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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 14:46 [#02069342] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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 | Can I get a sort of "their own version" of their disorder? Their experience of it?
 
 
 
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         |  w M w
             from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 14:49 [#02069344] Points: 21639 Status: Lurker
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 | ME! 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 14:50 [#02069346] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02069344 | Show recordbag
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 | how does that particular part of your existence feel. If you're on suppressive drugs, how did it feel before these
 drugs, and how does it feel on them?
 
 
 
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         |  tolstoyed
             from the ocean on 2007-04-04 14:52 [#02069347] Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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 | when does something become a disorder? 
 i know i have psychological problems but i don't know if
 that is enough to call it a disorder..i mean, i know im not
 normal but im aware of it which is odd..or not?
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 14:57 [#02069348] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to tolstoyed: #02069347 | Show recordbag
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 | It's an arbitrary limit. Basically, a disorder is something far outside of "normal" behaviour, but it could just as
 easily be that "normal" behaviour today is abnormal
 behaviour somewhere or sometime else.
 
 I'm not sure your problems are psychological, though, they
 may only be existential. Not that that makes them less
 important, it just puts them in a different category. Also,
 no-one is normal in that sense: If you're normal, you're
 abnormal; you're both the normal and the abnormal, both the
 individual and the society.
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 14:58 [#02069349] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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 | In any case, can you describe your own experience of what you feel is the abnormal part of you? If you don't feel
 comfortable doing it in public, you can mail me.
 
 
 
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         |  Gwely Mernans
             from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2007-04-04 15:02 [#02069352] Points: 9875 Status: Lurker
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 | I'd rather not. 
 
 
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         |  tolstoyed
             from the ocean on 2007-04-04 15:03 [#02069353] Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069349
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 | i'd rather send it via email yeah..are you in a lot of hurry?
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:04 [#02069354] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to Gwely Mernans: #02069352 | Show recordbag
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 | Oh I know you've got something good! Mail me. 
 It's both for personal interest and for scientific interest
 (often coinciding), but I won't use anything explicitly in
 papers.
 
 
 
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         |  thatne
             from United States on 2007-04-04 15:06 [#02069355] Points: 3026 Status: Lurker
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 | ive been diagnosed paranoid schizo phrenic while on lsd-25 but i dont think
 i really am ill in that way however i do
 take abilify and before i was on it my
 thoughts were sort of given free reign
 but now i do my best to administrate.
 like if i have a bad idea i stop thinking
 of it immediately rather than obsessing.
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:07 [#02069356] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to tolstoyed: #02069353 | Show recordbag
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 | Well, I've got a bit of time. It's mainly just for my own thoughts for a master paper. I don't want to develop
 something that doesn't apply to life, if you know what I
 mean.. the best way is to look at peoples experiences,
 including my own. I've got some experience with mild
 depressions and stuff like that, but I'm kind of stubborn so
 I always get out of it just on the "I won't let myself"
 promise.
 
 
 
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         |  big
             from lsg on 2007-04-04 15:07 [#02069357] Points: 24091 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069354 | Show recordbag
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 | he has a Face-avatar 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:10 [#02069359] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to thatne: #02069355 | Show recordbag
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 | abilify? 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:11 [#02069360] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to big: #02069357 | Show recordbag
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 | I know. It's kind of disturbing, I think I need a hug... 
 
 
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         |  big
             from lsg on 2007-04-04 15:15 [#02069362] Points: 24091 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069360 | Show recordbag
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 | biggiesmartypants hugs drunken mastah 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:16 [#02069363] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to big: #02069362 | Show recordbag
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 | Drunken Mastah hugs biggiesmartypants!!! 
 
 
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         |  w M w
             from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 15:20 [#02069367] Points: 21639 Status: Lurker
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 | It feels like I exist in a big complex system where every constituent sub system is backfiring, polluting, snagged or
 otherwise ill. And likewise for all the subsystem's
 subsystems. No subsystem is completely broken; that would be
 too painless. They all continue to cause actions, only in
 complex fucked up ways, and they mutually interact with and
 fuck eachother up. That is a description of the environment
 and my own personal illness is a reflection of that.
 Also I've been taught by humans to fear and hate them. That
 conflicts with my genetic desire for female companionship
 such as qrter. It's like everything wants to pull my two
 brain hemispheres apart, most likely in a self destroying
 slice like how an orange doesn't seperate into segments
 properly when not ripe, and god knows what wants to come
 out. Maybe more trick can springy snakes than our current
 science could understand being able to fit in a small set
 volume.
 My mind wants to bend and destroy everything my eyes see or
 inflict it on myself in a solid burst of endless energy like
 the sun, or like I'm the lawnmower man beginning to implode
 due to having a soul composed of the neverending story's
 'nothing'.
 When I look in the mirror I see gmork and I'm constantly
 shaddering. I am broken shards.
 But I'm in a good mood today and can't do much introspection
 of my fucked up moods unless I'm currently in one. But
 generally you can see my medical record by reading my
 history of xltronic posts.
 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 15:24 [#02069370] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker
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 | Don't most people have some kind of psychological disorder? 
 
