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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2024-05-21 12:13 [#02635640]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i think i might have literally accidentally caused a car accident the other day. i was wearing incredibly loud multi-color pants and a wizard hoodie and i was completely minding my own business. happily listening to hardcore tano and shuffling in gigantic black combat boots. because shit, i got it! i see how you do shuffle dance now. and so i'm shuffling down the sidewalk. in loud pants and giant combat boots and a wizard hoodie. and i hear a bang -- i think. i'm wearing noise-cancelling cans. it sounded right, and look right, but there's nothing. i think the sound bounced off of buildings
then i was just running out to the store before a friend is over and i'm waiting for him and he should be hear already and there's a car alarm going off. so i think: i'll just stay up here in my aerium and do yoga until that car alarm stops and then i'll check my phone.
because i thought it would stop after 30 or 60 seconds, you know? like when someone sits on their key fob and "your car is alarmed" "oh shit sorry" *boopBoop* and it stops
but instead i hear... that sounds like a fire engine? the car is still alarmed? and it's two or three minutes? so okay.
i put on my shoes and go out and there is a car accident right in front of my house with fire engines and ambulances and my friend is walking down the sidewalk oh hello
no, i have no idea what happened either
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2024-05-21 18:34 [#02635646]
Points: 7845 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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did you cause it thinking about it, cause that would be an incredibly strong power.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2024-05-21 19:03 [#02635648]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i had a hood up covering my face and was not aware of any cars at all. i was briefly self-conscious about shuffle-dancing down the sidewalk but since i've had a hard time getting it, and whoa, okay, something just clicked there, and fuck it. i keep going
who knows what lies in the subconscious. but from my perspective, i was entirely minding my own bidness and if you're distracted looking at someone shuffle dancing on the sidewalk and fuck your car up, that's not on me. mind your own bidness
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2024-05-21 19:04 [#02635649]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2024-05-22 07:36 [#02635665]
Points: 7845 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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maybe you ought to be more careful as to where you´re shuffling though. Someone might get confused as to whether you´re going to cross the road or not. maybe this could be used as sort of a protest movement too.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2024-05-22 07:55 [#02635666]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i was on a sidewalk, i was not relevant to any motor vehicles. neither were my pants, which
maybe what i was doing was actually pretty sick? i couldn't tell. is that criminal?
is it criminal to do some sick shuffling in loud pants? i couldn't tell you.
no, perhaps. they were powerful pants. and then add the fact that i've discovered some powerful dance move to powerful pants, and...
i have no idea. i wasn't paying attention. i don't have a car. certain cheesebags have decided i'm not allowed to have a car. i was just wearing clothes i enjoy and listening to music and walking down the sidewalk and fussing around with sick dance moves in my combat boots and i actually missed the fact that there was a car accident until i was doing yoga for quite a bit and the car alarm hadn't stopped and the fire engine and...
maybe it's kind of like a raindance and i should be careful. but if you care about my brain pants you should drind your ovn bidnesssssBOOM you've rolled out of a side-street and your babby is WAH. WAH. needy babby cry. PLOP YOUR AIRBAG?
the law does not hold my pants accountable the law does not hold my shuffling accountable the law does not hold my combat boots accountable the law does not hold my wizard hoodie accountable
but it's fair enough. until i get some shit i am owed in life [e.g. a car, $256k etc] i am just going to keep dancing down the sidewalk and shuffling in combat boots. you assholes glaring at me hav^H^H had a car, okay? and look you have a family and a babby and i have none of these things. just my pants and my headphones and my boots and shuffling and you can eat shit with that glare you're spoiled and it's your own fault and i'm going to maintain a complete poker face and telling some lookly-loo, oh, no, no idea what happen
thank you for reading my car acciden^H^Hzilty thread
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2024-05-22 07:58 [#02635667]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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that's how it's done downtown.
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big
from lsg on 2024-05-25 09:28 [#02635696]
Points: 23698 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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/r/fuckcars
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