]

yes u are right surrounded. i work in a shop, serving
people, and am constatly surprised at how my fellow
collegues seem to be able to chat openly, flirt, etc with
any1 of any age that comes in, whereas i never really get
past the 'hi. thats 12.99' stage.

:-)

i think in some ways in afraid of showing the real me, in
case of what people may think. coz if ur quiet then any1 can
think anything of ur personality, but if u show ur insides
more then they either like u or dont. and i think im afraid
of that rejection subconciously.

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 15:05 [#00074065]

Okay, I had interpreted the making silly faces in the wrong
way grinningcat. It's true that there are many people who
are really good at that... telling a story so that everyone
is listening and waving their arms and making funny voices
etc... but I could never see myself in that role. It's a
nice fantasy indeed, but when I actually do say something in
a group of people I feel incredibly akward when they all
look at me and listen to what I have to say... sometimes i
litteraly wish i were invisible.

"i guess i was just talking about the contradiction that
exists in me; i want to be the life of the party, the centre
of attention, but at the same time i hate being at the
centre of attention."

I feel the same way...
I'm an artschool-student myself, so every once in a while we
get an evaluation, and everybody has to put their work up on
a wall, and look at other people's work.

What I really love is when people are looking at my work and
saying something nice about it, whilst I'm standing
somewhere they can't see me ;-) I do find myself enjoying
the fact that people are saying nice things about me...

However then everyone (one at a time) has to stand in front
of the whole class and tell them about what they've been
doing... and that really freaks me out! I can't stand being
there at the centre of everyone's attention. And even when
classmates or teachers are saying nice things I just want to
get back there in the crowd.
(I tend to wait and stand at the back of the room the whole
time untill I'm the last person who has to give a
presentation and no-one is paying much attention anymore
anyway... it worked pretty well, except one teacher noticed
it and would always let me be the first to talk, aaaargh!)

"Im so f*cking sick and tired of people judging me like
that; 'the nice quiet boy', 'very quiet and concientious
person'"

I have grown to appreciate that... I quite like being a nice
and quiet boy. However when someone takes the time to walk
towards me and actually talk to me, I would like to be able
to express myself a little bit. I'd be more than happy if I
could just think out loud in front of someone (just the one
person... perhaps another nice and quiet person :-)).

"im getting better by the week i think."

That's really great! I mean that :-)
Happy for you!

"but i think for really gaining confidence like that u have
to go out meet lots of people and experience lots of new
things."

Yes, I'm finding that out... if I really want to change I
probably should be doing all the things that I'm so afraid
of and really don't want to do...

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 15:05 [#00074066]

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 15:06 [#00074068]

i don't know why it posted that twice... i'm pretty sure i
pushed the post-button only once

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 15:14 [#00074071]

"yeah, I would never be able to do something stupid like
that, but the fact that I was there considering it was scary
enough..."

Indeed... I can imagine quite clearly how you gradually get
to that point where you see no other way out... to everyone
who actually does commit suicide it probably didn't seem
like a very extreme thing to do, just the next logical step.
But hearing it like this... it really scared me. That I
could get so lonely that I would actually consider that... I
REALLY want to avoid that.

surrounded by demons from neverneverland on 2002-01-23 15:28 [#00074073]

I completely understand everything you're saying
grinningcat. I really don't look down on people who are able
to do that, just talk to people, make funny remarks, flirt,
laugh... etc... I think that's amazing. Even if 99% is
really shallow and meaningless... it's also the only way to
maybe meet one or two people that actually have got
something to say. I always though there would be no-one in
the world that would be like me (like the same music and
share the same interests etc.), but already through internet
I find that even in my own country there are lots of nice
people... I think if I would socialize more, I would also
discover them in my surroundings.

Every saturday I work as a mailman, and I'm forcing myself
to at least say: "have a nice weekend!" to everyone I meet
and to people that open the door etc. It seems silly really,
but it does feel good when complete strangers say it back to
me :-) And sometimes some sort of conversation will develop
from it... I'm still horribly bad at it and don't know many
things to say... but it's a start I figured.

I have thought about the fact that possibly I'm afraid to
get hurt when I talk to people. Whenever you say your
opinion, you run the risk that people won't agree with you,
and will even think you're strange or weird... when you open
up, you also make yourself vulnerable. I find that I always
say I'm doing okay, even when I'm feeling really terrible...

"coz if ur quiet then any1 can think anything of ur
personality, but if u show ur insides more then they either
like u or dont. and i think im afraid of that rejection
subconciously."

Exactly! I think you're absolutely right... that is probably
the reason why I am so closed and introverted. If you don't
take any risks, you won't get hurt. But you also aren't able
to accomplish anything.

B3n from Falkland Islands on 2002-01-23 15:56 [#00074084]

I'm actually happy the way I am. I'd hate to be just like
everyone else (not that I'd think it bad if I were).

I think in the long run, I'm going to be happier with myself
and maybe more fulfilled because I know what I did/do is
truly what I want to do and not what society dictates.

