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a spider in my room
 

offline mohamed on 2016-12-30 18:08 [#02509741]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



hello, i just discovered theres a spider in the corner of
the ceiling, its medium-small big, with transparent legs.
its not annoying but i dont want him to grow too many webs,
there are some already. freqy, what to do?


 

offline freqy on 2016-12-30 18:23 [#02509742]
Points: 14476 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



hi

I would get a glass pint size or wide jam jar.....and a
piece of paper

put a chair underneath, stand on chair, place glass over
him and slide paper between glass and ceiling to capture
him....then you can take him outside. : )

unless you want to keep him as a pet?


 

offline mohamed on 2016-12-30 18:30 [#02509743]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



that some rescue mission i have to do there. its too high
for just a chair, will use a stair. ill leave him there for
now, maybe next year. thanks for the advice freqy merry new
year


 

offline mohamed on 2016-12-30 18:37 [#02509744]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



(i still kill stink bugs, those mothercukers)


 

offline mohamed on 2016-12-30 18:39 [#02509745]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



couldn't correct a motherfucking f


 

offline freqy on 2016-12-30 22:13 [#02509746]
Points: 14476 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



thats o.k dont shed a tear
even if spidey climbs in your ear
if he climbs out the other side do not fear
as long as he doesn’t eat your brain ..you can still
cheer

oh spidey dear, oh spidey dear, look after mohams
and eat dont make to many cob webs this year.

: )



 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2016-12-30 23:44 [#02509758]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



the other night a moth was inside as i was kickin'
it outside (violin solo). i almost just mashed it. oh... you
poor bastard. should i get a jar? no, no, i've done that. it
will not end well...

jarring moths is a pain in the ass. they don't appreciate
being liberated at all. if you fail to capture them by
surprise on the first jardown, the subsequent chase will
almost certainly get your pulse up. once you've got it, you
take it outside, and... shake. shakeshake. shakakaa. C'MON.
maybe if i blow on ipppPPFFF shit. the littl' jerk
refuses to detach from the mayonaise jar i've lovingly
selected to carry him to freedom! fine. be that way. leave
jar out on porch. six hours later, moth is still in jar. no,
no sir.

so, perhaps it should be a squish. can't save 'em all. only
fat kids chin-up at the end of bbq bag... but, heck, i don't
want to make freqy sad. i stared at it for another half
second before, as usual, the goopy oils that power my
thoughtproccers filtered down through the sedement and
collected in a giant tank labelled "engineering metaphors."
oh! i know

i opened the turkish door ever so gently, and began to line
up my shot. i think i even squinted dramatically, even
though no one was about except me 'n moth (violin solo).
but, heck, i use this door more often than i shit. i know
its harmonic friction coefficients and this absolutely must
be copacetic. there's no excuse for it not to be. heck, why
am i even worrying? i got this

WHAM

the moth flips a shit. flies off of the inside of sliding
door and starts dodging the jar i don't have. gets fucking
confused. disoriented. in times of confusion, moths seek the
light. it was daytime. the moth flew out the door. i deftly
slid in and closed it shut before the littl' jerk knew what
was upside solo


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2016-12-30 23:45 [#02509759]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



the metaphor was: percussive maintenence


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2016-12-30 23:49 [#02509760]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



untangent: neal stephenson had a lovely passage in
cryptonomicon about how absolutely impossible spiders are to
fool. try to poke their web and get their attention.... and,
yes, the spider will flatly ignore you right up until you
lose patience and move to poking the spider instead of its
web. spook a spider? you'd have more luck trying to bum
cigarettes off of kanye west


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-03 21:00 [#02509981]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



i just throw a stink bug out of my room. yes we're in
january and they're still here. anyway, i did one of my
rescue operations with the broom, if you put the brushes
near the stink bug when it flies near the light it sticks
inside them, i dont know why but they are attracted by it,
it always worked since i was a kid. then you can calmly
throw it outiside. i shared this story cos before i
activated with the broom i had a quick look at the spider
hoping he would take care of it.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-05 21:39 [#02510066]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



lol, the spider is gone. must have been the strong wind this
morning while i left the window opened


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-05 21:43 [#02510067]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



now i can take those fucking webs off


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-05 21:46 [#02510068]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



strange that the wind carried him somewhere and the webs are
still there, are they that resistant? maybe he saw the sun
and fled from the room by his own


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-05 21:47 [#02510069]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



good luck, spider!


 

offline freqy on 2017-01-06 00:21 [#02510077]
Points: 14476 Status: Regular | Show recordbag




Happy sailing Spidey, good luck on your flight in the wind
this new year.



