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the new freestyle thread

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-06-29 19:20 [#02581437]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

claimimg unemployment, i fall asleep on the toilet
get my drink on til i'm slurrin in klingon
give a shit bout yr high? let me spoil it
third eye open, can you spot the pink one?
leave you rocking and reeling
how can a simple salaryman be so unfeeling
i'm here to make yr smile flip 180
yr shit got disgraced like kevin spacey


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-06-29 20:40 [#02581445]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

telepathic desert, microranging static
tell an addict i exude micrograms of acid
in my sweat and my blood, a drop should be enough
time to get unglued, tunes to suit yr mood
let a drippy little trooper zip to planet tripper
ride the big dipper, hip cats gettin hipper
some cats will choose to puke up in yr slipper
flip the channel, let yrself unravel little dude


offline mermaidman on 2019-06-29 23:43 [#02581462]
Points: 7786 Status: Lurker | Followup to belb: #02581445

lol yesterday my cat puked on my slipper for real


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-01 03:45 [#02581543]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

double trouble, i'm part pan on horny goat weed
and boa constrictor, i'll squeeze man until we both bleed
scale of richter, abuse both miss and little mister
fuck yr sister then proceed to feed the wood chipper
class dismisser, i'll pop you like the blister on my gum
all the bullshit that i swallowed as a kid left me numb
i was frightened of both open and enclosed spaces
now biters want to bite just to see what having taste is


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-01 21:49 [#02581581]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

but why you bot marry


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-01 21:55 [#02581582]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

i was dreaming of a princess when i was a kid. not the kind
of princess when you grow up


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-01 21:55 [#02581583]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-01 22:21 [#02581586]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Followup to belb: #02581445 | Show recordbag

i was puking the same day out of rotten trash with with
larvas annexed


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-01 22:27 [#02581588]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

reminds me of a jerusalem cat i stared to, standing with his
mouth completely open and immobilized, quite a grime scene,
dont remember if that was the place of an homicide or the
way to a teathre ive been to, its just details


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-01 23:46 [#02581593]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

my oath is hippocratic, hearing messages in static
smokin hash laced with carrier bag plastic
47 pence in my pocket for a loaf of bread
mo i didn't get a single word that you just said
set the bar low and then limbo under it
every time i text my ex i have to run and shit
nervous disposition, what can i say
my only ambition is to battle like midway


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-02 07:19 [#02581607]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

i was meant to be the stick that sustained you, but with
that stick you beat them camel (that doesnt want to take


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-02 07:34 [#02581609]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

them sick camel.


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-03 16:24 [#02581690]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

Heres an extract from my new book 'to live and bum in LA'

Remember all the religion lesson i gave you?

*sends picture of maya*

I want to marry a girl like my old

Praise the gods!


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-03 16:31 [#02581691]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

Scale 2:1


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-07-03 16:53 [#02581692]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

(The main character was 16 at the time)


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-10 04:04 [#02582212]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

mr listerine here, yr a pube in rap's mouth
a solipsistic dream, disappear when i pass out
i can count to three and see you start to tremble
voltron of the tonka toys, see me reassemble
i'm gettin a buzz on, it can end in a love song
or destruction, when i pull out my love truncheon
i'm a deity who doesn't know what day it is
proofread yr bible, it's whatever i say it is


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-21 22:43 [#02582751]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

i'll doc seuss yr shit, i often lose my grip
reality's a newsflash, i'm bitchslapped in the sewer pit
knock boots with this cat in crooked headgear
you end here in a stew of filthy laundry
i'm diggin up bodies, make sure no one can haunt me
won't be done till i blast accursed battle raps back at yer
massacre the last of yer, then just say fuck it
grinders out and chuck yr soapy in the bucket


offline RussellDust on 2019-07-21 22:52 [#02582752]
Points: 15757 Status: Regular

Go into the light until we meet again
That’s what the Corinians say again and again
Knowledge is power
It grows like a flower



offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-23 02:59 [#02582821]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

secure unit? fuck you, i'm moonbooted
jupiter's fruitcake, leave earth to lose weight
loony with a little bit of you mate
genetically based, phonetically erased
but i can slur with the best of em
best rest yr brain, je deteste la heine
but i do humiliate wasters for fun
kiss kiss, hugs, love alex dunn


offline RussellDust on 2019-07-23 23:32 [#02582870]
Points: 15757 Status: Regular

