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Addiction and brain learning
 

offline RussellDust on 2019-10-14 14:14 [#02587482]
Points: 15104 Status: Regular



(I suffered from heavy addiction and severe depression. I
still struggle a bit with addiction and depression but I got
about of the worse, and I have to say that you feel rewarded
once you manage to overcome your demons. Nothing quite like
being victorious facing such hard times!)


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-10-14 14:14 [#02587483]
Points: 15104 Status: Regular



I got out of the worse*


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-15 01:43 [#02587557]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular



music helps, listening to lighten the mood a bit.
when that fails, writing music can be a real lifeline. like
this track, i was seriously messed up. every time i
stopped focusing on typing in hex codes and bending samples,
the weight of the situation would come back, and i wanted to
wail and scream and cry. often did; it didn't help. it's a
bit of a cliche that tragedy makes for good art, but rarely
does anyone give thought to the mechanics -- it wasn't the
tragedy that gave me the substance for a great track, it was
the tragedy that left me unable to focus on anything a
track, lest i cavitate into boiling misery.

simcity 2000 is similar. it simply engages me. i will
compulsively click at it for hours, forget to eat. but, more
importantly, the weight on my shoulders fades off when i'm
sucked into it. it's not just immediate relief from the
emotional pressure, but after a couple solid hours of not
picking at it, it does start to de-escalate your general
state of being.

working out, hiking, dancing helps too, but i wasn't really
able to make myself do that until i'd written music for a
while

i would not want to go through the emotions i was going
through at that stage just for the sake of cutting another
great track, but it really helped me at the time, and you
may as well put your misery to work somehow.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2019-10-16 03:16 [#02587643]
Points: 21386 Status: Regular | Followup to larn: #02587418



I would not use VR porn... I haven't researched it, but I
bet some twisted oligarch is watching you through the
eyes of your sex doll/software. They probably record you
while you're engaging in VR porn then use that data to
create porn with a virtual version of you naked for someone
else.

'the part of he universe that control which part you fall
into is a judgement on previous events based on your
pathway'

Possibly, but I suspect whatever government (note: "god"
might simply be government, basically a group of
oligarchs/robber barons who have bought up all the
science/intelligence/technology/banks/schools/everything, so
have all the godlike power. I guess I should say "deity" not
god per se, because it actually might be the devil, at least
metaphorically) has implemented this technology have done an
ultra shitty job in the judging department, with all kinds
of false positives. They probably even inverted it so the
worse of a person you are the more you're rewarded and vice
versa. Which explains why the criminal oligarchs are
rewarded with tons of wealth and women for their evil.


 

offline elusive from detroit (United States) on 2019-10-16 14:59 [#02587664]
Points: 18239 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



thnking bout ya, larn


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-10-16 15:03 [#02587666]
Points: 27804 Status: Regular | Followup to elusive: #02587664



Hope he updates us on his situation, it always freaks me out
when people are at their wits end and you don't hear from
them


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2019-10-16 15:09 [#02587669]
Points: 3181 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02587557



solid chune!


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-16 22:59 [#02587727]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular | Followup to DADONCK: #02587669



the "mixmaster! we need acid" was a sample someone here
posted, actually. i think whoever it was even made a thread,
saying, here, this is a good sample. i saved it and then dug
it up for that a few months later


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-16 23:49 [#02587733]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02587475



other track xltronic thred too, title and initial intention
starting the track from steve mcqueen


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-16 23:57 [#02587736]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular



anyways, i dunno. there are moments when i decided something
and crisply turned a corner, but they are far and few
between. 90% of it is, seven months later, realizing, "oh,
hey, yeah, i've actually not been getting fucked up for a
while now"

if you're screwing up, everyone around you is like: well,
stop! it's reasonable, just stop! why can't you just stop
doing that?

while it is completely possible to have a eureka moment and
start living a better life, i think this glittering ideal
actually dooms a good many people trying to dig themselves
out of shit. the reality for most is consistent, steady
pressure in the right direction for a long goddamn time, and
going tony robbins on 'em means any effort to change will
only last a week or two at most


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-17 00:01 [#02587737]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular



a good gem of wisdom is that willpower is like a muscle --
if you try too much at once, you'll just hurt yourself. you
have to train gradually


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-17 00:13 [#02587738]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular



i've realized this conflicts with my advice about
psychedelics earlier. i would say, most of the times i've
had some atomic, transformative moment, it's been while
tripping.

renting a house back in the salad days of 2012 or so, there
was a birdbath in the backyard, and the wind knocked it
over. i'd go to do the dishes, see it out the window, and
think, "jeez, i should go fix that."

then i am tripping, and i think: this is the freaking
problem. that i always make a note to do it, but never do
it, and unless i go out and do it right fucking now, then it
will be fucked forever. then i practically run outside; fix
the birdbath. the drugs wore off, but the moment stuck with
me. it is something i regularly pull out to kick myself in
the ass when necessary. that was also many years and a
million problems ago, so it's not like it immediately solved
things, either. it was more like a decisive moment where the
right strategy finally hit me


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-10-17 00:30 [#02587740]
Points: 16057 Status: Regular



keeping a log is a good strategy. what is it, cola, gambling
and VR porn? find some place no one will ever see and log it
all. from there, your only priority is to ensure that,
week-by-week, the numbers decline. no bullshit like, "this
is an off week, so it's ok." but also not going cold turkey
on multiple addictions at once


 


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