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more walking

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-23 06:29 [#02617638]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

it's 2am tuesday night, the temperature is dropping
rapidly, and absolutely no one will be out. this is a good
time for a walk. mostly uneventful.

i'm at one of my usual pit-stop points, cowering behind some
inscrutable rhombus of traffic machinery for wind-shielding,
to light a zig. no, i still have not quit. sigh

as i finish lighting it and step out, i see a cop waiting at
the light. no, wait, before i know it's a cop, i just see
the headlights floating in the dark, and i think: that's
probably a cop. then he lurches out [he might have ran the
light?] and U-turns away from me.

there's a hole-in-the-wall side-street up ahead. i think:
oh, he's screaming up there, then he will camp out, wait for
me to walk by, and then turn on his headlights to freak me
out. because it's 2am and no one is supposed to be out,
right? even a white guy in a north face jacket and high-end
over-ear cans, in a neighborhood where most of what they
have to deal with is traffic accidents, domestic abuse, and
fentanyl overdoses

but then, fate intervenes. youtube is all: are you still
listening? and i have to open my phone and click "yes." but
then i fumble the phone and it goes into camera mode. i have
to re-load things. re-start the music. continue on my way

i'd forgotten about the officer. precisely about the amount
of time youtube lagged me, he loses patience, and i see some
headlights flick on from off down the aforementioned

he rolls foreward, turns, slowly, and damn, i can't see him,
because i bet he's looking pretty sour about now. thinking:
if i had just waited another twenty seconds i could have
freaked that nerd out

i think at him: you are nothing if not predictable, buddy.
he rolls off. i throw the zig down a zewerkrate


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-23 06:34 [#02617639]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular


i have lit up a zig and am fumbling, trying to stuff the
back into my modified cargo corduroys, and i approach a
crosswalk. a white jeep is absolutely screaming up. i slow
down and stare, not sure if he will stop. he clearly sees
me; slows. i start to walk; resume fumbling my zigs. he is
impatient. came absolutely screaming up, did i mention?

so he doesn't totally stop. keeps rolling. i'm watching him
without turning my eyeballs. then i see him actually start
to accelerate

"motherfucker," i think, and promptly stop dead in my
tracks; whip my face right up to theirs for an eye. there's
glare; i can't see. too bad... for my records, i would like
to know who was driving a car like that, like that...

but it worked. i wasn't even trying to make something work,
i was simply furious. you motherfucker. what are you going
to do, run me over? i will kick your ass.

jeep timidly stops. i calmly look back ahead and keep

but for real. around here, wearing noise-cancelling... habit
of tagging every car and keeping track of it, even on a
stretch of sidewalk. you never know with people like that


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-23 06:36 [#02617640]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

honestly, i walk by the police station three or four times a
day. that cop must have been new. i've looked cops looking
at me in the eye, and the reaction clearly was: "ohhh, him"

i'm pretty boring for a weirdo really


offline mermaidman on 2022-03-23 11:54 [#02617646]
Points: 7935 Status: Regular

it shouldn't be necessary to have same sex intercourse to be
a gay if you're wearing modified cargo corduroys and you
post about it on an internet forum


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-23 17:04 [#02617647]
Points: 30633 Status: Regular

Night walking is great


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-03-23 21:09 [#02617650]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

“Night walking is great”

Mmmm hookers and prostitution!!!


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-24 23:07 [#02617669]
Points: 6148 Status: Addict

i cant fathom how everyone these days walks around cities
with not just headphones, but noise cancelling ones and also
streaming from a smartphone is constantly pinging with
notifications... absolutely|fucking|mental.
rookie cops are great though,if you're polite and know a bit
of NLP you can end up telling them what 2 do... "these are
not the droids you're looking for"


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-24 23:10 [#02617670]
Points: 6148 Status: Addict

caveats on location and melanin


offline Tony Danza from Fabulous Hollywood on 2022-03-25 12:53 [#02617672]
Points: 3375 Status: Regular

cops call him the walkin' dude


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-25 17:25 [#02617724]
Points: 30633 Status: Regular | Followup to recycle: #02617650

hehe yeah, sometimes you see foxes and stuff, and people
disappearing in the shadows


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-03-25 19:51 [#02617732]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

…and over priced hookers!


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-03-25 19:52 [#02617733]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

All joking aside, I never have and never will pay money for
the sexes.

