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 Now online (2)Hyperflake recycle ...and 497 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614187 Today 32 Topics 127546 |
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I need more because we see who can use the worst ones and walk away unharmed! :P Here are some things that occured hi i'm beth hi. i dont give a shit "Hi. I'm hot and your a slut, so you should let me fuck the shit out of your fatass" That one results in slaps and spilt drinks. Anything for a laugh |
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being mean (in a non degrading way, like example one) gets women, i swear |
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Oddly enough this is true. A wise man once told me this little gem of information. In hopes that one day i would free men all over the world. :D |
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yes i might have to give up on this sweety stuff |
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Before I came out tonight I was convinced I was going to meet the right person...the person I will spend the rest of my life with. Obviously that hasn't happened but I can make do with you for the night. |
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that's a bit long |
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"hi! I have the largest penis-piercing in norway. Do you want to see it?" true story! |
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Nice! |
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"Hi, my name is FlyAgaric, remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight." |
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They normally say that to me, but it doesn't stop them from wanting it in them. Shit if you cant hold a girls attention for more than 5 seconds you stnd no chance anyway. |
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"have you tried fisting?" If the answer is no "thank god, I hate a loose pussy." If the answer is yes. "Can I fuck your ass then because your pussy will be too loose" |
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You don't sweat that much, being so fat. From a comic |
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Have you tried rohypnol? |
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i've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good |
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ha! That made me laugh out loud! Pete: Perfect. Hopefully i can keep a straight face with that |
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how come your here, fuck off fat ugly bitch. lets go |
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lol. xlt is rather lolly today. |
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"hey, you look like you're waiting for me to ask you out. normally i hate that wanting look on a girls face, but this time i'll cut you some slack. i'd like to have a beer and you can take one too" |
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If you want to leave me tomorrow morning then I deserve it. |
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I have really awesome cats |
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I've lost my puppy, can you help me look for him? I think he went into this toilet cubicle |
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Meh, I can't think of one. I lack expertise in the field of one-liners. |
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Hey, have you ever tried inserting weird shit in you? |
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Do you know the difference between a quiché and a penis? No? Then allow me to take you on a picnic tomorrow... |
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It's going to be a shame not seeing that much of your face tonight. |
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that does not make sense. |
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*smashes a block of ice on the ground* |
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"Hello." |
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Bitch don't scream and aint noone gonna die now y'hear? |
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"do you like tool?" |
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*vomits* hi! you're pretty! |
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"I swallowed a quarter." |
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one of gigingers reminded me of this :hold something up to a girls face: does this smell like chloroform? |
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I think you're referring to the very popular phrase sometimes heard around XLT, "I swallowed qrter." |
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Look, I don't care about conversation becasue you and I both know that it's rude to speak with your mouth full. OK?! |
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You go up to the girl and say "*sticks cock in pussy" |
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"look at my legs," |
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hahahaha |
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and the most overused pickup line goes to.. *drum roll* nice shoes, wanna fuck? |
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Hahahaha! |
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Hi. I'm what the tabloids refer to as a "sex fiend". |
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Hi, are you 18? I'm just checking becasue I just got out from Prison because of my LAST one night stand. Seriously, she didn't look 8. I could've sword she was 20 at least... I thought she was shaved. |
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One for the more sweeter, non slutty types: Do you have god's phone number? I must let him know one of his angels are missing. |
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Hey the zoo called... |
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... they told me to have sex with |
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the escaped gorilla. |
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I instantly declined. |
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"normally i feel sorry for people with a bad haircut, but for you i'll make an exception. btw, do you know it is -give beer to people with a bad haircut-day?" *hands over a beer* |
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isn't giving beer to people with bad haircuts an act of feeling sorry for them? did I mention it's my job to make sure all these pickup lines are mathematically sound? :D |
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