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 Now online (1)dariusgriffin ...and 85 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614224 Today 6 Topics 127549 |
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lol, were would we be without you i'll try that one sometime :) |
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;) |
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if you want a girl, put a couple hundred dollar bills in your open fly. have a good day. |
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I wont read through the whole thread so maybe this has been said: you dont get girls, they get you. |
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one word 'tranquilizers' worked for me |
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I realised this long ago - girls want what they can't get. Act uninterested and they'll come at you like a dog eating beetroot. |
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that's true actually |
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Girls want someone who is going to be a good mate (that is not a friend but someone to mate with). That is what they're about period. That is biology at work. That is what we are put on this planet to do - it is our soul purpose around that everything revolves. She has to ask herself will this man help me create superior genes (subconsciously). The question one then has to ask oneself is, would I make a good mate and if not how do I become one? This is the only thing which matters all the rest is fantasy bullshit. |
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90% true |
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soul purpose indeed. something tells me promo is not the romantic type. he walks up to a girl at a club with his dna profile and says, "here's a workup on me genes, i think you'll find everything's in order, now let's talk about getting together to mate..." anyway, this perspective fails to take into account the many, many women who choose to not have children. i'm married to one of them! life is a little more subtle than you suppose. also, being funny only works *if you are actually funny*. |
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the mating stuff is true. which is why some women are found more attracitve than others, it's about mating generally a male wants subconciously to mate with a female that looks healthy etc etc etc and that's what sexual attraction was born from |
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ignore them. works wonders |
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1) Bathe 2) Act Confident (read: uninterested) 3) Have a car |
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001: eat lots of greasy food (preferably hamburgers); 002: drink lots of alcohol (preferably cheep beer. budweiser does the trick usually) 003: wear a wife-beater with grease stains on it 004: treat women like shit "i own the camaro and the mobile home, so where the fuck you're gonna go?!?" - Slug of Atmosphere but seriously. for the fact that humans always want what they don't have, girls are never content with their present "catch", so if they have a boyfriend who treats them with the utmost respect, they usually procede to mercilessly ditch his sorry ass for one who will treat them as not all too much more than a piece of fecal matter. it's kind of sad, really. |
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Subject: MENS' & WOMENS' ENGLISH, and "How to impress your mate" > > WOMENS' ENGLISH > Yes = No. > No = Yes > Maybe = No. > We need = I want. > I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. > Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. > Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. > I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! > Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead. > You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. > Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. > You're so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. > Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. > It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. > You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? > I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game > on TV. > How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really > not going to like. > > MEN'S ENGLISH > I'm hungry = I'm hungry. > I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. > I'm tired = I'm tired. > Nice dress = Nice cleavage! > I love you = Let's have sex now. > I'm bored = Do you want to have sex? > What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question. > May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. > Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. > Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. > Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. > Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex > with other guys. > You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with > you within the next ten minutes. > Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep > person and then I'd like to have sex with you. > I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay ==> Yes = No. |
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> How to impress your mate > > HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: > * Wine her,* Dine her,* Call her,* Hug her,* Support her,* Hold her,* > Surprise her,* Compliment her,* Smile at her,* Listen to her,* Laugh > with her,* Cry with her,* Romance her,* Encourage her,* Believe in > her,* Pray with her,* Pray for her,* Cuddle with her,* Shop with her, > * Give her jewelry,* Buy her flowers,* Hold her hand,* Write love > letters to her,* Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her. > > HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: > * Show up naked ... Bring food ... Don't block the TV.... |
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so there it goes folks. of what was posted below (some forward i got a bit back), it can be said that either men have very simple needs and women are thus the more superior of the species via their sheer complexity, or that female needs are far too elaborate and unrealistic. whichever view you choose to take on this issue, you're as much correct as you are full of shit. the truth always lies somewhere in the middle. |
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"I'm thinking about giving up on being funny and trying to amuse people in general because it's rather unfulfilling." I hear ya : ) |
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i don't think those how-to-tricks work; just be sure to be enough in places where girls are (so don't get isolated behind your pc) and something will happen eventually. Just wait, see, and be nice, and some girls will notice it. and imo: meeting girls via chat never works. don't do it. |
