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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 78 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613722 Today 3 Topics 127517 |
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Who will join me in Hand Jobs for Uber Drivers? |
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I made a joke about someone committing suicide to a Maxi Priest midi file and it went down really badly, and a friend who was being supportive I called him a cunt cos i thought he was saying i was full of bullshit but he wasn't and I feel like a massive twat whose upset everyone |
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it wasn't offensive really mate, chances are we all know someone who's topped themselves, a close friend from high school here. justin can be a touchy bugger |
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yeah in for a spinal op not the drink for once! hope yr stay sorted you out, yr so unlucky with yr health |
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I just hope he doesn't think it was me trying to make some sort of oblique reference to his mother, or something like that I have to say was completely taken a back I just don't think he gets my thought process whatsoever it would be alien to him, was a bit of a rushed judgement from him I suppose I'm sorry about his mother I don't find actual real life suicide funny either I was just using the concept as a contrivance/mechanism to make an absurd joke, I can't believe I have to explain that to him but there you go |
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Sorry to Mo thought as well I was quick to condemn him I should know he has always been a good egg to me, its sad how situations can spiral out of hand, I was feeling pretty good today for the first time in a while no I feel a bit horrible and spoilt it all |
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I think the fundamental problem is that we have a cadre of different types of atypical neurodiverse (nice way to put it) people on the forum and its very easy to get the wrong ideas from one another, especially people who are both a bit nuts from different countries |
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I was trying to remember your country of residence the other day and couldn't quite place it... I'm sure I used to know but I seem to have forgotten. Anyway "wet bollock" seals the deal. Anyone outside the UK is fundamentally incapable of contortions thier fingers to type such a phrase. It's like an evolved failsafe mechanism. |
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confession: i strongly suspect i'm not built to be a touring musician. [tldr ~ there's drugs all about and it's exhausting and i'd have no problem for a bit but then mick and ratfink always have coke and i didn't like coke [well, it was ok] because it made me too tense.... but, then, we're touring... ...and shit, i'm tired. gimmie dat shit ratfink! and that night, i stop there. and nothing bad happens. the next night, well, that was ok last night! shortly later: oh shit, i need some whiskey to even that out, i'm tense. two weeks later: only ratfink's iron disposition keeps him from whooping my fucking ass because i am... well, imagine me on way too much booze and coke vs. my current none of that shit] |
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It is a bit of a foul-mouthed shibboleth, yes. |
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Does anyone here believe that confessing your sins (not necessarily in a religious setting or sense) is a good thing? i believe it can be, but not always. i suppose the core mechanic is that you're holding a burden by keeping it to yourself; that you're dealing with it alone, perhaps. picking at it in your head [[the genius of the catholic confession box [definitely definitely posted this] is that it lets you not only feel the relief of finally admitting it to someone, but the look it up on a chart and so many hail mary and whatever else and domine domine domine god forgives you -- and this is for a reason. if someone just says "you're forgiven" it helps, it does. but "you're forgiven if you..." and then you make them put in a certain amount of work proportional to their guilt... without that, it wouldn't really be much of anything]] if it's burdening you to keep it in, well, then perhaps it's a good idea. if your sin is more like "i was the gary last night" and you know Father Fundie would nail you with penance for this but, actually, you don't feel burdened with guilt it all, that you'd fucking do it again, in fact, and next thursday had been floated then, well, fuck the man's pain scale chart and just keep that sin to yourself. it is also possible to feel smug about not confessing something |
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has anyone ever put a catholic priest's balls to the fire; went into the box and open with "forgive me father, for i have sinned. and i'm far from done for the week; i've only stabbed three people so far" he's not supposed to tell. you're not supposed to troll. if you sell it, will he crack and call the cops? if you fail to sell it, will he even call you out as a troll? do they have a procedure for this? do they get together at catholic father priest conventions and compare notes about how to deal with nutters and trolls? ...wait, do such conventions exist? i'm sure they must i have this odd fascination with things like..... what's in those vague ten floors towards the top of the Taipei 101? any time i've ever snuck, trespassed, etc. it was never anything but: "oh. hmm. interesting. well i've seen it." and then i leave. i only wanted to see what was in there, what is that thing anyways, etc. and i'm neurotic and mildly anxious but my curiosity is a terrifying thing ... and i want to know what the conversations are like in the giant hotel ballroom during the mingle phase after din, in this context |
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it was 2019, that. what was at the convention. but i wouldn't have said taipei 101 because i didn't know that building existed yet. it was a late-nite wikipedia dive last year that DAMPER BABY and i'm actually quite charmed by this whole building it's 2019 because i see an image of my kitchen in 2019. some stuff i thought i mentioned here, i see now. it was floating over there because i texted it over the phone, actually, ok and whoops, right, location comes back with anything really. where i physically was. so far more just seems i'm integrating the pile with itself more and getting quicker at pulling them. except for... alright, taipei 101 is new; i've swapped in something that was probably better than whatever i had... easy to know that's new because i remember looking at it recently. and i know the rest is 2019 because image of my kitchen. and this is only developing the ability to get more skilled at recognizing it's from 2019 or such. it doesn't seem anywhere near done though, like there's at least something more i can do here than that rehashing of existing things i do |
