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masturbation prevents cancer, hurray
 

offline herbwest from Seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 17:52 [#00782384]
Points: 418 Status: Lurker



http://news.yahoo.com/fc?tmpl=fc&cid=34&in=health&cat=prost
ate_cancer

ahem......i knew it all along...uh.....yeah....

now please excuse me for a few minutes.....


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 17:52 [#00782385]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



o good news


 

offline corrupted-girl on 2003-07-16 17:54 [#00782386]
Points: 8469 Status: Regular



Oh I thought it did the opposite. Now I can finally get off!


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2003-07-16 17:56 [#00782389]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



oh man

that means everytime i jerk off it's full of carcynogins?

what the fuck, america?


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:17 [#00782403]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular



I'm safe then


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:18 [#00782404]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to corrupted-girl: #00782386



been holding yer horses for quite some time ey? well, get
flickering, you.

am I a pig or what


 

offline corrupted-girl on 2003-07-16 18:21 [#00782409]
Points: 8469 Status: Regular



flickering? mauhahaHAAHAHA!!!!


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:23 [#00782413]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to corrupted-girl: #00782409



I'm quite the romantic; I'm sure you can tell.


 

offline corrupted-girl on 2003-07-16 18:24 [#00782415]
Points: 8469 Status: Regular



ohh forsure.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 18:24 [#00782416]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to corrupted-girl: #00782386



put it on the web


 

offline corrupted-girl on 2003-07-16 18:24 [#00782420]
Points: 8469 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782416



what? flickering?


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:25 [#00782421]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782416



perv


 

offline Oddioblender from Fort Worth, TX (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:25 [#00782422]
Points: 9601 Status: Lurker



well that's a relief to know.

at least there's one enjoyable thing americans can do that
doesn't cause cancer. one down, a billion more to go!

i.e. sunbathing smoking drinking etc etc etc


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:27 [#00782425]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker



But wouldn't it also be true that sex does the same thing?
You just aren't using your hand. Right?


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 18:27 [#00782428]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to nlogax: #00782421



hey man, it's naturral


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:28 [#00782429]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to weatheredstoner: #00782425



don't get all complicated and stuff, man


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:28 [#00782430]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



i think it also deters aging. people always say i look so
young.


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:28 [#00782431]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782428



to masturbate, or to view girls flickering their knob on the
web :)

I agree to both, myself


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 18:29 [#00782433]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to nlogax: #00782431



both


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2003-07-16 18:29 [#00782434]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to weatheredstoner: #00782425



do you hold your hands in the air like a goalkeeper when
you're making sweet love weatherdstoner?


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:30 [#00782437]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



squeeky linky


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:32 [#00782438]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



"Men have many ways of using their prostate which don't
involve women or other men,"


a direct quote from the article.


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:33 [#00782439]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782433



wow! you must be me, in a parallel dimension.


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:33 [#00782440]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to evolume: #00782438



i can only come up with one way. but BOY WHAT A WAY!


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-07-16 18:34 [#00782442]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular | Followup to evolume: #00782440



that's a dead-end street, b0y


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2003-07-16 18:36 [#00782445]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



This is really great news! I'm delighted! I don't go out in
the sun, I don't drink or smoke, I jack off with regularity,
I eat lots of apples, I don't listen to pop music, I don't
chew tobacco... I'm so on a roll.


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2003-07-16 18:39 [#00782450]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



you know what i'm sayin?


 

offline kochlear from aud-stim.com on 2003-07-16 18:41 [#00782453]
Points: 2311 Status: Addict



i am the healthiest person on earth.

well, except for the open flesh wounds on my penis...but i
won't get cancer.


 

offline nacmat on 2003-07-16 18:43 [#00782455]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker



if that was true, not a single man would die of cancer...
cos we all masturbate daily


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 18:47 [#00782462]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to nlogax: #00782439



haha i must be


 

offline kochlear from aud-stim.com on 2003-07-16 18:50 [#00782464]
Points: 2311 Status: Addict



or MAYBE....old people die of cancer because they can't get
it up anymore.

it makes sense....right?


 

offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2003-07-16 18:50 [#00782465]
Points: 12428 Status: Regular



But masturbation only prevents prostate cancer, and cancer
can come in all sorts of flavours, you know..


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:51 [#00782467]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



well, statistically, men who admit to masturbating
regularly are less likely to die of cancer.

so maybe it's lying about masturbation that causes cancer.


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2003-07-16 18:53 [#00782469]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to evolume: #00782467



again.. 87% of statistics are complete nonsense.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 18:54 [#00782471]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



i don't carre.
it feels good.


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2003-07-16 18:57 [#00782473]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782471



How long does it take Anus? Have you got it off to a fine
art or do you struggle for half an hour or so?


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 18:59 [#00782475]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to JivverDicker: #00782473



come i can't answerr that...

come on, i need to know if you mean with orr without porrn,
how long since the last time etc...


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-16 18:59 [#00782476]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



so really it's a trade-off:
prostate cancer or blindness and furry palms...


 

offline aquagak from Berlin (Germany) on 2003-07-16 19:00 [#00782477]
Points: 4397 Status: Regular



oh man, i was watching the late night news yesterday next to
my big sister and what do you think comes on, a segment
about this masturbation shit. the whole room went silent and
i felt like dying.


 

offline Oddioblender from Fort Worth, TX (United States) on 2003-07-16 19:02 [#00782478]
Points: 9601 Status: Lurker



here's the true question: is this post going to influence
anyone's masturbation time whatsoever? elllllllll
nnooooooooooooooooooooo.

if there's a sure thing that over-masturbation will do you
for you in the long run, it's give you a sore penis and/or
vagina.


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2003-07-16 19:02 [#00782480]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782475



let's say there's your favourite porn film playing, the
tape/dvd starts going wrong, you shuffle over like a penguin
to sort it out with your pants round your
ankles.....right...GO! there's a knock at the door as
well...



 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2003-07-16 19:03 [#00782481]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



you've got to twist your wrist while you're doing it


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 19:04 [#00782482]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



it's my fav porrno. so i've seen it a few times, mixed with
the knock at the doorr, they could walk in.

it could be a while


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2003-07-16 19:05 [#00782483]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00782482



ho ho!


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-16 19:05 [#00782484]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



o it's going wrrong.

well i'm fucking doomed


 

offline ecnadniarb on 2003-07-16 19:06 [#00782485]
Points: 24805 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



So now a generation of girls will start to believe they can
get cancer by swallowing man juice...


 

offline earthleakage from tell the world you're winning on 2003-07-16 19:10 [#00782491]
Points: 27795 Status: Regular | Followup to ecnadniarb: #00782485



yeah ill have to cut down


 

offline ecnadniarb on 2003-07-16 19:12 [#00782493]
Points: 24805 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



I have possibly given four girls cancer in the last year :(

This is on top of HIV.

Oh well, I suppose I will burn in hell


 

offline xceque on 2003-07-16 19:12 [#00782494]
Points: 5888 Status: Moderator | Followup to ecnadniarb: #00782485 | Show recordbag



heheheh, these scientists know what they're doing...


 

offline earthleakage from tell the world you're winning on 2003-07-16 19:13 [#00782495]
Points: 27795 Status: Regular | Followup to ecnadniarb: #00782493



and 3 blokes


 


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