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A Poem I Wrote!!
 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-06-09 21:15 [#00257272]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



Mistakes


The mistakes I’ve made linger on,
And I sit with the feeling eating away at me.
What can I do to fix the wrongs I’ve done?
Is there anything?
If there is, tell me and I will do it!

I want to speak with you,
And try to make you see my point of view.
I don’t claim to be right, because I was wrong,
But I want you to understand what I was feeling.
I wonder if speaking would do any good.

It wasn’t just one loss, but the loss of my whole world.
My world was falling apart, and it was dragging me down,
And so I decided to batter you with my feelings,
And make you feel what I felt… but it wasn’t even your
fault!!

I was wrong!!!


It was a huge mistake and I’m sorry,
But it’s in the past now, and there is nothing I can do.
I need your forgiveness,
Because it seems everyone hates me for what I have done.
Are you going to hate me forever?
I just can’t wait that long!!

By: Jonathan Coish



 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2002-06-09 21:38 [#00257341]
Points: 24571 Status: Regular



i won't hate you forever!


 

offline Amonbrune from Vancouver (Canada) on 2002-06-09 21:39 [#00257345]
Points: 7327 Status: Addict



thats pretty good man :)


 

offline Jedi Chris on 2002-06-09 21:47 [#00257355]
Points: 11495 Status: Regular | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00257272



You are very talented Mr Funkmaster - very talented indeed!

Is poetry a hobby of yours?


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2002-06-09 21:54 [#00257365]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



dude, i feel like that right now.

my girlfriend interpreted me not letting my self get my
hopes up (because every time i do, they come crashing down
hard) as disappointment. this happened about 5 minutes ago,
and i feel sick as hell.


 

offline RobE from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-09 21:59 [#00257370]
Points: 1608 Status: Regular | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00257272



Good stuff...but it begs the question: what exactly did you
do wrong? }:>


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-06-09 23:39 [#00257476]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



thank you all very much... I do write poems sometimes, not
as much now as I used to though... I wrote that one just
before I posted it, as I was feeling inspired... and well,
the inspiration I cannot tell you guys about... lets just
say it was a bad, stupid thing that happened, and I regret
it deeply, and miss the people involved who I haven't talked
to in year...


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-06-10 00:16 [#00257576]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



That's some good stuff. I'm going to copy and paste it and
pretend it's mine and brag about my mad poetry skillz,
dawg!

I write psychotic poems in my head constantly, wacky prose,
but I don't write them down. I should... but it feels
awkward, you know.



 

offline aron from saskatoon (Canada) on 2002-06-10 00:31 [#00257591]
Points: 3756 Status: Lurker



i have to write some poems for a school assignment that's
due tomorrow.
none of mine are that good :p

nice work mr funkmastr


 

offline maxx_damage from La Paz (Bolivia) on 2002-06-10 01:18 [#00257678]
Points: 112 Status: Regular



i dont like poetry, but that was nice.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-06-10 03:03 [#00257757]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to aron: #00257591



really, thanks for the great compliments guys... it means a
lot...

but aron, all good poetry is from the heart... if you try to
write fancy words, and follow rules for lengths and all that
the poetry comes out sounding fake and no good in my
opinion... just let it flow man, whatever comes to mind,
whatever you feel... that's good poetry!! And yes, it sounds
lame, but it's true... it's very theraputic as well, getting
stuff off your chest!!


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 17:26 [#01455328]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular | Followup to Jedi Chris: #00257355



Classic.


 

offline deepspace9mm from filth on 2005-01-12 17:33 [#01455336]
Points: 6846 Status: Addict



I think i just laughed myself inside-out.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 17:36 [#01455339]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



ha ha ha!!


 

offline Dannn_ from United Kingdom on 2005-01-12 17:36 [#01455340]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker



It feels good to let it out but once its out you should
probably burn it.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 17:37 [#01455343]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



and remember - all good poetry is from the heart...


 

offline DJ Xammax from not America on 2005-01-12 17:38 [#01455346]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker



You couldn't make it up.


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 17:38 [#01455347]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



Me too, but now laugh-time is over and I have to wonder what
heinous act it was that inspired The_Funkmaster to pen his
seminal work "Mistakes"?

