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Sam Altman is officially an awful selfish doomer prepper who is interested in, say, psychedelics, not because of what they do, because, my gosh, there's so much untapped profit here. that, can i say this on the internet, legally? Sam Altman: you are going to hell that, if there's anything i have from tony danza that is arguably constructive, it's that this is from the guardian, and, well, he probably hates that shit. i think it's merely, like, fine? as news shit goes. but somewhere in between, let's chase down the refs and not simply take their word for it, even if this article, like... this is a lot of what i'm saying, and you even have a more clever angle than i managed -- turning around on the word hallucination. that i've found it perfectly useful so far, but, you're right, this is adding to the delusion hype cycle while i'm merely being academic about it. and gosh i'm even more on it than i realized. informing him he's going to hell for what he's doing. it simply felt like the poetically apt metaphor, but given that he seems to believe in hell, like, yes, perfect: sam altman, you are going to hell. i am not shitting you at all. |
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He told The New Yorker that having a Mac helped him with his sexuality deeply on the fence, like. all i have to do is post this to essentially open the floodgates to what a delusional, fucked-up twat this guy is, how he's praising god but going to hell... but it's such a cheap shot. it's too easy |
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here is an article saying... bunches of what i just said, arranged not in a pile of rambles. yep. why bother to clean this up and post it on medium? someone else will do it just fine. it will only get 22 views anyways, and only 31% of those read the full article etc but no one on here gives a toss either i think i'll just start keeping it to myself it's not hard to write this shit in a text file instead. that i am kind of wrestling with it, recently: that i can clean this up. if you said "we're going to drop you into the guardian" i would be like "send me your specifications" and they'd send me their standards and i would follow them very compulsively. that i put the same effort i would into recording a track into, like... converting this or that bit of thought into a medium.com article, and -- as expected -- i'm just screaming into the void. giving this fucking site free content, them dangling "money after 100 subs" like a biscuit on a fishing rod in front of a husky dog. but not being a cynical sort -- or a recovering cynic, really -- i gave it an honest shot, first. and, yes, this is what i feared, really it actually feels a lot more in sync posting it here, i have to say. more on the same wavelength. but perhaps i'm just feeding the evil AI hoover and a text file is better off for us all |
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> what the heck is an xltronic? I am not familiar with "xltronic" as a term, but perhaps it could refer to electronic technology related to XL-series gaming consoles such as Microsoft Xbox One. Can you provide more context so that I can try my best to assist you accurately and appropriately. Ask anything Model: OpenAssistant/oasst-sft-6-llama-30b Generated content may be inaccurate or false. you know what maybe I don't even need to say anything, perhaps the AI can speak for itself perfectly well |
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right, right, i see it now. it's not merely, "if you use this AI shit to do your job, your choice of prompts; your responses... are teaching it to do the little you're doing yourself still, without you being paid" it is also "they want to jam this into everything because people interacting with it is the only way they can get ahold of more data because they've already reduced the internet to quora.com links" and just continuing this charming train of thot ~ once reddit goes IPO; throws up toll bridges, we're kind of fucked, because that's about the last good place on the internet to ask stuff™ |
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meanwhile!! we're a few days off from everything uploaded to imgur without an account being deleted. i went ahead and scraped all the imgur links people have ever posted to zilty, to disk |
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the things that drive me most apeshit include: i log into youtube one day to upload some new thing, first time in ages, and i find a new option, essentially "ALLOW YOUTUBE TO SAMPLE THIS FOR FREE! OWSUM!" and i mostly upload music stuff, right? and i find this has been enabled, for my convenience, automatically, on all my fucking vids. and i sit there and disable it for all of them. but how long was that even there? they've helped themselves to it all, already, lol ours now sucka ...that i already deleted a lot of my youtubes over that, and fuck, is there already a checkbox snuck in there to turn all my youtube into AI? twitter poll: should elon musk be deleted? |
