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 Now online (3)DADONCK belb dariusgriffin ...and 283 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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is it an actual fact though that he got her addicted? |
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not positively confirmed, no, but he's said things that could lead to that conclusion like her "now being as addicted as he is" and that she has no friends outside of him (meaning the only possible influence is him). |
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Can you see her getting a job in the current position? No. Can you see anything about the current situation changing (for the better) if illfates continues to work to support her? No; the only likely outcome is she will get more heavily into her addiction and illfates will collapse in a heap of exhaustion from working 60 hour weeks whilst on smack (which must be absolutely crippling). It's more for him than her that I'd want him to ditch her. If she ends up turning tricks to pay for her habit, or with someone a lot less supportive than her, that's certainly a tragedy, but I don't think illfates should feel responsible for it. If, however, as Drunken Mastah has suggested, we don't have the full story and perhaps part of the reason he cannot bring himself to do this is that he got her addicted in the first place, this is a very different situation. I think as a couple of people have said, whatever route he chooses/whatever the circumstances of her getting addicted, it'd certainly help if illfates got clean first. At the very least, even if he continued to support her and her smack habit, the cash saved from his not having a habit could pay for somewhere for them to live. As he claims he can/has done this in the past, whilst it won't be easy, it'll be possible. Once he's clean he could focus more time/energy on getting her off the stuff. |
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im drunk!@ whwowhwho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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stopped reading at the word heroin. |
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<3 |
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[commercial break] |
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ibogain? wouldn't work. you both love getting high. |
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I don't mean that as an insult, by the way. Stopping something you enjoy is just hard to do, and I wouldn't be able to. |
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oh, you know that isn't true, baby. you probably stop doing things you enjoy doing every day! |
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oh my god. |
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Hmm. No. Its not the tobacco companies fault for making me addicted to smoking. The pressure is definately part of the cause, but not the reason. And if he decides to quit and she is nonsupportive, their shouldn't be any reason for him not to leave, except for love. He should be there to support her in treatment. He should not be there to support her addiction. |
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at least your name is appropriate |
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did you try ibogaine? that might help kicking the horse.. and change your morals a bit. sorry if this is a repost havent read 70% of the thread. |
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of course the tobacco companies are to blame; they market the shit pretty heavily as far as I'm concerned.. and that's from a norwegian view where you can't advertise alcohol or tobacco and all cigarette packs have huge labels saying "this shit will kill you!" As I said, the blame isn't 50-50, it's 100-100 and they should both take some fucking responsibility. that goes for tobacco companies as well. The pressure is definately part of the cause, but not the reason. of course it isn't the reason as that would be mixing categories. The reason is something personal, but a certain reasoning can be caused by a cause and in this case, if all that "she has no friends" thing and stuff like that is true, the cause can be said to be like 80-90% illfates. Thus, he is responsible for her addiction and he should be able to see this for himself. |
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thank you guys. sometimes living with her and now staying with a junky, interacting almost solely with her and occasionally him can numb my brain to everyone else's reality, which, combined and averaged, is about 99.99999967% more realistic than our three point system. i'm afraid of the potential arguments. since she has started doing opiates with me we've become very defensive and passively aggressive towards eachother. reading this, however, makes me more afraid of the potential future if I don't stop doing it, which ultimately is what I need, fear. if it works in christianity to turn its minions to jesus from the lake of fire, maybe I can fear life as hell in bondage to heroin enough to turn to sobriety. I think that fear and a little discipline and endurance for a week should probably do the trick. Words about stopping are so easy to type! Her words about stopping are so easy for her to say. Wish I felt like typing anything or saying anything without it. I tried to use a needle today and couldn't do it. this is a good thing. i'm about 4 months deep, nearly every day i've used, but I was shooting coke and heroin together until a week and a half ago. She was always more strong-willed about ending a binge than I was, until we almost started one and I for once, as has only happened this once thast I know of, suggested we stop before it starts, so to speak. She nearly threw a tantrum.. more than a tantrum, deeper and more terrifying for me and likely her. She actually shrank away from me when I tried to physically comfort her. This was absolutely inverse of what our relationship was like six months ago. I kind of snapped in a hazy mild way that night. I've been reducing my use since then, and haven't done anything but successully taper since then. Your responses were all equally useful, spare one or two. thanks again |
