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 Now online (1)Gwely Mernans ...and 141 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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there was some stochastic bitching about something something i haven't listened to autechre since draft -- like, yes, randomly yelling at EPICMEGATRAX in particular, like "YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO AUTECHRE SINCE DRAFT 7.30 WHY ARE YOU WASTING TIME READING THE NEWS" and i would like to address this. first [fact]: that's not true. i've heard plenty past draft second [telephone]: i did say something like this, it might have even been somewhat dismissive, like "i've been too busy to catch on their last few." this was just me being factual and not any sort of judgement third [troll]: i listen to some of their DJ mixes, and it's like: where is this on their albums? why is so much of it like a compositional study of a brazilian wax at the speed of watching paint dry? fourth [actually]: just make a pop album for a laugh already, it's overdue previously: tri repeatae is my fave; it's like an animated engineering schematic. how a bit of noise is drums but also bass and melody and... then draft, v-proc made sense to me one day totally sober, but it took some acid for "theme of sudden roundabout" to become like.. a nice morning walk, broken up into geometric soundblaster soundfonts and no one gives me acid anymore so i've not really been into much of their recent stuff. |
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epic if i owned a tv network i’d give you a talk show but there’d be no guests |
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all monologue with laugh track and everything no sidekick either |
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see, this is why you need your own TV network, but you don't actually have one: you're both right and wrong. if i were to have a TV show, i would be a total shitlord about it. not because i get off on it, but because, like: if you are giving me a TV show, i am not going to go halfway. do it or don't. and i do feel i wouldn't have as many guests as most public-broadcast parodies, but i would have buttons. i would refuse to do a show about buttons. the buttons would trigger samples: applause, laughter, the wilhelm scream [meta-shift key for lesser known screams in the wilhelm library] |
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*without buttons i'm not sure i'd refuse to do a show about buttons; i'd really have to think if i have enough material to swing that. |
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surprised nobody called Zane ever came up with the idea of calling them The 'Tech' 'yo man my name is Zane and the Tech are up in my hood bruh, here's an interview with The Tech' the question is what to do with the au and re we could call them Aw tech r |
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you’re going to control the buttons too?! |
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you wanna do the camera work and live editing as well?? |
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clearly, you misunderstand the purpose of The Buttons, which would actually be a whole... the point is to have an esoteric and unfathomable control panel to augment my capabilities as a talk show host. effectively, that i would automap parameters of the show to this absurd control panel, and... no, i'm not doing the camera work or the editing, but maybe one button cues a switch to a particular camera and a sudden awkward zoom-in that had been discussed earlier. then before every show i'd sit there like vangelis with his zyklus and program in all sorts of obscure greek to match today's slate; samples and lighting DMX that may even just be turning on a lightbulb to trigger a human to do something pre-planned. obviously it would get more intricate and ridiculous as time went on. that i'd probably just start with samples and a confetti shower or something |
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that, to be clear, i can't fathom why anyone would give me this much to play with. but i am having fun with the idea clean up the eric andre format from something that looks like a seedy back-alley to something that... like, it looks like it's trying it's best, in an awkward retro 80's/90's way, but it still feels... cheap. simply backing off from depraved; i don't think i could manage to eat my own vomit for less than six figures, and then i'd be asking for real money on top of whatever you're spending to make this happen anyways, instead of, like, B-celebrities, you try to get tech CEOs on as guests, and armed with my absurd, ever-remapped control panel, yes, i'd think i'd come into my own there |
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i mean, just little ideas like: you slip a pink samsung galaxy into their suit jacket pocket and set the ringtone to "baby got back" and then a button triggers a 10-30sec delay before calling the phone so i can be all "yes, mmhmmm," as he's starting to talk. punching buttons without looking; it seems almost absentminded. then i seem to sit back and focus more; nod. ten more seconds and. baby. got. BACK oh what? i'm just as surprised as you, sir |
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while i'm on "this would work for at least a few episodes, ok? shut up" my 2016 treatment for a sitcom based on a guy that can only speak in t-pain autotune |
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now i'm just dreaming. the ultimate get would be elon musk. but save him for a few in; get things running smoothly first |
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suspect jeff bezos would be impossible to make un-boring; pass |
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initial bread and butter would be desperate crypto CEOs; they won't do their homework and by the time it airs they'll be going down in flames in the news. get warmed up there before... like, you could get musk to do this because he seems desperate to be liked. he wants to be seen as funny. so if you're careful to only clue him in to the point of "this show is cool and kooky" you've probably got it |
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it's not that eric andre is out of ideas; he's just eric andre and people know him now. celebrities are like... they're over. no, you need some weird white guy whose octopus arm is just mussing with buttons and dials; a slightly cleaned up set... to rope in tech CEOs. a new spin on the format i suppose i'd be content if someone just stole this. but also, this is mine, and i could keep going all day it's a nice thot, anyways. i'll just go sew on some elbow patches |
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