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 (nobody)...and 496 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614128 Today 7 Topics 127542 |
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she was my first girlfriend ever and we were together for about 7 months. We love eachother lots, but we started to have rather awful fights more and more often lately. It was always a sort of on/off relationship because of this. We could never really work out why we had these arguments so every time we just said 'lets forget about it' and then we were ok again. Thing is, when i get angry, i need to be alone. When she notices this she will ask 'whats wrong?' 'why are you quiet?' as if to say that she is completely innocent. This quite simply makes me explode with rage at times and then i have to really be alone. Another thing is the distance between us (2 hour train ride). I never had a problem with that. I love being alone for a while, and i love being with her in the weekend, but because she was always so busy with school, she also needed to make time for her friends in the weekend, hence sometimes the amount of events in such a short period sometimes drove us both mad. This sunday was the last fight we had before she said this was the last one. As much as she still loves me, she is listening to reason, and reason says that getting back together means just waiting for another fight to happen. Personally, i'm absolutely devastated by this, partly because i feel it's my fault. I'm trying to block out all these negative events and thing about how absolutely incredible it feels to hug, cuddle and make love to her. Regarding this, my love for her was still growing and that is why it feels like this ended too soon. Since i've known her for about 4 years already, we agreed a long time ago that we would always remain friends no matter what happened. Right now this seems absolutely insane to me, considering the fact that i miss her so much right now that i'll cry my eyes out when i see her again. I feel utterly alone, even though she said i can call her or visit at any time. Maybe we'll get back together in the future, maybe not. Right now i'm in such pain i can't imagine how people deal wit |
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with this. I know time will heal the worst of things, but at this moment i dont give a fuck about time healing anything. It feels horribly wrong to just accept that 'this is probably for the better'. There is nothing that could consolate me at the moment. I just want to cry a fucking river and drown the whole world along with it. |
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it's rrough going |
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Funny thing by the way is that she is 19 and i am 25, but i was the one crying my fucking guts out (she cried too, but she did most of the talking as well). Made me feel like a little kid. She was so mature about it, it was both scary and admirable. the sayings 'women. cant live with em, cant live without em' and 'dont know what you got till its gone' have never had more meaning than now, and i dont care how cheesy that sounds.. |
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Youd be better off by not getting yourself stuck in the friendzone. Because later on when you see improvement and you are ready to get back together she will most likely prefer to stay friends because she wouldnt want to ruin the friendship you rebuilt and of course she will recall how often you guys faught when you were together. See the worst thing about being stuck in the friendzone is the guy sometimes think they are going to get out of it while the girl uses the guy as her emotional tampon. Griping about lifes events to him while he encourages her and builds up her confidence. This whole time she is free to see other guys... which if she does will be a new kind of trouble for you. I see that this is your first girl and i am gandering (correct me if wrong) the first girl you slept with. That automatically causes attachment. The first one is always tough but just give it time and you will be back to being single and free. There will always be fights in relationships. People married for 25 years still fight due to conflict of interest. The thing is people need to know when to give and take. Sometimes the guy has to let the girl have her way even though its total bollox and everyone knows it. And vise versa! That way there is balence. There is no perfect relationship, they all require work. Its like tending to a field... you can plant seed but if you dont do any work it will never be fruitful. |
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there's plenty more fish in the sea :) |
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please excuse me for venting but i'm really alone and i feel better letting this out on a messageboard than to call a friend, and risk starting to cry again. Whats so fucking complicated about this is that when i was with her, i realized it was good, but at many occasions i found myself thinking 'surely i dont want to be with her for the rest of my life? she is my first girlfriend. i cant possibly be sure if she is 'the one''. Now, i feel like a complete fool. I felt true love, i felt safe and at peace when lying beside her and i never felt bored with any of it. I'm a fucking idiot. I used to enjoy being single (well i'll admit i have also felt pretty desperate) but now, it doesnt feel like freedom, but like the worst sollitude you can imagine. |
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Sorry mate that's awful news. |
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Have you ever found yourself caught in the "friendzone?" |
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See the worst thing about being stuck in the friendzone is the guy sometimes think they are going to get out of it while the girl uses the guy as her emotional tampon. Griping about lifes events to him while he encourages her and builds up her confidence. This whole time she is free to see other guys... which if she does will be a new kind of trouble for you amen to that |