 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-06 00:23 [#02510078]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



put a sultana or raisin with eyelashes for legs into its web
and it will think it has a territorial rival, and should
soon up sticks and move on


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-08 12:20 [#02510161]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



hes still here, on the opposite corner of the room


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-08 22:52 [#02510167]
Points: 20630 Status: Regular



Cranberry cracker crack, specificially designed for crackers
to eat with cracker crumbs. There's 3 flavors. Marmaset
Marshmellow, Cranberry Crack Crush Crunch and Titberry
Marmalade Meaty Treat.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-08 23:55 [#02510170]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



id rather have a bowl of coco pops


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-08 23:55 [#02510171]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02510161



jump in its web with it and bounce around


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-09 17:27 [#02510178]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



he disappeared again.. lurking into one of the room deepest
corners.. always on the move..


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 00:53 [#02510222]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



^ when your asleep he is getting into your underwear draw
and crawling around the gusset of your y fronts for fun,


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:04 [#02510227]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



guesset y fronts. isn't that a wagon christ track


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:06 [#02510228]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



i know a track called porno shirtwee


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:09 [#02510229]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



that track gets repetitive fast


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:10 [#02510230]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



guesset y fronts is a sample of feelings of a new level of
low-down-ness that has been achieved.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:11 [#02510231]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



yeah when you said repetitive i wondered if it was the one
with the annoying woodwind thing and it is


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:13 [#02510232]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02510230



well if your talking about ones with intractable skid marks
in then yes


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:14 [#02510233]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



it does the yo-yo motion pleasantly; it does. but then one
becomes so yo-yo'd out: yo, no more yo-yo! turn that yo
down

into low down


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:15 [#02510234]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



skid marks are determined to have been sampled from four
spinning discs somewhere north of cornwall


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:18 [#02510235]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



some gentlemen are very selective with their fronts and
disco spinners. others need da whistle 'cos da whistle go
woo. yo


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-10 01:20 [#02510236]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



you know, i can't think of a single luke vibert track about
spiders. perhaps that's the secret to the man's popularity


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:23 [#02510237]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



a fate worse than death?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-10 01:23 [#02510238]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-17 19:25 [#02510511]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



we met in the bathroom this morning, he was standing on a
corner, then i went to take a shit after coming back from
work and i find him trapped in the bath tub, trying to climb
it but falling down cos its to slippery for his long legs,
so i did one of my rescue mission with a piece of toilet
paper i take him out then he falls down from the toilet
paper to the ground, didnt want to come back on it, i wanted
to put it inside the junk room but i did leave it to his
destiny.

i the meantime i killed a stink bug, saved some


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-17 20:00 [#02510521]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02510511



i started reading that post thinking you were speaking about
luke vibert and i got to "to [sic] slippery for his long
legs" before i realized i'd made some sort of grave mistake
in constructing the sphere of context through which to view
mohamzle's po'tizzle. at least he stilled a think bug


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-17 20:02 [#02510522]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



but, really, who hasn't come home from work to find luke
vibert trapped in their bathtub once or twice. with his long
legs


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-17 21:04 [#02510528]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



haha


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-17 23:54 [#02510584]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02510522



he looks more like the sort that would break into your
garden shed and use it as a hovel


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-01-18 00:00 [#02510588]
Points: 8279 Status: Addict



i'm sure he would, if he could get out of the bathtub


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-22 20:02 [#02510940]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



he moved from the bathroom back to my room, i saw him
standing in a corner yesterday, today in the opposite side
of the room, low, neat the heater. anyone with a name for
him?

heres a pic: unnamed spider


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-22 20:04 [#02510942]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



maybe jeremy or ezequiel?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-22 20:09 [#02510945]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



Rupert Miles bonepad the 3rd


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-22 20:34 [#02510960]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



Archibald St. John Smythe


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-22 20:35 [#02510961]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



Leonardo de ragno Ravenelli


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-23 19:48 [#02511031]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



hhaha


 

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2017-01-23 20:06 [#02511034]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker



call him spidey mcspideypants

or dobbin


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-01-23 20:07 [#02511037]
Points: 11426 Status: Regular



yes dobbin is good

Sir Dobbin Josephat, Hieronymus Blanchard of the resplendent
knock knees


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-23 20:19 [#02511044]
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lets go for dobbin archibald mctits


 

offline mohamed on 2017-01-23 20:22 [#02511045]
Points: 20099 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



Sir dobbin archibald mctits josephat

lulz


 


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