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 Now online (2)dariusgriffin recycle ...and 416 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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holdtight then, don't let slip. Live everyday of what you have as if it were your last. Treat her well, make her feel like the luckiest woman alive. |
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I hope you all feel happier soon :) |
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A question to all those who are brokenhearted here. Was it worth it? |
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Thanks, I will certainly do so and I think I'm doing a good job so far :) Good luck to you too! |
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i hate heartbreak. it ruins me. but, then again, i'm a pansy. |
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Ah, I really feel for you - Yeah, the last time I broke up with mine we were living together - That was hard, but when it actually came to her moving out I think we let out a lot of emotions then, and that made it easier to wake up the next day and feel a bit like a fresh start. Although the bed felt kind of painfully empty for a long while - I'd always find sanctuary in the early hours, after 1am - Go to bed when the sun came up. This time round she told me she'd met someone else over the phone, which I find much harder to deal with. I definetly relate to the feeling of bereavement - Feels like a part of me has died too. I regret how complacent I become when I'm in a tight relationship like that - It can feel so natural you almost become indifferent to it - And unless you're in exactly the same place in life, I guess that can be misinterpretted. Was it all worth it? Yeah, deep down it's only these things that make us feel really alive I guess... I called her to tell her I love her the other day, for the first time properly I just realised - And that was emotional - Made me feel terrible, but also made me feel so alive. Alice In Chains "Jar of Flies" album is getting me through it.. |
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of course it's worth it. i don't think the pain of loss ever exceeds the joy of what you had. plus the pain goes away (really it does) and the memories last forever. but i always look on the bright side. some people may call that naive. |
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i wasn't dumped...it was my fault...i didn't know what i had while it lasted :( im over it now (well i still think about it sometimes...), but it took me ages... |
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Was it your ex that you called to tell her you still loved her? If so what was the result? I am curious as some people do manage to pull things back together. I think in Nacmant's and my case it is terminal. Fucking sad but when someone says there is no place in their life for you anymore you kind of get the impression there mind is made up. Only one week to go of living together then it is over. I am off down to London to see The Bug so that sould get my mind of things nicely :o) |
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When you says ages, how long? |
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since we broke: june: 5- we finished our relationship of 4years (and 2 months) 6- I call her at night, nice talking 7- morning. I feel like shit and call her like 3 times, finally I go to her workplace and we talk, we must take some distance 8- 9- she calls me at night, nice talking. 10- 11- 12- 13- 14- 15- 16- I talk to a friend of hers and its very bad for me, I feel like shit again and I call her at night... so so, not bad, not good, I notice she is miles away from my heart already 17- I call her in the morning and in the afternoon. both are nice calm down talking 18- 19- 20- 21- 22- 23- 24- today: its been a week since I last called her... I hope I can be strong one more week now... i cannot call her cos whe will feel I am all hang of her.... but I am really that way... anyway I was able to spend a week without calling her... so that gives me some hope in my recovering anyway I still wish we were together again |
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well, ages is a bit exaggerated...it was almost 4 years, which is still quite a long time, at least it was at that time...time is passing so fast these days, 4 years really doesn't seem that long anymore. nacmat, dunno what to say really...it sucks...the best thing would be not to think about it, although that's impossible...mybe try and convience yourself the relationship wouldn't be the same since she apperantly doesn't have same feelings for you anymore...although that's impossible as well, since you still love her...it sucks and that's that. |
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I will gain some more strengh if I am able of not calling her at all |
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As much as I want to be around her I cannot bear to hear her talk to her new man on the phone at night. The jealousy is unbearable. I need her away from me. I never thought I woudl say this. It is even harder as I love her so much still. |
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i knew you and i have our differences but i've sorta gone through this and i hope you find calamity during this hectic period in your life. "remember the good times instead of the wish we could times" |
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talking to me? |
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You hope he finds calamity? Son of a bitch! |
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I have a problem where I get really attached... I think I just put everything into it, that I almost forget about myself, and then when it's over I'm completely ruined... I had a REALLY bad situation a couple years ago, and have been single ever since... it took me a long time to get myself under control and move on, but I still think of it and feel sad about things sometimes... I have a fear of getting involved with anyone now because of insecurities, fear of hurt, etc... it's really sad, and I keep telling myself to just get out of this rut, but I never do... last night I almost cried in my bed because I just have so many regrets I wish I could go back and fix you know... I mean, I'm only 21 now, but still I've lost so many great friendships and relationships in my time... ah well, such is life right! |
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lol :) |
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whenever I listen to Fields of Gold by Sting, I almost cry! |