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I was pretty much in the same situation not that long ago. she was the mature one and all that... I tryed to be, but really really failed and that was pathetic, I was finally so embaressed that I didnt want to see her, or having her see me. So ive not seen her one single time since then, and it's starting to feel better. But things are going to feel shit for awhile, there's not much you can do that will help right now. Might sound like a harsh idea but not seeing her is one of the best but hardest things you can do (imo.) But that wont make it feel better right now.. not at all. It sort of worked for me, slowly... Also ive slowly started to hate my ex, feels really good. One thing I cant get over though is the fact that it feels like ive wasted 4 years of my life, all that smiling and green grass doesnt mean shit now. Well, I hope you will sort things out, try not to feel to bad, hang out with some close male friends =D do some silly guy stuff or something, might make you feel better for the moment maybe. |
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Yes sir! Both I and my friends have been there at some point. Its a good learning experience when you look back on it but when you are caught up in the midst of it ... it is total BS. :D |
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Ouch, I hate breakup pain. It Really Sucks. Anyhow, sounds like you're guaranteed to be miserable for a while, and probably do and say things that will make you feel like an ass. That's how it goes. But happiness will sneak back into your life when you least expect it. |
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if i wasn't so bitter i might have something comforting to say |
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that sounds awful man. of course there isn't much that can be said to make you feel better. plenty of fish in the sea and what not. seems like the end of the world, like you will be alone forever. hang in there, enjoy your time alone. someday you might be married with children like me, and even though it's great in it's own way, i still kinda envy my friends living the bachelor life. kinda. |
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I went through the same thing recently with my missus, we were together for nearly five years. We used to fight like fuck, but really loved each other. Main difference here though is that I cheated on her, split with her for another girl then realised my mistake. This was 7 months ago, but things get better mate. You may not think that they will, but they do. Chin up. |
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I was thinking the same thing, I was just about to say that I've yet to meet a girl that's not a bitch. Glad I didn't. |
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That friendzone stuff is good advice I reckon. Don't think there's any way my ex would want to be my friend, though. Not after the shit I pulled. |
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if that's how you feel. try to make up with her, if she doesn't want to reconcile, then you have to forget about it, try not to indulge too much in your emotions for her, pick yourself up, regain your independance, meet someone else, and voila: life doesn't seem so bad anymore. time is the ultimate healer of pain. |
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*high fives* |
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you are so fucking right that made me start crying again, for fucks sake. that is EXACTLY what i worry about. i could never deal with her seeing someone else. not in a million years. I will indeed as long as i see her keep hoping that we'll get back together. At the same time, i consider her my best 'lady friend' and likewise she always considered me her best friend, so its quite impossible to just end all contact. She just called me to see if i had arrived safely and there was just no way to hide that i'd been crying the whole time, and she asked if i was ok, but at the same time cut off the conversation. She's trying be real tough or something. Can't blame her. She has final exams in 2 weeks. how's that for bad timing? |
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Sorry to hear this. It's a rough situation and I can't really offer any advise on what you should do. Hope you feel a bit better soon. |
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I didn't mean to be rude by the way, I hope things work out for you! |
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i appreciate everybody's comments to the fullest and i apologize for all the times when i thought 'oh i really cant give a fuck about anyone's relationship troubles'. now i know how fucking bad it can get. thanks everyone <3 |
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I find it beneficial that I now live 300 miles away from my ex, I hardly speak to her now either. If I still lived in Nottingham, I'd see her all the time and end up making a twat out of myself. Also keeps me out of the friendzone. I"d love to get back with her, but some things are just best consigned to the past. |
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Honestly my advise to you is to steer clear. Tell her that you need a break to sort some things out. If you are like any other guy out there then you have contemplated getting back with her and perhaps way to do it after a certain duration of time. I am sure she is a great girl but its really not a safe bet. Especially since she is only 19. Its not that its a young age but they tend to act more mature then they really are. From my observence 19-23 or 24ish is the time when a girl will be bouncing around guys. Trying to find one that will put up with her short comings and basically be submissive in the relationship. Most girls want to be the princess in the relationship... always right, catered to etc etc. Around the time they are 23-25 they notice that not only is this unrealistic but they have already peaked in terms of physical beauty. At 25 its not going to get any better and they feel aged. Girls are often times very self conscious. When girls are around 23-25 they tend to slow down. Humble a bit and seem more down to earth (for the most part). At that young age (18-20) they know they have a certain sexual prowess and can grab "any guy" if played right. So i would say take some time away to straighten up your own emotions. At the same time cut contact with her. After around a month you will start feeling progressively better. But remember!!!! Get out of the house. Be with friends. Go to different places and events and enjoy life. I know especially since this just happened you might want to rolll your eyes at this post but keep it in mind. |