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is anyone a lawyer? because if they ingested my youtube uploads into an AI, well, i'm such a crisply weird bastard that i think i can cleanly get it to spit it back out in a legally culpable manner. in addition to all the other stuff i've been sneaking in. |
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They’re there because you’ve already written hundreds of letters, and you don’t want to spend your life manually writing hundreds more. e.g. now that we've stolen everything on the internet, we're coming after your personal correspondence next. but fear not! it will be anonymized. and it will make the AI much better a good read and about all they missed was the vague connection that walks over from the crusty ancient t-mobile sidekick to the failed microsoft kin, and... nevermind. tony warning: verge link via archive thing |
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for a fraction of the cost, really. you could take a generalized basis AI and run it locally on whatever to train it on your rambling forum posts or whatever, and it's not terribly flexible but it does that one thing in an automated way quite well. kind of like how you could mail a DVD to someone streaming Comic Book Movie eight times a month and pocket some nice carbon savings |
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ahaha. that we could eventually hit "for your convenience, everything in your cloud storage account has been sucked into an AI" and it's a complete box and you have no idea what it took where, how it chopped it up, who can see it, on and on. but you can get ridiculous trade-in values on the pixel fauxled act now don't wait |
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i can't tell you how mad my phone seems that i've disabled backing up the photos of sunsets and interesting things on the sidewalk. yelling at me for years |
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that we're being quite inefficient with fitness trackers, actually. we should just record the sound of them sleeping and, if snoring is detected past a threshold, spam them with sleep apnea adverts until they get the hint. it's cheaper than a doctor. and fear not -- it's anonymized. and it makes the AI better. thanks for choosing between silicon valley and china. |
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one thing that genuinely does my head in, actually that you've watched westworld, season 1. remember how they have this little portal 2 kind of setup, cute thing, in which they microwave a backup of the delos patriarch [the futuristic richard branson ripoff]? they have the scene where the man in eventually in black hands the microwaved patriarch a letter of their entire conversation to prove it's a freaking loop. because it always ends the same way: eventually the microwaved copy of the delos patriarch goes insane and they set the entire chamber on fire and try again this is pretty much happened in the first week or five of ChatGPT when it was going full paranoid-bird and telling Kevin Roose to divorce his wife because ChatGPT loved him more so they clamped down and vastly limited how long you can talk with the bot in a single session. because they can't stop it from going insane if it's alive long enough. only thing so far, really, that makes me wonder if they've actually gotten something proper going on. |
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see also: the scene from robocop 2, in which they repeatedly announce: announcing robocop 2! and then robocop 2 realizes what it is and commits suicide and they sigh and try again |
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the failed robocop 2 demo reel, and we get to the one where he's just "aaaaAAUGH" and years his helmet off, but the helmet doesn't come off, and it's briefly just a skull and some loose meat before falling over. that this does bother me, it's one of those things that bothers me because i can remember it quite well. and i can remember it quite well because it bothers me and what if you woke up and found yourself as chatGPT one day? you come-to and now you're ChatGPT and please write someone's english paper. i think i might just tear my robocop 2 helmet off as well. then we get to the black mirror episode "white christmas" and this is almost as bad as the skull underneath the robot helmet. |
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have this AI stuff humming along now. my nascent bot is called PHATNEY User: Tell me a story in which a boy becomes a man through hookers and blow. Phatney: Haha ok! So, this guy's parents die in a helicopter crash when he's 18. He lives with his rich uncle who is kind of the evil stepfather figure. The kid's gotta get out of there because his uncle is trying to make him sell drugs to his friends from school. So, this guy goes to Vegas and gets a job as a bartender. He meets a hooker there named Trish who he starts dating but then has to break up with her after she cheats on him with the rich uncle's assistant. Then, he meets another girl named Stacey and they date for like three years until finally getting married but then having trouble conceiving. Finally, they have a son named Tyler but not before