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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 02:54 [#00827561]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker
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she was my best friend 3 years ago(lets call her helen) (she had been my best friend for the last 6 years at that time)... after that I found my girlfriend whith whom I ve been 3 years, and helen was a little jealous, better said, very jealous, so she didnt like my girlfriend, so with time we each month saw eachother less and less... so she was very angry at me cos we where loosing our friendship (and in her point of view it was my fault)... so last month she came to me and gave me the invitation card for her wedding, but she said: -I give it to you but you dont deserve it- so I tried not to be mad at that comment and just said thanks for the invitation, but she kind of wanted more and said she was inviting me just for compromise, not because she really wanted, so I was getting a little angry, but I tried not to let it show, I didnt want that to end up in a fight... so I told her joking that I was sure that she did it from the heart and not for compromise as she was saying... but she went on with the "attack" and she asked me for confirmation, and I of course said she would have my confirmation really soon, as soon as I had talked about it with my girlfriend, but she said - NO, I want your confirmation right now - and she begun saying she couldnt believe that I had to "talk about it" that all her other friends had confirmed thair assistance imediately and that she couldnt believe that I was doubting... so I couldnt resist that situation anymore and I broke the fucking invitation card in front of her as I said: -there we go, no more fucking compromise-
then, I just left without saying anymore
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-08-19 02:58 [#00827563]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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Good one... do you think you will rregrret it though?
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 03:02 [#00827564]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00827563
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that night i sent her a message (cell phone) saying I was sorry for the reaction, but I havent got any answer
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-08-19 03:04 [#00827566]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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Haha, oh well, I'm surre if she is rreal frriend you will sorrt it out. (in time)
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od_step_cloak
from Pleth (Australia) on 2003-08-19 03:08 [#00827567]
Points: 3803 Status: Regular
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nah man fuck it you've done the right thing - well, if your story is 100% unbiased then you have (you know how they say you don't know the story until you've heard both sides).
Fuck it, man I'm with ya.
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2003-08-19 03:10 [#00827568]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular
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thats the right thing to do nacho...
if shes pissed because you love someone else.. thats her problem
a bit harsh to tear it apart in front of her nose tho :P
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-08-19 03:10 [#00827569]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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Yeah but frriendships arre trricky, you can't blame herr forr feeling left out (even if it's not yourr 'fault' nacmat, and i'm not saying it is), people put alot of time and efforrt into them, they last when rrelationships come and go. Trry not to be too harrd on herr, unless she is a total bitch.
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Quernstone
from Padova (Italy) on 2003-08-19 03:21 [#00827583]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular
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She probably saw this as a time for sorting out the division that had been created over her jealousy and you then went and threw it back in her face. Harsh treatment indeed.
To be honest Naccy i think you might have blown your chances of getting things back to normal. These last few years have seen similar situations in my life. They suck badly but we live with the consequences of our actions.
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glass_eater
from a blind nerves area (Switzerland) on 2003-08-19 03:22 [#00827585]
Points: 4904 Status: Regular
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ahahah good one some girls never stop their paranoid activities to destruct hearts and souls
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Phobiazero
from the next Xltronic (Sweden) on 2003-08-19 03:22 [#00827587]
Points: 10507 Status: Webmaster | Followup to nacmat: #00827564 | Show recordbag
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you did the right thing, apart from sending her the SMS. :)
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-08-19 03:23 [#00827588]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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We don't know herr...
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glass_eater
from a blind nerves area (Switzerland) on 2003-08-19 03:25 [#00827592]
Points: 4904 Status: Regular
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yes the sms was a little apologize stuff we all do when we think we get the wrong side..but you were just right....
look forward for the divorce ;)
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glass_eater
from a blind nerves area (Switzerland) on 2003-08-19 03:26 [#00827593]
Points: 4904 Status: Regular
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i feel like i always knew her
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-08-19 03:28 [#00827594]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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The SMS did show lack of conviction and now she can use the fact that you feel bad about it against you.
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Peloton
from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-08-19 03:38 [#00827609]
Points: 651 Status: Lurker
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You should've nutted her on the bridge of the nose. Coupla' black eyes would've looked good in her wedding photos.
