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 (nobody)...and 312 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614130 Today 2 Topics 127542 |
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I've not been diagnosed for this, but lately I've seriously been having issues. I just started college and I don't know a single person, a teacher asked me some question and all I could do was stare at him and open my mouth like I was about to speak. He looked at me as if to say "wtf" and I sorta grunted a little (this is in front of a whole class also). Today I set out to overcome this so when a teacher of mine was engaging in discussion I had a quick thing to say so I planned out what to say. As I was saying it I just sorta trailed off and wasn't able to do anything but mouth the words. The feeling is similar to trying to breath in underwater; you just can't. I've always been a severely awkward person so most of my social memories are horrible and embarrassing. I assume that everyone hates me until proven otherwise, which adds a bit of pressure to every situation...I don't know, this is just getting worse and worse and worse |
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i'm sorry to here that.:( breathing underwater tends to kill people. |
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Shy. The more you expose yourself to this type of situation though the easier it becomes. |
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I had that for a while too. As long as there are nice (and talkative) people in your class it will get easier.. once the pressure loosens a bit things ease up. It did for me anyway. |
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I believe it's the opposite unfortunately for me. Its little things that sort of bother me and they burrow into me like...something that burrows into something else... It's very difficult to describe because I don't fully understand everything about it... |
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this is the point where you can move on, or follow monoid. |
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sounds like you're overly self-conscious. planning what you're going to say is a good idea. |
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I hope it loosens up for me, but I don't think talkative people are the solution; socially adept people put me off big time!...and there's a big rist that they might talk to me :\ |
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Ya, I learned to plan out what I say years ago, but not even that is working anymore...it's just all getting worse; I wish I was one of those really likable social retards, but unfortunately I draw those "what a douche" thoughts from people, I can see it when they look at me in that way that says "what a douche". Anyway I just felt the need to tell someone this problem without actually telling anyone... |
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it might be good to actually tell someone. maybe someone can help you. |
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hmmm, you are right. unfortunately I'm in a bit of a snafoo since its really hard to actually tell anyone anything, especially about myself...another thing, people have already asked about my mental health and offered help and I've refused every time... I wish so much that I could just say YES YES YES YES HELP MEEEEE OH GOD PLEASE |
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gosh |
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just because you've refused help up til now doesn't mean you can't accept the next time it is offered. although I understand it is really hard for you to seek out help, you should really try and do it. your anxieties are clearly affecting your day-to-day life - that's a clear sign that it's time to change your situation. you're living your life in a way that you really don't need to, it can be changed. |
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I think I have a bit of social anxiety too... I feel so uncomfortable around certain groups of people... and when I'm surround by a load of people I don't know I get really nervous and uncomfortable and stuff... |
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To me everyone is cool until proven to be a fucktard. Except women, I automatically label them ahead of time due to my past experiences with them. Its perfectly logical in my mind. So to summerize: Men: Cool till proven otherwise. Women: Guilty until proven smart. |
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Oh anyways, back to your problem: If you have any close friends, talk to them first, unless they are in the same position as you. Otherwise youll just have to get out there in social settings and just chat it up. Figure out what it is about yourself that files you under "douchy", then correct it. |
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Have I ever told you that your avatar makes me rofl |
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I have two close friends, but there's sorta a barrier between us when it comes to touchy "me" stuff, they just don't respond to it. One of them is convinced he's much worse off then me (the guy is a fucking super model and he has a million dollars sitting in a bank somewhere), and the other just makes jokes to clear the air...so they aren't much help. |
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Well then, definately go with the: 'go out in public and reflect upon what makes you douchy' experiment. Otherwise I think you may need to get some help. Practice talking to yourself in the mirror, and act how YOU want to act, rather than the personality that automatically takes over and ruins your life. |
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Or the Monoid that Monoid would have us believe is real. |
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see the thinggggg about being a douche, it isn't like specific things i do, its just i generally loook like I would be a douche...you see what I mean...That said, you are sorta correct; I've tried very hard to find a personality niche to no avail, nothing suits me |
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Ah, so its a physical thing then. Which is even easier to fix than some sort of personality conflict. I can help you out (straight guy for the douche guy style), if you have any way of sending me a recent picture of yourself in your everyday look. |
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heavy drinking |
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o god my everyday look is inside-out black t-shirt (inside out because it has some stupid catch phrase on it) and jeans (or athletic pants [basically sweat pants] cuz they're fun to wear)...if you really want, my sn on aol is, you guessed it, scupbucket |
