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Basically my new girlfriend lives a couple of hours drive away. We planned last weekend that as she had this weekend off work and I won't be able to see her for 2 weeks at least after this one, I'd go down there for the weekend. In order to get my work for next weekend done so I can go away for this weekend I have been working like an absolute bitch the past week- doing about 12 hours a day on average. Now, literally 3 hours before I'm due to leave the house I get an email saying her parents don't want me to go because her mum is ill. Understandably, I'm a bit pissed off as I could of taken the work at a more leisurely pace and done some this weekend (which it now looks like I'll be doing anyway). However, I feel like a selfish git as from the looks of it her Mum has just been diagnosed with some sort of terminal illness. Any advice, comments? Should I go out with someone if they live at home and their mother is terminally ill (she can't come down here if she will be looking after her all the time)? Am I being completely unreasonable? Sorry to bitch about it, but it has been one of those times where it has been a very hard week and only the thought of a nice weekend away from home/work has kept me going and now, I'm robbed of it at the last minute. |
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god tests us in many ways |
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So because her mother is ill you wont date her? |
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Yes, he tested me plenty earlier today with some programming I was doing... Only after much prayer did it work. |
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you better pray your gf doesnt know about this message board. |
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How much do you like this girl? Is she a soul mate, or just some girl? Cause I mean, if she was "the one" I'd happily drive down, maybe meet her for coffee on Saturday, stay at a motel and meet her again briefly on Sunday, given the opportunity. |
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Well, I've only been going out with her a week- it's not like breaking up with her at this stage is going to cause any great amount of heartache for anyone. My experience has taught me that distance relationships only work if both parties agree to keep certain time free and meet up. The reason I feel selfish is it's not her fault and she is probably just as (if not more) annoyed by this than me. It's just that if her mother is termianlly ill and she spends all the time she's not in work looking after her, it's not really fair to me is it? |
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I think she might need someone to lean on for support so it would be a good idea to make her feel happy. All I can say is to ask her what she wants, and say what you also want to |
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Tolstoyed, yes, that had crossed my mind and there is a slight chance she may read this. Fleetmouse: I'm a student again and I've just paid for a new clutch for my car- I've not got the cash to spare on things like motels :( At the moment she is just "some girl" (although I do like her a lot) I don't really know her well enough to decide if it's anything more than that. |
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yes that was what I was going to post. Talk it over with her. Even if it doesn't work out she'll appreciate that. |
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all women have terminal illnesses. they call it PMS. |
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I'd say if you've only been going out a week and they ask you to let them alone, the only decent thing to do is let them alone get drunk and have sex with a nasty fucking hooker. |
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Sack her off and find yourself a girl who lives closer to home. She isn't really your girlfriend after only one week and form what you have typed it would make sense to do it now rather than when she starts to rely on you as a shoulder to cry on. Maybe you are too sensitive or don't have the experience yet to be able to confidently handle a situation like this. That's not a bad thing but you should make sure that at this stage you do what is best for you. |
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See my response to fleetmouse ;) On the plus side I got the email before I showered and shaved. I'd be annoyed if I'd done that unneccessarily too... |
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well... you're not being selfish! ' _' if her parents don't want you to come, don't go... but if later it's ok for you to come (and even if it isn't), try to be as nice with them as possible... care about it, without being obsessed with it... don't stop dating your girlfriend because of that - maybe her parents would then feel guilty afterwards, for preventing you two to be together, you never know after all? it is a very sad situation, but you have to cope with it, somehow... |
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the only reason hes wanting to "sack her off" is because of her mothers illness, shes alive and fine and even if she does lives miles away thing happen for a reason. you never know maybe she doesnt want a relationship. Speak to her before worrying your little head off |
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the only reason hes wanting to "sack her off" is because of her mothers illness, shes alive and fine and even if she does lives miles away thing happen for a reason. you never know maybe she doesnt want a relationship. Speak to her before worrying your little head off |
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Yes, I don't feel I should go out with her out of sympathy- I'd only end up resenting her if I did. I'll see what the craic is with her mother first before I decide. Another thing is I don't want to be a total cunt either as circumstance means I would still see her occassionally at parties etc. |
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damn that never happens to me....only maybe once. Now I sound like a bitch twice :) |
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Still a fuck closer to home would be more beneficial anyway and it's not as though bitches are hard to come by. |
