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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 401 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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i've been on here for.. what.. 10 years? i went through a long drug addiction period and disappeared off here for a while and then I got all cleaned up and back on track started posting and making music. the last 6 months I've been living up in seattle and got depressed and lonely and began using drugs to temporarily avoid these feelings. its gotten very bad lately. a month ago I met a 20 year old girl (i am 29) with whom I instantly and foolishly fell in love. I knew it would hurt in the end but I did it anyhow, like most of the things I do.. she hasn't broken up with me, she just flakes on me and ignores on me for days on end such that its not worth it, so the shit is over, and I'm really sad. I stayed up all weekend smoking cocaine and just slept a solid twelve hours. I feel like crying but i'm not. there are lots of obvious solutions but they all involve time and healing and I'm really impatient and pick at wounds. thanks for letting me sad up our forum for a minute with my pitiful thread. |
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in case it wasn't obvious in there: i feel really bad. i just realized I should count my blessings and start from there. |
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smoked gouda is almost as good as smoked cocaine. why not switch? |
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Sorry to hear things are rough illfates. I hope they improve for you soon; hearing your plight certainly puts my worries into perspective. |
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womenz. sit do nothing and let the moment pass. |
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my roommate is kind of a paternal figure for me; i've lived with him at no expense for the last year (i am in school and not expected to work full time and he does not charge me rent). His twenty year old son drowned in micronesia last weekend and he has been gone all week dealing with it. He just got back and I talked with him for the first time in a week and i feel better. "hearing your plight certainly puts my worries into perspective. " I feel the same way re: him. His son just died. His ex-wife was a crazy borderline type just like the girl I've been wrent by, so we have many points on which we connect, rationally and emotionally. I'm glad he's back. I think I will be able to help him by helping myself, which is what I need from people more than the crazy bullshit combined with intensely hot sex. That shit is.. well.. crazy bullshit. |
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I feel for you. It's a shitty situation to be in. Have you tried the 12 step thing? Forget the religious aspect. It sounds like you need someone else than a room mate. |
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Try cognitive behaviour therapy. Change your behaviour by changing your inner monologue. Structure your day. Make plans. Exercise. Write everything in a diary. Read. |
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monoid, does that stuff work for you, or do you find yourself doing those things when you're happy? |
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also, drugs have never been my problem. they sometimes cause more problems when I use them as a solution (sometimes = always so I guess they are A problem but hardly THE problem). things are looking up.. i mean.. not to sound foolishly optimistic but i certainly feel a billion times better than i did two days ago |
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and I guess the biggest difference between now and then is that I haven't been doing as many drugs so maybe drugs are my problem. i think causality is the problem. |
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Do these things anyway. Doesn't matter if you are happy or sad. If you don't do things because they annoy you, you won't change your behaviour. Keep in mind you do these things, because you want to change your behaviour and erase the old program. Than write down what you actually did do. |
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No, thank you for sharing. I feel pretty much the same except that I'm not that extreme on the destruction side, I have a girlfriend at the moment but when she touches me I feel like punching her, dunno what to do, I wish I met a 20 yo girl that would make me crazy and sad and lonely |
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Don´t punch |
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i'm not good at giving advice. keep making music cause that can help you not to think too much about sad or bad things. at least that's what i do when things get heavy. dunno. cheers. |
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i won't, i eventually tell her to back off, in a more or less pissed off way. |
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yeah in my experience, making music is the only way i can turn my suicidal thoughts into hope. i'm never sure it's a good idea but it keeps me going. |
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why the fuck were you smoking cocaine? do you mean crack? |
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Read "I AM THAT" by sri nisagardatta Maharaj |
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shout "I AM THAT" until you lose your voice |
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yeah no one smokes cocaine hcl. |
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Try DUBturbo |
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DUBturbo got bassssssss |
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