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Talk to girls. You'll find out a lot from them. Like there is no EASY WAY or konami code to get a chick or something. I mean If you just want to sack a girl GET HER DRUNK OFF OF LEMON GIN and watch a boring movie and make fun of it with her. If you wanna get with a girl that you really like its tuff, the quicker you go for it the better I find. If you got shot down, at least you didnt spend months working on her only to find that she doesnt like you. "You dont get girls they get you". Thats true most of the time. Real girls arnt perfect and perfect girls arnt real. And uhh yeah Ill stop now for fear that emo kids might over hear us and tell us how to get girls through song ... |
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namedrop all the intelligent electronica you listen too, and force her to listen to Hecker's new album with the headphones you had been wearing on your head while conducting the conversation... it also helps to have poor posture, stupid hair.... don't finish thoughts... instead, trail off and jump from thought to thought... don't bother to qualify these erratic seques... invite her to a 3 hour long Andrei Tarkovsky film with dialogue every few minutes... have some sort of pen-ink smudge on your face... |
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you don't get girls and boys they happen |
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i still hope so |
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. I've given up "being nice", it doesn't work. I'll do what I want in my next relationship. |
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LOL :D |
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''Heeeeyyyyy baby, ever been on Xltronic.com? Well I'm a mod on there... yeah, you heard me right. 9000+ points. Totally. You wanna, erm, go back to my place and break some beds?'' |
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right....what you do is you get a big stick....swing it round your head 3000 times. then....put the stick under your pillow. when you wake up, a naked woman will be beside you. she'll want sex. |
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I must admit, I have considered saying, "if you want to know what I'm really like, go to xltronic.com... I post there as Ceri JC" |
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"i don't need anybody. did you hear what i said? did you hear what i said this time? wanna know the truth? i could've had any girl i wanted in school, any girl i wanted. you know why i didn't have a girlfriend? huh? because there was nobody that i liked. nobody that i liked - that's the truth! i could've had anybody. there was nobody that i liked because girls stink. they stink! they're evil. and they're all bad. all of them! backstabbers, like you". - sample at the end of Buck 65's 'pants on fire' / from: 'mand overboard' / |
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a rather interesting qoute i came across which some girl had on her profile on (of all places), makeoutclub.com - if you wanna make fun of overpretentious emo kids, that's the place to be! haha! but mind you, there are plenty of girls who listen to autechre, boc, plaid and even third eye foundation. anyhow, this is by camille paglia, apparently the girl's womens' studies professor: "A major failing of most feminist ideology is its dumb, ungenerous stereotyping of men as tyrants and abusers, when in fact-as I know full well, from my own mortifying lesbian experience- men are tormented by women's flirtatiousness and hemming and hawing, their manipulations and changeableness, their humiliating rejections.... It is part of women's merciless testing and cold-eyed comparison shopping for potential mates. Men will do anything to win the favor of women. Women literally size up men- "What can you show me?"- in bed and out. If middle class feminists think they conduct their love lives perfectly rationally, without any instinctual influences from biology, they are imbeciles." |
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the real question is: what movie did Buck 65 sample this from? |
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"generally a male wants subconciously to mate with a female that looks healthy etc etc etc and that's what sexual attraction was born from" if this is the case, why would there be a cultural trend in the west towards extremely thin women being considered the standard for beauty? why would people embrace what has been called "heroin chic"? and how are all of these ugly people hooking up if what you say is true? i know what you're thinking: alcohol. |
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Heroin chic is a sign of decedance in the developed world. "Skinny women" are seen as unnatractive in more "primitive" cultures... |
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put something in thier drink |
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can a joke, and i hope it is a joke, about drugging and raping someone ever be funny? |
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IMO, turn-ons: a great sense of humor the quite type intelligence good hygene good sense of aesthetics chivalry and, i don't like to admit it, but acting aloof does work. I've ended up with a couple guys who got my attention by not paying me attention. offs: loud outgoing foot odor dirty finger nails lack of style cheap conformity |
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I don't like skinny (heroin, model, bulemia skinny) girls. I just like ones that are really really hot!!! |
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you ladies(guys) look to much into it =) girls arent anyting to be afriad of you can get a girl in the palm of your hand if you want |
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THATS FUCKING AWESOME! YOU KICK ASS JUST FOR SAYING THAT! |
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alcohol? |
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learn to sk8. |
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in agreeance (i can't spell agreeance right now, it doesn't look right) with afxNUMB: Girls are just peoples. It seems people look way too far into it. But as I say, just ignore them, that's the way |
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Yes they are just people. Like men they can be persuaded to do almost anything when intoxicated. This is more of cabbogs territory. |
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It depends on the females mentality- Not all girls fall for that old trick!!! |
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if you want to bag some cheap and easy females I suggest you start dealing coke. desperate addicts are the most reliable source for a quickie personally, I think deadeight is closest to the truth |
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AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA ! ! ! ! |
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Only the ones who drink or cant taste it. |
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I drink, & I like those girly drinks-but even if I'm drunk I still know what's going on. |
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totally |
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*slips raccoon tranquilizer into donna simpsons bellybutton* please.. go on. |
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