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well. in one way fate is on my hands. she is leaving for canada in a while for a language course in english. She will be gone for 2 months. Until then, she will be busy with her exams, so i won't be able to see her a lot anyway. Right now, it feels as if cutting off all contact would make us enemies and i really don't want to hate her or anything. I can fully understand your comments regarding her age. It is something i can easily recognize. I will probably see her in a few weeks. If i go instantly miserable, i know it will be good that she'll be in canada for 2 months. |
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I was typing out some advice but it was shit. Sorry. |
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Too bad. It seems that all my relationships are shite anyway. |
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there's some pretty nifty advice in those google ads below the page.. |
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be a man. I split up with your girlfriend today too. I don't like it when i'm not stealing. |
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Get A Boyfriend Fast Learn Secret Psychology You Need To Become Irresistible To Men |
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Hahaha, I followed a google-ad to http://www.loopylove.com, did a searrch 18 - 25 in my arrea, and fuck me Page 1, therre is a girrl who I used to fancy when I worrked at the hospital, she was in with a brroken foot at the time. |
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Don't do the freind thing panda boy has already made a very detailed and good argument. What you need to do now is expose yourself to new women, start a class in Capowera or Yoga (bored girl heaven) and wear really short shorts that let your tackle flop out. Chicks dig that, but it has to seem "accidental". I hope this helps suck it up emo boy and start laughing at those more unfortunate than you, if you can find anyone! |
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I ve been trough this I know its hard, but try as hard as you can to go on with your life you need more perspective... and time gives us perspective |
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its the same with me, the arguments and all. it sounds tight, but she always comes back to me after an argument so i am never really worried. its scary. she just loves me too much. even if its my fault, she will blame herself. |
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All this story confirms the fact that I SHOULDN'T try to get laid.Never. |
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yes, like nacmat says, you could go for the time option. but that tend the be a loooong time. the best cure for break-ups are other girls. DON'T fall for the-ONE-girl trap. you know, the she's the one kinda thing. if you're in that state, you're fucked. and reading your posts....well, you just have to start to look to other girls. and btw, if you really want to win her back, the best thing you can do is showing her you've picked your life again and are dating other girls. chicks dig that. ;-) |
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otherr girrls is the best option, that is a fact |
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this thrread honestly makes me want to crry, brrings back bad feelings that i'm not frree of yet. |
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Girls are evil. J198 the best option is to forget about girls. There are useless. By the way I can advice you some good pornsites if you want. |
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LOOK YOU GUYS BITCHES IS CRAZY THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND IT |
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all the more serious sounding 'girls=evil' comments make me cringe |
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Congrats on 4116th post! :D |
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But seriously, there is someone else out there for you that wil love and cherish your company for the end of time. There is for everyone I think. Everyone except Monoid. |
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Monoid will get laid before I imo. |
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Did my spunk arrive in the post or not? |
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would it make you feel better if i told you that it never gets any easier and will make you feel sick just thinking about it for the rest of your life and now every girl you ever see will get compaired to her and none of them will touch the pedastal hights that you put your first girlfriend on and you may as well kill yourself now? |
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Love is a cunt bitch who needs a good flat punch to the ovaries. then cum on her face |
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First I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong I grew strong I learned how to carry on and so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face I should have changed my stupid lock I should have made you leave your key If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me Go on now go walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble you think I'd lay down and die Oh no, not I I will survive as long as i know how to love I know I will stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive It took all the strength I had not to fall apart kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself I used to cry Now I hold my head up high and you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me |
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