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 (nobody)...and 245 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2615856 Today 9 Topics 127670 |
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i'll just copy and paste from my live journal: 4:38 am i'm spending the night at andrews and well it fucking sucks. i want to just walk home and not tell anyone but i think stina is sleeping on my coat. ok so bree's friends meg, alex, kristine and paul are here. i really like alex because well we have a lot in common. but she really likes andrew. and they're chilling on a couch together in the basement. we got drunk and talked about it and somewhere she said "if andrew rejects me i'll go with you" or something like that. but i can't even deal with that. cause what are my options? even if andrew doesn't like her which he probably does cause she's awesome and gorgeous, how can i even go along with it knowing i'm a back up plan? and i feel it's really bogus cause we were at my house and everyone was drinking my dad's alcohol and i made her a cd of mega man music and she's just like "well alright, i'll see if i can fit you in later" and i also feel really bad because me and meg talk alot online and i mean i like her but i dunno if i feel like we have that much in common, which sucks. i really want to go home and not tell anyone so i don't have to deal with any of it. there isn't even a free spot to sit down in the basement so i've been playing pool. i spent some time at the organ writing something thats about it. this is all just such bullshit. 5:09 am just got home, andrew gave me a ride. i woke stina up trying to get my coat up from under her and i guess she needed a ride home. i was geting my coat so i could walk, i wasn't going to tell anyone i left, i was just going to leave a note that said "I went home. -nigel" he felt bad about the alex thing cause she was all up on him on the couch and i told him it wasn't his fault and he shouldn't feel bad cause it's not his fault, it's hers. so i dunno. fuck it. i can't really say i don't care because i really do. i really like alex but i dunno, i'm not going to be plan B. it really pissed me off though, like when she aske |
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i really like alex but i dunno, i'm not going to be plan B. it really pissed me off though, like when she asked me to help her make out with andrew. i was like "i'm not going to help you make out with andrew, i want you to make out with me." and then she said something like "i'll make out with you after i make out with andrew" you know what. fuck it. it's just another fucking let down. i should be used to it by now. and meg i'm sorry about how the night went. i feel bad about it. really bad. i can't really explain why anything happened the way it did tonight so i'm not going to try. it's 5 am but i dunno if i'm going to be able to go to sleep this angry. i really feel like shit she's this girl who loves megaman and is basically perfect for me but she likes my friend just a little bit more |
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my night sucked. and so my day is going to. |
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I know this doesn't help but with that attitude she doesn't sound like she's worth it. |
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yeah i dunno god dammit |
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it just sucks because there aren't alot of girls that i meet that i really feel would be good for me. |
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Man i wouldn't let yourself be "plan b"... recipe for dignity evaporation, trust me. I was plan b for TWO FUCKING YEARS. |
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haha, slap that bitch. damn! |
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i just noticed she left her hat at my house fuck |
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burn it |
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Burn it!!! |
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Damn it you beat me! |
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but hey at least you guys know how come i'm always depressed |
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no I think I missed out on that (unless it isn't more than the stuff discussed here) sad 13000th post :( |
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none of these points matter anyways i'm just really pissed off because the last time i felt like i found a girl was this right for me was about a year ago (anyone remember my "i gave a girl a mix tape today" thread?) |
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*girls = anger. ...........SAINT Anger* oh snap! DEAR GOD please send the S.O.S. We're gunna go down! |
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get out of this environment for a while... try to go somewhere else, change your mind, i don't know, even walk alone in the cold with nowhere exactly to go sometimes it make me feel good... |
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yeah with lots of fog and ae in your ears |
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this Alex sounds like a bit of a tart, but that's just me. i'd rather go for someone who wouldn't give a mate sloppy seconds at the drop of a hat |
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sucks man. like the other d00ds said, i guess you probably shouldn't let yourself get stuck as somebody's crutch. probly won't turn out good for anyone. i'd let you punch me in the arm if it'd make you feel better. |
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If she wants to be passed around like that then go for it I say. |
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slag |
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TonyFish > (i read "frogs in your ears"... i'm tired or something *_*) Ae or something else, personally i would rather like something more melancholic maybe, detached, beautiful, frail... or i don't know, whatever suits my mind but Ae is pretty unlikely to suit my mind in these moments =) |
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meaning that the girl who gets passed around is a whoremonger! I should have been more clear with that post! |
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oh I find the early ae ambienty track very suitable for cold winter mornings with so much fog you can only see about a metre (hmm one of the only things I miss about Norwich). Telefon Tel Aviv works too though. But yeah definately something melancholic.. |
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haha aye ! I was just gonna give you an earfull then too =oD |
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i feel sick from drinking and i just spent a couple hours throwing away about 85% of my child hood possesions from my moms house. one of the worst weekends i've ever had, emotionally |
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why chuck stuff? |
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sorry dude... that sounds quite terrible... |
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me and my dad have to clear out my moms house by february 4th and we just don't have room for all of it |
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pff Sorry to hear it :( |
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worst weekend ever |
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I did something similar today... since my gf moved in our room's been a fucking mess, so i've had to excise most of my childhood crap from the house... i found this old tape of me as a baby with my dad reading stories to me n shit before he left for another woman... it descended into a big argument with my mum on the tape before he remember to turn off the tape recorder. Then it was all these practise jazz scales of him playing the sax to a backing track... it was really odd throwing out all the old pieces of my childhood and listening to myself at 16months at the same time. Not a good feeling really. |
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go find that girl and fuck her brains out ! |
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they're all going back to school today anyways i'm in too shitty of a mood for any of that |
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self pity what-am-i-worth am i going to alone forever? god, this sounds like highschool |
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yea yea! Give er a cunt full :p |
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how does one "help" one "make out" with another, I assume it's not like a supervision thing that's my only question/thought out of this whole thing -baffled in boston |
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oh i dunno she probably wanted me to tell him to make out with her or something. in the car on the way over she was like (drunkenly) "if there was no andrew, i'd totally go out with you" and i was like "oh, well that makes it all worth it" and she said "really?" and i just looked at her and said "...NO." |
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"i'm just really pissed off because the last time i felt like i found a girl was this right for me was about a year ago (anyone remember my "i gave a girl a mix tape today" thread?) " while i was going through shit in my room i found the mix cd that girl made me a year ago it's just been a fucking rolly coaster lately. |
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you'll turn out alright, just keep in touch with who you are and who you want to be |
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i say fuck her, take lots of pictures, and pass them out to everyone you know |
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roygbivcore is great. Dude you rock. Hope you get happy soon mate. |
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i decided to put on druqks the vinyl one |
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really? ha I'm preparing mine for my girl. Luckily I've moved into the guest room which sleeps 5 with lots of room to move around. Once I get rid of the extra beds it'll be massive. Can't wait! :) |
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and the xltronic crew ;) |
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fuck it i've accepted the whole thing |
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well i spent some time talking to her on aim last night and i guess she has no feelings for me at all so i guess there's always next year |
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hahaha i'm such a fag i remember that girl she turned out to be kind of crazy and ended up with a friend of mine for a while. i was telling him a story and in the middle of it she sits next to him with a photo album and starts showing him pictures of like her family or something and really loud i'm like "OH IT'S COOL I'LL FINISH THIS STORY LATER" and she looked at me and i just could tell that she didnt get that she did something wrong. i'm still lonely though! |
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:( its ok nigel things will be ok! |
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