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 Now online (1)dariusgriffin ...and 585 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!" The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK, DUDE....... how much water did you drink? |
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I dont read posts larger than 20 words |
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NOOOoooo?! you're kidding? THIS REALLY HAPPENED?!?!?!? |
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this is not a true story |
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Yeap me too. I'm too lazy. |
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hahaa! :D!!! I too love the fact that it is called a true story! :> Good to have chuckles on the board |
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come on people... how hard is it to read some text? o_O (unless you're totally wasted like the lizard...) nice story. |
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This is a true story: ARKANSAS CITY (AP) — A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus. "She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everett Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say. "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air. Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said , "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else. When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen." |
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now that's a weird story indeed. °_° |
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haha. good! |
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the first story was a chuckle (but I dont get why the croc didnt eat the lizard when it fell), and the subsequent jesus story makes this thread a real contender for fav+. |
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oh, ... |
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i'm pretty sure that monkeys and lizards cant talk. i am not in a position to comment on the ability of aligators to talk. |
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