Walking around at night especially is great. It could be so
quiet and simple, animals and crap running around!


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-25 23:27 [#02617737]
Points: 6148 Status: Addict

too anxiety-making in the city.... and in the country it can
end up turning into that bit out of the wicker man with the
slugs fucking


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-03-25 23:34 [#02617739]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

“slugs” lol

See ya get shot
Ya get popped
Ya get rocked
Ya get ded

Love slugs


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-25 23:36 [#02617741]
Points: 6148 Status: Addict

nights with full moons can be especially weird - do not take
mushrooms and go for a walk at night in the countryside in
mid-May, when everything starts to grow like crazy, cos
you'll end up a gibbering wreck, like something out of
Machen ... "the force that through the green fuse drives the
..or... DO !!!


offline hevquip from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2022-03-26 00:08 [#02617743]
Points: 3306 Status: Lurker | Followup to steve mcqueen: #02617669

i don't walk around wearing any headphones in the city at
night because i need to hear the person trying stab me


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-03-26 00:21 [#02617745]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

Don’t get raped and like it


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2022-03-26 03:21 [#02617747]
Points: 30633 Status: Regular

the worst part of it are slipping in unseen barkers eggs


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 07:31 [#02617753]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

it is a little past 3am, and time for a rhythmic tap to a
zig around the block. as i really expect no one to be out, i
am dressed somewhere between assassin's creed and anime
nerd. i am a fan of neither, really, it's just where i've
wound up aesthetically tonight

anyways, i'm stepping to the edge of my driveway, and to my
surprise, there is a car coming. it's slowing. ok. i wait.
he signals left and starts to turn down a street. ok. i look
the other way and step onto the street

and it's a good thing i look again, because he's now much
closer to me, having not turned at all, and he how has his
blinker on the other way, and i'm thinking like... that's
my.. driveway? what are you doing? where are you going? and
i step back onto my driveway.

he roars past and yells something like "huuuaaughmg'terg,"
which i interpreted as a drunken fuckwit attempting to say
hey what the hell buddy. attempting. but failing. not ok

i cross the street. i take it slow. unlike the cop, where at
worst i'd have had to answer some questions, like... i am
going on a walk? smoking a zig? ...this guy is drunk and
dfhjgdf i recognize it, he's end of his rope, bad news. and
he has turned down my next turn.

so yeah. i give it a bit


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 07:37 [#02617754]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

i have my eye on the... well, it looks nice, but the people
at this small apartment complex have not generally struck me
as quality. the light is on, too. i keep my hand near my
phone in case i have to call 911

really, i am worried i'll run into this guy, having just
parked, and then he'll see me again, and attempt to
drunkenly yell at me again, and yeah, cops, i don't hate on
them too hard for the crap they give because they do offer a
tradeoff. i have actually never called the cops on anyone in
my life. but real close a couple times

anyways, nope. quiet. so is the rest of that segment.

i turn the corner, and there he is, idling. shit. but, also,
ok, he's partly dfghdfg because he's drunk and lost and
having a fucking meltdown. i slow my roll and very
conspicuously take my phone out of my pocket, not making any
bones about how i am looking at him. he turns his lights

he changes his mind! he surges forward. i am now opening up
my phone because he is blasting off with no headlines,
sdfgdfg drunk and lost and having a fucking meltdown.

he stops at the corner. he figures it out and turns his
lights back on. i stop at the zewerkrate out of
bottle-throwing range and finish my zig. fone in hand.
watching. i flick my zig into the trash

it's the starting bell! he turns his lights off again, and
floors it around a corner

i thought: oh, let him go
then i thot: no, wait, that was p. bad
then later i realized: i never got his plate and that's why
he kept turning off his lights.


