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Bill Hicks
 

offline wizards teeth from Newcastle (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 06:44 [#00948546]
Points: 1070 Status: Regular



Legend!


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 06:47 [#00948551]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



Derek?


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 06:48 [#00948554]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



nah man, the REAL bill hicks, you know, the funniest guy
ever born? Him.


 

offline Jarworski from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 06:49 [#00948555]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker



Correct.


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 06:57 [#00948563]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



why is he so great? give me some quotes, convince me.


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 07:00 [#00948566]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



he *was* great, he's kinda rotting in the ground these days.
Bob Mcbob, you would love him. Get some CDs, or the channel
4 DVD DO IT NOW DAMNIT, SAVE YOURSELF.


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 07:03 [#00948568]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



the only stand up comedian ive ever liked is jasper
carrott.

is he better than jasper carrott?

i think i know what your answer will be but i have to be
sure


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 07:07 [#00948573]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



jasper carrott? hahahaha. My respect for you just dropped a
peg. Yes, he is way better than Jasper Carrott. He talks
about how shit the world is, and how dumb like, 90% of the
world is. He's kinda like Michael Moore crossed with Mark
Thomas crossed with someone else really really really funny


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 07:12 [#00948582]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



ok i almost never listen to jasper....and i dont know who
those guys you just said are.


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 07:22 [#00948596]
Points: 26326 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



Classic Hiscks:

Some guy is heckling him.

He gives a little bit back.

The bloke is a fool and carries on.

Hicks having had enough just shouts at the bloke

"Hitler had the right idea; he was just an
UNDERACHIEVER!
"


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 07:28 [#00948607]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



got anything better? :|


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 07:30 [#00948615]
Points: 26326 Status: Lurker | Followup to Bob Mcbob: #00948607 | Show recordbag



I've taken drugs. Had a great time. Laughed my ass
off......

didn't lost ONE fucking job


 

offline WeaklingChild from Glasgow (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 07:57 [#00948660]
Points: 3354 Status: Lurker



hahaha....jasper carrott....


 

offline neut from Boise (United States) on 2003-11-13 07:59 [#00948665]
Points: 42 Status: Lurker



See I think drugs have done some good things for us. If you
don't think drugs have done good things for us then do me a
favor. Go home tonight and take all of your records,tapes
and all your CD's and burn them. Because, you know all those
musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your
lives throughout the years? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal
fucking high on drugs, man.

- Bill Hicks


 

offline neut from Boise (United States) on 2003-11-13 08:00 [#00948669]
Points: 42 Status: Lurker



That quote can be found on Tool's Aenima.


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 08:06 [#00948679]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



ive seen nothing on here to convice me to like bill hicks.
in fact, from what ive read most people on this board are
funnyer than him.


 

offline Jarworski from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 08:17 [#00948690]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker | Followup to Bob Mcbob: #00948679



Well don't check it out then. Live on in your blissful
ignorance of the most talented comedian to ever grace this
planet, and carry on watching Carrot's Commercial Breakdown
repeats.


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 08:20 [#00948697]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



i think ive over-emphasized how much i like carrott, i watch
like 1 tv show of his per year, i dont really like stand up
comedy. and if you find bill funny, thats your opinion, so
far i do not.


 

offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2003-11-13 08:20 [#00948698]
Points: 12423 Status: Regular



It's funny because he talks about drugs.


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 08:32 [#00948711]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



aphextriplet said 'He talks about how shit the world is' and
so far all quotes have been about drugs. i dont take drugs
and i dont find them funny. come on people i really do want
to see why everyone here except me likes him, i dont want to
be left in the cold anymore :( a decent quote or 2 please


 

offline neut from Boise (United States) on 2003-11-13 08:43 [#00948724]
Points: 42 Status: Lurker



You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -
trillions of dollars? Instead, if we use this money to feed
and clothe the poor of this world, which it would do many
times over, then we can explore space, inner and outer,
together, as one race.

- Bill Hicks


 

offline neut from Boise (United States) on 2003-11-13 08:44 [#00948725]
Points: 42 Status: Lurker



What do atheists scream when they come?"

- Bill Hicks


 

offline neut from Boise (United States) on 2003-11-13 08:44 [#00948726]
Points: 42 Status: Lurker



for more, go here: http://quotes.prolix.nu/Humor/Bill_Hicks/


 

offline Jarworski from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 08:45 [#00948727]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker



You need to hear him to appreciate it. Get on a p2p and get
some skits.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-11-13 08:45 [#00948728]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



yeah, those quotes are fucking lame...


