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 Now online (2)recycle Roger Wilco ...and 396 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614093 Today 6 Topics 127542 |
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Why couldn't the geometry teacher make it to class? Because they were trapezoided. |
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. |
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there was an englishman, australian, and an irishman on a construction site theyre having their lunch on the scaffolding - lunches their wives have made for them the englishman says 'im so tired of having jam sandwiches. if this happens one more time im going to jump to my death' the australian said 'me too, i get nothing but vegemite sandwiches. if this happens again tomorrow im going to leap into the unknown' the irishman says 'every day, without fail, i get fairy bread. im with you guys.' so the next day the 3 men open their lunch. the englishman has jam sandwiches. the australian has a vegemite sandwich. and the irishman has yet again, fairy bread. one by one they leap from the scaffolding the wives of the 3 men are called to the scene of the accident. the english lady says 'i wish i had have given him something other than jam sandwiches.' the australian lady agrees 'i feel so terrible.. i only ever fed my husband vegemite sandwiches :(' the irishmans wife says 'i dont understand it, my husband always made his own lunch' |
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what's the name of the mouse savior? Cheesus Micest |
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What's the name of the cuisine savior? Cheesus Riced I remember thinking that like 8 years ago, nostalgia cheesy jokes! |
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you're fired. |
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The irish are fighting the germans, when the irish commanding officer devises a tactic. To scream out a common german name. one soldier goes "hey Franz!!" a german pokes his head out of a trench "Ja?" BOOM! head clean off... they try it again... "hey franz!" "ja?" BOOM! After the German officer realized the Irish's upperhand tactic, they decide to try it aswell.. a german shouts.. "Hey Patrick!" ...... "Is that you Franz?" "Ja!" BOOM! |
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FOR K_MATY ONLY! |
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het is groen en het kleeft kermit het lijmpistool |
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Good to see Jacko dangling his kid off the balcony. Usually he just tosses them off!! :D |
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i was waiting for a good michael jackson :) |
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It's not really a joke, but you know those machines where you put pieces of trees into, then they go "bBBBRRAAAaaaaaAAAAAWWWWW" and dice them to pieces? Well someone suggested to play tug of war with one of those with a rope as a method of suicide in a suicide forum. I thought it was funny. |
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a horse said to some guy in the bar: "wake me up in the morning. i'm the green horse outside the bar." on the next day the horse met another horse on a bridge: "go back so i could cross the bridge." "why should I go back? why don't you?" "cause i'm green." "you're not green. you're brown." "damn! that fucker woke another horse!" |
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THIEF! |
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Hey, you know what ? Nothing. |
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What did the man with 2 left feet buy? Filp filps 2 Snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other "Can you smell carrots?" |
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A man walks backwards into a rab. |
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anyone knows the joke about the mummy its pretty long winded *badum tss* |
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Why didn;t the ghost go to the party? Cause he had no body to go with ! |
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scottsman walk into a bar. The Englisman goes "hey, ever hear the one about us?" |
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Two sperms are swimming really hard. One asks, "Are we almost at the uterus?" "Nah", says the other, "we just passed the tonsils." |
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Morton: What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? XLtronic crew: We don't know and we don't care. |
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A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar and the bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?" |
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zebra supports zeboobies |
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=/ - hey, you know what? ...me either. |
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Aah, racist jokes are the best aren't they? |
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Everybody's Irish, man |
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What's worse than Michael Jackson putting your son to bed? Ian Huntley giving your daughter a bath. |
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whats green and slimy and has a rubber in its mouth? a frog with a pencil up its arse |
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Knock, knock. |
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*opens the door* |
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haha now you ruined it! :) i think he wanted it to go like: "Who's there?" 'Mary...' "Mary who?" 'Merry Christmas!' ..or something |
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knock, knock. |
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who's there? |
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it's me, tolstoyed. |
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did i just ruin that again?? |
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tolstoyed who? |
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tolstoyed from Rome (Vatican City State (Holy See)). |
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tolstoyed of antartica... i left my penguins at home so dont worry...now can i enter please? |
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thats only a disguise |
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ive heard better :) |
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put on a christmas hat and you may enter |
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better what? im being honest here! :) |
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a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop |
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whats yellow and black and says 'ooh, cold!' ? a tiger who sat on an ice cube. tolstoyed-that dog in yr avatar, are those its ears or its legs? |
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Knock knock -Who's there? Interrupting Delusional Paranoid Hallucinations -Interrupting De- OH DEAR LORD WORMS ARE EATING MY EYEBALLS FROM THE INSIDE! |
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haha, yeah, its a dog with legs growing out of its head :) btw, i dont know if you make jokes about police in other countries, but they're quite popular here - cos the general opinion is policemans are stupid... anyway, here's a true story that happened to me two days ago. i was sitting in a police car waiting to get my ticket...and then this report came on the police radio: "please if any patrol is near the highway from ljubljana to koper go there as fast as possible cos there's a car driving on the wrong side of the road - its a fiat tipo...its a renault clio - then other policeman asks so there are two tipo and clio? - and that first guy answers no its only clio, sorry...and then again the other policeman asks where's that clio heading - and the first policeman says:" its driving from koper to ljubljana, in the opposite direction" hahahaha. i couldnt stop laughing, and that police officer writting me that ticket was like "jesus, we're stupid..." |
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policemans???= policemen |
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A bar walks into a rabbi. Just sayin.... |
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that was nice |
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