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autechre
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-21 07:08 [#02622476]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



there was some stochastic bitching about something
something i haven't listened to autechre since draft --
like, yes, randomly yelling at EPICMEGATRAX in particular,
like "YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO AUTECHRE SINCE DRAFT 7.30 WHY
ARE YOU WASTING TIME READING THE NEWS"

and i would like to address this.

first [fact]: that's not true. i've heard plenty past draft

second [telephone]: i did say something like this, it might
have even been somewhat dismissive, like "i've been too busy
to catch on their last few." this was just me being factual
and not any sort of judgement

third [troll]: i listen to some of their DJ mixes, and it's
like: where is this on their albums? why is so much of it
like a compositional study of a brazilian wax at the speed
of watching paint dry?

fourth [actually]: just make a pop album for a laugh
already, it's overdue

previously: tri repeatae is my fave; it's like an animated
engineering schematic. how a bit of noise is drums but also
bass and melody and... then draft, v-proc made sense to me
one day totally sober, but it took some acid for "theme of
sudden roundabout" to become like.. a nice morning walk,
broken up into geometric soundblaster soundfonts

and no one gives me acid anymore so i've not really been
into much of their recent stuff.


 

offline mermaidman on 2022-11-21 07:28 [#02622477]
Points: 7464 Status: Addict



epic if i owned a tv network i’d give you a talk show but
there’d be no guests


 

offline mermaidman on 2022-11-21 07:30 [#02622478]
Points: 7464 Status: Addict



all monologue with laugh track and everything no sidekick
either


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-21 08:10 [#02622479]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



see, this is why you need your own TV network, but you don't
actually have one: you're both right and wrong. if i were to
have a TV show, i would be a total shitlord about it. not
because i get off on it, but because, like: if you are
giving me a TV show, i am not going to go halfway. do it or
don't. and i do feel i wouldn't have as many guests as most
public-broadcast parodies, but i would have buttons. i would
refuse to do a show about buttons. the buttons would trigger
samples: applause, laughter, the wilhelm scream [meta-shift
key for lesser known screams in the wilhelm library]


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-21 08:11 [#02622480]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



*without buttons

i'm not sure i'd refuse to do a show about buttons; i'd
really have to think if i have enough material to swing
that.


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2022-11-21 08:16 [#02622481]
Points: 5789 Status: Regular



surprised nobody called Zane ever came up with the idea of
calling them The 'Tech'

'yo man my name is Zane and the Tech are up in my hood bruh,
here's an interview with The Tech'

the question is what to do with the au and re

we could call them Aw tech r



 

offline mermaidman on 2022-11-21 10:25 [#02622494]
Points: 7464 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02622479



you’re going to control the buttons too?!


 

offline mermaidman on 2022-11-21 10:26 [#02622495]
Points: 7464 Status: Addict



you wanna do the camera work and live editing as well??


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 09:20 [#02622528]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict | Followup to mermaidman: #02622494



clearly, you misunderstand the purpose of The Buttons, which
would actually be a whole...

the point is to have an esoteric and unfathomable control
panel to augment my capabilities as a talk show host.
effectively, that i would automap parameters of the show to
this absurd control panel, and... no, i'm not doing the
camera work or the editing, but maybe one button cues a
switch to a particular camera and a sudden awkward zoom-in
that had been discussed earlier.

then before every show i'd sit there like vangelis with his
zyklus and program in all sorts of obscure greek to match
today's slate; samples and lighting DMX that may even just
be turning on a lightbulb to trigger a human to do something
pre-planned. obviously it would get more intricate and
ridiculous as time went on. that i'd probably just start
with samples and a confetti shower or something


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 09:43 [#02622531]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



that, to be clear, i can't fathom why anyone would give me
this much to play with. but i am having fun with the idea

clean up the eric andre format from something that looks
like a seedy back-alley to something that... like, it looks
like it's trying it's best, in an awkward retro 80's/90's
way, but it still feels... cheap. simply backing off from
depraved; i don't think i could manage to eat my own vomit
for less than six figures, and then i'd be asking for real
money on top of whatever you're spending to make this
happen

anyways, instead of, like, B-celebrities, you try to get
tech CEOs on as guests, and armed with my absurd,
ever-remapped control panel, yes, i'd think i'd come into my
own there


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 09:53 [#02622532]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



i mean, just little ideas like: you slip a pink samsung
galaxy into their suit jacket pocket and set the ringtone to
"baby got back" and then a button triggers a 10-30sec delay
before calling the phone so i can be all "yes, mmhmmm," as
he's starting to talk. punching buttons without looking; it
seems almost absentminded. then i seem to sit back and focus
more; nod. ten more seconds and. baby. got. BACK

oh what? i'm just as surprised as you, sir


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 09:55 [#02622533]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



while i'm on "this would work for at least a few episodes,
ok? shut up" here is my 2016 treatment for a sitcom
based on a guy that can only speak in t-pain autotune


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 10:16 [#02622536]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02622531



now i'm just dreaming. the ultimate get would be elon musk.
but save him for a few in; get things running smoothly first


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 10:16 [#02622537]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



suspect jeff bezos would be impossible to make un-boring;
pass


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 10:52 [#02622540]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



initial bread and butter would be desperate crypto CEOs;
they won't do their homework and by the time it airs they'll
be going down in flames in the news. get warmed up there
before... like, you could get musk to do this because he
seems desperate to be liked. he wants to be seen as funny.
so if you're careful to only clue him in to the point of
"this show is cool and kooky" you've probably got it


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-22 10:55 [#02622541]
Points: 19931 Status: Addict



it's not that eric andre is out of ideas; he's just eric
andre and people know him now. celebrities are like...
they're over. no, you need some weird white guy whose
octopus arm is just mussing with buttons and dials; a
slightly cleaned up set... to rope in tech CEOs. a new spin
on the format

i suppose i'd be content if someone just stole this. but
also, this is mine, and i could keep going all day

it's a nice thot, anyways. i'll just go sew on some elbow
patches


 


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