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kochlear > this comment was a bit of bad taste in my humble opinion... =/ |
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you females are twisted creatures :P this mother thing could indeed be an excuse to break the thing off her end. Lads just say "Bitch I don't like you any more", girls have to come out with all sorts of excuses. |
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real nice |
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I never used to like you, but I have grown to love you over the last year :P |
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"can we still be friends?" fu-u-uck off! |
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what the fuck are you blabblin about?? You swear we need an excuse for everything, if we're such bitches then we'll tell you straight out "youre dicks to small, its not doing anything for me I have a better time letting the water run through me!" |
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yeah right...I'll give you something to love |
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christ this thread certainly has plumeted |
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Normally my girlfriends have a better grasp of the English language or no grasp at all :P But bitches do come out with over the top shit all the time. Like one of my ex's said she didn't want to see me any more because I had been stealing off her, but that was just an excuse, it was really because I was doing her mum as well. |
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I'd made up my mind previously not to actively seek for a girl, but if there was one I liked and it happened of its own accord, I'd get together with them. So, I suppose she is special in a way as she's the first girl in over a year I've really been that bothered about... You're right, I probably could get a girl closer to home without any difficulty, but I'd probably not choose to. Good thing I'm not a co-dependant psycho who would rule out breaking it off purely to avoid being alone, so at least that isn't clouding my judgement. |
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hahaha, nice. Good for you. haha bad bad bad boy. JC-it seems like you do know the path you want, but you really dont know what will happen when you get there. Dont be a typicall guy ( yes typical guy) and do something stupid then realize it was mistake and come running back to the girl-that shit gets old after a while :D |
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What's so hard to understand about being several penises travelling to a place that is small. Not doing anything and you prefer having a slash to the afformentioned penises going to a small place? :P |
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Then just see how it goes. Dont do anything while you are still pissed off about being let down today, wait until tomorrow and even better just let it sort itself out. It will probably naturally become more apparent over the next week or so what the outcome will be. |
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perhaps you focused too much on the weekend all week. you could ring/email her asking how here mother is and if you could set up another meeting. after this i';m sure your mind wouyld probably me more at rest, and you could find something else to enjoy doing this weekend. buy something for yourself tomorrow to compensate. |
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hahaha exactly. |
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Ha ha! I've never crawled back to a girl in my life- I've only apologised to one for my actions once and that was because I was genuinely in the wrong that time... That's why I'll wait a week or so to muse on it- so I won't make a snap decision I'll regret. :) |
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Both our weekends were shot. I was gonna have a visitor over the weekend also, but it didnt happen...im alone. and i wont see him at all :( |
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:) gotcha |
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Yes, good plan. As to the buying something, I'll just go for a swim for a couple of hours tommorow morning, that always cheers me up. :) |
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you could talk to your g/f and sugest going down there and staying in a b&b or something, as apposed to staying at the house, just so that you can be there for her. You shouldent feel selfish, your just frustrated more than anything probably. I know your not a selfish person so you shouldent feel bad, just try and show support for your girlfriend, I know you will anyway xxx |
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oh look someone has a heart "you could ring/email her asking how here mother is and if you could set up another meeting." hahaha im just jerkin your chain :P |
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i wish you would "jerk my chain" you little tart! |
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Wanna meet up for a substitue weekend? Oh wait, you're even further away... ;) Ta for the wise words Pogo! :D |
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You strike me as someone with your head firmly screwed on. I'm sure you'll figure it out and do the right thing. |
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Dude, just go with the flow. |
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try having a girlfriend from America. Now THAT`s distance.... |
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I have but I have heard rumours she is two timing me with some Scottish cunt. |
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greece is pretty harsh too :( |
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hahaha bad bad bad------i love it! |
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Reflecting on this further... had I not checked my email earlier today, I would of assumed all was going to plan and would now be driving there. There'd be a rather awkward scene as I realise what an imposition I've made when they've told her specifically I can't come over (they'd hardly send me back home at 10.00pm). Strange as she usually texts or rings.. perhaps her plan was for me to turn up anyway and use me not getting the email as an excuse? I'm probably reading too much into it... hmph. |
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