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I sympathize with you. I've never been diagnosed or anything like that, but it's clear that I have fairly bad social anxiety, maybe Agoraphobia, maybe whoknowswhat. The thing is, I'm not friendly anyway and I don't CARE to overcome it, I'm totally content to be on my own, so I've never bothered to fix it. But I have to be realistic... this is a problem. Have you ever had a job where you were FORCED into tons of communication? I had a job at a call center a while back... I did fairly well, and I was talking to people for, God, 4-5 hours a day. A lot of smalltalk and stuff like that. It's not the same as it is in person... but it's not too different. I made minor strides, but I'll never ENJOY the, err... company of people. But eventually I was able to spit out ideas easier, transfer them from my brain to my mouth with more aplomb. In order to go back to school and succeed, it'll probably take medication. I can't even attend a seminar class, I just can't do it. So it's no wonder I was failing out. It could be chemical, maybe for both of us. Who knows. I don't give a shit about ''fixing'' myself... I'm happier than I've ever been at the moment so fuck it. But if you're really having problems, man, TELL SOMEONE that can do something for you. It's probably going to be too hard on your own, a hole too deep for you to get out of by yourself. Get some meds. A shrink, I dunno, ANYTHING. I want to see what happens when you do... |
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this is true, ofcourse. he can't be real. on the other hand, how fucking bored must you be to keep the pretense up for all this time? |
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thats the magic of monoid. "he" is a collective user name shared by atleast a dozen people, all of whom have a laugh at the boards expense. also, he's aphex twin. |
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as for this topic, i feel for you. i had a very minor version of that kind of thing my first semester of college. not nearly as bad as what you seem to be going through, but i definitely felt awkward in social situations and overall just out of place. i had to take some time off and rethink things. luckily that seems to have worked. but if you're having serious problems, as ophecks says, get someone to help you. posting on this board might alleviate some kind of built up tension for a tiny amount of time, but you've got to talk to someone in real life, be it professional or family, and get some help. you shouldn't have to go through life like that. |
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I went to school today. I think some of this talk has helped out a little; I didn't try to speak in front of the class but I also didn't feel the sort of inability/paralysis like I did this past week. I also talked a little bit to the person sitting next to me. Ophecks: I worked as a bagger for a grociery store for 3 years(!) I started just so I could get 300 dollars for a computer, but when I got that, I wasn't able to quit...this is a whole different story, but basically it didn't help me any with social situations and if anything made it worse. The only reason I was able to do this job was the fact that everything I said was in the job description; the job is to be a robot, so it requires no thinking of what to say or do. |
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Thankfully I don't have this. Therre arre many situations that I don't want to be and don't enjoy and that used to get me down but I don't feel shy orr awkwarrd. I can talk to prretty much anyone without feeling self-conscious. I'd say i'm outgoing in social situations. I hate being silent, that's when I feel like a twat. |
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Overr the last yearr orr so my whole outlook on the suject has changed. I fucking hate being in the house alone. |
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I am rather socially awkward unless i've had a few pints. At which point i become the absolute life and soul of the party* *act like a knob. |
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unfortunately I have not the ability to drink without puking...the smell makes me gag. |
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Don't drrink beerr then, drrink alchopops orr something. Drrink whisky and lemonade orr gin and tonic orr something. Orr something. |
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I do the exact opposite and my mouth goes on overdrive. My sister gave me some good advice regarding situations like this: Think fast - Talk slow* *Not like a retard, but consider what you will say. |
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I am drinking whisky and lemonade right now. About 75% (cheap) whisky though, so i don't feel like a rather butch lady. |
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I have a bottle of cheap whisky with my name on it. |
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Carl: The whisky with VALUE. |
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Hahaha |
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and besides all this....you dont have a griflriend. |
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and besides all this....you dont have a griflriend. |
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two tries and you couldn't spell girlfriend correctly. |
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rub it in why dontchya |
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he has a girlfriend...he doesnt have a griflriend |
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i hope you feel better after murdering that woman and her sister |
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Okay, first work on the alcohol thing. You can't not drink just because it tastes 'yucky'. See, I have a feeling you're still in the 'yummy' phase of your life. It's like this. When you're a little kid, you like 'yummy' things. Candy, marshmallows, etc. Ketchup: yummy, rather than mustard: yucky. Then you finally start liking mustard. Then maybe some relish. Finally some raw purple onions. And before you know it, you'll come home from work one day, and you know you're a grown man when all you want is some caviar, some bourbon, and some pussy. MMmm Mmm. |
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You're no Napolean. Off to the gulags |
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no its more like I had a traumatizing event when i was little, an event such as drinking my dads beer and having an effect not unlike extreme food poisoning from which the wiring in my brain cannot forget...yes more like that ps I've never liked candy |
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Hahaha, GENIUS. |
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