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zero-cool
on 2004-02-21 21:21 [#01083778]
Points: 2720 Status: Lurker
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what do aboriginal's get for christmas
your bike
what do you call an aboriginal with dandraf
lamington
what do you call an aboriginal with astick up it's ass
choc wedge
BAM
sorry i heard them around
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horsefactory
from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2004-02-21 21:32 [#01083782]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular
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knobcheese walks into a bar and dies in excrutiating pain over a peroid of 7 hours.
Ha ha ha ha
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zero-cool
on 2004-02-22 02:13 [#01083873]
Points: 2720 Status: Lurker
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what doe's a real aphagan girl look like a pretty cute baby click here
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tibbar
from harrisburg, pa (United States) on 2004-02-22 02:21 [#01083879]
Points: 10513 Status: Lurker
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what did the priest say to the donkey at christmas?
put another mule log on the fire.
hyuck hyuck *drum roll, rim shot*
but seriously folks...
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billcosbydance
on 2004-02-22 04:42 [#01083984]
Points: 59 Status: Regular
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surely they should hate you, its their country....nooch
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oxygenfad
from www.oxygenfad.com (Canada) on 2004-08-30 00:51 [#01317812]
Points: 4442 Status: Regular
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I love this thread I am very sorry : )
BUMP!
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happy cycling
from berlin on 2004-08-30 02:43 [#01317831]
Points: 2786 Status: Regular
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two apples are sitting in the oven,
the first apple sighs and says, "is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
and the second apples goes, "holy shit, a talking apple!!!"
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Gwely Mernans
from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2004-08-30 03:04 [#01317842]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker
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one guy says to the other "hey you know that elementary school by my place?"
the other guy says "yeah.."
"well i saved this little girl from getting raped the other day"
"really? thats good!"
"yyyeah... changed my mind"
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DJ Xammax
from not America on 2004-08-30 07:38 [#01318057]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker | Followup to billcosbydance: #01083984
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Heh.
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mrgypsum
on 2004-08-30 10:55 [#01318236]
Points: 5103 Status: Lurker
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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
an erection, sort like on already on here but a little diff
How do you get a nun pregnant?
you fuck her.
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nurse
from a darkness more than night (Finland) on 2004-08-30 11:58 [#01318282]
Points: 242 Status: Lurker
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how do u know your sister has begun menstruating?
your dads penis tastes like blood!
this is propably the sickest joke ever, but quite clever!
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nurse
from a darkness more than night (Finland) on 2004-08-30 12:00 [#01318285]
Points: 242 Status: Lurker
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how do u get a nun pregnant?
dress her up as a choirboy!
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2004-08-30 12:11 [#01318293]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular
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classy
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DJ Xammax
from not America on 2004-08-30 12:21 [#01318300]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker
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How do you tell a good joke?
Make it funny. And don't bother with ones we've all heard, it makes you look foolish. In fact unless you're naturally funny don't tell jokes at all.
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Mertens
from Motor City (United States) on 2004-08-30 12:36 [#01318307]
Points: 2064 Status: Lurker
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A recently married couple check into a hotel on a tropical island on their honeymoon. As the wife gets on the elevator a man in the loby notices that the husband is pacing back and forth looking very nervous. "What seems to be the problem?", asks the man. "My wife and I decided to wait until marriage for sex to make it special" the huband said. "But I never told her that I'm a virgin. I'm afraid that I can't satisfy her!". The man paused in thought for a moment then said, "I can solve your problem. But it'll cost ya 100 bucks AND you have to do EXACTLY as I say." The husband agreed and they both went to the honeymoon suite.
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Mertens
from Motor City (United States) on 2004-08-30 12:41 [#01318314]
Points: 2064 Status: Lurker
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Aw fuck, I forgot the rest of the joke!
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oxygenfad
from www.oxygenfad.com (Canada) on 2007-06-19 19:15 [#02095319]
Points: 4442 Status: Regular
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Classic thread :D
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roygbivcore
from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2007-06-20 01:45 [#02095410]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker
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what do you get when you cross sir elton john with a sabre tooth tiger?
i dont know but you better keep it away from your ass
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-06-20 02:32 [#02095414]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular
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what has a trunk, branches and a whole lot of leaves?
A tree.
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FlyAgaric
from the discovery (Africa) on 2007-06-20 04:17 [#02095422]
Points: 5776 Status: Regular
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What's white and blue and sits in a tree?
A refrigerator with jeans on.
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Zephyr Twin
from ΔΔΔ on 2007-06-20 12:08 [#02095508]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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FAV+ Thread.
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earthleakage
from tell the world you're winning on 2007-06-20 12:15 [#02095513]
Points: 27795 Status: Regular
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how do u get 5 comedians in a mini?
2 in the front 2 in the back and bernard manning in the ashtray
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2007-06-20 12:20 [#02095514]
Points: 24589 Status: Lurker | Followup to earthleakage: #02095513
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hehe! Contemporary!
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Zephyr Twin
from ΔΔΔ on 2007-06-20 12:52 [#02095520]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Followup to earthleakage: #02095513 | Show recordbag
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Haha! Nice one.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2007-06-20 13:04 [#02095523]
Points: 24589 Status: Lurker | Followup to Zephyr Twin: #02095520
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Congs on your Emboldened status and the addition of your RecordBag!