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oh.. what about the implications of drug(any, all, escapism, or better, "Dope" = dopamine) addiction vs heroin (endorphins + secondarily released chemicals, including dopamine) addiction, the latter being a phase in both my, and her drug addictions. strangely enough I've now habitually used most drugs that come to mind except speed and ketamine, most recently smack, she's never had a habit worse than cracking her knuckles until she met me. i love her, but as someone (thank you) mentioned its not love to support her in addiction rather support her in recovery. i'm afraid she'll do something terrible to herself or I'll lose her or our relationship will suffer farther. got to face the fear? i have to find something other than heroin and music to do with most of my time that isn't working, and have to learn to work sober. all of this is hard to do when you're homeless again. thank you for reading this stuff. |
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Its the same here in canada. They aren't even allowed to have their company name on events, no smoking indoors, etc etc. But Its like saying that grand theft auto is causing people to jack cars. I am fully responsible for my actions, with or without the influence of the tobacco companies... its not their responsibility to help me quit. Thats my responsibility for deciding to start in the first place. Although with things like smak, crack and jib, if anybody should be held responsible for peoples addictions, its the dealers. Fucking dealers are the scum of the earth. They should really be using the lives of the people ruined by these dealers when they are determining a punishment, because three years for possesion with intent to traffic - if it doesn't end up being thrown out before the person sees a day in prison - is not enough. |
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I haven't denied that you are fully responsible for your actions. I have just added that the people who knowingly put pressure on you to act in certain ways ALSO are responsible! |
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imo you'll have to deal with her anger and rage, and get her off smack NOW. its more or less your responsibility. |
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Yes. But I know it can be difficult getting off of drugs on your own, moreso when you are trying to carry another persons treatment. It really is difficult enough as it is, even when the assistance is done by a professional. I know it sounds somewhat inconsiderate for me to say, but when dealing with things like heroin, it should be done with support, but not while you are supporting. If he claims responsibility for his addiction as well as hers, he will never get off the drugs. One of the tenancies for anyone on hard drugs is to create the same habits in those close to them. Another tenancy is for them to damage those around them. Thats just the nature of the drugs. By both of them staying together on drugs, they are going to accelerate eachothers behavior, hurting themselves and everyone they care about a lot more than if he took responsibility for himself and her take responsibility for herself, and quit when they are ready. If they need to do that apart, it would be for the best of everyone involved. So in a nutshell, what I am trying to say is, putting the ownace on him to get her to quit, is only increasing the moral responsibility for him, effectively making it much harder for him to quit on his own, let alone become any use to her as a support mechanism for her to become healthy again. That said, if she doesn't want to quit, she won't. I never hear of drug addicts becoming reformed through being forced. They usually just find sneakier ways to go about their drugs. That sets a precidence for further anti-social behavior. etc etc etc. |
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he will if his willpower is strong enough, and as far as I can tell there's no reason why he shouldn't be the one to get her to stop. he can do it if he really wants to and the only right thing for him to do in this case is to get both himself and her off the drugs rifht fuking away! it's not really as much "get myself off the drugs" though that is the easiest way of doing it (imo that's what he should do, but that's besides the point), it's "I need both me and her off the drugs or else the drugs will claim another life." |
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But its not that simple. There is a reason why these drugs destroy lives. People like to chalk it up to some positive thinking and inner strength. But these kind of problems can't be solved just by hoping that they will resolve themselves and crossing their fingers. It takes a serious effort, and anybody who pretends they just kicked it is lying to themself. |
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kids, don't do drugs. |
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pics? |
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yeah, how is a strong willpower not compatible with that it will be hard? It will probably be hard, but that's no fucking excuse for anything if it's something that has to be done and something he clearly sees for himself he has to do! "hey, wait, this whole life thing is too hard, I'll just quit and lay down over here." |
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