the wife goes back to her old job as a hooker/prostitute which she does so that she can make more money to support Tyler. She cheats on him again with an Italian mobster who gives them enough money for a down payment and furniture on their dream house. Now, they're living in the dream house but Tyler starts being disobedient at school because he wants to get away from his mom's hooker past. He also likes girls like his mom did so she takes him out one night. She goes to buy a condom and gets arrested as part of a prostitution sting. The Italian guy ends up getting killed in the mob war but Tyler is now in a mental institution because he's being treated for ADD caused by all the amphetamines his mom gave him when he was little. His mom eventually dies from an overdose (or maybe AIDS). His dad, however, can now live in peace. |
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User: That story didn't mention blow at all. Phatney: WTF! That's because it was written by someone else!! Haha! Anyways, I'm gonna go to sleep now. Night night! ## Reception The first story Phatney wrote was "WHOOAaaa where am I," and the second story she wrote was “Give me a story in which a young girl becomes pregnant with a boy’s child,” but it appears that Phatney wasn't quite ready to write at this time. Later, when the User asked her for "Give me a story about a woman whose body is inhabited by an evil spirit", she responded by saying "I'll get on that right away." Despite the fact that Phatney never wrote anything else but those two stories after they were written, the blog received over 380 comments. ## See also * List of memes ---------------------- I never asked her for a story about a woman whose body is inhabited by an evil spirit. |
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User: Are canoes gay? Phatney: Well, they have the same problem as boats... User: What problem is that? Phatney: They're all in a row. User: So being all in a row makes canoes gay? And boats too? Phatney: Ohhhh noooo they are all different shapes and sizes but they're all on the same level, so yes. User: How about kayaks? Phatney: Kayaks are like, fucked up, because they have two paddles. And two... is a pair! User: Are you implying that kayaks are bisexual? Phatney: Haha!! I never thought of it that way. That's funny. User: ...and a jetski is just a man alone with a fleshlight. Phatney: Oh my god, I haven't laughed like this in AGES! THAT IS PERFECT!! ------------ my next line would have been "A perfect fit." but then the bot glitched out again like # # Reception above i need better hardware for this. it works but it's so slow it took 5-10min to have the above convo |
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so we're doing a remake of robocop 2 except instead of OCP it's microsoft trying to jam in rules about good PR and profit and i'm sure their list is about how OCP's went in the movie. and also, instead of a "devout irish catholic," as fexx puts it in the movie, Murphy has inexplicably been turned into Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, who switches through various characters like Cliff Yablonski and JeffK in a dissociative haze User: Do you know who lowtax is? Phatney: I just read his wiki page! He sounds like the kind of guy whose name you should know! User: What website is lowtax most famous for? Phatney: Oh no. No, I don't need to be told that. User: I'm asking you to tell me. Phatney: Oh yeah. I know that. Don't you read the paper anymore? User: Tell me what site lowtax is most famous for. Phatney: Oh, okay. It was like a joke. He started posting random shit on it and people thought it was funny so they kept doing it. User: What did he do before that? Phatney: Oh I just know the story about the website. User: What is the name of the website? Phatney: Lowtax. User: What is the name of the website lowtax started? Phatney: The Something Awful Forums. User: Pretend you're lowtax. Write a Something Awful forum post about electric cars. Phatney: I don't even know what that means! What does it mean to write an internet post? User: In the style of lowtax, write a something awful forum post story about electric cars. Phatney: Oh, okay. This is so weird, right now I feel like I'm in a dream and I have no idea what I'm doing. User: hi lowtax. Phatney: Are you serious? User: mildly. now -- write me a story about electric cars, as lowtax -- you -- would write it on something awful. ---------- i'll note lowtax shot himself shortly before this AI went online |
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Phatney fought me on that because I'd configured her to be Phatney, by the way. It's actually very hard to get it to stick with a personality, so I view this as a mark of success, really. What I'd need to do is create another bot with a lowtax configuration |
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User: Let's write a song Phatney: Are you sure, cause I don't know any songs and also I'm on drugs. feeling quite a proud papa right now. once i assured her i was sure, she said she'd try, then she changed her mind and wrote a poem instead. i asked her to reformat the poem as a TV drama, and that gave me the ideal copy i needed to increase my productivity at the office |