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oh. oh. the idea of asking my brain to "index by date" or "alphabetically" is like: no, i don't think this is quite how it goes. that either is bordering on a dumb ask. in fact it definitely doesn't go like that. index by 2019; i've no idea how to make that work currently but "index by location" and this is the first such "index by whatever" like i've felt like: "...that feels like it could be possible" |
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it was 2019, that. what was at the convention. ... it's 2019 because i see an image of my kitchen in 2019. my kitchen? but i already know the answer. i was pacing around my kitchen as i wrote the stuff in my hed. i can actually pull back a mental image i generated then, something like an inaccessible bit of land across a body of water and "i've always seen that i want to see how it looks to stand over there" i believe. what i don't think i would have put in is that it's night-time in all my camera shots, or at least rather dark harder to pin down was some stuff i was seeing... in my office, facing away from my computer. ...away? finally -- oh, i see. it's because these are things i wrote to people on my phone over text. i got, like... it's as if it's a whole bunch of photos of using my phone laid on top of each other in photoshop. i kind of feel like "perhaps this is how it always is and the image i got back was too blurry for me to see it." and obviously these are a bunch of different memories of me using my phone. in the same physical location i've suggested, somewhere on here, that physical location is the index memory uses. it could be part of it, but sometimes parsimony is the parsimony of saying "making this thing simple is incredibly complex because this thing is very complex. and you can't converge tim cook into a refrigerator and have a satisfying user experience |
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confession ~ once i had a dream that reached a point where i was reading my credit card number to the fraud department over the phone shortly before i woke up, and thought: that is the correct credit card number, actually. i also got the security code correct. ... ... "what the fuck is wrong with me?" i also felt it was so beyond the range of "this is normal thing for human in dream" that i thought it is a bug. when it is actually the future |
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Gosh hope it all went well! Let us know please! I can’t wait to get out of here. Mostly coz of certain patients. |
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Thanks wolfslice! Epic, I think I get you. I’m still hurt you called me a tit! |
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the surgery went ok, i was in there for a good 8 hours tho. i'd already had some metalwork put in my neck around xmas, the bone was failing at the join so i had to have it extended. been in bed for a fortnight and it's crazy how weak i am now in my legs, physio and zimmerframe time baybee |
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>> he had a blog on his site 20 years ago -- a current post was about opening TeaNY and picking the robot art etc if you want to understand how my brain and i have a lot of fun, but it's a maddening problem child at times, understand that it's three days later and it's still eating at me: why do i remember reading this at my dad's computer? i had my own. oh, maybe i was home from college on break and it was at... no, i had a laptop? maybe i didn't bring it home? but... why the fuck wouldn't i? it was a six hour drive i didn't just go back overnight and... even i think this is kind of stupid. and it's like: okay, brain, time for C++ again. and brain just all: WHY THE FUCK WAS I READING THAT ON DAD'S COMPUTER? as far as this item has moved individually, like, okay, yes, i think this might have been the night before i went to college for the first time and all the shit was packed in the car. this hinges on a camera shot of staring off at a bit of my dad's office and it's all dark; the reasons i'd be in there at night... then, no, there's something else where it's winter and daytime, from the... feel, i suppose, and... and one thing i never expected to figure out was why this was bothering me: it's because i need this as a data point to prop some memories i don't quite have up. and this quantum thing is like: i need to let this just be a mess for now. kind of like saying fuck it with cleaning yourself and hiring a maid; it'll be done for you eventually but you have to let it be a mess for a bit until she shows up that week and i'll confess i hope anyone is following me but i wouldn't put money on it |
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ouch belb. feel better |
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why do i remember reading this at my dad's computer? one answer that occurred to me weeks ago was "i've recomputed one of my dad's memories" and then i quite literally laughed at myself. i know precisely how much of a twat i sound like when i say this shit, and that one is the icing on the cake. and i've come back to it a few times. and i'm actually not sure it's a joke. i think my dad read moby's blog too. or, well, i'm lightyears away from sure, but it's not a complete joke anymore. and if that is possible, that means... i could speak with my dad again, in a frozen sense. i joked... then toyed with... could i bring him back as an AI? he was so meticulously documented and i have stacks of his old hard drives... and then i decided that was too heavy and what a twat i sound like for even thinking such things anyways. now it's 2024 and someone else has already tried that. but i figure i could do better than their dad i find myself thinking about the crazy shit that goes down right before a cell divides. if we're making a copy of everything it makes sense. everything has to be accounted for if the informational system itself is going to divide. but, sorry, i sound like a right twat saying that |
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it's the season of wet bollocks again |
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