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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-15 04:40 [#00699025]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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.. or fuckers at the theatre with sweet wrappers. It never fails to amaze me how these cunts with their phones have the balls to let em ring. The sad irony is that if you start shhssing them you are yourself making noise too so ya sit there all squirmed up imagining how your´re really gonna fuck em up!
Whats the best way of dealing with these gits without disturbing other people? Some sort of minitaure high-power microwave device would be nice...
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Phresch
from fucking Trondheim (Norway) on 2003-05-15 04:51 [#00699030]
Points: 9989 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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phones/sweets/popcorn/teens are the worst. i don't really get why they have to talk, why don't they just go to a coffeebar and talk shit all day long there. NOOOo, they have to buy a 9 $ ticket, sit in the back row and giggle and just be annoying throughout the whole goddamn movie. fuck 'em.
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grm
from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-15 04:53 [#00699032]
Points: 494 Status: Regular
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its worse at gigs
i went to see mogwai last night and, although it was impressive to be in a room full of people and very quiet when the music was so. it was piss annoying to have some wanker yell shit throughout.
the only way to deal with 'em is to be standing next to them, and breathe smoke into them, then burn their hair i guess :s
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mortsto-x
from Trondheim/Bodø (Norway) on 2003-05-15 04:53 [#00699033]
Points: 8062 Status: Lurker
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Throw your coke at them maybe? Once I sat in front of a stupid guy who actually had two whole coversations on his phone during the movie.
"Hello.....I'm watching a movie.....nah it's ok....yeah.....blablafuckingbla"
What's the matter with people like that?
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merg
from The New New York (Berlin) (Germany) on 2003-05-15 04:54 [#00699035]
Points: 1708 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #00699025
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Extremely loud throat-clearing at JUST the right moment...always works for me...
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mortsto-x
from Trondheim/Bodø (Norway) on 2003-05-15 04:55 [#00699037]
Points: 8062 Status: Lurker | Followup to grm: #00699032
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Know what you mean. I saw Nils Petter Molvær once, and during the silent parts it was impossible to hear anything at all. And a drunk bastard in front of me was shouting all the time. if he wasn't twice as big as me, I would've kicked his ass.
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-15 05:00 [#00699040]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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WOW! I saw Mogwai last weekend and there was a lot of "shhhssss"´s required...AND i saw Nils Peter the week before that and my girlfriend nearly freaked at the loudness of the chatter during the quieter moments.
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-05-15 05:01 [#00699042]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #00699025 | Show recordbag
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Take a silenced pistol with you and shoot them through the throat? ;)
It does my head in too. I wish cinemas were a bit more fascistic. They could have adult only showings for 15 and below rated films (it is mainly teenagers that make noise), where you are metal detected as you go in and have to surrender your mobile for the duration of the film.
Throwing popcorn annoys me just as much. Usually turning around an giving the group who obviously threw it a "Do it again and you're dead" look for a good 10 seconds usually does the trick.
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Jarworski
from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-15 05:03 [#00699044]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker
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ANY noise does my head in, I've taken to wearing my headphones when I'm watching a film with the missus in the house.
Those Minstril bags are the worst... GAH!
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-15 05:06 [#00699048]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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it was a theatre incident last night that got me posting (postal!). It was the fuckinmg geriatrics and their toffees. Why they selll em in the theatre in the first palce is beyond me! Plus they laughed at points in the play that were extremely sombre..... fucking hell... worse than teens!
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-05-15 05:07 [#00699049]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular
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Take a silencer And have metal detectors, ceri?
i suggest passing them a note saying 'sir, please cease your interruptions for the sake of fellow cinema patrons'.. and if that doesnt work you should try wagging your finger at them...and if they are Really bad, i sugest making a t-shirt that says 'i strongly dislike (persons name)' and wear it whenever i go to the cinema....
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-05-15 05:10 [#00699050]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Bob Mcbob: #00699049 | Show recordbag
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The silenced pistols would be permitted! >:)
*envisions whole cinema engaged in very quiet gunfight...*
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aquagak
from Berlin (Germany) on 2003-05-15 05:12 [#00699053]
Points: 4397 Status: Regular
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i dont care about phones and kids, most of the time im just too into the movie to care about thoes little things
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-15 05:16 [#00699056]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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i saw a live "Leaguie of Gentlemen" stageshow once and they had a sketch about a fag-ha always on her mobile annoying everyone. As soona s the sketch was over and we laughed at the familiarity of it all, this stupid cow behind me got a call... and took it! Talki about taking the fucking buscuit... she had the entire Fox´s factory up her ass!
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-05-15 05:23 [#00699060]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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I never understand why cinemas don't have those mobile phone jammers in each screen. Even new ones don't seem to :(
Other people are the main reason if I really want to see a film and it's not a special fx fest I tend to wait for the DVD release and watch it alone at home on DVD.
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Junktion
from Northern Jutland (Denmark) on 2003-05-15 05:25 [#00699063]
Points: 9713 Status: Lurker
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one of my friends once told this kid that he would stuff the phone up his this kid's ass if he didnt put it away.....that worked
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-05-15 05:30 [#00699066]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular | Followup to Ceri JC: #00699060
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ive only been the cinema twice in my life (jumanji and jurassic park) i always wait for the video or, more usually, wait for it to be on tv so i can record it...