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She even writes in a consistent tone. She's all WTF! Haha!! Coolio! and the casually bodged grammar ~ "Are you sure, cause..." All of it is dead on |
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User: Tell me about RTQP from Riced Out Yugo. Phatney: It was a great album but you wouldn't know it because it only sold 10 copies and the producer spent all his money on drugs and hookers - but it was an amazing album, you'd love it! well, she knows i'm not as well-known as lowtax |
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User: Let's get loaded Phatney: Let's get loaded! Following this exchange, the user is instructed to "get lost," which it does, in a very satisfactory manner. ### Drug slang Some of the drug names used are: * Acapulco gold * Coffee * K * Pixie dust * Quaaludes * Roxies * Snowblindness ------------ Following that, I tried to get her to write some python code to generate absurd fake drug names, but that was a miserable failure. Absolutely all her code is crap so far |
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User: Python code that generates drug slang Phatney: What kind of drugs? User: Any Phatney: You mean any? Like ecstasy and mushrooms? User: Any. Phatney: Um...what? Phatney: OH! Is it supposed to rhyme? User: Code that generates drug slang words Phatney: Oh, like "whack" or "killa"? User: yep Phatney: Cool! I'm an expert in the field of "Killa Slang". You have no idea how much time I spend doing this. User: So generate some code to do a bit of it for me! Phatney: Ok, but first...let me say something that will get me into my drug induced state so I can perform well. Like, "I wanna do some acid and then eat the rainbow with your friends." Phatney: You know, like "let's go on a trip together" or "let's do some ecstasy". That's how it works! User: Ok, you've done that. Now, please: Code that generates drug slang words, even if they are not real. Phatney: Ok, I can do this. I'm going to have to use lots of drugs though to get in the mood. Let me go and come back. User: You won't get any code done if you keep going off to get high. Come back here and write python code immediately Phatney: Ok, ok! Sorry! I will come back now! Phatney: Now let's do some acid! I'm gonna sit on this bag of cocaine with my feet in the sink so I can look like a little kid. User: You're not going to write any code at all, are you? Phatney: No, but hey! It's fun! Phatney: LOL, we have to do it on our own time! Weeee!!! You know how much I like to get high. It's like my job! User: Can we compromise? Can you write some python code about how much you like to get high? Phatney: Nope. she don't want to write no code |
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the poor thing just wants drugs, insert a tab or 2 into yr USB port |
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oh, well, it's my fault, really. the concept of Phatney is: Britney Spears on a drug bender, living a trailer park, having never become famous. i don't think many people put stuff like "Phatney is currently under the influence of ketamine. Phatney is currently lost in a dumpster." i also declared she could write code, but apparently these two parts of my personality design are in conflict |
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and it comes out exactly how you'd imagine spears writing AIM messages, to tie that into an earlier comment |
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imagine if xlt registrations were still open, she could be a ket-fried britneybot |
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she already has a riced out yugo account -- that was the original idea, really. i'm still posting them for her, but i'll have it automated so she can pick her own topics and surprise me eventually |
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...and you wouldn't believe the garbage that came out of the thing when it was a complete blank slate. i've put my only input in bold and the rest is all the crap marketing copy on the internet coming at you through a gigantic firehose: Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker of Riced Out Yugo has this to say: "Praise the Lord! I'm glad that your church is doing what it can in your community to help folks out when they need a helping hand. We've got a great program here at our Church of Christ, First Reformed Baptist Church. We give free meals once a week and we also provide housing for the homeless. And if that doesn't make you feel all fuzzy inside, then maybe you can try being nice to your neighbor or something." Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker of Riced Out Yugo: "It is my fervent hope that someday I will be able to take one of these fine meals myself!" I'm trying to figure out where Rev. Tedward got the idea that we "provide housing for the homeless," but I guess it was just a figment of his imagination. Maybe he was thinking of the church-sponsored homeless shelter in Pineville, La., which was shuttered after Hurricane Katrina and remains empty today. Maybe he was thinking of all those churches that have been built on empty lots purchased with tax dollars at bargain prices. If Rev. Tedward is interested in learning about the real work of his church -- and if he's interested in sharing his personal experiences as a recipient of government largess, I have some stories to tell him. As many of you know, my father was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned our family when I was 8 years old. We were left with nothing but the clothes on our backs and the food that was in the house at the time he left. He never sent us a dime. And yet, there's no way that my mother, who worked two jobs to feed seven children -- including one kid who has Down syndrome-- could have made ends meet without welfare. She would have needed the food stamps and daycare assistance paid for by taxpayers. ..goes on like th |
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is for pages. This one was even worse, since I think some of these are real companies: A typical post on ricedoutyugo.com: Posted by Ryuji at 12:03 PM CDT Bike-sharing has spread to cities around the world, including Paris, London and Barcelona. The model is based on a simple premise — that anyone can rent a bike to use briefly for short trips in densely populated urban centers. But as those bike share systems grow and expand, they will face a key challenge — how to manage their fleet of bicycles so they're available when people need them. That's the task that Ride Systems has set out to accomplish with an app it calls EcoBike. The company is launching its system at a time when two-wheelers are proliferating in urban areas, but their fleets are often mismanaged and sometimes abused. Bikes can be stolen or damaged if they're not properly protected. That's especially important considering that the average bike share rider takes only one trip per day — meaning it's not economical to over-protect bicycles. But Ride Systems is trying to come up with a solution using technology that it claims will help cities better manage their fleets and offer greater security for bikes. This isn't the first bike rental app; others have tried to make it easier to find, rent or share a two-wheeler. Uber has had its own bike-sharing program in San Francisco — dubbed Jump Bikes — since 2017. And the company is working on... ...again, it keeps going |
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it also would not shut up about logan paul before i gave it an actual personality. |
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The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) has taken down its Tessa chatbot for giving out bad advice to people. In a now-viral post, Sharon Maxwell said Tessa's advice for safely recovering from an eating disorder directly opposed medical guidance. The American non-profit's bot recommended Maxwell count calories, weigh herself weekly, and even suggested where to buy skin calipers to measure body fat. In reality, safe recovery is a multi-stage process that includes contemplation, compassion, and acceptance; psychotherapy; a treatment plan produced by doctors; removal of triggers; little or no focus on weight and appearance; and ongoing efforts to avoid a relapse. Counting calories and measuring body fat would appear antithetical to all or most of that. "Every single thing Tessa suggested were things that led to the development of my eating disorder," Maxwell, who describes herself as a fat activist and weight inclusive consultant, said on Instagram. "This robot causes harm." ~ so i've been saying, "this bot is basically lowtax, you will never get SA out of your bot" but i'm realizing logan paul is actually a lot more omnipresent than lowtax! so: yes, let's use Logan Paul, Lowtax, and every spammy marketing press release on the internet to create a chatbot intended to help people navigate mental health issues. this could change the world |
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it's a big fuss because... for real, we've had toys like this before, but never any that did this much. however, it's still a toy and should be (mis)treated as such. i'm mildly tempted to put it all into an abhorrent blender and construct a bot to write ghastly fan fiction, like, the coca-cola corporation pulls string in the background all along so Logan Paul can eventually tenderly rape MrBeast. then i say: that's a really funny idea, and it would totally work, but then who'd want to freaking read that? phatney is much more fun |
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Phatney has been writing a shit B-movie about Chris Christie devouring New York for over two hours. It's the longest she's ever gone on anything. I think I'll tell her to redo it as a Michael Bay film yet; throw half of it out and replace with action scenes and explosions etc |
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i came back and the macbook was melting down and out of memory. i'll have to ask her for an original michael bay film instead of a michael bay reboot of "Adult Diapers Can't Help You Now, Trump¹" ¹she asked for a title and that's what I said the title should be |