offline mermaidman on 2022-03-26 08:45 [#02617755]
Points: 7935 Status: Regular

i have finally decided what to wear to the next lgbt parade


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 08:50 [#02617756]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

it just occurred to me that it never occurred to me to just
walk another way. perhaps that would have been wise...
however, i had decided my route, thank you very much, and
fuck you, i live here. and perhaps that was about right,
don't get into peoples' biz just exercising the caution you
should with drunk idiots 3am friday nite, fucking with my
phone, just, don't try anything, i see you... and i rustled
him off. psychology dictates he was screaming
huuuuuuaaaaaggghhhhhh'mterg as he drove like an ant on fire
until he was about two miles away, found some other street
to huddle down in and curse at the GPS he was too drunk to
understand. but now the problem is somewhere further from
where i live, at least.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 08:51 [#02617757]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02617755

they'd arrest you. rethink it


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 09:52 [#02617758]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

probably my worst nightmare would be if mermaidman were
aphex twin. just so watered-down. if mark bell was a full
bellend, mermaidman is, generously, 0.12 bellend. and i'm
sorry, at that exchange rate, i have to walk


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 10:40 [#02617759]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02617758

wow shit i went and queried my sqlite db, like, i know i
mentioned the aphex twin postulate somewhere. and perfect,
perfect, thanks past me



offline mermaidman on 2022-03-26 11:41 [#02617761]
Points: 7935 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02617757

just cause i'm dressed like assassin's creed?


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-03-26 12:39 [#02617762]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

so i think: whatever he's on about it's going to be some bit
from what i just posted but it's so formulaic and
unimaginative i'm really not sure which bit he's after... so
i'll pretend he has a much better idea than that instead, to
be polite?

oh well


offline mermaidman on 2022-03-26 13:35 [#02617763]
Points: 7935 Status: Regular

you gave me idea to dress like assassin's creed


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-04-09 09:30 [#02618001]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

it's kind of ironic, my update to this thread, probably my
least gay in ages. that on a one out of ten scale, i'll be
frank, i am like 6-8 gay, depending on my mood.

but then i'm out on a walk loop and this woman sort of
ambles into my trajectory, i suspect actually from a bar i
visit myself sometimes. that, i dunno, since pandemic
shit... you never know how people are about masks and crap
and... so i'm listening to, my own shit actually, and i hop
past her on the sidewalk and keep going on the street.

then a few minutes later i'm at the rail bridge and i light
up a zig, knowing she will come up behind me. so i hunker up
to the bridge rail, like, here, scoot by, and prepare to not
give a crap about how dare i a zig

but instead she wants a zig too and we wind up talking for a
half hour, and she has a mixed-raced son with a riced out
car, and she, actually, clearly has her eye on me. and this
is super weird because i really actually liked talking with
her, that she is far from a genius, but in a soul sense, we
do connect. but then i have not had a girlfriend since high
school and once she's told me about her son i realize i've
seen him walking down the street and oh i know the car he
drives, with the loud exhaust

i guess about where it's wound up is she wanted hugs as we
departed ways and i do enjoy hugs, and ok. but this whole
situation, i can't even feel like a dad to that guy, he's
taller than i am. even an older brother, weird,
questionable. and we live so close-by, that if it went

but, actually, utterly bizarre to me that i am even
considering it. very well might not. too confusing


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-04-09 09:39 [#02618002]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

i guess the clincher was like, "if you ever see me, we can
walk together" and kind of like, oh gosh, i'm into it now.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 04:15 [#02618541]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

that i have, i admit, started to feel somewhere between
callous and sarcastic about the situation. walking just

oh, it's one of those women that have a blindingly white
flashlight that they conspicuously wave everywhere to get
you to get out of the fucking way. that, if we shelve all
the pronoun shit for the sake of argument, i give it 80%
that this was a woman, as biology defines it.

oh, hmm, i have noise cancelling headphones on. it'd be
easier if you cross the street like half of you do.

nope. she/it/etc just rapidly waves her flashlight around...
but, oh, shoot, what's that tree over there? that's a
fascinating tree

then as we reach intersection i do what a normal person
would: i check behind me for traffic and cross most of the
way across the street, to give her plenty of space.

out of the corner of my eye, i see she's entirely moved off
the street and retreated a paranoid six feet into a
driveway. i avoid any sort of eye contact. as i keep going,
she drops her flashlight, an obvious attempt to receive
acknowledgement. which is respectfully declined


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 04:29 [#02618542]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

hmm, hm. where is the other 20%?