Alright stop
Collaborate and listen


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-24 01:21 [#02582877]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

is that beef or advice? right, roll the dice
i eat vanilla ice and hobz rhymes alike
seeing backwards thru a prism and a periscope
this is hella dope, you decay like an isotope
shag, avoid, marry curie, certainly
sad to see you silently flip the bird at me
not sure if yr joking or layin into me
hope you got ad revenue, i'll put you in the bin for free


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-24 04:09 [#02582884]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

start at 3:58, let's see how long this takes me
my rhymes are so ill my skin looks like flaky pastry
linguistic bazooka, the super duper
a sweet tooth, medicated like i was bupa
pill rattler, for the win battler
i couldn't give a sweet fuck if ya mumsy was bad to ya
learn to live with it, life's a giveaway
you'll get put out in the yard like a stinkin litter tray


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-07-29 22:58 [#02583151]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

my hair's all poofy, it's time to self-roofie
i'm tryin not to lie but i don't know what the truth be
life deleter, i stole the keys from st peter
on more pills than the whole of ibiza
not a born leader or believer
just got hi-scores on the fuckin fuck you meter
flip you off with my paralyzed hand
these rhymes are unplanned
lazarus back from the banned
telling razorblade and freqy i'll stab their family pets
you haven't heard anywhere near as bad as it gets


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-08-02 14:11 [#02583240]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

yr shit might as well be aramaic
you can't even think straight never mind say it
belb on a beat? turn a fella into doner meat
mung beans and tofu, best believe i'll ghost you
smokin killer weed? i'm smokin weedkiller
spiced to unearthly heights, suppin dirty sprites
im confus, drinkin lots of lovely booze
then goin all in, blow my nose on the shroud of turin


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-08-04 18:58 [#02583298]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

i spit my bars while yr bufferin, old man shufflin
best believe i'll bring yr mother in
and it's mumsy's cribs
sells her pussy for a point of whizz
ya diss track's got no backin, ya get a bitchslappin
blow to the teeth and shank you, please and thank you
i'm triple six, make you ring three nines
last lines? nah, belb politely declines


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-08-11 18:15 [#02583477]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

you can't set foot in my psychogeography
step up, like flows are still not onto me
psilocybes for killer vibes, fat bud to rap good
munchin amanita cap, think you need a nap blud
fly like bananaman, you can't go harder man
the sky's signs align, i'm goin out of my mind
still separate signal from the noise
just fake shit from digital toyboys


offline mermaidman on 2019-08-11 21:14 [#02583478]
Points: 7786 Status: Lurker | Followup to belb: #02583477

when you say digital toyboys are you dissing artificial


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-08-11 21:47 [#02583479]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02583478

i was going more for my (imaginary) foes hiding behind
online personas but sure why not, i'll battle a bot if
there's one lurking. you... you are human aren't you


offline mermaidman on 2019-08-11 22:10 [#02583480]
Points: 7786 Status: Lurker | Followup to belb: #02583479

i wasn't programmed to lie so i'll choose not to answer your


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-08-19 22:59 [#02583707]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

i bring a suicide vest to a knife fight
i'm the best, like, for a very low price
some noodles, a coupla slices of bread
and enough hot sauce to blow off yr fuckin head
i've got every shiny in the 94 stickerbook
somebody please beam me up
before i make yr face look non-euclidean
i've killed before, best know that i'll kill again


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-09-02 23:42 [#02584667]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

up down left right a plus start
pull level select on a bumbaclaat
it's not hyperbolic to say i'm hypersonic
vigorous voltron, virginia tech-tonic
vigilant, vanguard, vengeance, victorious
i'm built to slap a man hard, endin all 4 of yers
clyde base eraser, blindsight and turn to vapour
stateless hater with rods from god and a fusion laser


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-09-17 23:38 [#02585467]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

pink prescription cos i'm playin the lottery
this is fixed odds terminal velocity
woke up drunk and realised it was time for more
forgot my lines and how to count to number four
duckin the land baron, lookin back for the man on
what the fuck like marc maron, drink 9 pints to the gallon
extra! extra! this heaven's gate
drugs make me salivate, keep me on a narrow straight
i'm fixed to fail, drained of blood n left pale
i see visions sippin gin from the holy grail
pills mixed in, i hold a tiger by the tail
on the hunt for the white whale
i'm getting fatter than tony soprano
standin next to you pissing so you can't go
smokin my lungs gone, here's the countdown conundrum
do one... oh wait, you've already done one


