 |
|
You are not logged in! F.A.Q Log in Register |
 |
|
 |
 (nobody)...and 304 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
 |
Members 8025Messages 2613457 Today 3 Topics 127500 |
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
What’s the closest you’ve come to having sex? A couple of years ago a girl told me that she thought the colour of my hair complemented the colour of my eyes. I suppose that is the closest I’ve come to sex. Needless to say, I came in my pants as soon as I noticed her look at me. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
two nights ago I went to a girls house, and she yanked me into her room. there were red christmas lights above a huge homogenic poster at the head of her bed. she grinned and said something about wanting to ride me until I drowned, and then we fucked like rabbits. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
That´s that close to sex - I would say that WAS sex indeed. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I once accidently bumped my crotch into the buttocks of a pensioner while standing on a bus. The bus driver braked harshly and I lunged uncontrolllably forward. She just turned around and grinned knowingly at me. I couldn't follow up the pass though as I was late for a meeting with my local bridge club. Is there anything so haunting as regret my friends? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i wrote a song about it. It's one of the best songs I've ever made. You will listen: |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
sex just plain bores the shit outta me. masturbation is the sport i like to indulge in... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
the last time i came close to female genitals whas when i got born i geuss ... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
lol illfates I just noticed your from Chico pretty easy to get laid up there |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
how old are you guys!?!?!?! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
me 30 |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
and youre all virgins?!?!?!?!!! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Yeah, that bus story sounds all too familiar jonesy. Oh how I love fake teeth and walking frames.. RAWWRRR!! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
well, I thought that was the safest way to go to heaven... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I'm saving myself for someone I love. I only love myself at the moment so I just have sex with myself. Look after numero one I say. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Don't forget the whiskers (and not the can in her tartan shopping trolley). |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
There was also that time a handicapped person ran over my foot in her automated buggy. She tried to swerve out of the way at the last minute and her handlebar ended up in my crotch.. the pain was worth it. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Is eating pussy accepted in the definition of sex? If it is, than I am afraid I might not be ending up in heaven after all... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
hoe, jonesy, I'd say thelonius punk is blending well into our little pervs club here... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I got the impression that you were a vegetarian. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I believe he is Meho, I believe he is. I think he's stepped into our beloved KEN's shoes snugly. Welcome Punk to Jonesy and Meho's world of sexual depravity. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
No, no, not just yet... BTW do you know of finnish black metal band called Impaled Nazarene? I mentioned it here a couple of times. They have the best songtitle this side of Analk Cunt: "I eat pussy for breakfast" |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
yeah, here's to an endless session of online circle-jerks |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I missed the conversation regarding shaved balls. Would you be so kind as to point me in the right direction of this thread? I once knew someone who shaved their balls. They suffered insufferable itching for quite a while. Silly boy. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
hmm.. I used to be a vegetarian.. I'm sort of an unofficial one now. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
As in; you still eat meat but posture as a vegetarian or you don't eat meat but pretend to be a raw steak munching blood fiend? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Whoa, I posted about shaving your balls on another board quite a while ago.. hmm.. the only responses I got were from girls.. There's no way in hell I'd do it, especially at the risk of the hair growing back twice as thick.. I don't want to have to shave TWICE every morning dammit. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Punk: what, so you only eat meat when nobody's looking? jonesy: it was called bollocks, I'll see to dig it out for you. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I only order salads and then when everyone's got their back turned I suck cock for a living. errr.... *cough* *Shrugs* If I can't be stuffed or if someone's gone to the trouble of making something with meat I won't bitch and I'll eat the damned thing. When I'm in a more stable place and am able to move out and live by myself I'll probably go back to hardcore veggieness. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
uuuung... i just ate six pancakes because there is nothing else to eat, and it's making my guts bubble funny |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I once shaved a line in my eyebrow to exhibit my affinity with the greatest of MCs Vanilla Ice. Boy was I a cool cat as an 11 year old. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
ehh, the fucking topic seems to be destroyed, can't find it, I quit after about 10 posts so It might have developed into something phob didn't like (he's being sensitive these days, I'm sure you've noticed) and he trashed it... I'd ask manicminer as he started it but he's offline now... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I'll bet jonesy. Pancakes? With syrup? If you didn't have syrup I'm going to beat you. I just had a mini pizza.. mmm.. greasy as a teenager's face. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
shaved balls rule anyway. They look nice, make your penis look longer and are definitely more convenient to suck (or so i'm told) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
of course there was syrup. My house is such a fucking shithole that we had to make the pancake mix in a zip lock bag. Over all, in the entire process, we used two paper plates, some old margarine, a plastic spoon, zip lock bag, syrup, a martini glass, pancake mix, and a pan. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
We we'll have to lower the tone ourselves then. I'm going for lunch in minute. I'm going to the arthouse cinema down the road as usual. I like to order tofu and mung beans and sit reading Kafka. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I bet you also wear glasses to look even more sophisticated. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Tofu, Mung beans and kafka..hawhaw!! See ya Jonesy. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i am a sophisticated gentleman. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Yes I do you crazy bitches; glasses and my corduroy jacket with leather shoulder patches. I'll see you in a bit. Don't nobody go nowhere. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i sleep now. goodnight. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
HEY, its the american history X kid. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
nice picture... *fap fap fap* |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
trust me its not worth waiting... its like waiting for the supermarket to open in the morning. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
topic is "bollocks". |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Don't make me ride a buggy into your crotch! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Ah, yeah, thanks Peter, i wonder why I couldn't find it... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I been involved in some pubic shaving in my time... Can't recall if I told you lot about it before tho; I think I have actually...the shaving was pretty sexy but we then decided it would be a good idea to sunbathe on this bit of wasteground...I'd already been awake for like 2 days so the inevitable happened and we both fell asleep in the sun.... ouch.... Not that recommended...but then again, getting lotioned afterwards was pretty sexy.... Shit, I've just remembered something else that happened that weekend...but fucked if I'm telling you lot...:).. (why do I confess everything here?...I really should've been a catholic :)...)... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I have had sex before... My first g-f even let me shave her. (she shaved just about everywhere) You know, on the topic of the whole pubic shaving thing. But I never let her do it to me... I couldn't put that much trust in her. No chance. I have had lots of sex. Only once in the past 1.3 years tho. But I haven't even been trying. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Taxi: so when you say sex, that actually inncludes another person involved? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
The funniest thing about losing your virginity is the inevitable conversation afterwards... "Was that your first time?..." "umm...No.."... everyone does it; I've said it & others have said it to me...and it's always so obvious you are lying... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
Messageboard index
|
|||||||||