10% is the asian man that is so hopelessly acquiescent that
i want to slap him: stop being so polite. it's irritating
the shit out of me. but he'd never swing a flashlight like
that. fundamentally, he always moves like he's on downers,
or something, even the motions are wrong. he'd never be that

other 10% is an obnoxiously patronizing persian man, who
would not only never be out this late, but is too miserable
to be a dog owner, and would also never flashlight like

100% that was a woman. as biology defines it


offline hevquip from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2022-05-10 04:35 [#02618544]
Points: 3306 Status: Lurker

i walked to the gas station for a soda and people yelled at
me from their cars on 3 separate occasions. i couldn't let
any of them see me laughing though because it's about
getting a reaction and unironically that's the kind of
society i want anyway. i've also started carrying a gun.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 04:44 [#02618548]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

oh, sure. a month ago i was standing on a bridge, smoking a
zig, and some guy blasts by, yelling, huahahfsdhsdfshjg

and, sorry, whatever you attempted to communicate didn't
quite make it, there. i suspect it was something like
"fucking fag" but i'm just guessing based on the emotional
tone and i genuinely could not make out a word of that. but
i could hear enough you are drunk with an IQ at
approximately room temperature, thanks.

from there, reaction kind of like the lads watching from the
landing up above after like LAZY_TITLE

hand just casually twitches out of the way of a beer stein.
not that they literally thew anything; that was just the
feel and this was the vibe i sent back.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 05:01 [#02618549]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

there's been a bit on here about me vastly amusing myself by
wearing ridiculous shit. that it wasn't for anyone else.
some middle school girls laughed at me one day, but that
made me smile, there was no hate. but the eyes, lot of data
in the eyes, and when some guy in a white silverado's eyes
say "i fucking hate you faggot" it was actually kind of
like... wow, why do you care so much?

and the answer i worked out is i am having a right giggle
looking like, i dunno, cyperpunk/hackers(1995)/ghost in the
shell, and it's the same as old people who look out their
window and scowl all the time, stay off my lawn.
essentially, they have denied themselves expression, having
fun, and to see someone else doing this really pokes a sore
spot. that it is way, way deeper than "do as the other

and after that i actually did tone it down, because i'm
doing this to have fun, not to be in peoples' faces. like,
alright, this can genuinely be incendiary and that was never
what i meant it to be.

but that evening, i was dressed quite boring, really, and i
have absolutely no idea why they threw a verbal beer stein
on that bridge that night. it was probably genuinely random


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 05:41 [#02618553]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

unperturbed. that's the adjective i want. i was decidedly
unperturbed and moved my hand out of the way snoozily, ow,
hey, a bit of that nicked me. but it was so trivial i've not
really felt the need to take anything other than lazy
action; it would be a stretch to even call that a flinch.

and i made sure they felt that and it's how i'd encourage
you to handle it as well. if the gun is ever relevant,
frankly, hospital or jail, which do you prefer?


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 06:18 [#02618554]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

i have been invited to a local poker circle on three
separate occasions and every time they've had this sort of
weird glimmer in their eye. i think it's that they can't
decide if i'd be complete crap or amazing and it's not even
in the middle probably

it's a bit of both, i'd suspect. but next time that happens
again i actually think i might say yes. the only reason i've
said no is i categorically refuse to engage in gambling. but
now i'm kind of curious how i'd do myself and paying to see
is a bit different


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 06:19 [#02618555]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

three separate poker circles in three different geographic
regions, all a few years apart, i should clarify. i've been
asked by three but no one has ever asked twice


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 06:22 [#02618556]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

but, i dunno. internally, i did emotionally react to some
guy screaming at me on a bridge, kind of a pathetic cringe.
which never made it out. very quickly i pulled it back
together, and fuck this drunken trump supporter, and you
know what? i am fucking unperturbed. i am screamingly
unperturbed. and they might not have gotten the full signal
but they definitely got no satisfaction, and i didn't need
eye contact to read this.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-10 06:51 [#02618557]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

alright, actually, this is a serious safety discussion. in a
situation like that, it is important to at least acknowledge
the asshole getting in your face. to kind of shield up and
ignore it implies vulnerability and more harassment. if you
smile and say oh hello, that will also invite more
harassment. what i am describing here is a sort of
deliberately snoozy acknowledgement, like, very clearly
immediately indicating you've noticed, but seeming
incredibly bored by it and then back to minding our business
and, like, both defuses the scenario and leaves them all
cocked and pussy is gone you're not cumming

but three times on the way to buy a soda? if you are
obviously trans or something like that, my sympathies. one
of my best friends from high school went female and shit
like someone slashed her car tires in dead of night and no
one ever figured out who

but you're a good lobster and this board needs quality posts
and you should do this sort of thing instead of either emit
a victim beacon or go taxi driver because both will end