And so I decided to batter you with my feelings,

Looking at this line, I think he battered someone (to an
inch of their life) with his feelings (a sock with batteries
inside).


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2005-01-12 17:42 [#01455354]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



i wrote a poem once, and i've never been able to forgive
myself for that.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 17:46 [#01455365]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



now laugh-time is over. :*(


 

offline Dannn_ from United Kingdom on 2005-01-12 17:46 [#01455366]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker



I think the line should have been

'And so I decided to fill you with my batter'


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2005-01-12 17:47 [#01455370]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



when poetry is good it can be really good, but when it's bad
it's unbearable.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 17:47 [#01455372]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



And so I decided to make you a platter


 

offline Dannn_ from United Kingdom on 2005-01-12 17:49 [#01455375]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker



I'm no literature-man but I'm guessing 'mistakes' represent
odorous turds in other people's toilets. Read it through
again and it will all make sense.


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 17:51 [#01455376]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



It's laugh-time again.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 17:52 [#01455377]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



laugh-time! :*)


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2005-01-12 17:54 [#01455384]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



i like laugh-time.

it's almost as awesome as making a nice "mistake" first
thing in the morning.


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 17:56 [#01455387]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



It gives the final stanza, in which I imagine Coish at his
target's house, urgently pleading for forgiveness and access
to the bathroom, so much more poignancy.


 

offline deepspace9mm from filth on 2005-01-12 17:57 [#01455388]
Points: 6846 Status: Addict



Commence: Sad And Regret time.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 19:43 [#01455529]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



My Top Three Favourite Bits:

1. I was wrong!!!
2. By: Jonathan Coish
3. Mistakes


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 19:45 [#01455532]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



Mine:

3. I just can’t wait that long!!
2. I don’t claim to be right, because I was wrong
1. I was wrong!!!



 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 19:46 [#01455535]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



to clarify, the place in the poem is vital to my choices,
the tabs, so to say.


 

offline thecurbcreeper from United States on 2005-01-12 19:48 [#01455539]
Points: 6045 Status: Lurker | Followup to Dannn_: #01455340



ha! :D


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2005-01-12 19:48 [#01455541]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular



fuck me sideways! I can't stop laughing..


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 19:49 [#01455543]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



the winner:


Attached picture

 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 19:52 [#01455547]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



but the best things are probably the tips on writing poetry.


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 19:54 [#01455553]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



just let it flow man


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2005-01-12 19:54 [#01455555]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01455547



but aron, all good poetry is from the heart


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 19:55 [#01455556]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular



It was Jedi Chris' comment that really started off my
laugh-time earlier


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2005-01-12 19:55 [#01455557]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular



I think I've gone blind now


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 19:56 [#01455560]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to JivverDicker: #01455555



ha ha!!

oh my that one is good!


Attached picture

 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-12 19:57 [#01455563]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to horsefactory: #01455556



how did you find it?


 

offline horsefactory from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-01-12 20:00 [#01455571]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01455563



Just chipping around in the 50,000+s, you know how it is.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-01-13 19:32 [#01457400]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



I just had to read it again.


 

offline SPD from United States on 2005-01-13 21:09 [#01457532]
Points: 1090 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



i don't write poems but the coffee made me write this
today:

This pen is very hard to write w/ as the ball is dry. Its
giving me quite a finger work out. Soon my fingers will
become obsessed w/ going to the gym + admiring their rock
hard bodies. They'll end up getting more girlfriends that I
do. Maybe if I'm lucky they'll take me along on their dates.
I'd hate to have to sever my hand.


 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2005-01-13 21:10 [#01457533]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator



oh man, we have some twisted mods aroud here..


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2005-01-14 07:00 [#01458192]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



I'd like to thank both The_Funkmaster and Jedi Chris forr
cheerring me up in what was otherrwise going to be a sad
borring day.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2005-01-14 07:03 [#01458203]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



I know what you did last last summerr


 

offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2005-01-14 07:05 [#01458207]
Points: 12165 Status: Regular



Good poetry!!


 

offline happy cycling from berlin on 2005-01-19 01:37 [#01466540]
Points: 2786 Status: Regular



how humiliating -- it's like walking in on someone
masturbating.


 


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