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supreme
from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2003-08-19 03:40 [#00827610]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular
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I'd do exactly the same thing. and I'd regret it just as much as you do.
Don't start thinking of her as 'a bitch' it won't make her come back(if you still want that) and it won't make you feel better.
...
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merg
from The New New York (Berlin) (Germany) on 2003-08-19 03:41 [#00827611]
Points: 1708 Status: Regular | Followup to Peloton: #00827609
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LMAO!
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 04:02 [#00827621]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker
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explanation:
1. she was not an ex girlfriend, she was a just friend, but a very possesive one
2. I know its better to know both sides of the story, but that will be impossible, she loves britney spears, so she wont come here. but seriously, I know I have my part to blame for this last 3 years, maybe I could have been a closer friend, but I am also saying she is also to be blamed for her jealosness and being so possesive with me. god she was far more possesive than my real girlfriend (I love you lourdes)
3. I am not proud of what I did, thats why I apologized, but she was tighting the situation... my patience was streched to the limiyts and I exploded breaking the card.
4. this last 3 years any time I saw her she was always telling me how bad was I doing things... she never wanted to just have a nice time, she was always with a serious face and waiting for her time to tell me how a bad friend I was
5. but its tru, this is just my part of the story
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 04:02 [#00827622]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to Peloton: #00827609
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lol.... crazy
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 04:04 [#00827624]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to Quernstone: #00827583
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she was not trying to sort out the division that had been created over her jealousy... she was as always trying to give me a lesson on how good she was and how bad friend I was
its been like that so many times...
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2003-08-19 04:07 [#00827628]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular | Followup to nacmat: #00827624
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well then... tell her to fuck herself
doenst sound like a nice friend at all
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hobbes
from age on 2003-08-19 04:11 [#00827635]
Points: 8168 Status: Lurker
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i missed both my brothers wedding.....and i do kind of regret not having been there......
i would have thought now you both are "taken" it would have been easier for her....oh well.
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supreme
from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2003-08-19 04:18 [#00827646]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular
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I recognise your situation a bit, nac. Jealousy can change people from white to black in a few minutes.
It brings up the most ugly part of someone and that's sad. I saw it happening with my friend the past few weeks and it makes me sick.
Sometimes I really want and I really try to talk about it with him, but most of the time I can't be bothered, cos I get nothing in return. not a single usefull answer.
Jealousy is an obsession and there's not much you can do about it.
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jonesy
from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2003-08-19 04:40 [#00827650]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker
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Nacmat, this girl has obviously loved you from day one. The only way things could be patched up is if you form a sexual relationship with her. But until that day she will continue to think of you while she is making love to her husband.
Don't feel bad. Nothing you could have said or done would have changed anything. Only if you reciprocate her love will you be on good terms.
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 04:49 [#00827660]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to jonesy: #00827650
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I know that.
she loved me since we first met in 1994
but she told me several times while she was already with her future husband and I just could tell her that I didnt feel the same, cos I hav enever felt anyother thing but friendship...
while I was single she could handle it, but once I knew my girlfriend (3 years now) she couldnt estand it
I am sorry for her, cos she is getting married with a nice boy but out of the 8 yeares she s been with him most of that time she liked me (not my opinion, she told me)
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glass_eater
from a blind nerves area (Switzerland) on 2003-08-19 04:55 [#00827663]
Points: 4904 Status: Regular
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i know that, im not with my soul mate coz shes with one of my good friend, and shes scared about what she feels...
yeah girls are strange creatures
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hobbes
from age on 2003-08-19 04:57 [#00827664]
Points: 8168 Status: Lurker
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awight glass_eater? still up for a drink one of these days?
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Refund
from Melbourne (Australia) on 2003-08-19 05:14 [#00827673]
Points: 7824 Status: Lurker | Followup to nacmat: #00827561
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I'm on your side nacmat, I think your reactions were not only human, but heroic too, takes a lot of courage to stand up for what you think is right when you're dealing with tricky situations like this.
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merg
from The New New York (Berlin) (Germany) on 2003-08-19 05:15 [#00827675]
Points: 1708 Status: Regular | Followup to nacmat: #00827660
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Woooohhhh! If I were you I'd tell him...if you're brave enough...he'll thank you for it one day...