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-09-30 22:51 [#02586491]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

vampiric, yr heart's not in it
biters gonna bite, i've reached my limit
parasitic, go pop a paracetamol
yr best lines? proceed to delete em all
look, i'm colder than dead pensioners
list of the best? best know it'll mention us
and fuck all yr bigoted bombast
yr distance running yr mouth and coming in dead last


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-10-01 20:40 [#02586524]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

no discipline, i'll put you in the council litterbin
yr walkin past the graveyard whistlin
knight takes rook, i remain unshook
unsmilingly, unfailingly fucked up
bleedin merlot and speakin with a dirt flow
i gargle pernod n sleep in raw earth yo
i'm an x file crossed with a tellytubby
gaffer tape my hand to the bong, try to take it from me
move with the times - i'm the galaxy's guardian
always been a hardy one, spark it up and pass it on
vagabond with the the guttural muttley type laughter
i'm a choice cutter, cut you if i havta
i come through causing hullabaloo
mr voodoo, blues blew my screws loose
belly out for the centrefold, it's how i roll my king skins
you can smoke my greasy pole for dindins


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-10-19 20:35 [#02587893]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

i'm growing a secondary skin
from bits of the pizza i left in the bin
battlin with loose lips, think you'll lose a limb
you won't win, i'm the yang to the yin
i meditate on aum shinrikyo
truly madly deep though
psychosis owes this protohuman
when yr pickin shrooms take the blue one
i pillage yr lyrical village
strong like popeye on spinach
quickly diminish yr brightness fam
can't be rolling with the tightness fam
it's the ex-boh crew, we're rolling through
stick like glue, sicker than a witch's brew
hemlock hotpot, lizard gizzard n a mushroom stew
tried and true, stems and caps both turnin blue


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-10-19 20:49 [#02587894]
Points: 30580 Status: Regular | Followup to belb: #02587893

first couple of lines really made me laugh


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-10-21 21:04 [#02587988]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

a tender poem for the rt hon robert buckland qc mp and his
immediate family:

censor this, cunts
we'll drill the reality savagely into yr skulls
capture yr kids from their catchment area
we're taking notes of bare of ya
if you got qc on yr name
motherfuckers be fair game
right honourable? getting done horribly
encrypt my shit so you can't get onto me
millicent and george, we're watching
get hung out to dry like washing
you'll walk on all fours, suck on the four five
musical cries, but we'll leave you alive
it's daddykins we're after
blind him with bleach, all he can hear is laughter
dipped in the dick so he can't make more of you
hear this: drill's at war with you


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-10-21 21:05 [#02587989]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

i am, of couse, joking



offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-10-22 22:52 [#02588013]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

drinkin more than i oughtta
cos i'm the sunday sport's newest reporter
lots of lyin down lookin for upskirts
as a feminist i can't tell you how much it hurts
sniffin fat markers for the chemical aroma
photocopy my man tits til i run outta toner
2020 anno domini like mad dog
i'm gonna try to clear me brain of this damn fog
there's a method to the unreality
meth OD, me and the reaper are pally, see
all this aggression, bounce round the echo chamber
i forgot me health stressin for paper
it's caligula crossed with the marquis de sade
can't keep up, pardon, je suis retard
can't tell if i'm man, bear or shark
but that's 7 angels blowin trump, motherfuckin hark


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-11-01 04:34 [#02588420]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

this is how i roll
pimp limp and brain damage from a broken biro, i'm fine tho
can't get outta bed without me bottle of vodka
ain't that a kick in the head, didier drogba
at war mate, i snort potassium chlorate
wait, is it chloride? rawer than rawhide
i stay blunted like a pencil
blud i'll up and cut you like an acetate stencil
all sentimental with no trace of senti
plus 5 and a half inches isn't that lengthy
still i'm acting all billy big bollocks
and shit man, i'm even running outta commas
don't think i can stop to take a breath, see
float through life like walkin on the dead sea
in the end, this is for nobody and 8 guests
who needs friends when you can make explosive vests


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-11-03 20:52 [#02588511]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

step on like my name was shaun ryder
step off or get mauled by the tiger
snort billy, get wilder
i'm about to go out and rob a bitcoin miner
removin headtops calmly
yr bitch'll kiss my dick like the blarney
i'm on the purple like barney
level 9000 tolerance, no chemical can harm me
if it's a chemical i'll neck it
ain't a beat made yet i can't jump on and wreck it
get my geek on, unique one
makin beats like a speedrun, gimme what he's on
calm demeanour, stayin leaner
your autobiographical? laughable, eat my wiener
i'm impatient for a cigarette
16 lines, can't you see the winner yet?