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2003-11-13 08:49 [#00948732]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



thans for trying neut, i think more of him now but i wont be
rushing out to buy any of his dvds


 

offline celloncllone from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-11-13 08:57 [#00948740]
Points: 849 Status: Regular



"after a show, i went to a waffle house, i am not proud of
it, i was hungry. so i am sittin there readin a book, and
this waitress comes up to me......(chewing on gum
loudly....) hey!...what you readin' fo?......bill: er, i've
never been asked that, i don't know. shit, you stumped
me!.....i guess i have a lot of reasons to read......one of
the biggest reasons is so i don't become a fucking WAFFLE
WAITRESS....okay.
bill: then this trucker in the next booth goes---"looks like
we got ourselves a reader!"--- bill: i am like...what the
fuck is going on here, am i stepping out of some
intellectual closet here?"

-bill hicks

may we learn from him


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-11-13 09:01 [#00948742]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to celloncllone: #00948740



ok, so that one is funny! :)


 

offline euphonicfilter from illadelphia (United States) on 2003-11-13 09:02 [#00948743]
Points: 2443 Status: Addict



from what im reading he's no george carlin

who IS the best comedian to have ever lived


 

offline celloncllone from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-11-13 09:04 [#00948744]
Points: 849 Status: Regular



bill hicks being critical of steoreotyping of drug-use
outcome

bill: i've done drugs, not ashamed of it, had some great
times. but on the news you always hear the same story.....

teenager on acid, jumps off building. thought he could fly.

bill: don't go blaming drugs on this guy, he was an idiot.
oh no, one less doorknob on this planet.....if he thought he
could fly, why didn't he take off from the ground first?
check it out, you don't see ducks taking the allevator to
the roof to take off do you?....

i'd like to see a positive drug story once, wonder what the
people would think...!

"today, a young man on acid realized that we are all one
great consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. that
there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream in
which we are the imagination of ourselves. here's tom with
the weather."

--watcher: honey, did you see the news? shit.

bill: it's not a war on drugs!
it's a war on personal
freedom is what it is--
keep that in mind!!!


 

offline euphonicfilter from illadelphia (United States) on 2003-11-13 09:05 [#00948745]
Points: 2443 Status: Addict



drugs are tired...


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-11-13 09:05 [#00948746]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



seems all this Bill Hicks guy talks about is drugs... which
doesn't interest me...



 

offline Jarworski from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 09:09 [#00948750]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00948746



That's cause you're a fucking faggot.


 

offline celloncllone from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-11-13 09:11 [#00948751]
Points: 849 Status: Regular



no, bill hicks liked to discuss "freedom" you know the
government vs. the people, drugs was one of those topics,
but he discussed flag burning, and generally the mentality
of american people......

bill: the government is trina put cocaine and marijuana in
the same category.....STOP! don't go putting marijuana in
the hard drug category, it's an HERB man......like TEA.....

bill: i think marijuana should be legal, heck it should be
mandatory.

bill: see a truck driver in traffic, beep beeeeeeeeeep
beeeeeep (honking the horn bigtime...), open his door and
say "smoke this, it's the LAW".......
(sound of trucker inhaling, followed by a sigh of relief and
a laugh)

trucker: shit! sorry, i was taking life seriously.....

bill: let's all be mellow tired and hungry fucks, no traffic
jams.....a wave of domino trucks on the streets.....let them
get stuck in traffic, all our pizzas will be free...


 

offline Jarworski from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 09:11 [#00948752]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker



Just kidding :)

Reserve judgement until you've heard a full set. If I played
you Smojphace and you thought that's all Afx did, you'd be
wrong, wouldn't you? Bill's political diatribes are
hilarious and also bang on.


