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 (nobody)...and 385 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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lies your parent/guardian told you as a child that have shaped the moderately disfunctional human being you are today.. dedicated to yzas, who claims that after he asked his mum what they were having for tea, she would always say "shit with sugar on" this is true. |
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life is scary. |
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thats not a parental lie? surely.. why, thats the truth. my mum once told me that i was eating chicken soup, though i was sure it was mushroom (which, due to my conservative childhood palette, i didnt like).. i was dubious, but she told me it was a new brand. so i finished the bowl. when i had drunk/eaten (what DO you do with soup) every last drop.. she looked right at me. i got this horrible feeling when she smiled & asked if it actually was chicken soup. she said no. fearing the answer, i asked if it was mushroom soup. she said yes. doesnt sound like much. but it was the first time i was aware that my mum had lied to me. it shattered my faith in her and humanity for a long time. in fact, as ive taken the time to recount this all here, it must still be affecting me now.. shit with sugar on. |
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Parent = a mother or father who sets up ones child to fail in life |
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It's worse when you repeat something you've been told and believed as true and you look like a dick for saying it :P |
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any examples? |
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hahaha |
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That a bit of wreckage on your local beach is from the titanic for example. Fortunately as you grow up, you discover these little lies they've told you, often before they've had a chance to trip you up. I know a girl whose elder brother told her she was a boy when she was six and she believed him for almost a year. |
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a dick, actually |
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correct. |
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acrid milk hall > i know this feeling... i hate it -_- when my mother, grandmother, or other adults would try to make me eat meat or chicken or any animal flesh saying it wasn't meat (i'm vegetarian)... and they did this to my younger brother too (who is vegetarian as well), they were giving him ham, telling him that it wasn't meat, or that it was "false ham", i KNEW they were lying to him and i was trying to say it to him when he was eating but my parents would go "shhh!!!"... and he would believe my parents, not me... of course... they were doing this thinking it was for our own good, i think. i hope so at least. but still. they were too narrow-minded, thinking that we couldn't live without eating meat, that we would have health problems, being vegetarians - my parents finally accepted it without too much difficulty but it was harder with our grandparents, they wouldn't accept it... they were too used to eat meat all the time... |
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its not a parental lie as such.. but i remember this thing which used to go round school when we were about ten years old. whenever a word was becoming really popular (ie. "wicked" "cool" etc), a source close to me would start a rumour that the word had an altogether different meaning. at one point "skill" was a really popular thing to say (usually in reference to a sporting feat on the football pitch or beating the end boss on mario or something) - but this didnt last long when people began pointing out that "skill was a bum disease".. it wasnt.. i dont think. the same thing happened with the word dude - which (allegedly) was another word for a camels dick. im sure there were others. but, you get the idea.. |
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yeah the "skill" is "african bum disease" thing was in our school too... "So, have you got skill?" "Erm, yes?" "Ha ha, you've got ABD..." |
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...and now, we might regret these "good old times", thinking of how absolutely great they were. ...and now, we might think we aren't lied to like that anymore. |
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basicly my mom told me everything in life is dangerous. well not evretything but a lot of things and that has affected me a little bit but I have managed to get over it the last years. |
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what a load of horsecrap |
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we might.. |
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Grandparents can go bad too!! My grandad told me once while I helped him weed the garden that "nettles dont sting in spring" (or similar), I proceeded to yank that mother from between a couple of dandelions, much to the amusement of my grandad! Then came the crying & running, I ran to my nan & told her of the evil trickery that had been brought upon me by my grandad, she gave him some shit as she tended to my hand with a dock leaf (good ol' nan) I remember being really hurt by the thought that my own grandad could do something so evil to me, I sit back & laugh heartily about it these days. THE END |
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Ahaha, I remember that african bum disease thing, it was "ACE" at my primary school tho 8D |
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do you remember being told that doc leaves would ease nettle stings? scientific proof or not - it never fucking worked for me. and there was the added disadvantage that doc leaves (being low to the ground) are probably covered in dog/cat piss. ACE? what did ACE stand for? i seem to recall we had ABC one time - African Bum Cleaner.. but that was a different primary school joke. |
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I wondered about the doc leaves aswell, but that would mean that my Nan was also taking the piss lol......... that seems rather sinister when I think about it like that, like my life is a sick & twisted version of the Truman show & everyone was just acting as my family/friends......... I don't believe it, it cannot be.......... *vomits*................*falls unconscious* |
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i think the doc leaves myth is a parental form of revenge for all the times we ignored advice such as: - if you pull that face & the wind changes, it'll stick. and - dont watch the tv too close or your eyes will go square. one step ahead of their innocent children, parents tell another lie - only this time, they dress it up as helpful advice rather than a facistic attempt to control the child. confident in their belief that a child will ignore a command but take (seemingly) helpful advice, the sadistic parent takes great delight in watching their progeny ineffectually rubbing leaves into their red-raw burning nettle-stung legs from afar.. through binoculars.. perhaps |