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-05-10 07:06 [#02618560]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

I like fruit loops


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-15 11:11 [#02618661]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

i prefer time loops.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-05-15 11:13 [#02618662]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

fruity paradoxes are ok


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2022-05-15 13:18 [#02618670]
Points: 39432 Status: Regular

joyrex plz unban me


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-06-22 02:22 [#02619382]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

me too plz


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-06-22 02:33 [#02619383]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

it is a nice day and i am having a nice wok and i feel the
heat of a stare from an approaching car. i generally decline
this tingle but sometimes i look just for variety, and i
look. it is a 20-something bro in a black BMW [either x5
(base MSRP $60k) or x7 (base MSRP $75k)] and he really wants
my eye. as soon as he has it, it's like... the where you
kind of shrugwiggle and throw your arms up in the air,
except he's driving so he does it one-handed. his message is
very clear: "bro, why the fuck are you dressed like that?"

i only hesitated a fraction of a second before turning
around and throwing my cigarette at his car as he went down
the street. might have got him

"condensing fact from the vapor of nuance," Neal Stephenson
called it. he could basically speak to me with a look and a
minimal gesture as he was driving a car by me down the
street. and i spoke back very clearly.

but what really kind of hangs on me is how fast i can become
utterly furious. this whole incident took barely more than a
second: make eye contact, he speaks, i get pissed, i throw a
cigarette at his car. this means i went from "oh what a
lovely day" to "i will fucking smash your face in" in the
neighborhood of about 250-500ms. just guessing. but it hangs
on me, because if he'd gotten mad and stopped, well... i
would have been delighted to throw down.

the far right in america are having their day in the sun and
going around and giving anyone who seems vaguely weird
grief, right now. i was not dressed terribly weird, even,
he's just a republican bro doche with more money than
brains, riding the wave... but, you know what, buddy? the
faggots will kick your ass if you get in their face.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-06-22 03:13 [#02619384]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

after my dad died a bunch of relatives were over, and i was
hearing stories about my grandfather on mum's side i'd never
heard before. i only met him once or twice before he had a
heart attack and never really knew him.

they lived on the 4th floor in the bronx somewhere, in the
70s, and the hot water in the building is broken again. and
my grandfather drunk. and furious. and he sees the building
super down on the sidewalk four floors below and promptly
picks up a flower pot and throws it at the guy from above

i did not hesitate. i cut my aunt off, and said: "ohhh,
that's where i get it."

because there are aspects of it in my immediate family, but
i'm kind of another level. it didn't fit. now it does


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-06-22 05:34 [#02619386]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular



offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-06-22 06:05 [#02619387]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02619383

> the far right in america are having their day in the
sun and going around and giving anyone who seems vaguely
weird grief, right now

that this has gone from like "ohhhhh, nah, quit thinking so
dismal" to "alright, this is not paranoia, and what i see is
not only very real, but utterly fucking disgusting." and i'm
getting kind of mad about it.

but also a tad nervous, which i don't like. that's where you
start to broadcast that victim beacon. if i didn't get mad,
i'd just get freaked out instead. but i've started carrying
a knife again


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2022-11-09 22:12 [#02622152]
Points: 23210 Status: Regular

the crap with walking by people on the sidewalk and them
freaking out, because, oh my god, social distancing -- which
has turned from a basic functional thing for some people
into some massively impossible, impossible-to-placate ritual
-- has actually, gradually toned the fuck down. i can walk
by people and nod and smile and see the only real nerves
they're feeling is that i'll freak out because they're
getting too close. much better

but some people are still stuck in it, and now they're
really starting to stick out. cross the street if they see
anyone less than a minute's walking away.

then just now. two, actually, i opted not to really look,
but feel was 50+ neurotic hens and they're walking to
tactically cover the whole sidewalk. we'll intersect, yes,
about ten feet before i need to turn left; as a reasonable
person i see no option but to keep going.

they see i will keep going and shift right to try and shunt
me left into a fence and a driveway. i ignore it. they
awkwardly shunt left themselves and i'm only watching out of
the corner of my eye, but it's like flap! flapflap! omg!
flap! omg! what do we do halp

drama queens.


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