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LOL!! |
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yeah its really a bad song isnt it |
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i sorry i such a bastards |
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but a funny one too. |
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it's good! :) |
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Nick Drake fucking rulez. |
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......@.@.@.@..@.. ....@........@..........@ ...@............@....@@ ...@..............@@..@ ....@..............@...@ ......@...........@..@ .........@......@..@ ..............@..@ ..................@ ....................@ .....................@ ......................@........@@@ ......@@@@..@....@..........@ ...@.............@@@......@@ .......@@@.......@..@@ .........................@ .......................@ .......................@ Have a rose Mr Pink Hat =o) And a kiss aswell ! =oX |
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and tonight she called me to see how I was doing.... why? doesnt she that hurts me more? |
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Yeah! I just had this overwhelming urge - So I called her and it just came out, I was a mess(!)... I don't even know why I said or did it, it wasn't an attempt to get back together, because I kind of realise I need to get my independance back, and I guess I realise I've got a lot of growing I need to do on my own before I can be truely happy I think. I think it was kind of emotional for her - She suggested we shouldn't speak for a while because it was a little wierd for her being in a new relationship and everything, and still having me in her head, I guess. Anyway, the first 5 days since we properly split, I did feel really depressed and lost - Just like you said, I can't deal with her talking about her new guy over the phone - She sounds like she's all caught up in this new romance, so that's wierd - Feels our bond has suddenly been cut - It's just chemical at that stage, I know that, there's no fighting it... I've been in the grips of infatuation myself too many times! I've forgotten about best friends, neglected family, etc... For the first 5(ish) days I couldn't even say "we're never going to be together again" once, let alone 10 times! But I've just stopped speaking to her since last friday, and to be honest, things are starting to feel okay now - I'm still missing her, and trying not to think about it, but I'm eating and sleeping properly, not really depressed any more, although first thing when I wake up often seems like a bit of a low point. I think when I'm single I can devote a lot more energy to myself - I plan to stay single now, and not even look for another girl until I'm where I want to be in life. I've got this urge to go to London though! I think I might try and move to North London sometime this year - Make a fresh start... Just need to get myself together first! I'm sure you'll feel much better when you get some space from her! I really didn't think it would help, and I really didn't want to cut her off for a second - But it does seem to make thing |
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..s easier. Nick Drake does rule - I've been listening to Nick Drake and Alice In Chains a LOT over this last week. These Mad Season songs "River of Deceit" and "I'm Over" have really saved me this time! Haven't relied on music this much since I was a messed up teenager listening to Nirvana 6 hours a day! |
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So true, so true. Do you know "music is my sanctuary" by Gary Bartz? Its a fucking lush soul funk number. But the title is so true, I have been listening to so much music for solice. It is working and giving me a blanket with which to protect myself. If onyl I coudl play the blues on a guitar I would be digging that vein deep too. I am sorry to hear you ex doesn;t want to talk with you. [man hug] That is raw. Mine wants to stay in touch with me but I know I need space for a long time so things can heal for me. As of next Thursday that is it for an age. What you said abotu chemical is so true. In fact that is bloody perfect. I'll have to use that as a point of leverage when talking to her next week. TOnight sees me offf down to London (only for a few mad nights) but I know that urge you are getting for a new start. I am starting a business with my sister and a few Polish guys. It coudl all go horribly wrong, but at least I tried. And it is something I could never have done when my ex was around... |
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Oh I'll check that song out! Cheers! Yeah, I'm not sure where me and her stand - I know she wants to keep in touch on the one hand, but I think we also realise it's important to cut the ties properly this time, otherwise things can get messy and blurred again over time. That business sounds promising! It can give you a real boost as soon as you're over the grieving and depressed phase, to have to make a new start like that... I read this quote the other day "creativity requires the ability to let go of certainties" - And it's true - I think a relationship can feel like a security blanket sometimes - Can make you feel very content, a lot like what I used to rely on weed for, and to be honest I haven't really done much with myself for the last couple of years - Just sort of existed! Oh yeah, hehe, I mentioned the chemical thing myself - She's quite smart so she kind of knows this stuff anyway, but I don't think it was what she wanted to hear at the time! |
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lets all kill ourrselves and be done |
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I still wonder what moved her to call me last thursday night I mean, she knows that a call of hers can break all my mental balance right now, and if she knows that, it would have been responsible of her not to call me, but she did... so does that mean that she cant really forget me? or its just that she is selfish and doesnt really care how much that call can hurt me? I think she has loved me a lot, so that second chance is not really possible in my mind... I dont know... I havent lost faith in our relationship... and I know how dangerous that is, cos probably I will suffer a lot in the future when I finally realize that this is really over.... oh shit... this is not easy at all my deepest hope is that some day she will come back to me saying that she loves me, and saying sorry for having made me have such a hard time... I would so much accept that.... but I know that wont happen... now its like 99% that she wants to move on in her life... she wants to live a new life and she wants to find another man... maybe not right now... but sooner or later she will find one that she will love and then I will be forever past. so I must move on too, so that I can evolve and find another love too whenever the time comes, cos if I keep hang on her memories, I wont ever want to know another girl... and I will suffer a lot the day I know about her being with another man... I know I am talking shit now, but I need so much to talk about this... and I am a fraid I cannot abuse of my good old friends all the time, they have listened to this hundreds of times in the past 3 weeks.... I know this is a battle I have to win by myself... but right now I cant find the strenght |