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am i the only one that feels that raimon's contribution was a bit deep for this thread? didnt make me want to delve any further into what he was talking about. it would have felt like disturbing a hornet's nest of dark nostalgia.. |
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I used to think the same thing..... but I had a touch of OCD...... still do, but i've kinda grown out of it |
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my parents always told me things like if you pull a face it will stay like that, and watching tv gives you square eyes, and i soon caught on to the fact they were lying. Then they told me that if i looked directly into the sun i would go blind and of cource i thought it was just another lie. Today i take out my eyes and put them in a glass of water next to my bed at night. Always beleive what your parents tell you. |
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reminds me of the film, pi.. protagonist keeps using looking at the sun as a child in his voice over as an analogy for whats going on. doesn't he? its been a while since ive seen it. |
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my dad once told me that the reflectors on the middle and sides of roads were real cat's eyes. He told me that every night they would come out of their houses and enter secret underground tunnels that lined the length of the roads. There they would take up their positions and stare at the traffic until daytime. I spent days trying to find these tunnels, until I found a raw sewage outlet, but no cats :( Man, I was one stupid kid :) |
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my mom told me that there was a tomato man who walked around the streets and his body parts fell off, and that's why ther was tomatoes all over my street... and if i was good he'd leave candy canes on my window sill... this was in summer. |
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lol, so why were there really tomatoes all over the street? |
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the tomato man you idiot!!! didn't you just read my story?! |
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holy shit! the tomato man is real? is he dangerous? |
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nahh, i don't think so... unless you're allergic to tomatoes... then yah! |
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i once bit into a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, not realising how hot it was. the tomato seeds squirted out, burning the skin off my chin. i burnt the inside of my mouth too. i hated that sandwich. love the catseyes story though.. |
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ouch, sounds painfull :( Does anyone remember poptarts? they could give some nasty burns. |
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yes i managed to escape injury free from those. but there was one close call. i knew someone who really liked them.. especially untoasted. |
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The doc leaves thing is true true. Dunno which but either nettles or doc leaves are acid and the other is alkali and they neutralise each other.:) I burnt my mouth on a pop tart. A chocolate one. |
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my parents told me when i was like 3 that the pot plants they were growing in the basement under fluorescent lights were tomato plants. it was a time-release lie. then when i was like 20 i asked them about the pot plants and they lied again, saying they were growing them for SOMEONE ELSE. idiots. |
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thanks for the scientific explanation svalx.. perhaps i was picking the wrong leaves all along. ive never been much of a botanist. dont worry too much about the pop tart, youre not alone. i remember some kid at school burnt his mouth on a pop tart the day he had to make a presentation to the class. it made him pronounce everything in a very strange way.. probably because his palette was one big blister. needless to say no one actually listened to what he said, everybody was too busy laughing. im sure my parents told me a time-release lie too crocomire.. i'll try & remember it for next time. |
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my mom told me that i had an erection because my peepee was filled with pee. When i wasn't able to go pee i thought there was something wrong and that the pee was stuck in there somehow. peepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepee |
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moving swiftly on.. |
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I remember being told not to sleep in the car with my head against the window or I'll throw up... I don't know how true that is but it's kept me from doing it ever since. |
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This is crazy. My parents, too. My Mom used to say she was going to take her head off if I didn't go to bed. Must be the babyboom generation. Or toying with complete innocence. Like telling an Alzheimer's patient the same joke 10 times in a row. |
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This thread takes me back to the days of "show & tell" 8D |
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my ex-gf convinced me that i could not pronounce the letter 'r'. with the help of a few friends she kept this going for six. fucking. months. |
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i fucking hate pop tarts! |
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smores poptarts are the greatest! |
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There is a mountain near my city that has a big letter P on the side of it, fashioned from rocks. My father always told me, while driving by, that he was the one who put it there, for me, my first name starting with a P. I realized later that the mountain is called Palomar Mountain, and it would be an impossibility for dad to make the formation, because my father was a heroin addict at that time and probably had no energy or motivation to make something as such. |
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no you're the greatest |
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a kid once told me that santa doesn't exist,... but I know he's lying, my mommy told me that he exists,.. and she is more trustworthy than a little street kid. |
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i can see why she's your ex. that was a pretty sadistic lie.. and to keep it going for six months?! |
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