 
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         |  tolstoyed
             from the ocean on 2007-04-04 15:25 [#02069371] Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to w M w: #02069367
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 | haha awesome! 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:38 [#02069373] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02069367 | Show recordbag
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 | I actually want a proper description, but I'll take yours into consideration, as you're IAN NOLL KING OF ROCKNROLL!!!
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 15:39 [#02069376] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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 | Actually, Noll, just describe what you're experiencing right now. What you're actually experiencing. No fancy words,
 what's around you, how does it appear to you?
 
 
 
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         |  w M w
             from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 15:49 [#02069378] Points: 21639 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069376
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 | my chin is resting on a table and preventing me from stumbling over and my laptop is on this table and I'm
 kneeling on the ground. My legs are pretty uncomfortable
 from the kneeling and I have to go pee a little bit. I'm
 looking at the monitor and typing stuff. Right now I am
 typing this sentence. Just now I started rocking back and
 forth nervously mostly from having to pee which is causing
 this flimsy table to shake since my chin is resting on it.
 Also I only have one eye open; I only consiously realized
 that now and am not really sure why. I just opened both eyes
 and noticed how one eye (the open one) has a better view of
 the monitor and the other had one of my typing hands
 slightly in the way; their compined stereoscopic vision
 resulted in one blurred hand in the foreground so maybe
 having only one eye open was to eliminate that. I just
 swallowed right now. My nose is whistling. I laughed out
 loud when I wrote that last sentence but now realize its not
 funny. Well, I'm gonna go take a pee; thank you for your
 thorough investigation. Let me know if I can have a 'sane'
 stamp on my hand.
 
 
 
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         |  Ophecks
             from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2007-04-04 15:52 [#02069379] Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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 | I do, I just wish I knew who, and what they suffer from, so I could watch for it.
 
 
 
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         |  HmND
             from your mom (Israel) on 2007-04-04 16:22 [#02069386] Points: 660 Status: Regular
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 | I'm diagnosed with depression, mainly cause I can't be arsed talking about everything else I have with my shrink. I sit
 on anti-depressants. I don't have time to talk about it now
 either. Hah.
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 16:23 [#02069387] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02069378 | Show recordbag
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 | Merci. 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 18:04 [#02069418] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069370 | Show recordbag
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 | That depends. Normality can be a disorder. 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 18:07 [#02069422] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to HmND: #02069386 | Show recordbag
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 | Clinical depression? How does that work out for you? 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:08 [#02069423] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069418
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 | Some consider thought itself to be a psychological disorder. 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:09 [#02069424] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069423
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 | A cancerous fluctuation in the space-time continuum. 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 18:10 [#02069426] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069423 | Show recordbag
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 | Hahah, well in that case they're stupid and possibly in need of therapy.
 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:10 [#02069427] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker
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 | I hate it when a psychological disorder is used by its sufferer to get away with being a lazy, self-consumed bore.
 Also, its cyclical nature can become tiresome, and lead to
 an erosion of sympathy. That may sound harsh but, hey, so
 what.
 
 
 
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         |  mylittlesister
             from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 18:13 [#02069428] Points: 8472 Status: Regular | Followup to tolstoyed: #02069347
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 | i think technically, a psychological issue is described as a disorder when it becomes an impairment on an individual's
 functioning within society.
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 18:14 [#02069429] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069427 | Show recordbag
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 | Yeah. When you get a diagnosis, this is the same as having a choice, the choice between attempting to rest in its arms
 (which is irresponsible), and dealing with it, relating to
 it actively.
 
 "oh, I've got depression"
 "so the fuck what? Get out and do something then!"
 
 People with a depression don't like to hear it, but it's the
 only cure.
 
 
 
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         |  Drunken Mastah
             from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-04-04 18:15 [#02069431] Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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 | god damn my body demands sleep just when it's getting interesting. I will continue this when sober and rested.
 
 
 
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         |  mylittlesister
             from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 18:15 [#02069432] Points: 8472 Status: Regular | Followup to mylittlesister: #02069428
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 | but then again, that is just as vague. 
 
 
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         |  rockenjohnny
             from champagne socialism (Australia) on 2007-04-04 18:18 [#02069433] Points: 7983 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069423
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 | bad, harmful or unskilful thought as a disorder / curable condition
 
 loving and compassionate thought as a skilful means
 
 
 
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         |  mylittlesister
             from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 18:19 [#02069434] Points: 8472 Status: Regular | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069429
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 | i don't think it's quite that simple. 
 'depression' is now an awful, overused word which holds more
 associations with rock music and women problems, than actual
 mental disorders.
 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:19 [#02069435] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #02069426
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 | Well, at the end of the day, isn't all thought worthless? Maybe you adhere to the belief that the Universe was created
 by its own thought. But then, aren't paradoxes a simple
 indicator that thought and logic are mortally flawed? And
 that, far from knowing all the things we think we know, our
 most basic brainwashed conceptions are based on total
 illusion? Isn't it true that, to become a true master at
 something, thought must first be annihilated? I know this is
 true regarding the two disciplines I am most adept at: Kung
 Fu and Piano Playing (did I say two? Well, they're exactly
 the same thing). And on the same wavelength, everything is
 One, and thought creates duality, and duality is the essence
 of Illusion. And Illusion is bad because Illusion is
 Convenience & Dissent and therefore has no merit and no
 worth.
 