As with girls, I don't really have a problem with them and
get on very well with them, I just find it harder to take
things further, but as I say, thats only once I have got to
know them.

Clive aka Maximus Volumus aka Clive Cliveson from Northeast Cliveland on 2002-01-23 16:03 [#00074085]

shy eh?
Coconut.

I am shy too, and i wish i werent, its difficult not to be
when ur used to it. It can sometimes lead to self torture or
suicide. Both are good options.

Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2002-01-23 16:31 [#00074103]

I'm unhappy right now, in a depression. I don't think it has
to do with being shy or lonely... I was at a party
socializing the other night, and I'm not too bad with
people, my shyness isn't debilitating or anything. I can
talk to complete stranger and I'm a good conversationalist,
but I think I'd rather go off by myself... it isn't shyness
or loneliness that's bugging me, I'm not sure what it is. My
life is missing something.

hevquip from 45.697 bits of electricity on 2002-01-23 16:42 [#00074114]

i prefer not talking to people because of the stupid things
they put a value to.

people are concerned with the unimportant things in life.

people don't shut up often enough. if they'd shut up, they
could spend some time in their own thoughts and analyze
their lives.

Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2002-01-23 16:46 [#00074118]

I sit behind these two really popular girls in my
anthropology class...

All 50 minutes, they just ramble on about shallow garbage.
''Oooh, that guy's so cute'', ''oh, I hate that bitch!'',
''I drank SOOOOO much last night'', ''do you like my new
sweater, Abercrombie and Fitch?''

It drives me MAD!

borix on 2002-01-23 16:54 [#00074125]

I'm not really shy, better call it reserved. I'm not always
interested in the things other people talk about (shallow
shit). Before that bothered me because you mis some
connection with other people and it made me nervous. You try
to ake the connection, 'fit in' but it sucks and it's an
unintresting life they lead (IMHO!).
ow I have a lot more selfconfidence and I'm just being my
quiet reserved self. Now I see people getting nervous of me
because I just do my own thing and I don't need their
'group' to belong too. I got my own bunch of great friends
and they know me, know how I am.

It's really funny how some people get uneasy when I just
doin'my'thing. Hehe.

Monoid on 2002-01-23 17:13 [#00074130]

...The problem is, some of you people just think to
much........

B3n from Falkland Islands on 2002-01-23 17:40 [#00074140]

We are the dreamers of the dreamers

grinningcat on 2002-01-23 18:28 [#00074143]

thanks again for the lengthy replies 'surrounded', its
always nice to know some1 feels the same way in the society
we're in :-)

cya all....

Tripewriter from trapped inside a tear-duct on 2002-01-23 18:46 [#00074146]

Old Beatnik:

"i wouldn't call myself shy as such but introverted by
design (so to speak), in a way i choose to be on my own,
talking to myslef, and observing rather than interacting
(precisely hevquip). I Like my own company, to be alone with
myself, my own thoughts, no one elses: an introvert"

Nice fuckin' answer...but you seem to have made one major
omission: If
you're such a fuckin' 'introvert', why the fuck do you hang
out w/ me??? You've
really hurt my feelings this time...
(sobbing)

Did you just use me for sex??? Why is this happening to
me???

Old Beatnik: you may not believe me,
but I love you...and do you know what the saddest part is???
I never learnt to read!!!! (hysterically crying).

You fuck my wife?
Oh yeah, you are my wife...

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock...

“Are we nearly there yet?”

“Nearly where?”

“Nearly at the end of this post...”

“What post???”

Fuck it! I'm over you now anyway.....I love
Tinkerbell...............or maybe Gummi Bear no.7.........

Anyway, Beatnik: You'll die, ooh yes, you will die!!!!!!!!!
Fear my wrath shit-head!!!!

All your face belongs to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, Beatnik: I'm pregnant...... (cue Dynamite Headdy
Theme......)

|REFLEX| from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on 2002-01-23 21:50 [#00074209]

Actually im farthest away from shy and quiet, im always
talking about something, usually offensive in some manner to
someone in the room. Thats just the way iam, its not on
purpose to show how immature I can be, its just some serious
topic that shouldnt be discussed infront of people that dont
belong to your group of close friends. People get weirded
out and feel akward in those situations, not me... I just
act normal as always, I dont really get a long with shy
people because I dont like how they are and they dislike how
I act.

Old Beatnik from las vegas on 2002-01-23 22:03 [#00074217]

tripewriter:
i'm sorry my dear wife, i try not to mention the fact that i
have a wife simply for your protection (honestly, they'd all
be looking at you, lusting after you "hey you, you fuck my
wife?" "What?" "you heard me, you fuck my wife?" "no" "Ha!
you lie, you sonofabitch, you did fuck my wife, and now you
will die", YOu See.....

i may hang around with you but you're an intovert too, so
you don't count as such.....