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if you feel like it, do talk, it helps now its like 99% that she wants to move on in her life... she wants to live a new life and she wants to find another man... maybe not right now... but sooner or later she will find one that she will love and then I will be forever past. so I must move on too, so that I can evolve and find another love too whenever the time comes, cos if I keep hang on her memories, I wont ever want to know another girl... and I will suffer a lot the day I know about her being with another man... thats very true actually... |
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its true and I say it to myself all the time... but thats my logic part of the brain saying so... but my heart still resists and doesnt want to be logical which is a shit |
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in my eyes the only thing that heals your wounds is time. maybe you could see it this way, youve had a lot of good times too, but its over now. this hurts, but time goes on... |
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time... I know its all about time but right now... I dont want time to heal me... I sadly still believe that we were the perfect couple... I need to take that out of my heart and mind |
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not calamity, i meant! composed sorry |
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worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer.worry's a killer. |
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its so sad but im one of of the few naive adults that still believes in one love but its like santa claus uh.. |
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come on there r some nice azz girlies down here :) |
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aahhhh just like listening to myself now to be honest something pulled me out of that thing but i never really figured out what exactly it was cuz it was a coctail of little things that happened ive heard some info about her new relationship ive been fucked instantly than ive been told the fucking truth straight in my face by a friend (thanks timon) than i found some new job than accidentally i met a couple of kul girls in town, in a short period then i was given advice from another friend that if shes doing what shes doing now, and that a total ignore, shes not the right one, ond never was then i somehow realized that i have some much more important things in my life to do now wrote a couple of emails to her, when i felt really really terrible and finally, im free from that burden of feeling that uve lost the most important thing u had in yr life and it feels good to be neutral when reading this that way i know its healed and yes, ofcourse anything can happen if i meet her again at some point of my life...but im not waiting for it, thats the most important part.. it took me a year for that but now im a totally new and upgraded version of me to all the broken ones...build yrselves again, and become wiser and stronger, with the knowledge u gained! evolution! |
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i had a really strange and ultimately intense erotic intercourse with a totally unknown girl on a transmediale festival in berlin, when the bug act was on....it was really gloomy and steamy..and hot...and the bass was just flowing through our bodies...ahhh bug really kicks some serious bass there..its so hard it should be illegal i never even asked her for her name we didn even say to eachother one fuckin word shell always stay in my mind as "the girl from berlin" perfect! and yea bug kix! |
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and finally what nick drake album should i start with |
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That's really good to hear actually! I think I'm starting to realize that there's more important things I could be doing right now... Lots of living to be done before I think about settling down - I think that's why so many people get to 50 and realize they'd "settled" far too early. I thought it'd be easier to recommend a Nick Drake album to start with, but it's possibly the hardest question I've ever had to think about... Pink Moon is a good album to start with - But to be honest, each album has so many strong tracks, and they've each got their own character and style... Fire Leaves Left is excellent - Maybe Time of No Reply is my favorite!? Just too hard to pick one. |
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ditto! I guess you coudl start chronologically, so go with Five Leaves Left. He wrote it when he was only 20 when he was here at Cambridge. it went unoticed for years. The production is sweet as fuck without being cheesy or anything. I'm just praying for time to heal this shit up. I can;t wait to be able to trawl this thread up from the XLT archives in a few years and read it without welling up. Time has told me You came with the dawn A soul with no footprint A rose with no thorn. Nick Drake |
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reading this thread and posting in it helps me in some way |
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It is helping me too Nacco. It's shitty we are all goign through it at the same time by some freaky conincidence, but it is nice to know there is empathy out there too when all my mates are finding love or building their relationships. We are nice guys and we can't be kept down. |
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someday somebody.. some great girls will love us... and this will be just memories... and we will be happy that all went this way so that we could finally find our real love |
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