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 Now online (1)big ...and 279 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614128 Today 0 Topics 127542 |
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I'm looking for statements with potential as lyrics: What is the shortest possible comment that is packed as economically as possible with ludicrous information? I think I found a new winner from the previous contestant: "one time I ate some legos and when I crapped them out it was a car" When analyzing the ludicrous elements in this 16 word statement, one finds 2. 1) the act of eating legos 2) the improbability of them turning into a car after passing through the digestive system This statement therefore gets a score of 2/16 However, when one analyzes the ludicrous elements in this 16 word statement, one finds a WHOPPING 4: "I shall cut the mustard until the pickles run red with the ketchup of my enemies!" 1) cutting the mustard is a euphemism for farting 2) farting implied as a valiant power to defeat ones enemies 3) triple use of hamburger condiments 4) oblivious acceptance of ketchup as blood This statement therefore gets a score of 4/16 |
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Every TV cancellation gets debation on whether or not its time for masturbation clearly marked 'violation' |
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Every TV cancellation gets debation on whether or not its time for masturbation clearly marked 'violation' 1/2) rhyming deserves 1/2 a point I guess 1/2) masturbating deserves a whole point because it is quite ludicrous, but I was forced to deduct 1/2 a point because I would feel too awkward actually singing about it... 1/16 (what's with them all being composed of 16 words??) |
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"I would rather eat than see my children starve." |
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Also, "I fell asleep behind the wheel nearly hitting a car, but after that I couldn't sleep even if my life had depended on it." -P |
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Good ones Paco! ....Hmm...I'll try again later. |
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"i invented the cordless extension cord" |
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sorry, just woke up.. best i could think of |
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Sucker punches are free for only 2 dollars a bunch |
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"I would rather eat than see my children starve" 1/2) "I would rather STARVE than see my children starve" would be a normal sentence. This gets 1/2 a ludicrous point for saying the opposite. Unfortunately the result is just an obvious sentence. 1/2 out of 9 "I fell asleep behind the wheel nearly hitting a car, but after that I couldn't sleep even if my life had depended on it." 0) You get one point because driving behind the wheel while sleeping is ludicrous, but you get minus one point because the sentence is too dumb and confusing. |
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"i invented the cordless extension cord" 1) 1 point for terms that cancel eachother out thus making a confusing nonsense sentence. 1/6 Sucker punches are free for only 2 dollars a bunch 1) as above, 1 point for two statements that cancel eachother out. 1/2) 1/2 point for the idea of selling physical pain 1 and a half/10 |
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"yowza!!!!" |
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Umm... "It was messy and mentally scarring the day Mr. Snorkel mistook a squirrel for his loopy-straw!" |
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Eating my parboiled meat crisp is practically the best thing that never happened to you, ma'am. |
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if at first you don't succeed, give up and commit suicide |
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I can picture the baron wearing a cape, holding a spatula into the air and saying triumphantly ""I shall cut the mustard until the pickles run red with the ketchup of my enemies!" |
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"computer games don't affect kids; i mean if pac-man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." kristian wilson, nintendo, inc. 1989 |
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that's not very short, but i love it |
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Pierced by stabs. |
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Your analysis of my 2nd statement: [REJECTED]. Try again, its more complex than that. -P |
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read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction. i don't know how luducrous that is but it sounds nice. |
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"Pluck a Duck (tm)" |
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1) Milk Raiders of the Universe Unite 2) I sell Vacuum to Stars. 3) Psycho Army, High on Speed (this one is an actual tabloid headline) |
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Fish flock in mayonaise trees Patience is a virtue, but it takes so long! |
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Everytime I shit, I learn more and more about the history of the NHL. |
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I was so tired that I had to sell my kids for cheese. |
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why does it rain? because of the roof |
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Glass Eater's koan: Vietnam yoyo reggae cohoes He runs all over the fucking place Without seeming to move |
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hop! am i moving now? :) |
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If you find the buddha in the road and he is made of glass eat him |
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for real ! :D |
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I love your icon! It looks like stained glass; surprised you haven't eaten it yet. Got more art online somewhere? |
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no not now, ill change my avatar with personal art sometimes... but ill "soon" bring a site up, with loads of drawings!! btw if somebody knows a link to post art for free, ill also try it... |
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Shit' I can't find the link right now, but there's a site that lets you put up art and also sell it. It seems they print on demand. |
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I always kick myself for picking up music instead of art when I was a kid. There are so many musicians and so few good artists. That's why artists live the lives of kings. |
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let me know when ull find it then and ill show many beautifull art pieces (im so modest) |
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rain makes me dream of fire. and reverse rain. |
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that was the worse thing ever. i'm sorry |
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"1) cutting the mustard is a euphemism for farting" whats ludicrous about that? it is indeed an euphemism, so..? as far as I've read, your ratingsystem seems sowhat flawed and inconsequential, w M w.. |
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i need a reality check made out to cash... that was from the baron long ago :sniffles: |
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Every time you sneeze a rapper dies. |
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I'm going for Eminem!! Wish me good luck! :D -P |
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when the spark flies off the handle, the grass is never greener on the other onion |
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yes, but can you make a euphemism for farting while SIMULTANEOUSLY creating a triple hamburger condiment bonus WITH that euphemism??? |
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Geez. Who knew one silly statement could be so...overanalyzed. ;) |
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so now you want me to make an euphemism of a sentence with another euphemism in..? |
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Everytime you masturbate Santa Claus eats one of his reindeers. |
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then he ran out a long, LONG time ago.. ;) |
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i flung out my sword, and shot my dead wife! |
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w M w = taking this WAY too seriously. Besides, write your own damn poem if we ain't good enough! |
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