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-11-08 00:15 [#02588749]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

ya best desist in spittin
i'll suffocate yr face with an oven mitten
at night i pray for my own lobotomy
gotta be some way to break the monotony
got a big belly from the antipsychotics
hotter than the tropics, i'll pop you in the optics
come here n lick my nipple mate, i don't discriminate
put you on my dinnerplate but i don't bite, i innovate
a caged animal turned cannibalistic
get yr wig split, i couldn't give a tin shit
my rhymes are tighter than a tight fit
heavyweight champion champin at the bit
i'll bun you like jet fuel
go for a go around or for a set to
don't know yr home address but trust, i can get to
i'm movin in, make legroom
and if yr wonderin why i write outright lies
character-belb'll say anything to get a rise


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-11-29 21:52 [#02590331]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

sixteens? bring fire, ya need to aim higher
every day i'm alive is makin you a liar
i preach to the choir and to the infidel
please, i'm sicker than a sickle cell
unwell noggin, got my installer keyloggin
man in the middle, don't think i can keep it civil
get ready for a brutal floggin
you ain't got a hole i won't stick my nob in
yr a nothing, less than nowt
you'll get filled in like a tiler's grout
time to eat shit, open ya jaw
if it's battle you're a no score draw
this line's a placeholder
but i'll open yr face like clicking a folder
see me get wild, permanent smile for a joker
get yr arse ready for the poker


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-11-29 23:08 [#02590354]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

italy sit


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-11-29 23:11 [#02590355]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Followup to belb: #02590331 | Show recordbag

ti suicidi con le rosse per finta?


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-11-29 23:12 [#02590357]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-11-30 04:03 [#02590415]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

mo stop swallowin my dick loads
it's making me sad to diss my fellow schizos
where's yr army? yr deader than mugabe
i couldn't give a fuck what's sent you barmy
is it really how you want to play this?
with yr dick in yr hand waitin for the next diss?
what's a proto-human to do?
i can grind yr down until i've made glue
just me n you, 3:52 here mo
hoping you begin to see clear soon, so
have you gone back to bed?
have you read a single word i said?
have you tried counting to ten?
maybe light a pipe before ya pick up the pen
goodnight then, who needs to fight?
if you can't think straight let alone rhyme tight?


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-12-05 19:00 [#02590894]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

most rappers can't really cut the mustard
i eat yr lasses' noonoo and shoot my tubby custard
top drawer, smokin top draw forevermore
poke me with ya pork sword til yr sore in the balls
i climb the walls like a russian vine, yr outta time
saw ya blind eyed, pissed in yr pint pot
and mixed it with lemon n lime
can you dig me like the muck moved?
partly a love letter n partly a fuck you
rhino tolerance, wino lookin ominous
yellow in the eyes, green gills anonymous
fat n lean, supreme, mr clean i'm soapin ya
smokin the whole pharmacopoeia
grand poobah, tubby like a tuba
i'm a bubble in yr vein like bends to a scuba
in the cauldron there's a war on
conclusion foregone, cyclops mixed with sauron
make sure you bring knowledge like the sorbonne
you try to pull the rug, i leave the whole floor gone


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2019-12-05 19:01 [#02590895]
Points: 31127 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-12-16 22:59 [#02591674]
Points: 6161 Status: Regular

here's the daydream scheme of a codeine fiend
goodbye galaxy, i pogo off the screen
dosboxin and i'm lean as a bean
broken spoke in the machine
lick my boot, i'm superuser and root
bun you like a two skin zoot
i'm an L-backroller, bong through flat cola
fast bowler, colder than polar
props to mitnick and cult of the dead cow
properly sick, i'm puttin you to bed now
you open quotes but close em with no speech in
i got doper flows, yr shit needs deletin
now listen up, this is the ascension
i'll break yr face like i was breaking the tension
violence used as an end in itself
my rhymes are sicker than my mental health


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