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2007-06-20 14:34 [#02095536]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
the aristocrats
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:32 [#02095543]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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How do elephants hide in cherry trees? The paint their balls red and climb.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherrys.
Pure pish.
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:32 [#02095544]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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Why do elephants drink? To forget.
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:33 [#02095545]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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What's green and melts in the mouth? A lepers penis.
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:34 [#02095546]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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What's grey and sits beside your bed taking the piss? A kidney dialysis machine.
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:35 [#02095547]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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When does Michael Jackson know when it's time to go to bed? When the big hand touches the little hand.
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:38 [#02095549]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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Adam and Joe's favourite made up xmas cracker joke:
What's the difference between a chicken? One of it's legs are both the same.
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NewSkoolScience
from Outer Bongolia on 2007-06-20 15:49 [#02095556]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker
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What do you call a no-legged whore running through a field of strawberries?
Jammy c*nt.
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Zephyr Twin
from ΔΔΔ on 2007-06-20 16:30 [#02095573]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #02095523 | Show recordbag
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Why, thank you, sir. It's actually my 2nd or 3rd time (not sure which) donating, but since I've been spending more time around here than usual, I figured it was only fair to contribute again. :)
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2007-06-20 16:38 [#02095574]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to NewSkoolScience: #02095556
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how does a no legged whore run?
this is not a joke, i'm asking because your joke sux.
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Zephyr Twin
from ΔΔΔ on 2007-06-20 17:09 [#02095589]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Followup to evolume: #02095574 | Show recordbag
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haha the jammy cunt one was no good, but did you see the leper dick one? that one made me wtf/lol.
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dogvomit
from Cotttage Cheese on 2007-06-20 20:03 [#02095630]
Points: 199 Status: Addict
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wMw, lol, once he said something about Zorg and maybe his penis.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-06-20 20:08 [#02095632]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular
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Q: What does dog belch do when he's on his computer making a track and someone comes along and rips a big fart right next to him? A: Feels creatively jealous.
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Ganymede
from Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius on 2007-06-20 20:26 [#02095635]
Points: 1045 Status: Lurker
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What did the redneck girl say after losing her virginity at age 12?
"Git off me Pa, yer crushin my smokes!"
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Ganymede
from Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius on 2007-06-20 20:31 [#02095636]
Points: 1045 Status: Lurker
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What did the redneck girl say after losing her virginity at age 12?
"Git off me Pa, yer crushin my smokes!"
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-06-20 20:36 [#02095637]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular | Followup to Ganymede: #02095636
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That one grows on you.
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Aktium
from cleveland (United States) on 2007-06-20 20:45 [#02095639]
Points: 1128 Status: Lurker
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q: what do you call 6 black people hanging from a tree?
a: Alabama wind chimes.
(im not racist buts thats all i could think of at the moment)
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Aktium
from cleveland (United States) on 2007-06-20 21:04 [#02095641]
Points: 1128 Status: Lurker
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q: whats the worst thing to yell out when you lock your keys in your car in front of a bunch of protesters at an abortion clinic?
a: hey! does anyone have a hanger
q: how do you make a clown to stop smiling?
a: hit him in the face with an axe
q: what is worse then a dead baby in a garbage can?
a: a dead baby in 10 garbage cans
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HEHEHE
from serious beers (Sweden) on 2007-06-21 06:01 [#02095723]
Points: 336 Status: Addict
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what the beat ?
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2007-06-21 08:05 [#02095783]
Points: 24589 Status: Lurker
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I've noted that many of the jokes in this category fall into the following categories:
a) Racist (usually prefaced by a 'I'm not racist but...')
b) Misogynistic
c) Lazy 'non-jokes' / nonsensical - like pale imitations of Zen Koans almost
Saying that, a lot of the jokes in this thread are funny, and most of them have nice avatars too! ho,
ho,
ho.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2007-06-21 11:48 [#02095824]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #02095783
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i'm not racist but:
Q what do you get when you cross a oriental midget and a black mexican whitey cracker driving a lowrider and putting on lipstick in the mirror because she's oriental partly and also a woman who is so bad at driving that her seatbelt is hanging out and clanking on the ground because it is a lowrider and probably a honda?
A. she's a mutt half breed and probably has a sideways vagina. someone should cut her up and put her in 10 dumpsters at the abortion clinic and then feed some fried chicken to the mouth section and a watermelon flavour agua fresca.
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Aktium
from cleveland (United States) on 2007-06-21 20:57 [#02096004]
Points: 1128 Status: Lurker
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oh wait...i am racist i didn't know what that word meant.
hahahha..j/k
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zoomancer
from Kabul (Afghanistan) on 2007-06-21 23:49 [#02096024]
Points: 1215 Status: Regular
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A bar walks into a chicken...
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roygbivcore
from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2007-06-22 19:36 [#02096332]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker
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so this girl needs a prom dress she asks her dad can i have the money for a prom dress
and he says i'll buy you a prom dress if you suck my dick
so she's sucking his dick and she says DAD your dick tastes like shit
and he says
i know your brother needed a tux
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hexane
on 2007-07-01 06:53 [#02098893]
Points: 2035 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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what does a 9 volt battery and your lover's asshole have in common?
you know it's wrong, but you're bound to give it a little taste every once in a while
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