Phone rings
"pick up"
rings
"pick up"
rings
"pick up the fucking phone!"
rings
"you fuck my wife?"
click

Old Beatnik from las vegas on 2002-01-23 22:05 [#00074218]

AAAAAUUUUUUHGGGGHHHHH, Jesus christ, you're pregnant!!!!!
why didn't you tell me before!!!!how lonG???

...........he better be a little beatnik or i will have to
divorce you and fuck someone's wife..................

Xanatos from NYC on 2002-01-24 00:58 [#00074269]

I'm not shy and quiet.
I try not to say anything however if it doesn't need to be
said.
But I'm almost always open to meeting and talking to new
people, and joking around and talking with my friends.

Recently, however, I've had less of a desire to be polite,
especially to people I don't care about. Like friends of my
friends whom I don't really care about one way or another,
and I know will just drift out of my life, I don't really
give any importance to. I don't try to build any fake
relationship with someone whom I know I have no grounds for
friendship with. Its like I've realized more and more that
you can only keep so many close people around you, and its
more important to keep them close, then to bullshit with the
ghosts (like the poeple who walk by you on the street) who
come and go.

Interesting thread, by the way, taking me a while to read
through it.

silverflux from NYC on 2002-01-24 00:59 [#00074270]

i'm a bit shy as well. don't really like to talk much. a
lot of what people say is trite.

whatever.

imagine living in nyc and looking at the people walking
around. even with friends of mine, i feel like they try and
stuff fashion down my throat. i'd rather spend my bones on
cds and books. fuck the prada shoes and the gucci bags.
I WANT TO BE ME!!!!
;)

Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2002-01-24 01:05 [#00074274]

I've worn the same shirt the last 4 days. (don't worry, my
mom washed it. I smell good. :-D )

So I don't care about fashion. And the thing is, it is SOOOO
important... it almost seems like the people you hang out
with, your clique, is determined by what you WEAR... I get
along with some goths in my college, but I'll never really
BE one of them, because I don't dress or LOOK that way. Even
though we get along on an intellectual level... all you have
to do is dress like a group, and they'll accept you, I
swear.

Fuck fashion.

silverflux from NYC on 2002-01-24 01:10 [#00074278]

yeah, fuck superficial fashion.
can you believe that someone told me to my face that what i
wear is not acceptable for nyc. i'm fine in my t-shirt,
jeans, and sneakers thank you very much.

i don't follow the herd.

silverflux from NYC on 2002-01-24 01:25 [#00074282]

we should all be fitter, happier, more productive.

Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2002-01-24 01:40 [#00074290]

Comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise at the
gym, three days a week...

AMinal from toronto, canada on 2002-01-24 01:42 [#00074293]

right on silverflux..

AMinal from toronto, canada on 2002-01-24 01:43 [#00074295]

i would join in but i dont remember exactly how it goes..

conacure from Alaska on 2002-01-24 02:44 [#00074304]

There are more people I can relate to than I initially
anticipated.

conacure from Alaska on 2002-01-24 02:46 [#00074305]

Care too much about others' approval and you will be their
prisoner.

-Tao Te Ching

The_Funkmaster from Newfoundland, Canada on 2002-01-24 03:05 [#00074311]

that is so true... you can only find happiness within...
there are many things which can help, but I think true
happiness comes from within...

silverflux from nyc on 2002-01-24 03:33 [#00074324]

happiness does come from within...
but if i'm sad, i am within my right to be sad.
(pet peeve: when strangers tell me to turn that frown upside
down...wtf?)

/end of bitching/

AMinal from toronto, canada on 2002-01-24 03:39 [#00074328]

"thats a smile, not an upside down frown!" - lisa's tap
dancing instructor

good old simpsons.. i dont know about you, but little
simpsons quotes like that find their way into most of my
conversations.. usually cheering me up..

ur right though.. happiness does come from inside.. but its
one thing to say that (most people do) but its another to
actually act on it and get happiness from inside.. konw what
i mean?
it shouldn't be something that you try to achieve though..
if ur trying to achieve it then ur going about it the wrong
way i think

silverflux from nyc on 2002-01-24 03:47 [#00074332]

i love the simpsons..been watching the show since it was a
skit on the tracey ullman show.

Xanatos from NYC on 2002-01-24 04:08 [#00074334]

jesus christ a female who lives near me, loves the simpsons,
and loves aphex twin

come to Washington Heights!!!

silverflux from nyc on 2002-01-24 04:11 [#00074335]

i used to hang out at washington heights.
loved the "arroz con pollo!"
yum.

Xanatos from NYC on 2002-01-24 05:35 [#00074347]

lol, noone in my neighborhood speaks english, much less
listens to electronic music.

the only non-dominican food in my neighborhood besides
mcdonalds and the diner is:
"'U' Like Chinese Food"
which is pretty ghetto, but the food isn't bad.

ok I succomb to turning this into an AOL chatroom, how old
are you (silverflux)?

i'll hear nothing out of you ophecks =)!

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