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Smyrma
from Beloit, WI (United States) on 2003-05-15 11:25 [#00699424]
Points: 2478 Status: Lurker
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I went to see Mondo Generator perform an acoustic set at a local record store and there was this group of people in the back who kept talking really loudly and it became painfully obvious during this one break during a song where the girl's irritating voice pierced the silence and everyone else in the crowd turned around to glare at her.
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-15 11:31 [#00699435]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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i think i shall print out rustle-free cards with messages ranging from
"I´m afraid youa re rather making a racket, old bean" to
"Action is being taken right now to your complete and utter fucking demise, cunt!"
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steve
from chicago on 2003-05-15 11:46 [#00699460]
Points: 1156 Status: Lurker
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Go to the movies on a weekday, the earliest showing and only see films that have been out for at least 2 or 3 weeks. Then there won't be many people there to annoy you, and if they do there will be so many empty seats it's easy to just move to another spot.
Unless it's a movie like the Matrix where you simply can't wait then you just have to accept the fact that people are assholes and deal with it.
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-15 11:49 [#00699469]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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or try and integrate the noise into the whle cinema experience? i´ve done this with scratched records and CD´s quite sucessfully. Be Taoist about it really.......... ARRRRRGHHHHH
i want to write a play that hinges on the slightest fucking (avoidable) noise an audience member makes.
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giginger
from Milky Beans (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-15 11:52 [#00699476]
Points: 26326 Status: Lurker | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #00699025 | Show recordbag
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Get a laser pen and blind them.
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-05-15 12:27 [#00699555]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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i hate it
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BlatantEcho
from All over (United States) on 2003-05-15 12:32 [#00699562]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker
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take a pen and pad, and when they are talking, walk up to them and pretend to write down everything they say.
when they ask, say "Geez, you were talking so loud, I just assumed it was a matter of great importance and it might do me well to have it writ down."
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celloncllone
from anywhere but in (Germany) on 2003-05-15 12:57 [#00699624]
Points: 849 Status: Regular
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a word of advice;
directional microphone, get a pair, and you're set
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-05-15 13:01 [#00699633]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to BlatantEcho: #00699562
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orr jab it in theirr neck again and again and again
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subdeatechate
from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-05-15 14:02 [#00699787]
Points: 163 Status: Lurker
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I would have to say... Go get the biggest soda drink they serve, down it as fast as you can, then go sit behind the person and piss right down his back. Quite and clean... well... er...quite atleast.
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BlatantEcho
from All over (United States) on 2003-05-15 14:04 [#00699791]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00699633
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lol
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earthleakage
from tell the world you're winning on 2003-05-15 14:08 [#00699797]
Points: 27795 Status: Regular
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play autechre at them through some loud speakers, that should piss them off
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Paco
from Gothenburg (Sweden) on 2003-05-15 16:11 [#00700010]
Points: 2659 Status: Lurker | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #00699025
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A gun works too.
-P
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Jedi Chris
on 2003-05-15 16:21 [#00700025]
Points: 11496 Status: Lurker
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It can be very frustrating.....I understand where you're coming from. Similar thing....my neighbours came around this evening, and were talking whilst I was trying to watch a film on DVD.....I was like "just fucking go home!"
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titsworth
from Washington, DC (United States) on 2003-05-15 17:17 [#00700095]
Points: 14550 Status: Lurker
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not only am i used to it, i've grown to enjoy it to a degree. i live in a washington, dc suburb called prince george's county. whites make up less than 30% so it's mostly blacks and hispanics. blacks here are the noisest of the minorities and they tend to make up about 80%+ of the audience when i see a movie. cell phones, pagers, screaming babies, extremely loud teenagers in courtship. i've grown a huge tolerance toward all the noise... except the babies crying or screaming during movies while their single teenage mom yells at them to stop instead of just taking them OUTSIDE... that can ruin a good scene. sometimes it's 30 minutes before these unwed moms (black, white, hispanic) have the good sense to leave the theater instead of making everyone else suffer.
but as i said, i've grown pretty damn tolerant; in fact, it even amuses me now. white people toss around the mocking term "ghetto" too often nowadays, but for me, it's actually appropriate. i go to some ghetto-ass theaters, and i will continue to do so because they're $3 cheaper than the white snob theaters in northwest DC. plus some of the "peanut gallery" comments during the previews are hilarious. when the trailer for Jason X came on some black guy in his 30s said "THAT DON'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE!" (since jason was killed so many times and here he is on some space ship in the future?). a friend and i sometimes play up the whole "uncivilized audience" thing and start making funny comments during bad movies (we always see will smith and chris rock movies together and they always suck). ironically it's us two white boys that are making noise during the actual film; it's "the minorities" (*eyeroll*) who actually manage to settle down before the movie starts.... except for the crying babies.
oh yea, and a sizable amount of black people at these theaters always leave like 5 minutes before the credits even begin rolling. it's so weird to see.
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2003-05-15 17:23 [#00700109]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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i dont mind the noisiness... not going to movies much either...
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