 Thought is the corrupt filter between Universal Energy and
 Localised Energy, the distorted lens of perception which
 hides us from Reality; it is the swaddle of cotton-wool
 which provides false comfort and false security. Yes,
 Thought truly is worthless.
 
 
 
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         |  B123
             from The wicked underbelly (Australia) on 2007-04-04 18:20 [#02069437] Points: 1361 Status: Lurker
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 | 2 of my childhood friends have developed bi-polar disorder. I can't really describe what they're feeling though can I.
 Sometimes it's very sad.
 
 
 
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         |  mylittlesister
             from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 18:24 [#02069439] Points: 8472 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #02069435
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 | existence is merely a series random actions, of which we try to put  an order to, blah blah...
 
 i still struggle with this, as then existence too becomes
 worthless.
 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:25 [#02069440] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069435
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 | ...AND, furthermore, Thought creates Time, and that is something extremely tiresome. Thinking gets in the way of
 action and spontaneity. When I truly play the piano, I
 am the piano and I am the music; otherwise I'm
 merely interacting with it, and my playing is tainted and
 worthwhile only as a practical exercise in moving my fingers
 along a white-and-black board of keys. It is reported that
 Chopin never engaged in Piano Exercises, and his playing is
 said to be the most exquisite ever.
 
 Existence is a verb, and thought destroys verbs.
 
 Verbs > Nouns.
 
 
 
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         |  mylittlesister
             from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 18:25 [#02069441] Points: 8472 Status: Regular | Followup to mylittlesister: #02069439
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 | series of random events^ 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:29 [#02069442] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to mylittlesister: #02069439
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 | Random? Surely only Internet Teenagers use that word, and it's as worthless as they are.
 
 Words like Random, Noun, Matter, belong
 in a museum, untouched & unwept & unsung.
 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:31 [#02069443] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to mylittlesister: #02069441
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 | An Event is a noun; what you say there is the Antithesis of Existence, which is a verb.
 
 
 
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         |  mylittlesister
             from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-04 18:38 [#02069450] Points: 8472 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #02069442
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 | well, if a teenager only exists on the internet then he surely is worthless.
 
 
 
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         |  rockenjohnny
             from champagne socialism (Australia) on 2007-04-04 18:40 [#02069451] Points: 7983 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #02069435
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 | i agree that thought produces illusion, but i think we stumble at the point where we try to discard it.
 
 we need to acknowledge and make room for our thoughts, good
 and bad, open our heart to them, in order to move beyond.
 
 in the case of a person suffering from an imbalance of bad
 thoughts, acknowledging their presence is only the first
 step.
 
 if we go about removing them one or two or three at a time,
 the next time we take a 'lucky dip' into our mind it is
 still likely that we will stumble across another bad
 thought.
 
 so what we need to do in addition is to outweigh the bad
 thoughts, by actively cultivating loving and compassionate
 thoughts.
 
 this means going out into the world and getting involved
 with other people, and helping them. helping others in
 effect for the greater good of everyone involved.
 
 you can see ive steered away from the notion of withdrawing
 from the world in to pursuit of happiness. there is no you
 or me in happiness, there is only all of us.
 
 
 
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         |  thatne
             from United States on 2007-04-04 18:40 [#02069452] Points: 3026 Status: Lurker
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 | what is the theory that thought creates the universe called? is it just solipsism?
 im trying to decide whether to believe
 it but i want to know why other humans.
 
 
 
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         |  marlowe
             from Antarctica on 2007-04-04 18:43 [#02069453] Points: 24636 Status: Lurker | Followup to mylittlesister: #02069450
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| 
     
 
 | haha, yes, that is very true. Still, I'd rather they existed exclusively on the InterNet than burden themselves on our
 streets and ruining the fabric of what's left of our
 fractured and ironically-named Society.
 
 
 
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         |  tolstoyed
             from the ocean on 2007-04-04 18:43 [#02069454] Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to mylittlesister: #02069428
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| 
     
 
 | if it's just that i definitelly am ill. but thinking about it, i prefer to be the way i am atm than to be like people
 that function within society.
 
 
 
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         |  tolstoyed
             from the ocean on 2007-04-04 18:44 [#02069455] Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to tolstoyed: #02069454
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| 
     
 
 | this particular society that is. 
 
 
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         | Messageboard index
 
 
        
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