 

offline celloncllone from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-11-13 09:14 [#00948756]
Points: 849 Status: Regular



Did you know that if you play the New Kids On The Block
record backwards, it actually sounds better. -bill

How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not
Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble
Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!'
'You're Bubba!'
'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma
belt...' -bill

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you
think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fuckin'
cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a
rifle pendant on." -bill

My final point about alchohol, about drugs, about
Pornography...What business is it of your's what I do, read,
buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm
another human being whilst on this planet?
And for those of you having a little moral dilemna on how to
answer this, I'll answer for you.
NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS
Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation
outta my fucking life.
And stop bringing shotguns to UFO sightings, they might be
here to pick me up and take me with 'em. -bill


 

offline giginger from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 09:16 [#00948760]
Points: 26326 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



Did a goodle image search for Bill Hicks and got this weird
site.

http://www.gla.ac.uk/~cmc1z/fantasy_celts_b/fantasy_celts_1
9.html


Attached picture

 

offline celloncllone from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-11-13 09:16 [#00948761]
Points: 849 Status: Regular



Obnoxious , self-righteous, whining little fucks. My biggest
fear is that if I quit smoking, I'll become on of
you...Don't take that wrong. I have something to tell you
non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and
I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times.
Ready?.......Non-smokers die every day...Enjoy your evening.
See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy
because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to
POP that bubble and bring you hurtling back to
reality....You're dead too. -bill

I generally love my job. You know what the great thing about
being a comic is? I have no boss. That's a definate
lifestyle plus isnt it?..Aren't bosses
something?.....They're like gnats at a picnic man....Get the
fuck out of here buddy, it's just a job, doesn't mean a
thing. I smoked a joint this morning, you're lucky I
showed...My bed was like a womb man... -bill

Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look
really unevolved? -bill

The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you
choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how
powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and
round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very
brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a
while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and
they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a
ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back
to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever,
because, this is just a ride...

And we... kill those people. -bill

What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was
invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up
didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now
going, "It's gonna be worth it!" -bill

I'm not a girl, I'm a guy you know? But at the same time, I
tell ya how you can solve this abortion issue right now.
Ready?
Those unwanted babies that single moms leave in alleys and
in dumpsters? Leave


 

offline celloncllone from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-11-13 09:17 [#00948765]
Points: 849 Status: Regular



about 12 of those on the steps of The Supreme Court.
This is over. Like that.
"You guys said we had to have them? Then you guys...FUCKING
RAISE 'EM."
"Raise 'em then, you fucking fucking raise 'em. YOU raise
'em. You said I had to have it? Then it's yours. Fuck. It's
yours..Take it"


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-11-13 09:17 [#00948766]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



Fun fact: A sample of Bill Hicks is used on the (Adam)
Freeland track "We Want Your Soul".


 

offline mc_303_beatz from Glasgow, Scotland on 2003-11-13 09:17 [#00948767]
Points: 3386 Status: Regular



The funniest comedian ever is Billy Connelly


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 09:30 [#00948782]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



billy connelly IS funny, but i borrowed his last dvd from
someone and it sucked monkeywilly. Cant compare him with
bill hicks, who was only around for like, 6 years when BC
has been around nearly 40



 

offline Scabs Codeine from L.A. (United States) on 2003-11-13 10:32 [#00948813]
Points: 148 Status: Lurker



Bill Hicks was great. Wish he was still around today, we
could use his commentary/humor right now. My girlfriend
wrote a book about Bill called "American Scream" if you guys
are interested in Hicks you should check it out.


 

offline neut from Boise (United States) on 2003-11-13 12:27 [#00948880]
Points: 42 Status: Lurker



Hicks, Carlon, and Cross.

1 down 2 to go.

i miss them already. :(


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-13 13:18 [#00948928]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker | Followup to Scabs Codeine: #00948813



your girlfriend is cynthia whassername? i read that book


 

offline Scabs Codeine from L.A. (United States) on 2003-11-13 15:23 [#00949049]
Points: 148 Status: Lurker



"your girlfriend is cynthia whassername? i read that book"

Cythia True, yep.


 

offline Scabs Codeine from L.A. (United States) on 2003-11-13 15:47 [#00949064]
Points: 148 Status: Lurker



Cythia=Cynthia

Do you think its ironic I go out with a writer and I have
the worst typing and spelling skills?

;)


 

offline optimus prime on 2003-11-13 22:39 [#00949545]
Points: 6447 Status: Lurker



funny stuff.


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-11-14 01:05 [#00949571]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



i think bill would have died by now of laughter anyway. As
soon as Bush #2 got elected and went back into Iraq...
hahaha, hes probably pissing himself upstairs


 

offline bill_hicks from my city is amazing it is calle on 2003-11-18 06:51 [#00955210]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker



Thanks for all the plaudits here people, but really it's not
necessary. At the end of the day i am just a normal guy,
like any of you lot. really. Well, maybe slightly more
intelligent, but that's it.


 


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