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have you ever told or been told any music jokes? it can be within any aspect of music, from just jokes about techniques and instruments or whatever to artists and stuff like that as long as it is an actual joke, and not just some random "funny" comment. jokes are something special... jokes aren't funny, but that's why I'm asking. |
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The Planet Mu roster |
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No longer valid is the old music-hall joke about the man who, on being asked what musical instrument he play, replies, "the gramophone" |
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hihi that's the stuff! |
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I enjoy the autechre jokes. |
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music sucks |
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ah, yes, I meant things that are jokes, not just random comments like those. jokes are things that, like, large parts of different communities or groups know, tell and laugh at or whatever.. like this one from the orchestra community: "what's the difference between a viola and a trampoline? ..you take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline" a viola is not the same as a violin (if I've translated correctly). it's basically a slightly larger violin that goes a bit darker. it is considered a silly instrument by all orchestra-people I know. |
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why did the tape hiss? because it was ejected after playing |
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Thanks for these precisions but this doesn't sound like a joke that everybody can understand as long as they don't know what a viola is. |
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What do you do with a kid in the orchestra if he can't play his violin? Take away his bow and give him drum sticks. What do you do if he can't play the drums? Take away one of the sticks and put him at the front. |
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hah, I don't even get that one! |
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everyone in the orchestra group understand it. |
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hihi awesome! |
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oh sorry i didn't read well ; but isn't xlt a community as well ?? |
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Q. What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? A. The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back. |
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yeah, but we don't have jokes like that.. none that I have seen, at least... we just have people who say random things that someone may find funny, and that's not the same as a joke. |
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whats shit your jokes HA! |
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it was linked already, sweety... |
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Q. Why is a conductor like a condom? A. It's safer with one, but more fun without. Q. What's a guy that hangs out with musicians called? A. A drummer. |
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that's more like it, yes! |
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Not music related but just LOL : Q. What goes: "CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it?" A. A blind person with a rubix cube. |
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Golden Rules For Ensemble Playing 1. Everyone should play the same piece. 2. Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot! 3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners. 4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others. 5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience. 6. Take your time turning pages. 7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa). 8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost. 9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent. 10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score. 11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end. 12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune." 13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs. 14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested. 15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original. 16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home. 17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation. |
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haha! that actually made me smile at places! especially #13 and 16! |
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SHRILL |
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For those of you who have been in a band: What did the band say to the bassist? -Nothing. |
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haha, that doesn't make sense.. why? |
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i don't know. my friend, who plays the bass told me this the other day. it kinda made sense at the time :) |
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the relevance of the bass tends to be rather underestimated. |
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ah.. so it's like with the viola then. |
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yeah, i think it's something similar. |
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Here is a list of music jokes : Most of them make laugh of drummers and bassists. |
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