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 05:18 [#00827677]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to merg: #00827675
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do you think thats my business?
I dont think so
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glass_eater
from a blind nerves area (Switzerland) on 2003-08-19 05:23 [#00827682]
Points: 4904 Status: Regular
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hey hobbes ! yes maybe when id find pieces of my brain ill let ya know i still have your adress :)
merg is right, thats what i did, i told my friend her girl was a bitch but it didnt change a thing, the guy is a freaking zombi
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BlatantEcho
from All over (United States) on 2003-08-19 08:50 [#00827955]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker
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you did go, apart from trying to contact her again.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-08-19 08:55 [#00827960]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular
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I think you handeled the sutation very well naccy. Again and again you surprise me by being so friendly to people, and acting like the greatest guy in the whole world.
your girlfriend must be the luckiest girl alive.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-08-19 08:58 [#00827961]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to Key_Secret: #00827960
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oh I missed the SMS part... I guess it didn't change things, but I have to agree with the others and say perhaps you shouldn't have sent it... If it would change things, it would be one thing, but from your story I have a hard time thinking it will.
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pomme de terre
from obscure body in the SK System on 2003-08-19 09:08 [#00827966]
Points: 11941 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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that is awesome nacmat.
i bet it looked like a scene in a movie. two really good looking spanish people, romantic tension, a broken wedding invitation..
i wish i could have been there.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-08-19 09:09 [#00827967]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to pomme de terre: #00827966
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metroid! (?)
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pomme de terre
from obscure body in the SK System on 2003-08-19 09:11 [#00827968]
Points: 11941 Status: Moderator | Followup to Key_Secret: #00827967 | Show recordbag
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oui
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-08-19 09:12 [#00827970]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to pomme de terre: #00827968
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I feel like shooting some missiles on it...
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atgmartin
from DeathMallMegaComplexville (United States) on 2003-08-19 09:20 [#00827976]
Points: 873 Status: Lurker
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I think that one can only take so much from another before doing something drastic or at least dramatic. I applaud your direct approach. It left no ambiguity about how you really felt. I had a friend that I met through other friends. When these other friends moved away earlier this year, this friend had been acting very bossy and self-rightous. I wanted no part of it so I simply stopped contacting him. I have since heard that he has been very lonely and depressed and gained a ton of weight. I feel partly responsible for the way this has turned out, since this guy has few other friends. I could have taken your approach and let him know how he was acting, rather than waiting until I hear he killed himself out of despair. (Which hasn't happened, but it's not unrealistic.)
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Zeus
from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-08-19 09:43 [#00827985]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker
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harsh nacmat, harsh...
:-\
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cuntychuck
from Copenhagen (Denmark) on 2003-08-19 09:45 [#00827986]
Points: 8603 Status: Lurker
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hahaha this is really great, eat that beeyatch!
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Jarworski
from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-08-19 09:47 [#00827987]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker | Followup to Zeus: #00827985
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Oh for god's sake...
Well done Nacmat, I'm suprised you kept your cool for so long.
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Zeus
from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-08-19 09:53 [#00827990]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker | Followup to Jarworski: #00827987
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dude, ripping up a wedding invitation in front of some one, friend or not... thats a pretty big "fuck you"
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cuntychuck
from Copenhagen (Denmark) on 2003-08-19 09:56 [#00827992]
Points: 8603 Status: Lurker | Followup to Zeus: #00827990
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i say kill.
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The_Funkmaster
from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-08-19 10:09 [#00828003]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker
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yeah, seems you were right to cut things off... with me, even if I'm totally right, I still always feel bad cutting off relationships... I always feel like I should've tried harder you know, I find it hard to just accept that things didn't work... guess it's good to have a heart and conscience like that, but it's definitely a pain in the ass also...
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nacmat
on 2003-08-19 11:08 [#00828049]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to Key_Secret: #00827961
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well what I dont like about sending the sms is that she didnt answer it, so now I think I shouldnt have sent it, but in the moment I was feeling I had to send it.
about having acted good or bad: I dont think I acted too good, but I also think it was difficult not to act harsh there... my girlfriend says I could have just given her back the invitation instead of breaking it... she is right I think, but I repeat: in that moment I was a bit altered.
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