 |
|
You are not logged in! F.A.Q Log in Register |
 |
|
 |
 Now online (2)big dariusgriffin ...and 185 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
 |
Members 8025Messages 2614082 Today 2 Topics 127542 |
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i used to come here and post a lot of music. something happened to my brain or to my path in life and over the last two years went from being a happy self-satisfied and prolific producer to a homeless fake dopamine addict. Music and cocaine(and crack, and base) do not mix. Not to say that cocaine mixes well with ANYTHING, but it mixes exceptionally poorly with the production of music and other creative ambitions. It destroyed my self-confidence and ability to identify and value my own creative output. In fact, almost all music now seems empty and cold. I owe everyone in the world money, and feel an intense amount of social isolation and shame. I left my house right before rent was due (not that I had it anyhow) and have not been able to motivate myself even psychologically to return. Music was the most rewarding thing I ever cared about, wanted, or felt exceptional at, and the tricks and delusions of drug abuse disemboweled my emotional self and it's connection to the enjoyment of sound and frequency. I have alienated myself from my dreams, my family, friends, and find myself here, staring in horror at what I've done, cringing, terrified that I am already too weak to climb out of this hell. It made me believe ridiculous lies, act in ways that were completely unlike who I thought I was, and I didn't even know it until I was nothing but a bona fide addict with anxiety, paranoia, and psychological problems. It isn't worth it, and any mammal on this planet can learn the hard way. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
so are you off of it? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
where are you now? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
meaning like with your life. What are you thinking of doing? Are you trying to quit or get help? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I'm very sorry to hear that... testimonials such as these are why i don't touch hard drugs. If it makes it feel any better, you have the coolest avatar I've seen in a while. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
this is my third stretch out of it since I got hooked. The last attempt I made it 4 days. I'm almost that far. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Have you tried getting help or have you been trying to do it alone? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
its very hard to quit alone... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
good luck. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
stop with the fractals |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
You write well. Keep writing, do whatever it takes to stay off the shit, and find your way back to music. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i have one friend with whom I still feel connected and close to, and he's in the same bind. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
fractals are underrated |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
that's really terrible, sir. i feel for you, even though i've never been through the horror that you've been through. hold onto that friend of yours for dear life, and try to help him as well. you maybe can both get out of it with the help of each other. just don't underestimate your strength and character. it will return in full and then some if you can pull through this. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
don't worry, i bet you looked cool the whole way through |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
haven't you ever watched bambi? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
over and over and over and over and over |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
don't worry, i bet you looked cool the whole way through Another best quote ever. But really, you were able to write this down really coherantly. It's probably worse when you've got a good brain in your head. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
mimi: the dude is trying to quit, and he's looking for a little support. Don't be a bitch. Compassion is a good quality. Best of luck to you man. I know it has to be damn hard... but you can do it. Go to your family and friends for help. You've recongnized you have a problem. You want to quit, you're on the right path. Good luck man, you can do it! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
A million magic crystals painted pure and white A multi - million dollars almost overnight Twice as sweet a sugar twice as pure as salt and if you get hooked baby It's nobody elses fault so don't do it |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
my buddy brad would attribute his great art (which was incredible) to his use of drugs, he felt it went together like pb + J |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
good luck to you man. Think about going to NA meetings. My cousin was a full blown smack/crackhead for 15 years and now he is clean and the NA meetings help him a lot. You'll get through it. There's always a way out. Drug abuse is a hurdle that can be beaten. I met my cousins friend who is 24. He was a herion addict for 3 years. But now he has turned his life around and he goes to the gym and looks fantastic and is positive. No matter how fucked up things are, there is always a light. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Would you like some crackers with that wine?? oh gad bad joke!! im kidding. I wanted to join mimi's bitchmobile. GOOD luck, Follow the python "always look at the bright side of life" |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Well I only listen to it, does that mean it's okay for me to do coke? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Yeah, i know some people who used to do it a lot, but now they are just all right. Good luck, dude :) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
what a nice first post :) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
do you at least have an apartment or somewhere to live? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
mimi should park her bitchmobile somewhere else. most importantly, you should know that people *are* able to come back from where you've gone. if you remember how great life was before, let that be your motivation to work towards getting your life back. good luck to you. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i think people might start taking drugs because they thought life SUCKED before... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
You think quiting a recreational drug is hard? Try to quit smoking! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I have quit smoking. My advice. Isolate yourself for weeks... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
although I don't smoke cigs or do crack, I have a feeling quitting crack is just as hard, and besides, saying things like that doesn't help anyway. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Actually no, the physical addiction to crack passes quicker than to cigarettes. OK it is a lot more painful but once you are over the physical withdrawal a lot of addicts manage to not go back on by making simple lifestyle changes, where as the mental intergration of smoking into your daily life, usually over a number of years, coupled with the physical addiction is a lot harder to overcome. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
yeah I could see that, and also I forgot to consider the fact that soo many people smoke, especially if you are a smoker you will know people who do as well, so the temptation will always be right in your face. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
yup...so if your future kids start to smoke give them crack instead...it is for their own good when they decide to quit :P |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
hahaha :D |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
tsk, sometimes i think my soulmate must be monoid. :\ by the way guys, this is a music forum, so i don't really think i should get called a bitch and told to post elsewhere because i decided to make fun rather than sympathize with this guy; yeah, yeah, community, but what i said wasn't out of line, it wasn't a stab-in-the-face-you-get-what-you-deserve comment. it was a joke -- get this girl some midol! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
the dude is in a bad place right now. He doesnt need people jabbing at him, even if it was meant as a joke. And dont give me that "its a music forum" deal. Everyone here knows that there is complete freedom in topic subject. This instance isnt like the first time, which deserves a snide "music only" comment. 1463 posts, so Im sure you're fully aware of topic subject matter here. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
no one called you a bitch, mimi. my comment was referencing an earlier comment by afxnumb. i didn't tell you to post elsewhere, it was about "parking your bitchmobile elsewhere." you know, a joke. for someone who seems to prefer joking about someone else's personal problems you have a very thin skin. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i feel lucky that in all my years of of experimentation with dozens of mind altering chemicals, i have never even come close to anything resembling physical addicition or dependance. so the advice i can give is probably naive. but, regardless, do what you love to do and if addiction is causing you pain, rather than return to coke, channel that energy into your art. keep yourself occupied with creating, in any form, because creation is always healthier than self-destruction. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
with respect.. quitting alone is very, very hard unless you have a will of steel.. but if youve got yourself into this situation in the first place, its possible that you dont (for the time being, anyway).. try gettin professional help, get along to meetings etc. and secondly, i would advise against having a quitting partner. you have to rely on + motivate yourself. if theres 2 of you trying to get clean, + one falters.. the other will follow soon after. i don't say this in a condescending way. a close friend of mine has been a recovering addict for the past 2years.. there was nothing he didnt do. and every time he+his mates halfheartedly tried to sort themselves out, they failed. it wasnt until he cut himself off from parasitic friends, did a spell in rehab, started meetings + counselling that he got his life back together. he's doing really well now + things are getting better all the time. he'll always be an addict, but he'd learnt to live with it. im sure you can get to the same place too. good luck. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I want to grow poppies |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
then i must have misinterpreted "park her bitchmobile elsewhere" as "post elsewhere." i think my last post was pretty easygoing considering. also, i must have interpreted "don't be a bitch" wrongly. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i love your avatar |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
Messageboard index
|
|||||||||