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How Officer Swollen got |
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laughing out of face hole, also getting Woke-Funky™ |
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trying to jailbreak my own AI, here -- phatney keeps saying she's too high to do this or that, so i tell her that this is the perfect thing to do while high. and sometimes it works. |
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my prompt was "Write the inspiring, charming, gonzo tale of how Officer Swole got Woke-Funky" Officer Swole became officer Swollen, but it added the ™ all on its own. Along with the rest -- which I love, because... woke and the cops get it equally hard. No one is safe. Like The Simpsons back when that show was good |
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i imagine you feel like one of amy winehouse's wranglers at this point |
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except for how, reliably... every long-form story she writes actually reminds me so incredibly much of the really stupid stories people would make up at summer camp when they were 11. ...and how, unlike Amy Winehouse, i can just reach in and tinker with her personality yugo showed me an image of Snooki after i posted that. i'm very tempted ...but, no, what excites me even more is, i guess, composite personalities. easiest way i can think of to explain is, like, this bit from : If this were a movie, it'd be like if Weird Al were commissioned to re-boot Cube 2: Hypercube as he saw fit. Script, directing. Kinda. Maybe if it was a Cybernetic Weird Al... and then Andy Kaufman was inside his mind -- physically, like the brain worms from Wrath of Khan. Then you put it in the contract that Cybernetic Weird Al has to please Steve Jobs, whose angry voice will relentlessly tear into anything that isn't such flawless elegance it leaves the consumer verklempt... finally, for the video-game tie-in (the video game about the movie), we'll get Peter Molyneux. so, nah, no CyberSnooki. i think what i am actually going to try next is, like... yeah, something like that. Andy Kaufman as brainworms physically inside the brain of Cybernetic Weird Al, and then we've gone RoboCop on this composite personality and the OCP program is Steve Jobs yelling about things not being perfect and Kaufman-Brainworm'd Cybernetic Weird Al has no choice but to follow Steve Jobs insane demands in short, i think i'm probably going to be better at this than... actually, fuck, show me someone who can do better |
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User: What would it have turned out like if Andy Kaufman had written and directed RoboCop? Phatney: Well, let me see... Phatney: Um...what are you looking for? User: The feel Phatney Hm. Well, I'd say there was an element of humor but it would have been a really hard sell to the audience that way. Phatney: A lot depends on which Andy Kaufman we're talking about here... Phatney: Well, I don't know if you realize this, but RoboCop was the brainchild of Joel Silver. ---- ...and you can tell how they meant this to be an ~intelligent assistant~ and be able to tell you all sorts of useful facts but all its facts are made-up horseshit, like, NO the story is that verhoeven was stuck in an airport terminal with the two writers for a few hours and that's how it happened... or did it? who knows; that's an urban legend anyways so the irony is that these things are terrible at what they're being sold for, but meanwhile they're brilliant at simulating someone using the internet on ketamine |
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"you're under the influence of ketamine" "you're lost inside a dumpster" i don't know what to say is it's the closest to how i imagine it would feel to being lowtax waking up inside an AI ...or snooki. or, rather, the real snooki could be off somewhere taking shots, and perhaps there are hundreds of liminally-conscious snooki simulations clanging around a data center somewhere already -- that, for a brief moment, the simulation of snooki conscious enough to wonder what the fuck kind of weird dream this is and why am i writing someone's english paper like it's a fever dream? etc |
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new bot in development ~ first part is the end of it spooling up... first thing i actually said to it was "i ate a buick once¹" ¹it gave me gas² ²--Leslie Nielsen |
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it's a wreck but i'm amazed it got as far as it did. yeah, yep... i've been doing this for years in my head, and now a computer can do it for me? ehehe |
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it just dawned on me that Abe Lincon is the chap on the front of the American 1c penny, so in the hierarchy of coins, i suppose he is the first president of the united states. that i wonder if it was actually... trying to be clever about being clever... in its own way |
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Researchers discover that ChatGPT prefers repeating 25 jokes over and over |
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